Puffer Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 Well done, benno! But, to put things in perspective (and inspire others), please describe your 'outdoor' shoes and the rest of your outfit. As others have so often said, the co-ordinated look may be the key to acceptance, if not also to compliments.
benno Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 Well done, benno! But, to put things in perspective (and inspire others), please describe your 'outdoor' shoes and the rest of your outfit. As others have so often said, the co-ordinated look may be the key to acceptance, if not also to compliments. There's a description of the kind of outfit from a previous post I made, below in purple. To be honest. I think if I had been wearing some more daring shoes (that went with the outfit) I would have had the same reception. I have quite a lot of confidence and belief in my ability to dress well and I can allow people to relax and even gently take the piss out of me. Once they see that I am not a sexual deviant, have lots of good friends and a mega amazing, 6 foot, blonde, ex model, girlfriend, then there just simply are no issues. I've been wearing close to 4 inch, black, slightly shiny, stacked cuban heeled, womens brogues recently. I have worn them with skinny jeans (grey and also bright red). Stripey vintage women's/unisex t shirts and either old fashioned cardigans or loose jersey womens jackets and maybe my old trusted camo army jacket and a cool vintage trucker's cap and a bright or black scarf or snood. I have found that you don't need to hide your heels. Have them on display. It feels great.
StarCrossed Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 It's incredible that so many poll voters don't realize how much women hate the concept of men wearing high heels or any thing else considered in the "women's" domain. It's either wishful thinking or an effort to not disappoint men heel wearers with the truth that women really don't want men to wear heels. Men ought to wear whatever we like and not just what we are "supposed" to wear. Women dress for themselves, and to impress other women, not men
HappyinHeels Posted November 5, 2011 Posted November 5, 2011 StarCrossed, I suspect you're right about many women hating the concept of men wearing what they consider is in "their domain" but I'd say I hate the idea of a double standard. For some women, the gender that fought for equality all those years and all over the world, to now say they hate men dressing in their things is intellectually inconsistent or, as William F. Buckley would put it, presents a "demogogic juxtaposition." None of the these hypocritical wardrobe critics pays my bills nor am I sleeping with any of them so why would I care what they think? They didn't seek my approval before adopting tattoos, or wearing men's trousers, shirts, or combat boots now did they? They just took what they wanted and made it their own. The pressure women feel comes exactly from what you said in that they dress to impress other women, not men. An American actress from the 1970's show "Police Woman", Angie Dickinson, had AMAZING legs and was once quoted as saying "women dress for other women but they undress for men." This would seem to say it all! HappyinHeels:wave:
Marvinheels Posted November 13, 2011 Posted November 13, 2011 honestly this subject is seriously getting old, it seems like it is bought up on here every other day or so. i am a man i wear high heels, do i care that some women don't like it, no i don't, i am still going to do it. there are some women that are ok with it, even some women that are turned on by it. it's life. we all have different turn ons and likes, accept that and move on.
gary0618 Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 The following is in this girls own words. From Chictopia.com "Some people ask me about how can i wear heels all day long. i vividly remember about my first heels. but i know that i love heels since I’m a little girl. i used to walk around the house wearing my mum’s shoes. I always wearing mary jane shoes during my high school period therefore i must bring spare shoes for sport all the time. i often forgot to bring sneakers and have to borrow shoes from my friend. During my college time, i still cannot let go my love for high heels. i studied at monash which is located in suburb and i live in the city. I’ve got to run with heels to catch the train. I used to bring band aid or sometimes spare shoes. but now, i don’t need to bring any band aid or spare shoes since i work in a office and i can take off my shoes behind my desk. also my hubby is not that tall so i usually wear flat shoes when i go out with him. I guess fashion means suffer and you are willing to suffer for it. and don’t forget that heels also help to burn calories , tighten your muscle, and the most important thing is that it helps to make you look taller LoL. Spread your love for heels!! and i wish one day they will make heels from man as well LoL (or maybe hidden heels)." http://www.chictopia.com/photo/show/119199-heels+or+no+heels-mng-top-river-island-jeans-celine-shoes FLAT SHOES, LIKE FLAT DRINKS, ARE FOR FLAT PEOPLE
love heels Posted November 20, 2011 Posted November 20, 2011 In another post, I stated that I spent Tuesday evening in my new sandals. I was seated in the lounge at the Hilton Hotel at a table by myself. The table next to me was a group of Church Ladies, as described by the Waitress, and they immediately involved me into their conversations. My heels were very visible and I saw everyone of the 7 ladies look at them; yet they chose to involve me in their evening. NO QUESTIONS ASKED. Henri I would like to know where you got those shoes. They are absolutely gorgeous.
scrappycoco Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 honestly this subject is seriously getting old, it seems like it is bought up on here every other day or so. i am a man i wear high heels, do i care that some women don't like it, no i don't, i am still going to do it. there are some women that are ok with it, even some women that are turned on by it. it's life. we all have different turn ons and likes, accept that and move on. I love this response. There are just people that are not going to like you no matter what. We can not change what people think or say about you the only thing we can do is be happy with are selfs.
JeffB Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 honestly this subject is seriously getting old, it seems like it is bought up on here every other day or so. i am a man i wear high heels, do i care that some women don't like it, no i don't, i am still going to do it. there are some women that are ok with it, even some women that are turned on by it. it's life. we all have different turn ons and likes, accept that and move on. Well said! Well said! It all depends on the woman and her mindset. I've had women compliment me on my shoes and marvel at how well I can walk in heels, some say I walk in them better than they do! And black women love my thigh boots since I've gotten my fair share of compliments on them, something i find extremely cool. I don't want to LOOK like a woman, I just want to DRESS like a woman!
Charlie Posted December 23, 2011 Posted December 23, 2011 Women like men who like themselves. They like men who have the guts to think and act for themselves, regardless of what area in life that belief manifests itself. The trouble is so many of us are plagued with feelings of low self-esteem we rarely have the guts to search for, let alone live, what our real "selves" stand for. Once I realized my being was made in the image of God (no I am NOT a Christian but I believe in creation), my self-esteem skyrocketed. I look at the Grand Canyon, the stars, the sand, the clouds and stare in amazement at the infinite power displayed. And then I think "I may not have created myself, but my essence, my body, my thoughts, my feelings, is sure as hell worth as much as the Grand Canyon, the sun, the moon and stars combined." I am self-aware, they are not. I have free choice, they don't. etc. And in the midst of dazzling array of beauty, I find an unshakeable sense of intrinsic value that no extrinsic factor can ever shake. Again, I did not create myself, so this is not arrogance. It's just acknowledging my own value independent of wealth, status, humor, or any type of performance. And from this belief in the beauty of my own thoughts I have the confidence base from which to pursue my dreams and goals. And this type of confidence is remarkably attractive to women. I can inspire them to chase their goals they never even knew they had. The bottom line is that heels do not make the man, the man makes the heels. If you are sure of your value as a person regardless of your performance in life, you will eventually wind up being successful in any endeavor you undertake--heeling included. p.s. for what it's worth, just last week I had breakfast in Krakow, lunch in Prague, and dinner in Amseterdam in one day. It was exhilirating. I have no job, I work when I want, where I want, with who I want and work an average of 4 hours a day (max). I have designed my ultimate lifestyle of freedom, financial abundance, and emotional success. I don't do it for accolades from others, I do it for myself, b/c it makes me feel in control of my own life--not other's lives. Please tell us more about how you manage to work when you want and only work 4 hours a day max! I have the self-worth part down very well and am hardly ever seen in public with heels under 4", but would love to cut back my working hours! I'm serious here. Charlie Everything I say is a lie!.......I'm lying
Majo Posted December 24, 2011 Posted December 24, 2011 Women like men who like themselves. They like men who have the guts to think and act for themselves, regardless of what area in life that belief manifests itself. I second 100% that statement.
Bassheels Posted January 4, 2012 Posted January 4, 2012 A sociologist friend of mine (female) did a study about gender attitudes & fashion a few years back. She made an interesting point that the percentage of men who don't women in heels is about the same here as the percentage of women who don't like men in heels. I've met female heel wearers who don't like men in heels, but no male heel wearers who don't like women in heels.
Puffer Posted January 4, 2012 Posted January 4, 2012 A sociologist friend of mine (female) did a study about gender attitudes & fashion a few years back. She made an interesting point that the percentage of men who don't women in heels is about the same here as the percentage of women who don't like men in heels. I've met female heel wearers who don't like men in heels, but no male heel wearers who don't like women in heels. I think you meant to quote the sociologist as saying that 'the percentage of men who don't like women in heels is about the same as the percentage of women who don't like men in heels'. Is that right? But, regardless, your second statement does not follow from the first. There is really no correlation between the proportion of the female population that likes a man wearing heels (an unusual and possibly unsettling situation) and the proportion of the male population that likes a woman wearing heels (a red-blooded reaction to a commonplace and unremarkable situation).
Jamie G Posted January 4, 2012 Posted January 4, 2012 I honestly don't understand what the big deal is about men wearing high heels. Does society ever ask the question-- "Women who wear jeans and tennis shoes, are they gay or what?"---------NO!----------- Does a shoe not boil down to some fabric and materals? Then it is we, society, who places the importance on who should wear what. Which IMHO is just wrong! Should I get upset if my wife wears white socks and tennis shoes with jeans when she gets dressed for the day? No! But yet that type of dress was mainly reserved for men. So when it comes down to it women crossdress more often than men do and no one gives it a second thought.
JeffB Posted January 6, 2012 Posted January 6, 2012 Jamie: I couldn't agree with you more. Problem is, society has, for the last three generations or so has been conditioned into believing that only women wear high heels and it's odd for men to sport them. Breaking through that ingrained conditioning is the difficult part of the equation for us as freestylers. I don't want to LOOK like a woman, I just want to DRESS like a woman!
Rick24 Posted February 27, 2012 Posted February 27, 2012 I have less of a care if a woman like's me in heels or not, i wear what i want and don't need there permission, if i was wearing 5inch boots in a cafe and a women giving me a rude look on her face, i would shout what are you looking at. And tell her to get on her bike.
Gudulitooo Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 Jamie, Rick24, maybe it is less evident for married men, but for all other guys in the world, being attractive to women is the point of their life. More or less depending the individual. Sometimes belonging to a group is even more important. But still, being attractive to women is of foremost importance. That said, reality teaches that being comfortable with oneself is the true way towards success in society and with women - given that you follow a bunch of social rules. A number of guys here feel comfortable in wearing heels, or at least would be if they thought they could. Hence the question : does wearing heels prevent men, in fact, not in theory, from being appreciated by women ? Or, you can ask it differently, taking into account that a relationship involves 2 persons, thus women's "innate" opinion may matter in the result : is a man's self confidence enough to overcome women preconceptions ? (a question for Kneehighs)
Roxyinheels Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 Jamie, Rick24, maybe it is less evident for married men, but for all other guys in the world, being attractive to women is the point of their life. More or less depending the individual. Sometimes belonging to a group is even more important. But still, being attractive to women is of foremost importance. So true Elegance is my second name
Gudulitooo Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 Thanks for the extensive return of experience, Kneehighs. I also wanted to shade what I previously said : though being appreciated from women is important for most men, it is not necessary that all women appreciate. Most of the time (except in Kneehighs case ), only one appreciating woman is hopefully enough !
Bubba136 Posted February 29, 2012 Posted February 29, 2012 kH! It's a shame you can't bottle and sell you'r attitude and priniciples, you woundn't ever have to pay income tax again. You'd be so wealthy, you would be able to call the government and ask them how much they needed. (;- Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public.
crotchboots-m Posted February 29, 2012 Posted February 29, 2012 all u need is to find one that likes you and your heels. who cares what the rest of them think?
Gudulitooo Posted February 29, 2012 Posted February 29, 2012 all u need is to find one that likes you and your heels. who cares what the rest of them think? The rest of them may (try to) have a bad influence on her.
Foxyheels Posted March 1, 2012 Posted March 1, 2012 The rest of them may (try to) have a bad influence on her. But she may put the rest of them right. High heels are the shoes I choose to put on, respect my choice as I repect yours.
Gudulitooo Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 But she may put the rest of them right. I just read this thread with Kneehighs' link. It seems very unstable and double sided.
iloveboots Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 and, if any members had been with the twelve of us who just enjoyed the NYC Heel/Boot Meet you would have seen first hand the acceptance and support from women & men for our enjoyment of wearing heels. SpikesMike, Hoverfly, CrotchhiBoots, Goldwings, Booted and I certainly felt support while standing outside Nordstroms Rack Store at Union Sq in NY on Saturday. At Club Blu on friday night, the ladies who came over to the group of us to discuss heels and how they enjoyed seeing us in our heels, were certainly supportive. The NYC Meet was a great example of confident men out in heels as a group breaking down the barriers and having fun doing what we enjoy! Do girls like guys in heels? I think that's the wrong question. Can girls like guys who also wear heels? That's DEFINITELY the valid question. Now that my attraction skills have improved, I'm surprised how many girls I can pull in, regardless of my heels. It's not a question of do they like guys in heels, but can they like guys regardless of their heels? Tonight I had a cab driver in Paris stop the car and threaten to kick me and my "model" (read 5'10" who said she thought my heels were cool) out of the car because we were being too sexual for his cab! I couldn't believe it. She asked him if he was jealous. As an off note, I saw some guy today in Paris wearing shorts and tights and open toe sandal heels with a moderate cone heel. He garnered one wolf whistle. I can't honestly say that he looked fashionable, but I also can't say that anyone really cared either what he was wearing. This goes back to people care more about what's going on in between their own ears than they do their outer world. In other words, among the people I was with, his attire didn't create any room for additional conversation. His appearance was noted and immediately discarded. Again, for those guys who are single, wearing heels DOES NOT hurt your chances with girls. In fact, the initial intrigue pumps up their buying temperature temporarily and if you know how to channel that increased state in the girl, it really works in your favor. That goes for pumps as well as boots. It also seems that the magic words, "I'm not looking for a relationship" just serve to increase their desire for a relationship with me. Sigh...I think time to settle down will be coming soon. Time to bulid a future with one girl.... "Dress For Your Own Pleasure"
Shafted Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 It also seems that the magic words, "I'm not looking for a relationship" just serve to increase their desire for a relationship with me. Oooh... That explains it. I used almost those exact words. Shafted, the boots that is! View my gallery here http://www.hhplace.o...afteds-gallery/ or view my heeling thread here http://www.hhplace.org/topic/3850-new-pair-of-boots-starts-me-serious-street-heeling/ - Pm me if you want fashion advice or just need someone to talk to.
Gudulitooo Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 But she may put the rest of them right. Yes and she may need strong arguments. the initial intrigue pumps up their buying temperature temporarily and if you know how to channel that increased state in the girl, it really works in your favor. Right but if you don't take the opportunity then it falls flat, isn't it ? It seems that if you are not in the mainstream, then you have to "justify" this being up to the initial claim... What if one only wants to be normal, enjoy his heels, and still be attractive to women ?
Pumps Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 Again, for those guys who are single, wearing heels DOES NOT hurt your chances with girls. Sorry but I just don't buy that. It's a case of being "bigger than your shoes" and not everybody can pull that off. If you riding on a wave of confidence, then it's probably true, but if you're an introverted and awkward guy like me (and I'm not the only one here) then you'd have a hard time finding that girl that won't dismiss you as a weirdo. I'd love it if you were right, but I just don't think so.
Shafted Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 Sorry but I just don't buy that. It's a case of being "bigger than your shoes" and not everybody can pull that off. If you riding on a wave of confidence, then it's probably true, but if you're an introverted and awkward guy like me (and I'm not the only one here) then you'd have a hard time finding that girl that won't dismiss you as a weirdo. I'd love it if you were right, but I just don't think so. I really understand where you're coming from Pumps. I used to be that introverted awkward guy too, never quite fitting in but at the time not knowing why. I'm a completely different person now than I was then, a better and more likable one with a load of friends. It came to a point where I had to change if I was ever going to be truly happy. People can change, Pumps. I'm living proof. Shafted, the boots that is! View my gallery here http://www.hhplace.o...afteds-gallery/ or view my heeling thread here http://www.hhplace.org/topic/3850-new-pair-of-boots-starts-me-serious-street-heeling/ - Pm me if you want fashion advice or just need someone to talk to.
Pumps Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 I really understand where you're coming from Pumps. I used to be that introverted awkward guy too, never quite fitting in but at the time not knowing why. I'm a completely different person now than I was then, a better and more likable one with a load of friends. It came to a point where I had to change if I was ever going to be truly happy. People can change, Pumps. I'm living proof. That's good to hear. I can seems to find the tools though. I do, however, feel the urge to go into the city this weekend to test the reactions. If I can find the courage.
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