Advice on public wearing

[Danvan1600]

Hi guys, would just like some advice on public wearing, have been told by my doctor that regular walking in heels will reduce my lower back pain as it will make me use muscles I don't use due to posture, and it works! Don't wake up during the night not being able to move anymore, the higher the better really, problem is I have to drive about 15 miles to go anywhere remote enough where I don't have the fear of being seen, I'm hopeless as far as having the bottle goes, even with long jeans in the dark I feel my walk is attracting attention, any info on how you guys started or get on with it would be much appreciated, Tia 

[Jkrenzer]

Honesty most of worked up to it. But we all pretty much just took a dive, realized it wasn't a big deal an then haven't stopped since. Good luck, however if you really are only wearing them because you have to and not because you want to then I think you'll struggle some.

[Danvan1600]

Thanks for the reply, that's the thing I do like to, have always had a heel fetish and when I was told that was happy about it! I knew when I was told I could go out and but some wedges that would do the same job but used it as an excuse for stilettos, my ex was fine with it round the house because it was for my health etc But we split up and now back with my parents, just can't get past the whole scarf over face and a big hat on etc so no one really knows I'm me, bonus of winter lol

[HappyinHeels]

Danvan1600,

You do not need the green light from a medical professional nor the approval of nameless and faceless strangers to wear the footwear of your choice as a man. You need only feel the warmth of confidence that burns deep inside anyone who yearns to be free. Free to express themselves via their clothes and shoes. I suspect the interest in heels predated any "medical" excuse to wear them although it may certainly add some convenient cover for you. Would your ex ever have needed a medical excuse to wear one of your dress shirts, your work boots, or your jeans as she worked outside in the garden? See my point? Most of us here have been interested in heels (and possibly other things from the "girl's side of the aisle) for the vast majority of our lives but it may have taken a while for it to manifest itself. Most people here will tell you, once you excoriate the self-placed demons from your head, the only thing stopping you from stepping outside is what you'll pair the heels with and where will you go today. Apart from your Amex card the one thing you NEVER want to leave home without is your confidence. Those that exude it make the world take notice and leave the naysayers in the dust. Your adventures, in heels, begin and end with your own imagination. You can discover a more enjoyable world if you make that world meet you on YOUR terms.  We all started somewhere and you will too. Keep your head up, eyes level, and heels always moving straight ahead!

HappyinHeels

[Gudulitooo]

You can use wedge booties or sneakers for discretion.

[hh4evr1]

Look for wider wedges (most wedges are narrow at the back of the shoe/boot. Rubber sole are quieter if you don't want people to hear the noise of the heels).

if anyone asks you can tell them the truth. They help allieviate your back problem/pain. 

[SF]

I wear high heels in public as much as possible.  You just have to get out and do it.  After a while it is really no big deal...  Have fun !!   I wish I had your doctor...  ha ha     

sf

[MackyHeels]

Do feel it's odd your doctor is recommending wearing heels. Usual exercise can build up weak muscles therefore avoiding any future back pain and problems.

As for living in fear, being seen wearing heels is valid and understandable emotion that plagues many of us beginners including myself. 

For one positive point, you already had the nerve to wear them out in public, be it on the outskirts of town only not being recognized. So your only problem is just that you attract unwanted attention which we all either don't like or can't handle wishing people not pointing their imagined plastic fingers specifically at you.

Often then not we as heelers or crossdressers whatever label you  want to call us, is to be left alone, not being stared upon only because how we appear.

 

Tips on how you can trick your mind on ignoring the feelings your having that everyone pauses staring as you walk on by.  

For me i had trouble wearing  woman skinny leggings jeans, female yoga/running tights, thongs on the beach/pool, bikini bottoms,  cutoff denim short shorts, thinking exact same as you did.

Thought to myself everyone is looking at me in my feminine yoga leggings, closely observing everyones demeanour and discussions  in close quarters at the gym. Thought i would faint making myself dizzy from all the reactions which i thought were increasing negative, being a pessimist at heart. Anyone laughing at a distance or sly smirk towards my direction i believed it was about my appearance and attire feeling angry at them and self conscious what i was wearing. Hated that feeling and made me physically nervous, shaking, uncomfortable, head down trying to ignore everyones reactions knowing the negativity it invoked wearing tights at a public gym even though no other male wore them that i ever seen or seldom a woman (the time was when woman beginning wearing bootcut yoga pants from the styles of short shorts or thong leotards).

Only thing that got me through the initial fears was first wearing them with low traffic gyms where i could not be seen by any people or sometimes handful of strangers. As my confidence grew i began to observe that others (females) wearing exact same leggings at the gym didn't look as good as i did wearing them. So i began to spread my wings going to more crowded gyms invoking reactions that i already heard before, only now laughing at the same tiring negative comments. 

 

Rarely or ever did anyone compliment my leggings at the gym. What gave me confidence was walking outside around a glass wall yoga studio where twenty woman were doing studio session. The female instructor yelled out to her class "take a look ladies outside for some motivation", then heard hoots hollering and giggles directed upon me. After that i began to adjust my level of acceptance wearing tights not only as standard appropriate workout attire but woman's feelings of delight, lust, envy. So i began my journey to do precisely that, trying to envoke lust desire from woman thus acceptance what i wore became mute.

  Only after many years i had older married female instructor who i seen for a long time speak out about my appearance. Thinking to myself all these years she found me vulgar and disgusting thus never talking. Just say she was envious and very complimentary of my attire and physique impressed is understatement on her reaction. Even when i wore feminine colors such as bright neon pink she gave me thumbs up complimenting my choice of tank tops to wear. While still others laughed spitting up seeing me attire exactly the same thing.
 

My advice is to keep wearing it over and over, until you, or others seeing you, begin to tire staring. The more you wear it the easier it becomes, goes with a lot of things being a nudist, wearing leggings, thonging etc...

 

While i wish i can take my own advice on wearing heels as well in public. Do have the desire to wear actual opaque black pantyhose tights with five inch heels so gives me a cleaner look then leggings or jeggings with not baggy ankles with mid heel three inch booties. 

 

 

 

 

 

[Rockpup]

Wedges or thick block heels. Most people will not notice. Keep the sexy heels for time at home if you are worried. 

[Danvan1600]

Thanks for all the very helpful replies everyone many have given me a lot of things to consider and been a great help 

[Steve63130]

All good advice here. I wear thicker heels in the range of 3 to 3.5 inches high out in public all the time, like the heels below. I walk proudly and naturally and (I hope) gracefully, so that I look like I BELONG in heels. I don't attract attention wearing shoes with bling or contrasting colors - I stay conservative - but I do get compliments from several gal pals (shoe sisters, as I call them). And I get MORE comments when I DON'T wear heels now!

Just do it. It's tough the first time, and you'll be nervous. We all are/were. But it gets easier each time and pretty soon you'll wonder what the fuss was about. You'll even start to be disappointed that nobody notices or comments!

Steve

[subtle]

I went out for the first time yesterday, it's such a weird feeling but once you're out there's no running away really odd feeling. I got a pair of towsley by nine west they aren't high nor stand out but they would require someone to really be looking to notice. 

[SF]

Subtle.....   Out in public - Good for you!!!   A bit scary at first and I can relate to the "odd feeling" once you commit and can't "run away."  We have all been there.  The only way to overcome your hesitation is to just get out there - like you did.  Hope you enjoyed the time.  

I looked at your Towsley shoes at the Nine West site.  They look really nice.  Do they have a hidden wedge heel?  If so how high?  Hard to tell by looking at them.  

I see that you are in CA - me too.  Never seen another guy out in heels.  You would think that with all the people in this state one would see at least one other guy in heels.  I have seen a lot of other types of dress / undress here but NEVER a guy in heels.  Take care...  have fun....   sf

[subtle]

1 hour ago, SF said:

I looked at your Towsley shoes at the Nine West site.  They look really nice.  Do they have a hidden wedge heel?  If so how high?  Hard to tell by looking at them. 

1.5 but the platform is a lot low so you can feel the small amount of lift you get.

Anyway babysteps, these are just to get used to, not sure anyone will notice but they still make me a little nervous.

I would've expected to see more of it here in the bay.

[hhboots]

On ‎1‎/‎6‎/‎2016 at 11:38 AM, MackyHeels said:

Do feel it's odd your doctor is recommending wearing heels.

^ This ^ ...  My first thoughts exactly    hmmm

Anyway, as a few others have said, plain black wedge boots or chunky/thick block heel shoes with bootcut jeans, absolutely the way to go when first starting out in public to build up confidence.  I mean if all you really require is the incline of the shoe to help your back out, there's no need to go out in sexy glamour heels or stripper platform heels or anything even remotely close to either of those 

[Pumped]

There are various manufacturers that make boots similar to these,

http://www.dsw.com/shoe/diba+pilot+bootie?prodId=335741

They have a 2 3/4" inch heel and are fairly generic style. I have a similar pair with a taller upper that I wear often and have had only one person comment on them. A friend commented in my "granny boots" and I told him he should get a pair. He has never mentioned them again.

[Bigfoot15]

I've been going out for a short time now. It's does get easier but still fun and exciting. Practice at home and wear heels that are not flashy and you will notice that very few people ever notice or even really care what you are wearing. My first time out I kept looking around to see peoples reaction. I was amazed that the one or two that noticed my footwear actually smiled with approval. Don't let other peoples narrow minded views keep you for going out. Good luck and keep us posted on how it goes.

[robbiehhw]

On 1/24/2016 at 11:10 AM, Pumped said:

There are various manufacturers that make boots similar to these,

http://www.dsw.com/shoe/diba+pilot+bootie?prodId=335741

They have a 2 3/4" inch heel and are fairly generic style. I have a similar pair with a taller upper that I wear often and have had only one person comment on them. A friend commented in my "granny boots" and I told him he should get a pair. He has never mentioned them again.

I have those exact boots in black. 

[vector]

Danvan 1600,

One thing that I haven't see, and may have missed, is how to hide these shoes.  I've found that a pair of boot cut jeans about 4" longer than your regular inseam length will hide most heels, up to 4 or 5 inches.  If the pants are too long and you end up stepping on them, just fold them up.  They should hide just about the whole shoe when you walk and make all of the round and square toe shoes look and seem manly.  it will even hide many of the pointy toe pumps.  That is unless it's a long pointy toe.  

[Puffer]

On 1/6/2016 at 0:16 AM, Danvan1600 said:

Hi guys, would just like some advice on public wearing, have been told by my doctor that regular walking in heels will reduce my lower back pain as it will make me use muscles I don't use due to posture, and it works! Don't wake up during the night not being able to move anymore, the higher the better really, problem is I have to drive about 15 miles to go anywhere remote enough where I don't have the fear of being seen, I'm hopeless as far as having the bottle goes, even with long jeans in the dark I feel my walk is attracting attention, any info on how you guys started or get on with it would be much appreciated, Tia 

Sorry for the very belated response but, for what it's worth, I can say that I wear the boots in my avatar (2.75" heel) outside quite regularly in my local area and with the heel nearly all visible (but the shaft covered).   I have no problems with this and, as I have had some back problems, I do find that wearing high heels gives some relief. 

As a matter of interest, how did your doctor broach the subject of you wearing heels as a man?   Was it a direct and serious suggestion or emerge from conversation, perhaps prompted by you?   I ask because I knew a bloke who had a back problem and his doctor said: 'If you were a woman, I'd be recommending that you wore the highest heels you could manage to settle your spinal alignment'.   As my friend was not interested in wearing heels, he laughed at the idea and said he would give it a miss - but I've often wondered wehat would have happened if he had pursued it anyway.

[chrism]

I am normally silent, but perhaps I'll just chime in here as a "just do it" voice.

I wear high heels every day.  Nobody cares.  I normally choose a block heel, but I do occasionally wear stilettos.  In warm weather i choose open toes or strappy sandals, usually with about a 2" heel.

My point is: Nobody cares.  I had a few comments when I started this job, but now a year later nothing.  They're just shoes, eh?

Perhaps my situation is unique.  Perhaps my colleagues are more tolerant than most.  But try it, you might be pleasantly surprised.

[Thighbootguy]

1 hour ago, chrism said:

I am normally silent, but perhaps I'll just chime in here as a "just do it" voice.

@chrism please chime in more often.  To what king of job do you wear heels?

To the question:

At home I have to do some lifting that is critical so I wear flats most of the time, but whenever I go out I wear boots, ankle to thigh high with 2-5" block or stiletto heels with jeans or leggings.  As chrism says, "No one cares."  I'm retired now but for many years I wore boots with 2-3" block heels under my slacks in an office environment.  No one noticed/cared. 

Wearing heels should be an enjoyable experience.  If you are going to worry about what other are thinking you wont enjoy the outing.  Have confidence in the look you present and then go for it.  People really don't care.

[Steve63130]

Chrism, you are right and you have good advice. Don't be so silent. The more people who chat here, the more interesting this place is. I wear heels everyday, too. Block or tapered heels, but not stiletto. Sandals, pumps, boots and clogs/mules.

Steve

[HappyinHeels]

chrism,

Steve63130 has a good point. Chatting via the post does add to the site. Even with your correct observation nobody cares the more other members see that the more likely they are to actually change their outlook and inevitably higher goes the confidence. Many of us suspected the world was too busy to notice or care but the more members post as much the more enriching the experience for all of us on this forum.HappyinHeels

[spikesmike]

Danvan1600

I have had three (3) wives. Each one had different views about my high heel interest. My third wife was the most open minded. A lot of times woman feel that men who

wear high heels are with them ( the woman) because they (the men) do not want to be accused of being GAY. In my case , I am NOT gay. Since our divorce ( #3) I

wear high heel stilettos ( every day, all day long ) more than when I was married. It has been ages since any one has made a negative comment to me about my shoes.

I know Steve63130. You can ask him if I try to hide the shoes I wear of 7 1/2' heels w/ 1 1/2"plats. You must take steps to enjoy what you love.

spikesmike

[Steve63130]

Hi, Mike,

Yes, I'll vouch for you. Nice to see you posting again.

Mike and I have met on a few occasions and he has no fear of wearing stiletto boots in public. He has an awesome collection of classic styles in his walk-in closet, which I've been privileged to see.

Steve

[chrism]

Thank you for the kind welcome.  With regard to the facts, I am a university professor (Engineering.)

This week I wore my stilettos much of the week.  They are Pleasers in a size 13 and they fit very nicely and are very comfortable.  I found them in a freecycle bin in New Orleans, and they were almost fetish wear due to the height of the heel.  But a visit to the machine shop reduced the heel to about 2-3 inches and a very comfortable stride for me.

My #1 daughter seems to quite enjoy buying heels for Dad, so I receive a pair of Nine Wests or similar on each holiday or birthday.  She has excellent taste and I quite look forward to her choices.  Unfortunately the Christmas blue ones were too small and we have not yet replaced them...nice to have a present "banked and waiting!"

My favorite shoes are a pair of block heel wing tips from Payless.  My colleagues when I started wearing them at school refer to them as my Flamenco dancer shoes - <smile>

 

All the best to all hands,

Chris

 

[HappyinHeels]

chrism,

I have also met spikemike as he attended a gathering we had at a Chicago restaurant on 2 March 2013 and was seated right next to me. He was wearing some snappy boots with 4-5" heels as were the other attendees...except me. I was wearing my Jessica Simpson "Carlow" platform sandals with a nearly 7"/20cm stiletto heel. If there is no snow around I'll always try sandals. My point is enjoy wearing your heels and try not to hide them. You'll simply feel better!  HappyinHeels

[krazykev64]

Hi Danvan.  Like you i have found that wearing heels cures my back pain.  the secret to overcoming the shyness to go public is just do it. first thing to do is buy some new jeans with leg lengths a few inches longer to allow for the high heel.

Pick a boot or shoe with a block heel avoiding pairs with frilly girly parts.  you want a plain looking pair that are not easily noticed.

below is a pic of my boots that have a 2.75 inch heel.  To be honest i dont think anybody even notices i am wearing heels.

the problem comes during summer months when it is warm.  it might be a good idea to invest in a pair of peeptoe boots like the picture below again avoiding girly looking pairs. 

[Rick24]

99 percent of the negativity is in are minds, nobody cares if you are wearing stiletto heels in public, you are better wearing in public, rather than wearing them at home, you are in a good position my friend Danvan, because you are single, and that means you will heel more in public, living a double life will not make anything better, and you will get loads of female attention that you would never get when wearing flats, and many women would appreciate the fact that you are very secure about wearing heels in public, so danvan take the opportunity now rather than later, because many heel wearing men took that path far to late, and many regretted it, my regret was not wearing when I was 18, so life is too short to worry what others think, so danvan, just do it.