Master Resource: General Public Discussions of men in heels

[mlroseplant]

"Cisgender women are encouraged to wear heels—if rom-com cliches are to be believed, the average girl basically lives in patent black stilettos. The same cannot be said for male-presenting humans.

Even in New York, a city where you can openly sob on the subway and be left alone, people will openly gawk over a man in heels. They’ll catcall. They’ll sneer. They’ll snap not-so-covert photos. “It’s really hard to have to choose expression over privacy or safety,” Han admitted."

 

Really? New York must be a lot rougher place than Chicago. In Chicago, I had a few stares during my several day visit, and possibly a few pictures snapped (though I don't know that for sure), but no one was rude to me in the least. It was pretty awesome, I got to wear heels all day long for 3 days! That doesn't happen often.

Otherwise, it was actually a nice article, though I do agree with sf that they kind of left out us cisgender men. But I'm not too fussed about it.

Edited October 5, 2018 by mlroseplant
clarity

[kneehighs]

On 10/3/2018 at 1:58 PM, Rockpup said:

Soo... Drudge Report linked to a story about men wearing heels

https://www.thedailybeast.com/more-men-are-wearing-stilettosif-they-can-find-their-size

Great find. Thanks for sharing.

I think it was a well written article, even bullish in some sentences.  

[Gudulitooo]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2UhbfXlCkc

From Buzzfeed.

 

[Shyheels]

Entertaining in its way, and interesting bit with the history of heels, but again, as these things usually do, it heavily reinforces the idea that guys who wear heels must be gay and that the only way to walk properly in them is to be as camp as a row of tents and adopt an outrageously caricatured feminine sashay. 

Edited October 18, 2018 by Shyheels

[KneeBooted]

On 10/3/2018 at 10:58 AM, Rockpup said:

Soo... Drudge Report linked to a story about men wearing heels

https://www.thedailybeast.com/more-men-are-wearing-stilettosif-they-can-find-their-size

So I read through the article, and while I definitely like the article, the thing I can’t help but notice is the focus on stilettos. I don’t disagree the points made about stilettos being femme in society, but I think block heels and even wedges still suffer the gender stereotypes and “gawks” from people who aren’t used to men in heels in general. I have only just shed my concern for wedge shoes thanks to my Converse wedges, but I still am leery about wearing edge sandals or block heels in plain view. Maybe this upcoming flight home will allow me to push my envelope and shed my fear/apprehension.

[at9]

Like Shyheels, I was struck by "heels = gay" assumption. I have no real evidence to support this but I suspect that the fraction of gay men who wear heels is smaller than the fraction of straight men.

Some very crude methodology. If we use the common assumption that gay men are about 10% of all men then the fraction of gay men here at HHP seems lower than that.

[Shyheels]

I have several gay friends, none of whom wear heels. A couple of them live in one of the most heavily gay areas in Australia. I have spent plenty of time visiting them and while there I never saw (or noticed) anybody - either male or female - in heels. Heel wearing seemed very much below average. This heels=gay thing seems totally a cliché

[Jkrenzer]

Gay and heels are not mutually inclusive. Yes there are gay men who wear heels, but I'd bet the % of straight men who do and don't wear them but wished they did is no greater than the gay community. Key here is in the gay community there may be less reservations about actually wearing them so the numbers are skewed.

Expect the female population that actually want to wear heels is equivalent to the male population. You either enjoy the feel and look or you don't and I can't think of a less gender specific part of the human body than the foot. 

Society has just pushed us this way for no real reason, especially when you consider it was male aristocrats who first made heels a fashion over function item.

Edited October 18, 2018 by Jkrenzer
Typo

[Rockpup]

I have a few gay friends with a heel fetish, but I’m the only one I know who tries wearing them in public. 

[Pierre1961]

I now use to wear 5" block heels each time I am traveling. Totally noticeable or partly hidden by bootcut jeans. I never had any problem. Some  people for sure notice but no bad experience. 

I did the same once with thin stiletto Oxford shoes. It seems to me I got more reactions. But I haven't been worried at all 

the main thing remain : being confident and give no care to what others could think. Or in different words: I am straight and must accept to be consider as if I was gay. 

[Cali]

I usually wear my Madden Girl Motorcycle boots with 4 inch heels when I fly. I can run in them when I need to. Even though I am Clear they have too much metal on them (zipper and two buckles), so I have to take them off often.

Edited October 19, 2018 by Cali

[Gudulitooo]

13 hours ago, at9 said:

Like Shyheels, I was struck by "heels = gay" assumption.

Well were you, really? Usually, the assumption comes from the global one "not normal" = gay (meaning gay = something disgusting, the word is used to humiliate, not to describe objectively).

They just voice it and play with it.

13 hours ago, at9 said:

Some very crude methodology. If we use the common assumption that gay men are about 10% of all men then the fraction of gay men here at HHP seems lower than that.

You start the poll ?

I suppose 10% of men would be a giant market for shoe manufacturers. What a pity that gay men don't adhere to high heels !

14 hours ago, Shyheels said:

Entertaining in its way, and interesting bit with the history of heels, but again, as these things usually do, it heavily reinforces the idea that guys who wear heels must be gay and that the only way to walk properly in them is to be as camp as a row of tents and adopt an outrageously caricatured feminine sashay. 

I doubt guys not into heels are looking at these vids anyway. I had to specifically search for it.

Edited October 19, 2018 by Gudulitooo

[Shyheels]

If it's only guys into heels that look at those videos, they must have an extremely small viewership.

And how many guys who are into heels, who do view the videos, are going to relate to the over-the-top camp cavorting and sashaying and say to themselves: "Yup, that's me all right. I identify with that." Not many, I dare say.

And in this sense the use of "gay" as a descriptive seems clearly to refer to one's sexual orientation rather than just some vague pejorative.  

Edited October 19, 2018 by Shyheels

[Gudulitooo]

Exactly, guys into heels looking at the vids don't need to be told which sexual orientation they have, so the impact is low.

Well it looks likes "gay" for some is more a lifestyle than only a sexual orientation, in this sense it is not pejorative contrary to in the assumption "heels = gay".

I suppose the video is a form of commercial to market heels + queer fashion for a specific public. Some other articles (like the ones reported here) may be used to spark some questionning in this public, which will in turn do the specific search as if they were into heels.

It could also be a joke.

 

Edited October 19, 2018 by Gudulitooo

[KneeBooted]

6 hours ago, Cali said:

I usually wear my Madden Girl Motorcycle boots with 4 inch heels when I fly. I can run in them when I need to. Even though I am Clear they have too much metal on them (zipper and two buckles), so I have to take them off often.

Those set off the metal detector? Wow.

[Shyheels]

Almost anything can - it depends how sensitively they are set.

[bambam]

Here in West Hollywood, there are tons of gay men in heels, but they don't really care about societal norms, they just do it. 

[Bubba136]

You can't wear heels comfortably in public if you care anything about social norms.  That, my friends, is the limiting factor preventing a lot of guys from enjoying their heels out an about.

Edited October 19, 2018 by Bubba136

[Cali]

It goes for other things as well. I've been wearing women's shoes exclusively for almost 8 years now, high heels for 4 years. I've been coloring my toe nails for 8 years as well. If you going to expose your toe nails you need to take care of them. I get mine done professionally because my hands don't work that way anymore.

My latest has been fingernail polish. By the number of compliments I have been getting from men, it is clear that many men wish they could wear polish but they are stopping themselves.

Remember you are your worst enemy in this. When you allow yourselves to wear your heels in public, then you will be free.

[Bubba136]

And, the more often you do wear them in public the more quickly your anxiety will go away until , after a short time, you won’t even think about what is on your feet. 

[HappyinHeels]

I read the whole article and was waiting for some revelatory moment which never came. There was nothing new in this piece. It struck me as a piece written by a young metrosexual living in his urban bubble who is gay or certainly is influenced by the gay world. He seemingly has no idea of a section of the male population such as here at HHP who are not gay and do not live in large cities but nevertheless like high heels. One reading his article will still associate a man wearing heels with being gay. His fear that a company like F21 may introduce a line of stiletto heels for men at inflated prices as to look at such a chance to make money is laughable. How many here have noticed how much more expensive is when it is marketed for crossdressers or the like??  One could learn more by just reading what Cali or Bubba136 wrote above me than the journalistic piece under our review. As for NYC I once wore some Balenciaga sandals I had gotten at a steep discount because of a shipping defect and wore them in NYC during the daytime and at night with no staring or problems. I was not dressed in drag either. Plenty of confidence relegates the spectators' stares to a nonregistering event. Perhaps that is what he lacks. HappyinHeels

[Gudulitooo]

On 10/7/2018 at 7:43 AM, kneehighs said:

Great find. Thanks for sharing. 

I think it was a well written article, even bullish in some sentences.  

Which ones ?

[Gudulitooo]

2 hours ago, HappyinHeels said:

I read the whole article and was waiting for some revelatory moment which never came. There was nothing new in this piece. It struck me as a piece written by a young metrosexual living in his urban bubble who is gay or certainly is influenced by the gay world. He seemingly has no idea of a section of the male population such as here at HHP who are not gay and do not live in large cities but nevertheless like high heels. One reading his article will still associate a man wearing heels with being gay. His fear that a company like F21 may introduce a line of stiletto heels for men at inflated prices as to look at such a chance to make money is laughable. How many here have noticed how much more expensive is when it is marketed for crossdressers or the like??  One could learn more by just reading what Cali or Bubba136 wrote above me than the journalistic piece under our review. As for NYC I once wore some Balenciaga sandals I had gotten at a steep discount because of a shipping defect and wore them in NYC during the daytime and at night with no staring or problems. I was not dressed in drag either. Plenty of confidence relegates the spectators' stares to a nonregistering event. Perhaps that is what he lacks. HappyinHeels

The article in the Daily beast was written by a woman (https://www.instagram.com/alainademop/?hl=en) according to the website. She interviewed the young metrosexual you are speaking about. 

The title alone is enough "More Men Are Wearing Stilettos—if They Can Find Their Size".

The first picture is the problem, because the guy is not in a daily situation.

I don't know who is reading these articles. In my experience, I look at these only if either they appear on the MSN page that opens after I quit Outlook webmail, or they are reprinted in a general newspaper (such as Herald tribune, Le Monde, etc.), in the TV magazine, or at last in the doctor's waiting room (they are several years old usually). All in all it is very likely that I will only read the title and look at the pictures.

 

 

[SF]

Yesterday I was out running errands and wore a cotton short sleeve shirt, gals denim long pants and a pair of T-strap thongs with a chunky 2 inch heel.  No tank top, short shorts or wild colors or styles.  Just nice looking regular guys clothes, nothing like the pics in the article.  No one seemed to notice, but had I worn anything similar to the pics in the article, I can GURANTEE that someone would have noticed or commented.  It's all in how you present yourself.  Duh...  Some folks like to noticed (make a statement??) but I just like to wear heels.  You choose....   Have fun   sf

PS  I did send the Syro folks an email telling them that I am a guy who regularly wears high heels and thanked them for making larger sizes for guys while attempting to go mainstream.  To their credit, they actually responded back!!  nice....

[Shyheels]

Your money's as good as anybody else's!

[HappyinHeels]

Okay, it was written by a woman. I was incorrect on the author's sex but not on the uninformative content. The smart journalist has to understand that first visual says more than the next 1000 words. She chose a visual which led to a predictable conclusion. If the goal was to inform people that straight men like heels then she failed. HinH

[Shyheels]

27 minutes ago, HappyinHeels said:

Okay, it was written by a woman. I was incorrect on the author's sex but not on the uninformative content. The smart journalist has to understand that first visual says more than the next 1000 words. She chose a visual which led to a predictable conclusion. If the goal was to inform people that straight men like heels then she failed. HinH

She certainly did. Whether I'm a smart journalist or not may be open to debate but I am certainly experienced enough to know that visuals do indeed set the tone for the piece. And the tone there was all about gay men in heels, and confirming the widely held misconception.

[p1ng74]

Sounds about right for mainstream journalism.  The writer puts together perspectives from a limited segment of the people to support cliches that everyone wants to hear.  Unfortunately this is the lazy way and it does a disservice to both the people that fall into within the cliche and and the ones that are trying to deviate from them.  Thorough research to produce truly informative journalism is hard to find anymore, and we have to rely more on expanding personal relationships and conversations like we do here to get the real news.  

[Shyheels]

The standards of journalism have slid horrifically from when I started out in this game many years ago. Other than The New Yorker, I struggle to come up with any publication that still clings to old standards. Certainly the magazine to which I contributed for over twenty years has deteriorated markedly. Clicks and speed are really all that matters. Accuracy is nice if it happens, otherwise near enough is good enough. It is quite dispiriting.  

[Steve63130]

We can thank our deteriorated educational system for that. Kids today can't putt a sintenc togather and espresso themselfs in a clear whey.

Don't get me started on science and math.

Steve