Shyheels Posted January 7, 2019 Posted January 7, 2019 Just now, jeremy1986 said: You guys are right, @Shyheels and @p1ng74 - I guess I need to man-up and wear my boots Yup!
HappyinHeels Posted January 7, 2019 Posted January 7, 2019 j-1986, I am surprised how far outside the United States the Payless chain can be found. It doesn't surprise me they are in the U.K. because the last time I was in Lima, Peru I spotted one in the Miraflores area of the city near the Larcomar mall. Those 4" boots from Payless certainly look like something I would wear even with a low 4" heel. Well done! HinH 1
Peter1 Posted January 7, 2019 Posted January 7, 2019 As @Shyheels or @p1ng74 said, no one will see that you are wearing OTK boots ! slowly but surely you need to improve your confidence! Just the fact you are thinking to going out in them is a good start ! You are not the only one in this situation 1
Cali Posted January 7, 2019 Posted January 7, 2019 Years from now you will laugh at yourself for worrying so much about this low heel. You are in a zone where you want to push the limits your wife has on your heels while not causing martial conflict. Good luck, your desire for heels will not disappear. Confidence in yourself and as you grow older you just don't care what people think will gradually get to the point you wont even think twice about wearing those 4 inch heels. 2
Peter1 Posted January 7, 2019 Posted January 7, 2019 @Cali this is a nice confidence booster message you write here ! 1
jeremy1986 Posted January 8, 2019 Author Posted January 8, 2019 @Shyheels, @Cali, @HappyinHeels and @Peter1 - thanks for your encouragement! Cali - the place we picked up bunch of Payless shoes from a couple of years ago was more of an outlet shop - not an official Payless store (alas). Some really good deals there, probably on stock that had been lying around somewhere for a while. Doesn't bother me though
jeremy1986 Posted February 7, 2019 Author Posted February 7, 2019 (edited) Hiya all. Not much heeling news from me, and haven't visited here for a while either … just been hectic with work, and life in general... Seeing some nice sales over at asos.com, see some of may faves below. Really tempting, I must say, especially some pairs I have been wanting for a while …. but I dont think I have the budget at all right now, sadly. But one can dream, right? * * * Had a counseling session with my wife the other day, she was saying how she has come to terms with some things, and its part of accepting herself. her example was dancing - that she has never liked it, but always felt the "need" to dance at parties etc, and if she chose not to, she felt bad about it... and recently took a decision, that she is accepting that she doesn't like it, and that's fine, and she has no issue with it anymore, and others will accept that as well. That really resonated with me regarding heels. That if I really accepted myself liking heels, and was ok with it within myself, then she (and others) would probably accept it as well, I guess its much like others here on the forum have said, maybe in different words. That once we accept ourselves as we are, others will too. Not because of self confidence of public heeling/showing-off (no offense meant), or "they are not women's shoes, they are my heels", but because of an internal, deep, real self acceptance. Am I ready for that? I honestly don't know.... (don't crucify me... am sharing my thoughts... and assume there are others in my same position!) * * * Edited February 7, 2019 by jeremy1986 1
RonC Posted February 7, 2019 Posted February 7, 2019 I think you're right. If we don't fully accept ourselves, it is difficult to expect other to accept. Personally, I don't think I can ever completely accept the fact that I enjoy wearing women's high heels to the point where I would not be embarrassed about it on some level. Hence, I have never expected my wife to accept me doing it. It was difficult enough for me to tell her of my fetish for her to wear high heels because I received pleasure from that. While she did become used to wearing heels and even said at one point when health issues forced her to stop that she missed her heels, she never quite understood the sexual attraction part on my end.
jeremy1986 Posted February 8, 2019 Author Posted February 8, 2019 14 hours ago, RonC said: I think you're right. If we don't fully accept ourselves, it is difficult to expect other to accept. Personally, I don't think I can ever completely accept the fact that I enjoy wearing women's high heels to the point where I would not be embarrassed about it on some level. Hence, I have never expected my wife to accept me doing it. It was difficult enough for me to tell her of my fetish for her to wear high heels because I received pleasure from that. While she did become used to wearing heels and even said at one point when health issues forced her to stop that she missed her heels, she never quite understood the sexual attraction part on my end. Am totally in the same boat. While it's not only a sexual thing for me, that element is definitely there. And I think that feeds the embarrassment of liking to wear heels. I have wondered recently what her reaction would be should I just talk to her and tell her that this is me and I am ok with wearing heels, what her reaction would be. More in terms of the long run than an initial response. Would she eventually come to terms with it? Help me shop or participate on any level? Who knows ... On 2/7/2019 at 3:17 PM, jeremy1986 said: Hiya all. Not much heeling news from me, and haven't visited here for a while either … just been hectic with work, and life in general... Seeing some nice sales over at asos.com, see some of may faves below. Really tempting, I must say, especially some pairs I have been wanting for a while …. but I dont think I have the budget at all right now, sadly. But one can dream, right? I see the image isn't loading for some reason - trying again -
Cali Posted February 8, 2019 Posted February 8, 2019 @jeremy1986 Few of us (not me) have the budget for all those shoes.But try the game of putting a pair in your basket and then log out just before paying for them. Sometimes the site will send you a special discount to complete the transaction. Doesn't work all the time, but it does work sometimes.
jeremy1986 Posted February 9, 2019 Author Posted February 9, 2019 On 2/8/2019 at 5:23 PM, Cali said: @jeremy1986 Few of us (not me) have the budget for all those shoes.But try the game of putting a pair in your basket and then log out just before paying for them. Sometimes the site will send you a special discount to complete the transaction. Doesn't work all the time, but it does work sometimes. I wish I had the budget for even some of them But yeah thats a great idea!
Rick24 Posted February 10, 2019 Posted February 10, 2019 not a chance in hell. that I will ever let a woman come between me and my heels. my words to women are no,no,no, with one finger waving from one side to the other. and with it a smile after. makes life simple and easy
Puffer Posted March 20, 2019 Posted March 20, 2019 On 1/7/2019 at 3:32 PM, HappyinHeels said: j-1986, I am surprised how far outside the United States the Payless chain can be found. It doesn't surprise me they are in the U.K. because the last time I was in Lima, Peru I spotted one in the Miraflores area of the city near the Larcomar mall. Those 4" boots from Payless certainly look like something I would wear even with a low 4" heel. Well done! HinH I think there is a misunderstanding here. Payless (i.e. Payless Shoe Source) has no presence in the UK, alas. I imagine that the items Jeremy referred to as being from Payless were bought by him in the US (but maybe he can confirm?). I did see a Payless store in Bridgetown, Barbados, a year ago - but the prices were much higher than in the US stores. I understand that Payless is on the verge of collapse and closure in the US (at least), but I don't know the latest situation. A great shame if it goes, as it is a good source of affordable footwear in larger sizes.
pebblesf Posted March 20, 2019 Posted March 20, 2019 On 2/7/2019 at 8:17 AM, jeremy1986 said: Hiya all. Not much heeling news from me, and haven't visited here for a while either … just been hectic with work, and life in general... Seeing some nice sales over at asos.com, see some of may faves below. Really tempting, I must say, especially some pairs I have been wanting for a while …. but I dont think I have the budget at all right now, sadly. But one can dream, right? * * * Had a counseling session with my wife the other day, she was saying how she has come to terms with some things, and its part of accepting herself. her example was dancing - that she has never liked it, but always felt the "need" to dance at parties etc, and if she chose not to, she felt bad about it... and recently took a decision, that she is accepting that she doesn't like it, and that's fine, and she has no issue with it anymore, and others will accept that as well. That really resonated with me regarding heels. That if I really accepted myself liking heels, and was ok with it within myself, then she (and others) would probably accept it as well, I guess its much like others here on the forum have said, maybe in different words. That once we accept ourselves as we are, others will too. Not because of self confidence of public heeling/showing-off (no offense meant), or "they are not women's shoes, they are my heels", but because of an internal, deep, real self acceptance. Am I ready for that? I honestly don't know.... (don't crucify me... am sharing my thoughts... and assume there are others in my same position!) * * * Jeremy, you are not alone buddy, so please try not to "internally punish yourself"....I know many guys here have conquered all the issues you mention, but all situations are different, especially when you consider trying to gain acceptance from a wife/husband. Your last sentence is spot on, many of us are in the same position as you. 1
jeremy1986 Posted March 21, 2019 Author Posted March 21, 2019 On 3/20/2019 at 6:07 PM, pebblesf said: Jeremy, you are not alone buddy, so please try not to "internally punish yourself"....I know many guys here have conquered all the issues you mention, but all situations are different, especially when you consider trying to gain acceptance from a wife/husband. Your last sentence is spot on, many of us are in the same position as you. Thanks for those encouraging words! I sway between wanting to accept it wanting my wife to accept it too, and between wanting to stop. And not to have this "abnormal" hobby. So it's a very inner and internal battle even before dealing with others around me. And yes, knowing there are so many others out there is some what encouraging just knowing others are in the same situation. Just today some family friends were over they have a young daughter of age 17 or so who is developing her own taste in shoes. She has some really nice heeled sandals and today was wearing some cute looking brown suede cowboy like boots with a 1 or 2 inch heel. I enjoyed seeing her in them (on a normal level of enjoyment... Nothing more of course!) and was thinking whether it's enough for me to just see heels on others or if I really want that personal experience of wearing them myself... * * * On 3/20/2019 at 5:58 PM, Puffer said: I think there is a misunderstanding here. Payless (i.e. Payless Shoe Source) has no presence in the UK, alas. I imagine that the items Jeremy referred to as being from Payless were bought by him in the US (but maybe he can confirm?). . I actually bought them while aboard from some kind of an outlet store that must have received some old Payless stock. Works fine for me though!
Puffer Posted March 21, 2019 Posted March 21, 2019 4 hours ago, jeremy1986 said: ... Just today some family friends were over they have a young daughter of age 17 or so who is developing her own taste in shoes. She has some really nice heeled sandals and today was wearing some cute looking brown suede cowboy like boots with a 1 or 2 inch heel. I enjoyed seeing her in them (on a normal level of enjoyment... Nothing more of course!) and was thinking whether it's enough for me to just see heels on others or if I really want that personal experience of wearing them myself... ... That is food for thought indeed! If my wife (and others I know or see frequently) wore attractive footwear (especially heels) more regularly, I for one would be less inclined to desire them for myself. I suppose it boils down to each individual man's preferences, i.e. 'admirer' or 'wearer'. 1 1
Shyheels Posted March 22, 2019 Posted March 22, 2019 I definitely like to wear them. I like the lift, the feel of them in my feet, and I like the puckish satisfaction of rule-breaking, doing something I oughtn’t. 3
Cali Posted March 22, 2019 Posted March 22, 2019 IMHO I think you first need to accept them yourself before you can ask others too. And that is usually the hardest. You are your worst enemy sometimes. 1
Puffer Posted March 22, 2019 Posted March 22, 2019 2 hours ago, Cali said: IMHO I think you first need to accept them yourself before you can ask others too. And that is usually the hardest. You are your worst enemy sometimes. Sorry - don't understand? What are you saying, please? You are surely not suggesting that a man has to become used to wearing heels himself before he can expect his wife or other acquaintances to wear them?
Shyheels Posted March 22, 2019 Posted March 22, 2019 I think what he means is you have to accept the fact that you like to wear heels, grow comfortable with that element of yourself, before you can expect others to be comfortable about it too. If you are jittery and self-conscious and lacking confidence, that will set a tone and make acceptance by others that much harder, if not impossible. 1
Puffer Posted March 22, 2019 Posted March 22, 2019 4 hours ago, Shyheels said: I think what he means is you have to accept the fact that you like to wear heels, grow comfortable with that element of yourself, before you can expect others to be comfortable about it too. If you are jittery and self-conscious and lacking confidence, that will set a tone and make acceptance by others that much harder, if not impossible. You may be right (although Cali can confirm) but the confusion arose as to which point above he was referring to - men wanting acceptance of their own heel-wearing, or men primarily interested in observing heel-wearing women. The danger of leapfrogging topics!
jeremy1986 Posted March 22, 2019 Author Posted March 22, 2019 5 hours ago, Shyheels said: I think what he means is you have to accept the fact that you like to wear heels, grow comfortable with that element of yourself, before you can expect others to be comfortable about it too. If you are jittery and self-conscious and lacking confidence, that will set a tone and make acceptance by others that much harder, if not impossible. Yes. This is definitely what I meant. And exactly what I am having trouble doing. # # # 55 minutes ago, Puffer said: You may be right (although Cali can confirm) but the confusion arose as to which point above he was referring to - men wanting acceptance of their own heel-wearing, or men primarily interested in observing heel-wearing women. The danger of leapfrogging topics! You are right too Different topics and different issues to discuss. Some of us might be happy enough seeing heels on others and enjoying the " second hand smoke" so to speak... But others will want to have that direct feeling themselves.
Puffer Posted March 22, 2019 Posted March 22, 2019 3 minutes ago, jeremy1986 said: Yes. This is definitely what I meant. And exactly what I am having trouble doing. # # # You are right too Different topics and different issues to discuss. Some of us might be happy enough seeing heels on others and enjoying the " second hand smoke" so to speak... But others will want to have that direct feeling themselves. This gets worse!! Jeremy now seems to be answering for Cali! (Or are they the same person - I think we should be told? ) It would be helpful if members would quote (or clearly refer to) a post they are responding to. (And without repeating a whole string of pics, if there is one.) 1
jeremy1986 Posted March 22, 2019 Author Posted March 22, 2019 On 3/22/2019 at 3:00 PM, Puffer said: This gets worse!! Jeremy now seems to be answering for Cali! (Or are they the same person - I think we should be told? ) People should also know how to follow a thread.... Allow me an eye roll.
Cali Posted March 22, 2019 Posted March 22, 2019 Sorry @Puffer but I have been very busy the last couple of days. 2 hours ago, Puffer said: This gets worse!! Jeremy now seems to be answering for Cali! (Or are they the same person - I think we should be told? ) First let me can confirm that Jeremy and I are different persons. 8 hours ago, Shyheels said: I think what he means is you have to accept the fact that you like to wear heels, grow comfortable with that element of yourself, before you can expect others to be comfortable about it too. If you are jittery and self-conscious and lacking confidence, that will set a tone and make acceptance by others that much harder, if not impossible. I felt that Jeremy wants his wife to be more supportive of him in the respect to wearing heels and at the same time he is questioning himself for wearing them. 23 hours ago, jeremy1986 said: I sway between wanting to accept it wanting my wife to accept it too, and between wanting to stop. And not to have this "abnormal" hobby. This internal conflict is hard on yourself. The first step is to stop calling it abnormal. This gives it a negative connotation which makes it harder to accept. I would also keep away from using the word hobby. 2
Shyheels Posted March 22, 2019 Posted March 22, 2019 Indeed. You wouldn’t refer to your hobby of, say, wearing jeans, or your hobby of wearing silk ties, or your hobby of wearing brightly coloured Converse sneakers. That’s just a matter of your taste and personal style. Wearing heels should be no different. 2
mlroseplant Posted March 23, 2019 Posted March 23, 2019 (edited) I, too, have sometimes struggled with the idea that life would be much easier if I just gave up heeling forever. In some ways, it certainly would be. Although I have a tolerant wife, she would certainly be the first to cheer if I decided to throw away all my heels. However, that probably ain't gonna happen. I just enjoy pretty much every aspect of wearing heels, and I'm going to go so far as to say that it is indeed a part of who I am as a person, rather than just being a habit or addiction that I really should give up like smoking. Particularly since it neither in any way physically hurts anybody, nor does it hurt me. Well, it might not be the greatest for me physically, but we won't go down that particular rabbit hole at this time. It certainly does not hurt me in the way that say, drinking a quart of whiskey every night would. For me personally, I don't think I could get by simply being an observer at this stage of my life. I think I now have too much skin in the game. I realize that I'm in a different place than you are right now, but I would caution you @jeremy1986 against purging your collection completely. Edited March 23, 2019 by mlroseplant Grammar 1
Jkrenzer Posted March 23, 2019 Posted March 23, 2019 Exactly the same thing for me, couldn't have said it better.
jeremy1986 Posted March 24, 2019 Author Posted March 24, 2019 On 3/22/2019 at 7:59 PM, Cali said: I felt that Jeremy wants his wife to be more supportive of him in the respect to wearing heels and at the same time he is questioning himself for wearing them. This internal conflict is hard on yourself. The first step is to stop calling it abnormal. This gives it a negative connotation which makes it harder to accept. I would also keep away from using the word hobby. @Cali - you got it right. Just want to stress, that I did put the "abnormal" in inverted commas - because that's how folks from the outside are looking at it. And yes, "hobby" may not have been the best word, understood. On 3/22/2019 at 8:51 PM, Shyheels said: Indeed. You wouldn’t refer to your hobby of, say, wearing jeans, or your hobby of wearing silk ties, or your hobby of wearing brightly coloured Converse sneakers. That’s just a matter of your taste and personal style. Wearing heels should be no different. You have a point there, @Shyheels. Though I am not wearing them out and about, or daily. So I guess its more of a wish for that taste & style On 3/23/2019 at 4:03 PM, mlroseplant said: I, too, have sometimes struggled with the idea that life would be much easier if I just gave up heeling forever. In some ways, it certainly would be. Although I have a tolerant wife, she would certainly be the first to cheer if I decided to throw away all my heels. However, that probably ain't gonna happen. I just enjoy pretty much every aspect of wearing heels, and I'm going to go so far as to say that it is indeed a part of who I am as a person, rather than just being a habit or addiction that I really should give up like smoking. Particularly since it neither in any way physically hurts anybody, nor does it hurt me. Well, it might not be the greatest for me physically, but we won't go down that particular rabbit hole at this time. It certainly does not hurt me in the way that say, drinking a quart of whiskey every night would. For me personally, I don't think I could get by simply being an observer at this stage of my life. I think I now have too much skin in the game. I realize that I'm in a different place than you are right now, but I would caution you @jeremy1986 against purging your collection completely. You are totally correct, as I've said. There is no harm in this - especially even in our conservative community, I am currently just wishing to wear them around home. I have asked myself as well, if they are an addiction ( I opened a thread on this topic a while back) - I think my answer is no. It does not consume me as I assume an addiction does. Sure - when looking at someone I will often look at their shoes, or a first comment about someone or something might be shoe related, but it does not fill life. You @mlroseplant and I are at different points on the spectrum (aren't we all), and I am still considering where I want to be, and where I can be. And as of yet, all heels still alive and well
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