Hmmmm. I will need to read all these posts over again, slowly and much more carefully. Perhaps my situation is in the middle somewhere. In my case, my partner hates my love of heels and boots, which has caused some major issues in our relationship. There is no way I can ignore my love of heels and boots, no matter how hard I might try. My mistake was not being completely open and honest on our first date, letting him know that heels/boots were a part of me that is not going away for any relationship. I'm not expecting accolades, or compliments, just some acceptance would be great! I think he sees my heels/boots, as "the other guy", which is understandable... I have caused more issues in our relationship by being secretive and going outside the relationship to find acceptance, definitely not proud of that. But, he could have offered just the slightest bit of acceptance.
As far as his outifts/footwear, there are definitely choices that do not appeal to me. I offer my opinions while shopping, but don't argue with his choices, or shower him with gifts that satisfy my preferences.