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jeremy1986

Jeremy's heel stories, pictures & thoughts

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So I reached 1000 posts recently, so I figured its about time I got my own thread :cheeky: 

I hope to write some small heel-related content, thoughts and  stories from my day to day life, and welcome your input and feedback. 

So, those who have followed my posts in the past know that I have written about my wife wearing heels less in the last couple years. In our younger years she wore heels a lot, and looks great (almost too great  ) in them. she is quite tall ~178 cms, so the heels make her even taller. as we get a bit older (around 40), she is wearing them less - whereas my collection only started about 2-3 years ago - and is going strong with almost 20 pairs of sandals, pumps and boots. even though I dropped hints for many years, she didn't catch on about HOW MUCH I really loved heels - obviously I LOVED seeing them on her, but felt I needed more, so about 3 years ago I "came out" to her and told her. Its taken her a long time, but she accepts it on some level, and has become a little indifferent to it, and just passes minor comments here and there when I am heeling near her. She has gone heel shopping with me a couple of times and for that I am greatly appreciative. I would love to do it more with her, but understand its not easy for her. As I mentioned she has been wearing heels less - she's put on some weight and doesn't want to draw more attention to herself, and I get that. But she can still wear at home right? But she doesn't... she also tends to run 'hot' and even in the fall wears slip slops around the house and even outside sometimes - so the boots do not come out very frequent unfortunately. And thats pretty sad - (a) because she looks great in them, and (b) i would probably do anything for her if she did wear them :cheeky:

When i told my wife about my love for heels, i told her that i dont want to wear her behind her back, and I would like my own. But now its come to the stage that i am considering commandeering hers so that at least someone wear them! Not sure how she would react though.

 

Anyway, a couple of minor anecdotes for the last few days:

 

The other day i decided to wear my grey Fioni Ankle boots, with a beautiful stiletto heel (see my boots album - https://hhplace.org/gallery/album/662-boots/). She saw them and made a minor comment. I thought i would try create a positive climate around them, and asked her "do you know why i like these so much? - because we went and bought them together". Indeed, we had bought them along with a pair of high heel boots on one occasion. she got side tracked, and didnt really respond, which kind of disappointed me, But i told myself and climate change doesnt happen over night, and who knows what change it may have triggered, and what will later be triggered if i am able to strengthen the positive environment. I also just like talking about heels and shoes with her, but at this occurrence, nothing really came of it, so i was still a little disappointed, but told myself to hold tight! Still, i felt good being able to wear my boots in front of my wife - i find that my desire to wear my heels depends on so many factors (Weather, work, meetings, wife or family being around, current mood of my wife, and the way the wind is blowing that day in the context of our relationship...   so often i just drop it and dont wear - so i was happy that it had worked out well. 

 

The other story was just yesterday. a year or 2 ago, my wife and i had bought these cute knee high boots from Marks and Spencer - they are actually still selling them. See http://www.marksandspencer.com/kitten-heel-pointed-stretch-knee-boots/p/p60111829?image=SD_01_T02_8779A_Y0_X_EC_90&color=BLACK&prevPage=plp and the pics below. they have a cute kitten heel of about 2.5", and pull-on style which i like, and the suede is really smooth. They were not cheap, but my wife wanted them, and i course will not say 'no' when she wants to buy heeled boots! M&S seemed to mess up with the delivery as they didnt arrive. We complained eventually, and somehow they both credited us on the order - as well as sent out another package. Then - not only did the 2nd package arrive - but the first one came as well! So we have 2 pairs of identical boots - they fit us both (they are a comfy size 8UK)! I was over the moon, and hinted very clearly that we can wear them together.... anyway - that hasnt happened yet... but i'm still hopeful! as i mentioned, she hasnt worn them in ages, but yesterday i came home from some errands, and she was wearing them - she said she wanted to make me happy. and indeed she did - was really great seeing her around the house wearing them, and of course the sentiment of her wanting to make me happy with them. 

SO who knows - maybe that 'positive climate' comment from a few days ago really did have an effect??  I asked her later how was it wearing them again, and she said that they were really comfortable and cosy to wear (I can confirm that!!!), and not nearly as uncomfortable as she remembers them from last year.

 

Anyway - she has since worn her ugg-style boots last night and today took out her tan leather riding boots....  and then she told me she remembered about these lovely Nine West leather  boots we bought last year….  so maybe we're onto something :cheeky:   I am sure things will go up, and down, as always, but for now, it seems there is light at the end of the tunnel, and I'm enjoying that. Also thinking what boots to take out tonight after the kids go to bed :cheeky:  

 

Sorry if these were long and drawn out… I am happy to share these little comments and stories, and hope to read the same from you all!

Let me know if this kind of thing is of interest to you. I enjoy attaching snaps as well, so you can enjoy seeing what I am writing about. 

 

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Edited by jeremy1986
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Jeremy

Sure sounds like you are trying very hard to keep your relationship spark strong buddy!  I really applaud all you have done, and am hoping the wife will again enjoy wearing boots, and not just do it to make you happy.  Although, that is a great sign that she wants to make you happy buddy!  Do you think your wife likes the way you look in boots, or does she just tolerate it for the sake of the relationship?  Needless to say, we all want our significant others to like the way we look in heels.  But again, it is a great sign even if the wife is willing to just "tolerate" your love of heels/boots.  Do you ever wear your boots publicly with your wife? 

I wish you both all the success in your relationship.  Unfortunately, my love of boots has ruined my relationship.  My partner hates my love of boots, especially women's boots, he even criticizes my cowboy boots with fairly modest heels.  I just wish he could find some tolerance, belittling me just pushes me away.  I am fortunate to travel for work, so I get plenty of booted time while away, but feel guilty about it indeed.  So, keep trying buddy, I know all too well, our love of boots/heels will not be denied, no matter how we might try.  Take good care of your loving wife buddy....

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It sounds like you have a very nice relationship which you both work at to make a success. That’s a solid partnership. 

Just curious - when you say “a minor comment” what do you mean?

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2 hours ago, pebblesf said:

Jeremy

Sure sounds like you are trying very hard to keep your relationship spark strong buddy!  I really applaud all you have done, and am hoping the wife will again enjoy wearing boots, and not just do it to make you happy.  Although, that is a great sign that she wants to make you happy buddy!  Do you think your wife likes the way you look in boots, or does she just tolerate it for the sake of the relationship?  Needless to say, we all want our significant others to like the way we look in heels.  But again, it is a great sign even if the wife is willing to just "tolerate" your love of heels/boots.  Do you ever wear your boots publicly with your wife? 

I wish you both all the success in your relationship.  Unfortunately, my love of boots has ruined my relationship.  My partner hates my love of boots, especially women's boots, he even criticizes my cowboy boots with fairly modest heels.  I just wish he could find some tolerance, belittling me just pushes me away.  I am fortunate to travel for work, so I get plenty of booted time while away, but feel guilty about it indeed.  So, keep trying buddy, I know all too well, our love of boots/heels will not be denied, no matter how we might try.  Take good care of your loving wife buddy....

Thanks @pebblesf , as always - I appreciate your encouragement.  I do hope we are building something strong. Last few years have been hard (unrelated to heels), its easy to give up and walk away (well, not that easy I guess), but hopefully that is not an option. To answer your questions - in general I think my wife just tolerates it. Though I remember once when I was wearing a new pair of pumps I had just bought, with a pair of skinny-ish jeans, she said something on the lines of "oh those actually look very nice". I don't recall her saying anything else significantly positive about how they look on me, though she has commented on some of the specific pairs that she likes and are in her style too (like "those are very nice, classic look"), and of course "those are very high" etc.. I have never worn them in public with my wife, and in fact only worn flat boots out once or twice at all. 

I am sorry to read of your issues with your partners - certainly not easy. But its good that you have a chance to do it in your own privacy without any issue. I think its OK  for you to do it  - you are not harming him or causing any issue doing it while away - I don't think you need to feel guilty at all. So stay strong, and I hope things at least calm down a little for you.

 

1 hour ago, Shyheels said:

It sounds like you have a very nice relationship which you both work at to make a success. That’s a solid partnership. 

Just curious - when you say “a minor comment” what do you mean?

Thanks @Shyheels. What I mean about minor comment - nothing negative actually. just like things like "ooh those are high" or, "I see you switched your shoes" - stuff like that. Nothing strongly positive, and also definitely not negative - so I think that's a good sign, and in general a gentle "indifference" is probably good too. 

I always wonder about how to keep the balance: I assume my wife would prefer I do not wear heels. So I try not to wear them too much, or not to wear them "in her face" kind of thing, but on the other hand, I want her to know that this is something I want, and that it seems like its not going away, and that I want it to be a "normal" thing (as normal as this could be... :cheeky: ) and that's its just accepted. Not sure I have the balance right - as I mentioned above, there are all kinds of other influencing components that are thrown into the decision of whether to heel or not (and what to choose!).

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It sounds like both of you are being caring and sensible. From the sounds of things, I would say she is simply acknowledging in a neutral sort of way your heels, but without being in your face either. Normalising things. As you say, a gentle indifference. A caring indifference. 

And you are seeking the same sensible balance. Nothing in her face, but simply wearing what you like in a casual way. It sounds like a recipe for success to me.

Edited by Shyheels
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wow!  reading this reminds me of just how lucky i am!  my wife doesn't care at all what i wear, be it 6 inch heels, 7.5 inch heels, skin tight jeans, bikini thong at the beach, and she doesn't care if i get out and run around.  my wife encourages my heel wearing and my clothing choices.  

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2 minutes ago, w6ish said:

wow!  reading this reminds me of just how lucky i am!  my wife doesn't care at all what i wear, be it 6 inch heels, 7.5 inch heels, skin tight jeans, bikini thong at the beach, and she doesn't care if i get out and run around.  my wife encourages my heel wearing and my clothing choices.  

very lucky indeed!

Does she have as high heel and great a bod as you do?

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25 minutes ago, Shyheels said:

It sounds like both of you are being caring and sensible. From the sounds of things, I would say she is simply acknowledging in a neutral sort of way your heels, but without being in your face either. Normalising things. As you say, a gentle indifference. A caring indifference. 

And you are seeking the same sensible balance. Nothing in her face, but simply wearing what you like in a casual way. It sounds like a recipe for success to me.

well said...

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9 minutes ago, w6ish said:

wow!  reading this reminds me of just how lucky i am!  my wife doesn't care at all what i wear, be it 6 inch heels, 7.5 inch heels, skin tight jeans, bikini thong at the beach, and she doesn't care if i get out and run around.  my wife encourages my heel wearing and my clothing choices.  

Lucky guy, I am assuming she likes the way you look in heels and tight jeans....

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Sorry for the bad quality snaps - here are my wifes M&S kitten heels boots - on me. 

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7 hours ago, jeremy1986 said:

So I reached 1000 posts recently, so I figured its about time I got my own thread

Oh no....1000 posts = own thread .... Oh no.

I switched to women's shoes around 2011 after a third major ankle reconstruction. First it was running shoes, then to booties, my starter heels, the Material Girls and some Bare Traps and.... I had 5 pair of starter heels with 1" to 2" heels. It was hard getting the courage to wear them to work the first couple of times. My Bare Traps were really noisy so I had the heel replaced. It was a scary time for me.  A few of my friends noticed I was taller. 

You know what...I lived through it. The world didn't end. I even had a male student tell me "Those are some fly shoes there."

Then over two years ago I notice the pain relief form 4+ inch heels. So I live in high heels. I've had so much fun and enjoyment from just wearing my heels. And for me having exquisite manicured artistic finger nails just adds to my fun.

 

So I would start with simple low heel booties. Take your wife to dinner and just wear them, don't make a big deal over them.  See if she notices. Not many women care about shoes as much as the men on this site do. And they don't have as many shoes as the men on this site, either. I'm low compared to some here with only around 45 pairs, but I only know about 3 - 4 women that have more shoes. 

 

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Good advice, Cali. Jeremy, when I first came out to my wife in the late 1970s that I wanted to wear heels, she said fine, do it when you're alone, because I don't ever want to see them. After pushing the envelope for 20 years or so, I finally got to the point where I could wear heels around her and she didn't mind. I did it without fanfare and frequently enough that she got used to seeing me in them, and decided that my hobby wasn't really so bad, compared to going out drinking and playing around or other things that guys often do. The biggest thing I did that let me make progress was to keep focused on her, so she didn't experience insecurity and so she knew I was comfortable in my role as husband, and wasn't turning gay or going after a sex-change operation. As she became more confident and less insecure, more opportunities to wear heels ensued. Once we moved to our retirement community I could wear heels (and women's flats) every day, and I have. And nobody has EVER said anything to me, unless I asked my gal pals on the staff for their opinions. It's been a long and challenging but fun and worthwhile journey. So my advice to you is don't rush it. Enjoy all those minor victories and keep your attention focused on your wife and kids. When she does something nice, like wearing heels you like, shower her with presents and attention. She'll eventually figure out that if she wears heels, she gets rewarded, and that will make your bonding so much better. I think you have the potential for a fabulous long-term relationship. Take it slowly and carefully! And keep sharing your experiences here. That's how others learn.

Good luck!

Steve

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Cali and Steve offer great advice from actual successful experiences! 

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Thanks Gang.

many here speak about the "journey". To public heeling, to higher heels, etc..   I don't feel like I have those kinds of goals. I just like wearing heels that look good to me (not necessarily good ON me :cheeky: ). I'm not really after public heeling, though it definitely has some excitement to it. Our kids are young and it would be hard to explain it to them and our community is not so accepting of "out of the norm" activities. Please don't preach about how we need to educate our kids that wearing heels is OK etc...   -   I get it all, but its just not relevant to our situation. 

In the meantime, I'm just satisfied wearing my heels at home. I have almost 20 pairs - more than I would have ever dreamed of buying (I though that buying my first 2 pairs with my wife would have "cured" me!!), and that too - is very out of character for me, as I'm usually very 'logical' and practical when it comes to buying stuff, and I fully understand how women could buy more and more heels. I keep an active wish list at the few online stores I frequent and follow the sales, and when something grabs my eye, I will generally consider it for a while, and when thinking about it enough, I might convince myself that I deserve it or need to have it and then buy it - especially if its on sale. Some of my heels I have bought for ridiculously low prices, and that at least makes me feel better about it, not spending much money on this hobby. 

So yes - I definitely want to wear heels more often, and would love it to be more welcome at home, and that naturally might lead to further adventures, I don't know. I totally understand, accept and take upon myself the goals of making a more positive environment etc (heck, that's great advice for any marriage!). But in the meantime, there is no "journey". and I hope not to get stoned now :cheeky:

 

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No stones being hurled from this quarter I can assure you. What you say makes total sense and resonates with me - no need for any 'journey'. Seems to me you have the balance just right. 

Edited by Shyheels
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So today's "minor comment", from just a few moments ago: I am busy working, the wife napping on the couch next to me. While she was asleep, I had put on my new New Look laser cut booties seen below. She awoke at some point and saw them straight away and said "gosh", I looked at her puzzled, not knowing what she meant, and she said "those are quite the heels". Not a negative comment, I think :) 

 

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She sounds a bit bemused - not negative, more intrigued, perhaps seeing heels, and wearing heels, in a different light through your interest. If you continue to be yourself, in your heels, a certain understanding will be achieved, I expect. Good all around. You bot seem to be approaching things with care and caution and open minds. 

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These are actually my wife's - she bought them as "bedroom heels". They are not the style I would buy for myself, but even I would agree - these just ooze with sex appeal, and I could hardly say no when she asked what I thought!

They are Silvia Tcherassi for Payless from a few years ago. Size 10M (US), a bit of a squeeze for me, but they go on and zip up nicely. I don't think they would fit my wife anymore. Its me wearing them in the pictures here, with some fancy hose. They have a sexy smooth heel of about 5.5", purple colors under-heel with those external platform heels (what are they called?). 

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On ‎11‎/‎27‎/‎2017 at 5:25 AM, Shyheels said:

No stones being hurled from this quarter I can assure you. What you say makes total sense and resonates with me - no need for any 'journey'. Seems to me you have the balance just right. 

No stones indeed.  I admire you for putting your family and relationship first. 

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23 hours ago, jeremy1986 said:

They are Silvia Tcherassi for Payless from a few years ago. Size 10M (US), a bit of a squeeze for me, but they go on and zip up nicely. I don't think they would fit my wife anymore. Its me wearing them in the pictures here, with some fancy hose. They have a sexy smooth heel of about 5.5", purple colors under-heel with those external platform heels (what are they called?). 

Since the platform is smaller that the shoe I heard them called both floating and hidden platforms. My Victoria's Secret stilettos have them.

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You normally not at eye level with the platform. So when you view them from above (also called normal viewing) the toes seem to float above the ground and the platform is hidden.

Here's my hidden platforms

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Here is another pair of my wife's booties (worn by me in the pics)  - I don't think she has ever worn them - possibly once. They are from a Payless, probably a "no name" brand called 'Predictions'.  They have a 3" heel and a VERY pointy toe - one that is clearly felt when walking... is a bit of a strange sensation... but I guess one gets used to it.

Unfortunately due to having been left at the bottom of the closest for quite some time, the faux-leather has been bent and buckled and is a little damaged in a few places, which is quite a shame seen as they are basically brand new.

The interesting story with these is, that it was the 2nd time I went out heel shopping with my wife (for me), and she helped me pick out 2 pairs of boots (one knee high and the other ankle height, both with high heels) - I was encouraging her to get some as well, but she didn't find anything that really grabbed her. but she tried these on and was considering buying them, but in the end didn't. I had gone to work after that nearby, and chatted with my wife a couple of times during the day, she was coming back to pick me up. I asked her about those or other boots, and she maybe she wants them after all. To my own surprise I offered to get them for her... and to my surprise again.... she said yes .... so in I went, found them right away and did a little look around just in case there was anything else... and then went to the counter to buy them. Nothing much at all from the sales lady - maybe she remembered me from earlier - just mentioned that I cant bring them back, as they were on sale. I nodded, paid, said thank you and left. And this time - they really were "for the wife" :cheeky: 

Anyway - sadly, they haven't seen the day of light... so I took them out for a little breather this week! 

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Nice story.  It was nice that she helped you pick out boots for yourself and you reciprocated by getting her a pair. They seem like very stylish and elegant boots. 

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14 hours ago, jeremy1986 said:

Here is another pair of my wife's booties (worn by me in the pics)  - I don't think she has ever worn them - possibly once. They are from a Payless, probably a "no name" brand called 'Predictions'.  They have a 3" heel and a VERY pointy toe - one that is clearly felt when walking... is a bit of a strange sensation... but I guess one gets used to it.

Unfortunately due to having been left at the bottom of the closest for quite some time, the faux-leather has been bent and buckled and is a little damaged in a few places, which is quite a shame seen as they are basically brand new.

...

Nice boots; I like that toe shape!   If you bought them in the UK, are you sure they came from 'Payless' (which is a well-known US outlet)?   They look similar to some boots sold a few years ago in the UK by 'Priceless Shoes' (part of Stylo Barratt and now, alas, defunct), I think under the 'Sherbert' brand.   

I have a couple of pairs of different styles of 'Sherbert' knee boots (in UK11!) which fit me very well but one pair, like yours, has suffered noticeably by being stored - any creasing causes the sprayed-on synthetic coating to detach from the fabric underneath.   This appears to be a common problem with such material; my wife has a rather nice pair of knee boots from BHS which have not often been worn but are, likewise, 'flaking' after storage.   (I suggest that stuffing boots, especially tall ones, with newspaper or inserting rigid cardboard strips as 'trees' will help to prevent this deterioration by minimising creasing.)

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Thanks Gang. Yes @Puffer - they are from Payless, bought while we were relocated overseas for a while, for work. 

Though I can assume all discount shoes these days come from China... same styles, just with a different name under the sole :cheeky:

 

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Hi all,

So, now with the holidays, and the lovely sales.... I have a short update.

Asos.com started with a sale on Friday and I immediately browsed to see how my saved items list was doing :)

To my delight, many of the items were discounted - especially that pair of lovely wedges I wrote about here - https://hhplace.org/topic/24377-i-need-help-with-a-decision-boots-or-wedges  - and they came down from £17.50 (which was already 50% off) to £10.50 - so I grabbed them!! I also wanted to get something for my wife, so browsed the lingerie department and found some lovely items. She likes wearing denim skirts but I didn't see anything that was really her style (Found this beauty... but didn't think she would go for it :cheeky: ... maybe @w6ish or @JeffB!). Obviously I added some more heels to my list too!

Today I asked my wife if she wants to shop (online) with me and she quickly agreed - I showed her my saved items list and she made some comments on the various items. Unfortunately some of the items had gone out of stock or the size was not available anymore (got to be quick!), but she picked out some lovely pairs of knickers. When we were looking at the heels and boots on my list, she made a comment that I should try choose some different styles to what I have (eg - I already have a few wedges - so why another), which makes sense, I guess! I showed her some boots that I thought she might like (kitten heel OTK's - http://www.asos.com/prd/8743869?CTARef=Saved+Items+Image ) - she liked the heel, its very similar to a pair of knee highs she has, though in suede.  The issue is she really needs a size 9 (UK) and any of the styles go up to an 8 only....
She loved this pair - http://www.asos.com/missguided/missguided-barely-there-tie-side-sandals  , but again - it only goes up to a size 8. We are PG having a family celebration next year  - she said she might have liked them for that. I am uploading a picture below.  A very feminine pair, with rear zips - which I love! Anyway - I put them in my shopping bag after she left, because at £9.00 they are a steal - and hopefully they will fit her or me (they were in my list after all!) - or both! She found some cute OTK (flat!) boots too, but again, the size issue. I will try keep an eye on them for her. 

So after she chose the lingerie she liked, off she went, and I was a little upset she didn't want to browse for stuff I liked... and made a comment to her as such, and she tried to say she thought I was done, because I had the items in my list... I said that's not the point, the point was to shop together (make it a positive experience for both of us... and not just for her )... and she said I needed to be clearer in my request from her, and that I should tell her what I need. I guess this makes sense - and it might be a lesson to a lot of us there who are not fully "out" with heeling - that we need to be clear what we are asking of our partners - and when we make a clear request, they can respond. Possibly a lot of times, we are not requesting - either we assume they understand (not!), or we ourselves are not sure what we are asking... so they too do not know what to do and how to react. So I guess its I can learn from this, and be clearer with my wife about what I am asking of her. She offered to come sit with me, but I didn't feel like it anymore.... maybe I should have forced myself, just to get over that 'hump'.

Anyway... we both did well, and I am continuing to browse! 2 final interesting points - I never thought I would shop for flat boots... but I find myself looking at them more now... maybe I am getting old???  I think that in some cases they are just plain and simply more sensible... (please forgive me!!) ... and comfy to walk around the house in etc....  Also - I never though I would like OTK boots - and here too... they are all over the place, and I guess I am more accepting of them. Many of them look down right sexy!  But seen as I am not wearing mini skirts and don't really own jeggings or super skinny jeans I don't know  how they will actually look and feel on me... There is also a difference between Thigh High and OTK - where I like the latter more....  I guess time will tell where these 2 styles go for me ... 

 

 

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Edited by jeremy1986

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