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robbiehhw last won the day on June 1 2016

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  1. Sandal, slides, mules and converse season is coming
  2. What you wear is an extension and presentation of yourself. I have a friend that likes to wear pokemon stocking caps complete with ears etc. Do people look at him because of it? yep...he doesn't care and probably likes it a bit at times. Nothing tells us we have to fit in any norm of gender presentation, you can dress slightly feminine, slightly masculine or change it up every day. Nobody will stop you and it is your right.
  3. Tell her matter of factly. Don't make it a big "coming out" thing or she may think you keeping it from her is some hidden dark area of your life which it is not. Perhaps a simple acknowledgement that you were afraid to tell her for silly reasons would also put her at ease. Part of being in a relationship with people is we get to continue to learn about one another the entire time we are together. Its like Christmas morning but ongoing and more often.
  4. This is a neat thread to see everyone's motivations and how things started. The human mind is a splendid thing. When i first started to try on and then buy women's shoes it was to feel more feminine and from that feeling comes a "centered" feeling that i later learned was me dealing in the right way with gender dysphoria. It never excited me in any sort of intimate or fetish way. Learning to walk in higher heels to me seemed elegant and it forced me to adopt a more girlish walk as well. Lots of men have attraction to feet, so it would make sense that footwear fits into that also. I never saw feet as anything more than another lovely part of the wondrous human body, worthy of massage or a kiss or two (men and women included) but nothing more than that. To some people footwear, stockings and just clothes in general seem to stimulate a sort of primal area of the brain that generates pretty intense feelings. Totally interesting.
  5. I think it is fine to make a suggestion such as that based on the nature of the interaction. You are not telling her how to parent simply making a suggestion about clothing and maybe gender expression, which for his generation is going to be much more fluid than the previous one. Sometimes those types of conversations are just a way to find commonality and make small talk, something us humans need for socialization. Some years ago i was buying underwear at a store like Aerie and it was pretty quiet there. One of the women sales assistants at checkout said to me " my son likes to run around in my bras, so i am expecting that he will start doing the same with panties any time now " i replied well he is a risk taker and pretty independent it sounds like to which she replied " yeah that one is our child that marches to the tune of his own band" and "that is pretty cool, i like that he wants this stuff" Simple interaction with positive commonality. Bye the way i saw a young trans or gender fluid person the other day and i said to him/her " love those boots" and he/she smiled from ear to ear. Make peoples days it is so worth it.
  6. Back in the day when i dressed more androgynous, people looked quizzically at my shoes/boots all the time. In the summer in sandals they looked at the color on my toes too. Was this a guy? yes? why is he wearing women's shoes? are those women's shoes? Is he one of those people? (queue whatever prejudice they could mentally come up with quickly). Rarely did anyone ever say anything. The only negative responses were a mean looks. Usually i just smiled at them. Positive responses included things like "nice boots" etc. One time in mid summer i was traveling from the Salt Lake City airport home and going through security i was wearing women's jeans, women's sandals and a man's t-shirt. The sandals had to go on the belt and while i am in the queue for the scanner, the lady next to me nudged her friend and pointed at my very light blue painted toes. I caught her doing that and smiled to which she replied " that is really awesome" i said thanks and she asked, " is that a canary blue color? " i was like...yes i think so and i think i told her Revlon 904 or something like that and we chatted a bit more. Once people get use to seeing people dress a bit non-mainstream they are actually pretty nice about it.
  7. I get that the "battle of the sexes" thing makes for interesting banter but i dunno about you but i tend not to generalize about an entire gender of people because people are so very different and diverse. Male privilege exists in various degrees and and situations and in many instances guys don't even know they are experiencing it. I think one of those areas is in overgeneralization about women, not all men do this of course, heck many men are feminists in their own right, but many do. Maybe there should be no talk of " women's lib or emancipation" except in history studies and in the work that is yet to be done, because it is so abhorrent that we ever needed such things. We should talk about in the same vein with slavery. Complete equality should exist and it should have always existed. As for Gay/bisexual/transgender etc rights - entirely different set of abhorrent history, but no less a moral issue. So yeah you can be individually critical about some women or some gay people and their behavior, we all are but to ask for the right to be critical of the movements in general is sort of like saying " you know slavery wasn't all bad, can't we discuss this? " No we really can't. As for women in the guy's forum well that is up to the mods. I sort of wish for instance that i could have chosen F for my gender - the question was about your gender (or sex maybe i don't recall in detail) at birth, and now we are getting into hair splitting. But, that is the right of those that run the forum. Their governance is what we all abide by.
  8. Cute flats!
  9. A lot of women in general do not dress in their personal style to please men, but to look good to themselves in the mirror. Love yourself first and it makes someone else loving you much easier. Nevertheless, Good luck on your pumps mission!
  10. A good thing to understand is how fashion has changed across age demographics. As we know, there was a time when fairly "formal" wear like heels, skirts, dresses etc along with their accompanying accessories would be worn to an everyday office job, to school, and shopping. Men even wore a jacket with tie to the movies and on planes etc. It was considered very casual to wear a sports jacket and no tie. T-shirts? those were meant for the beach, gym or working in your yard. This helped reinforce fairly rigid gender norms, traditions and a hierarchy of status. ("Jim must be poor, he only owns one suit and only changes the tie every day") Then things fairly rapidly became less formal. Young women today do dress up and have dressy clothing like heels, but they tend to wear that stuff for special occasions or sometimes when going out in the evenings to events etc. Just had a morning session with my therapist and she was dressed pretty nicely. Nice sweater with a mock t underneath, shorter skirt, tights and tall boots with high heels. She is no more than 30 yrs old. So in a sense the drive for less formal dress was partially driven by the rush to cultural equality. That is a good thing and i actually like the less formal times. Wearing jeans and a t-shirt with sandals to the office - very comfy.
  11. Great outfit and great outing. Love going to the mall. I will also add that i think with that length skirt, short booties would be the only good boot choice. Still, very nice boots too!
  12. The assumption made about the right is correct based on the massive weight of evidence and their track record of opposing equality legislation, silly bathroom bills and talk of "religious liberty" to name just a few and there are many more. Their record on opposing our rights goes way back. Your experiences in "liberal" areas are certainly valid, but i will say much different than mine. I live in Oregon, except for the rural east part of the state, intolerance is pretty rare. I've traveled in many areas the UK, France, Russia, Japan and many more and i invariably urban areas to be pretty accepting. The exceptions to this were where you would expect, Africa and the middle east. Despite the bump in the road of the current admin, i suspect a lot of good will come from this as well. Organizations, activism etc Gender Variance, being outside of the norm in many ways including dress has a bright cultural future.
  13. Never been refused anywhere. That sort of treatment could get you a successful lawsuit in many US States.
  14. Long ago, this was probably about 1991 i was working a job that required me to visit residential construction sites pretty regularity. To protect myself from the mud, i did not want to wear my decent snow boots because and they were too hot anyways. I had no work boots even though some steel toe protection would have likely been wise. Instead, i found a pair of women's rain boots on sale, plain black but shiny and the lining was leopard skin if i am remembering correctly and i thought "oh bonus they are girl's too" . I would put on/remove the muddy boots will sitting on the back of my jeep at the time. Well i wore them for pretty much a year and nobody (to my face anyways, i don't care about anything else) ever negatively commented me on them. Curiously one man actually said " I had a pair like those but i burned through them pretty quickly, you should get these". I'm positive they were recognized as women's.
  15. Yes no argument that the rural urban divide is huge, but there are far far fewer people out there than in the cities and on the coasts. Electoral College notwithstanding, this bodes pretty well for the political future but also the acceptance of alternative identities and even things like non-mainstream dressing.