Why do you love to wear High Heels?

[Tacchi Alti]

16 hours ago, Cali said:

I have an colleague/friend from Iraq that I have known and worked with for 30 years. He can't get over I wear women's shoes. He knows about my injury and still thinks I should get "medical heels". Then I ask him how much does he thinks  it would cost for a pair of "custom made medical heels" and what would tell look like? And what would the sandals look like? And you can just have one pair. For the $320+ I can get many beautiful heels anytime I want. "Medical high heels" are a joke.

Indeed. They must be extraordinarily ugly, and I'm sure they are used for rather more complicated cases than what will simply be 'corrected' with ordinary high heels. The elevator shoes I had the misfortune to buy recently looked horrific, and the word 'orthopaedic' came to both my mind and my wife's. I can never imagine wearing them, quite apart from the fact I was told a pack of lies by the seller about the insert. Despite my detailed questions - and reasons for asking them - about the actual lift rather than the increase in height, and the assurance I had that the soles were not thick, the shoes came with inner soles at least an inch thick, which defeated the object, and of course to accommodate the insole the actual shoe was monstrous, a fact carefully concealed in pictures. My wife likened them to the shoes an elderly friend used to wear because of severe oedema! I bought them from a seller in California, Tall Men Shoes , who flatly refused to pay return carriage, having already charged me an arm and a leg for carriage to the UK. They said they'd refund me the purchase price if I returned them, but I told them they'd already fobbed me off with so many lies I didn't trust them to refund me.

The history of this purchase? My wife has said that I should be prepared to wear heels in front of everyone we know, so I had to have a pair of shoes I'd be happy to wear with a business suit or just casually at home amongst church members. We agreed I'd get these, although we both knew they'd be expensive, so she was just as disappointed as me. I think, though, that it highlighted for her the problems of getting anything 'smart' that's not obviously got a high heel. I have some Oxfords with block heels just under four inches, but she doesn't like them because they look like granny shoes. However, I've worn them with some success (ie no comments although they were obviously studied!) with the heels showing plainly, amongst a few friends from church, so perhaps they are regarded as fairly masculine.

[jeremy1986]

Sorry to side with your wife on this one, Tacchi, but I also thing that oxfords, no matter how high, do look like "old peoples shoes" !!

but look at it this way  - at least she wants you to look good, even if in heels!

 

[Pierre1961]

Sorry Jeremy. No no no.! Oxford shoes don't like old people shoes. 

Yes,It was in fashion in the past. I can remember as a kid that my female doctor was wearing such shoes. And I kept calling these shoes " Doctor shoes"  since I grow up. 

But Oxford shoes and a short skirt or a skinny jean on a cute young girl are really nice. 

So I would prefer to name  them: "intemporelles" 

[aristoc]

On 23/11/2017 at 11:23 AM, jeremy1986 said:

Sorry to side with your wife on this one, Tacchi, but I also thing that oxfords, no matter how high, do look like "old peoples shoes" !!

 

My thoughts exactly!

Trouble is over recent years I have to confess I’ve transgressed over to the ‘dark side’ with a few pairs of oxfords. More worryingly I do rather quite like them, but then again I am now old!

Office ‘oxies’

Fun time ‘oxies’

Construction  site ‘oxies’

Edited November 24, 2017 by aristoc

[spikesmike]

I have no explanation for the title of this post. Once when I was very young I tried on mommies high heels. Never got over the love or desire 

to wear them again. The older I got, the higher I wanted the heel to be. So, Here I am wearing high stiletto heels in public every day

all day long. What ever will become of me ?    spikesmike

Edited November 29, 2017 by spikesmike

[K2inheels]

Loved all the various reasons you all are wearing heels. It's great to be able to hear other people experience and passion for heels. But I digress here as this  post should be about why I love heels and wear them.

For me I did not start out in my youth trying heels. I came to this later in life after I had participated in the charity, "Walk a Mile in Her Shoes." For those of you who do not know what charity this is, this is a charity that raise money to raise awareness in their community about the serious causes, effects and remediations to men's sexualized violence against women. They conduct many events in this country where men come out to walk a mile in a pair of heels. The official heels of the events are from LeDame footwear. Have a pair of them that I used once but they are not really my style. Anyway, that is where I found that I liked wearing heels and started on this journey wearing them.

Unlike many women and some men, I choise a route of learning about heels, walking in them, fitting them before I really got into them. I spent time studing women that walked gracefully in heels, talked with some of those women I met who helped me in my journey. I then practiced, practiced and practiced walking in heels before I set out in public. And when I did I was walking with confidence and poise. No wobbling, weaving all over the place. Now days my heels of choice range from 4" to 5" with most being stilletos, but I do have chunkier heels on my booties or boots.

Bottom line is I feel more confident in heels, think that they look great on me and love the beauty of the shoes. They are graceful and elegant.

And I love helping both men and women to learn about and enjoy heels. So if you ever see another man walking in heels, give them a thumbs up!

[fiddler1307]

Right, let's accept as fact that it feels so good to wear high heels. I'm guessing everyone else loves them as much as I do.

Pushing this question to the next stage, is there anything that would convince any of the members to stop wearing them?

[Pierre1961]

I could find a lot of really good reasons for stopping to wear high heels. 

But i won't give you any. Because I think it is a losing battle. 

[bailey]

I have always been fascinated by high heels. Even as a young boy around the age of ten I would like to look at females in high heels. My mother has always been a "fashionista" and had her share of heels. I would try them on when she was not home because at the time my feet would still fit her shoes. Growing up the girls in school that wore heels always caught my eye...I would say I have always been a "leg man". 

As I have got older I have wanted to enjoy heels also and love the look of them. I did not want to just admire them from affair any more. Bought my first pair more than 15 years ago and have purged many times since. But in reality and thanks to an understanding wife I do not need to do so anymore. Now we both enjoy our heels, mine in the privacy of our home or while driving and her just about anywheres. But the feeling and look that a fabulous pair or heels can give you is like adrenaline. Everyone should feel good about themselves...and heels are just one way to do so.

[HappyinHeels]

Cali,

"Medical heels" as we'll call them for this topic cost so much as they are considered a "medical device" and are highly regulated as a result. It reminds of the prices I've seen for compression hosiery at a Walgreens or other such drug store. You can much the same sensation in regular women's hosiery for much less. Besides doing your own thing makes you heart soar now doesn't it??

bnchmrk,

With such a heel collection I really think you should go somewhere and ear those heels. Restricting your wear to home and the car will eventually get to you. Maybe take a trip to NYC or Montreal or Florida for the heck of it and take some of those fabulous heels with you. You'll both enjoy it I'm sure!  HappyinHeels

[Cali]

I was thinking of getting a doctor's note stating I need "high heels" so I could then write them off as a "medical expense". I buy enough heels it could be worth a big tax deduction. Or maybe use tax free dollars to buy them.

[Shyheels]

I think, if you could manage such a thing at all, that the only types of shoes you could write off would be the expensive and clunky medical ones, nothing fashionable. 

[HappyinHeels]

Cali,

Since you wear heels to work at the college perhaps you could make the scholarly argument it is part of your work outfit ??? People write off stranger things. We really need to go to a goods and services tax like Canada has and put all these tax prep folks out of business. Tax consumption, not savings or retirement. Now there's a plan I can sink my heels into :). HinH

[Shyheels]

I don't know about the US tax system, but in Australia deductions for clothing have to be for clothes that you would not normally wear on the street - a gorilla suit, for example, if you were an entertainer or delivered gorilla-grams. Heels just wouldn't make it.

[Micce]

On 11/24/2017 at 10:34 PM, aristoc said:

My thoughts exactly!

Trouble is over recent years I have to confess I’ve transgressed over to the ‘dark side’ with a few pairs of oxfords. More worryingly I do rather quite like them, but then again I am now old....

 

 

I am 51 and oxfords are my favorites   Must make them old people shoes. Though even as a teen I recall having liked the style.  Kind of male shoes with stiletto heels added, so to speak.

And one advantage compared with pumps is the superb stability thanks to shoelaces.

 

[nzfreestyler]

On 12/7/2017 at 2:14 AM, fiddler1307 said:

Right, let's accept as fact that it feels so good to wear high heels. I'm guessing everyone else loves them as much as I do.

Pushing this question to the next stage, is there anything that would convince any of the members to stop wearing them?

For me - I would loose interest in my high heels if I could not wear a skirt or a dress. I prefer my legs out there, and the shoes and my legs look much better like that. If I wear jeans with heels it is very very very reluctantly - so hardly ever happens. I almost never leave home in flats/ low heels anymore so I mostly in a skirt/dress.

My heels are en extension of my legs and need to be shown so I reckon I would loose interest in I had to hide my legs/ankles.

Similarly if I was limited to ankle boots/knee boots etc I would definitely stop.

[Shyheels]

Each to their own. I do not even own a pair of shoes, other than for cycling. And I would be as likely to wear a skirt as I would be to wear a burka. Viva la difference...

[JeffB]

9 hours ago, nzfreestyler said:

For me - I would loose interest in my high heels if I could not wear a skirt or a dress. I prefer my legs out there, and the shoes and my legs look much better like that. If I wear jeans with heels it is very very very reluctantly - so hardly ever happens. I almost never leave home in flats/ low heels anymore so I mostly in a skirt/dress.

My heels are en extension of my legs and need to be shown so I reckon I would loose interest in I had to hide my legs/ankles.

Similarly if I was limited to ankle boots/knee boots etc I would definitely stop.

Great minds think alike! My love for wearing heels increased exponentially after I went all in on wearing skirts and dresses on my outings, and I haven't looked back, nor would I want to as I'm having more fun than ever. If I stuck with wearing pants and jeans, I would've gotten bored and stopped, so I'm glad I broadened my horizons by adopting skirts to my wardrobe. However, I'm perfectly fine wearing flats (mainly sandals in spring and summer) while boots (ankle, knee and thigh) work great with shorter skirts.

[Pierre1961]

If you wore heels in front of her,for sure she would run away! 

If your relation is recent you can hope to bring her to high heels little by little. Doesn't she have a female friend who wears hh? That could help .You can explain that heels is just something that add some excitement but is of course not enough by itself. I supposed that you already did it.

It makes me think that your girlfriend is not old.You have a chance she could change  

If she really refused that then you have to keep your high heel fetish somewhere hidden in your mind  and let her forget you have a fetish  

Please don't look at other women wearing nice shoes when you are with her  

have a compensation with wearing bed shoes yourself when you are alone  

Many difficult things! 

I hope you could succeed! 

 

[Tech]

So your actually telling us that the heels ARE more important, but asking us how do you convince her that they are not?

Are you for real?

What kind of person puts the shoes first and the person second?

Go back and read your introduction too, you clearly dont care who you meet, you are more interested in a pair of shoes..

Nobody wants to be in any relationship where they are second place to something they own or wear.

[Pumped]

On 2/13/2018 at 8:19 AM, HeelAddictBe said:

The problem is she know i have a high heel fetish, but she does not like to wear them.

Als i ask her to wear some bedheels when we have sex, but now she says the heels are more important than her and the sex stopped ....

Maybe you have the wrong girlfriend!

You need to find a lady with similar interests, find a gal that loves heels as much or more than you.

[Steve63130]

Pumped is right. You're not going to change your girlfriend's dislike of heels and the more you want her to wear them, the more she'll resist. This relationship is going to be very unsatisfactory for you (as in "disaster"). Cut her off at once. Yes, it'll hurt for a short time, but it will free you up to find another woman with interests more closely aligned with yours. They're out there; you just have to take the bold steps and find them. But give up on this one. It's not going anywhere, and you know it.

Good luck! And keep us posted.

Steve

[Jkrenzer]

Why wouldn't love heels. My old Pleaser two tones at work.

[CAT]

On 2/17/2018 at 12:33 PM, Jkrenzer said:

Why wouldn't love heels. My old Pleaser two tones at work.

Absolutely fantastic way to dress at work!!!  I’m jealous! 

[Histiletto]

My first recollection of the footwear I preferred, happened when I was toddler of about 30 to 33 months. My sister had brought home the day before a pair of Mary Jane black patent leather shoes, a lot like these:  which I really liked more than the brown leather high tops I had been given. The next morning as I arose, my mom told me to get ready for an activity at the church. After bathing and getting dressed, my thought was to put on the Mary Janes so they would be mine to wear for the day. Everything seem to be going smoothly until my sister woke up and realized I was wearing them. A quarrel broke out and the footwear I had thought were mine, were given to my sister. Need I say anything about not being happy with this arrangement. No matter how much I cried and protested, the high tops were forced upon me and my understanding of mine was shattered, but my desire to wear them grew. Later on, when I saw chances to wear them, they'd be on my feet, even when it was during bedtime. There was no shortage of squabbles, because of this and the relationship with my sister became really strained over time until she out grew them. You guessed it, I immediately claimed possession of my preferred footwear when she brought home another pair. The time that ensued was like heaven on earth, because I was wearing the footwear of my dreams. Where ever I existed, the Mary Janes were securely on my feet with only a very few exceptions. Also, the practice of boys wearing Mary Janes was still a fashionable look, but I wasn't aware of this. I just knew I loved wearing them and my understanding of getting them replaced with another pair of Mary Janes was a certainty, since my sister got another pair. Life couldn't have been sweeter! Then the day came for my Mary Janes to be replaced. With an elated anticipation, I walk up to the shoe display and chose them. What do you mean no? Haven't I showed you how much I want them? OH! NO! You're going to make me wear high tops again! Doesn't what I want have the same importance as sis's? I guess I'm not worth much of anything to you, but my desire to wear them is still with me. For the next decade plus, I learned to connive, deceive, and lie to try and get some moments of satisfaction for my desire. I didn't trust any one and no one seem to care enough to cause a difference. I was alone in crowds, that had programs for achievement, but they didn't really motivate me to excel. Others would be wearing Mary Janes and oh how I wished I was them. My sister has probably been the most victimized during this time for I constantly invaded her space, which I now regret, because we are so distant in our relationship and I wasn't able to be there for her when she needed someone.

Moving on, my desire developed into the obsession, which included high heeled pumps. As a teenager, there were many situations that I took advantage for the wearing of heels. I learned the size I needed and how they felt to wear. I finally earned enough money to purchase my own heels, which looks similar to this pump: All this activity was done under the guise of secrecy. With these obsessed feelings, I entered adulthood, trying to cope with everything, while still feeling alone and still satisfying the importance I felt for me to wear heels, I pressed on. I've made a decent living with achievements and less rewarding situations to overcome. Through it all, I still have the taste and desire to wear high spike heeled pumps and I love how it feels in fulfilling this. Yes, I have left out a lot of personal things, events, and activities, but you have enough to know why I love to wear high heels.

Edited February 25, 2018 by Histiletto

[mlroseplant]

On 2/17/2018 at 10:21 AM, Steve63130 said:

Pumped is right. You're not going to change your girlfriend's dislike of heels and the more you want her to wear them, the more she'll resist. This relationship is going to be very unsatisfactory for you (as in "disaster"). Cut her off at once. Yes, it'll hurt for a short time, but it will free you up to find another woman with interests more closely aligned with yours. They're out there; you just have to take the bold steps and find them. But give up on this one. It's not going anywhere, and you know it.

Good luck! And keep us posted.

Steve

Interesting turn of discussion, and I believe I have just the way to bring it all back on point, if you'll bear with me for a couple of minutes. 

I don't feel I'm qualified to give much of an opinion about whether it is a good idea to basically dismiss a girlfriend because she doesn't like high heels, but I can tell you that this sticky little problem can work the opposite way as well. What I mean is, one might conceivably  find a woman who really enjoys wearing heels before one ever meets her, and is quite happy to continue doing so within the context of one's new relationship. This may be quite wonderful and exciting for a time. However, it is quite risky to place a lot of importance on just one or two superfluous qualities, because one may find oneself putting up with all sorts of objectionable behaviors for the sake of continuing to get one's "shoe fix."

I don't know, maybe he should find a new girlfriend, but guessing from the short explanation we are given here, this problem will rear its ugly head, or as the case may be, its ugly foot, again at some point in the future. 

Which now gives me the opportunity to bring it back around and address the question that is the title of this thread. Another reason I like wearing heels is because it has solved the above mentioned problem for me quite nicely. Now that I wear my own heels, I do not feel the need to badger my wife into wearing them if she doesn't really feel like it. I no longer have to live vicariously through someone else. That leaves my wife and me more freedom to concentrate on other things that are really more important than shoes. 

[jeremy1986]

1 minute ago, mlroseplant said:

Now that I wear my own heels, I do not feel the need to badger my wife into wearing them if she doesn't really feel like it. I no longer have to live vicariously through someone else. That leaves my wife and me more freedom to concentrate on other things that are really more important than shoes. 

This is a great point and somewhat relevant to me as well.

My wife has a nice selection of heels and boots, and I LOVE seeing her in them. Though of late, she hardly wear heels at all, and if she does - its relatively low kitten heel boots (which are still lovely - but not the "action" I like to see). As you say, having my own, means that I - as you put it, "get my fix" wearing my own heels myself. Luckily, my wife is somewhat accepting of this, but would still love to see hers more often!

[RonC]

Jeremy, just curious, have you asked her why she never wears heels anymore?  Is it a foot problem maybe, or some other physical issue?  And again, just curious, do you ever request that she wear a certain pair of shoes?  

When she could still wear heels, my wife was wonderfully accommodating.  I probably picked out 75% of the shoes she owned, and any time I asked her to wear something I really liked, she never had an issue (unless maybe they were just the wrong shoes for the outfit she was wearing).  That said, since I had a major hand in picking out he shoes, I liked most everything she had!  Unfortunately, foot issues put an end to any type of heels, and continued foot issues together with some nerve damage which has impacted the function of her left leg have resulted in her not being able to wear much of anything that I would call cute.  I know I shouldn't feel this way, but it has been very difficult for me.  I really miss her in heels!  

[jeremy1986]

Hi @RonC

Sorry to hear about your wife's situation. I can understand it being hard for the both of you - sounds like your wife enjoyed making you happy in this regard.

15 minutes ago, RonC said:

Jeremy, just curious, have you asked her why she never wears heels anymore?  Is it a foot problem maybe, or some other physical issue?  And again, just curious, do you ever request that she wear a certain pair of shoes?  

and yes - she's been pretty clear about it. its basically a confidence issue  - to begin with she is tall (at about 178cm- maybe even a cm or 2 more than me!) - so she doesn't always like standing out with the extra height. I think she enjoyed it in her younger single years, getting more attention, but now things are different. Making the issue worse, is that she has put on quite a bit of weight over the last few years, and she feels that the heels will make her stand out even more, making people see her weight. I can certainly understand this issue.

Also, at some point during one of the pregnancies, her feet seemed to grow another size! So being a UK9 now, kind of limits her selections too. 

That's basically the issue. I still like to think that the situation will improve if she loses the weight, but coming into her 40's, i'm not sure....  

such a pity, as she has some heels that she hasn't even worn more than once! 

 

[mlroseplant]

2 hours ago, jeremy1986 said:

Hi @RonC

Sorry to hear about your wife's situation. I can understand it being hard for the both of you - sounds like your wife enjoyed making you happy in this regard.

and yes - she's been pretty clear about it. its basically a confidence issue  - to begin with she is tall (at about 178cm- maybe even a cm or 2 more than me!) - so she doesn't always like standing out with the extra height. I think she enjoyed it in her younger single years, getting more attention, but now things are different. Making the issue worse, is that she has put on quite a bit of weight over the last few years, and she feels that the heels will make her stand out even more, making people see her weight. I can certainly understand this issue.

Also, at some point during one of the pregnancies, her feet seemed to grow another size! So being a UK9 now, kind of limits her selections too. 

That's basically the issue. I still like to think that the situation will improve if she loses the weight, but coming into her 40's, i'm not sure....  

such a pity, as she has some heels that she hasn't even worn more than once! 

 

I'll answer this question as well, even though it was not directed at me. My wife also gained quite a bit of weight as a result of childbirth, and her feet grew enough that all of her old shoe collection was unwearable. It has taken several years, but she has slowly gotten back to her pre-pregnancy weight (congratulations to her!), but the hormonal changes have somehow affected the structure of her foot, so that her poor dogs just cannot take wearing heels the way they used to. Also, she now has a job where she stands for 8 hours a day. That probably doesn't help.

The point is, I think it shows a fundamental difference between the way most women approach wearing heels and the way that most of us here at HHP approach it (gender inclusive). My wife will be 49 years old this year. In her mind, I am sure that not wearing heels all the time is not that big of a problem. She sure did enjoy high heels, and still does, but I do not believe that she has the "high heel gene" that most members here probably possess. Wearing heels was just something that society kind of expected of her when she was younger, and she took to it rather more than most. However, now that she's older, the social pressure isn't there any more, in fact it's probably the opposite. It's only natural that she will continue to wear heels less and less as the years go by. And like I say, that's fine. I have my own heels now!

By contrast, my friend and shoe buddy who is a female slightly younger than my wife at age 43 does possess the "high heel gene." You will hardly ever see her in flats anywhere, because she just loves to wear heels. She has even expressed worry that someday she'll have to give them up as she ages. If only she could see the membership here! I'd say she's good for at least another 20 or 30 years if she wants to be.