My wife and my heels

[Chaosheels]

On 1/1/2019 at 1:39 PM, luvmaryjanes said:

Find the closest Walk A Mile In Her Shoes charity walk and join in. Keep some Vaseline with you to put on your toes to avoid blisters. On the first one I signed up but it didn't start for 2 hours so we went to a restaurant. I walked in in my mary janes. The kid that opened the door said:"I wanted to do that but had to work" Our waitress said:"Those are SO cute, where did you get them!" But the best fun was a little girl about 6 who while looking at me said:"Mommy, he is wearing girl shoes." I wanted to say Darn right!

Hell yeah but my wife is worried about what her family and friends would think if I went out so that's the main barrier I face

[Steve63130]

Chaos,

But at the Walk-a-mile event, EVERY guy is wearing heels, mostly stilettos. Why in the world would your wife object? It's a fund-raiser, not a fashion show! Find an event near you and plan to do it if you want to. It's for a good cause.

I did it once many years ago. While it was interesting, I didn't find it fun and I haven't gone back. There were too many people in the crowd watching and laughing at the guys who couldn't walk very well in heels. Even though I had lots of practice and walked gracefully, I just didn't like being associated with guys being laughed at. In other words, the best part was the Chinese restaurant we went to afterwards!

Steve

Steve

[HappyinHeels]

Chaosheels,

This is the part where I don't get women. She may be worried what others may think if you go but are you worried when she wears pants? Has a tattoo? Has very short hair? These are all things women have adopted in my lifetime and the sky didn't fall. As Steve63130 said,  the event is a fundraiser for a women's cause. To hell with the trailer court antics of stares and laughing. The point is to see the world via another perspective and if that isn't good enough for some other spectators then may they all gag on their cigarettes and ignorance. HinH 

[Shyheels]

It is kind of outrageous when one stops and thinks of all the slovenliness and hideous 'styles' that are thrust in our faces on a daily basis and yet a guy who dresses well yet is wearing heels should attract such opprobrium.  

Although as I have often said I think that on a day to day basis, along a busy street or in cafe, nobody notices or cares. It is just if the matter is brought to their attention and of course like an event such as Walk a Mile it can hardly be missed. 

[Gudulitooo]

6 hours ago, HappyinHeels said:

Chaosheels,

This is the part where I don't get women. She may be worried what others may think if you go but are you worried when she wears pants? Has a tattoo? Has very short hair? These are all things women have adopted in my lifetime and the sky didn't fall. As Steve63130 said,  the event is a fundraiser for a women's cause. To hell with the trailer court antics of stares and laughing. The point is to see the world via another perspective and if that isn't good enough for some other spectators then may they all gag on their cigarettes and ignorance. HinH 

They want to be in charge and to control every detail that is why.

[SF]

Maybe this will help???  sf

[highheel111]

Yesterday I received  parcel which was left at the front door. My wife brings it in for me as she got home from work first. She asks me what it is. I said its just another pair of heels. She's like don't you have enough pairs already. hahah which I do she's right. she doesn't like my heel wearing but puts up with it. I made it well clear when we started dating that I love heels and that she needs to love all of me. any who these are the heels I got $15usd as 75% off. really well made too. Already planning and outing in them..

[Rick24]

your wife hates the fact that you have a bigger collection than what she has highheel111. your wife is a typical woman who does not want to be outheeled by a man.

[Cali]

I have a significantly larger shoe selection than 90% of the women I know. As much as 4 times the number of shoes and almost all of mine have 4 inch plus heels.

Also my nails are nicer than 95% of the women.

If you are going to wear heels in public and have nails in public you got to what @JeffB says, you got to do it right - with style.

[Bubba136]

4 hours ago, Rick24 said:

your wife hates the fact that you have a bigger collection than what she has highheel111. your wife is a typical woman who does not want to be outheeled by a man.

One of the main differences between men wearing heels and women wearing them is, as my wife always pointed out, that most women choose their shoes as accessories to accent or match their outfits, like a handbag or purse, and not just for the love of wearing heels. My wife picked out the style, model or heel height she was going to wear to match her outfit and to fit the occasion, function or activity in which she was participating. 

Most men that wear heels, with the exception of JeffB and several other members here, just like to wear them.  Those of us that wear heels openly in public usually don't select the color, style or type ( pumps, sandals, boots, etc.) to match a particular occasion that we're attending or a men's outfit they are wearing.  Me, for example, I base my selection beginning with the season, then time of day and lastly where I am going and what I'm going to do.  Unlike my wife, I tend to stay away from the frilly and girly shoes with buckles, bows, fringes, straps etc., and stick to the more plain and classic styles in black, brown or less eye catching colors.  As for heel height, now that I am over 60, I currently go more for comfort and stay in the range of 3.5 to 4" heels.  I still have pairs of shoes with 5, 6 & 7" heels,  but I find wearing them tiring and can't wear them for extended periods like I used to.

I do, however, wear stockings, thigh highs, trouser stockings, and on occasions,  panty hose (I find having to take time to "feminize" getting dressed to be bothersome. And, I also have no interest in trying to appear the least bit ladylike.  

My wife used to buy shoes for me at least twice a month.  Most of her selections I returned because they were way too frilly.  Not that I didn't appreciate her effort to please me, because I really did.  I guess it was her way of showing me that she just wanted to include herself in that part of my life (as well as trying to alter my taste more towards liking kitten heel sling back pumps, and the like.)

While every now and then she would mention that I owned many more pairs of "girls" shoes than I had of men's styles, I would remind her that most of the men's styles I had, I had purchased many years ago and hadn't worn them in a long time.  

 

Edited January 5, 2019 by Bubba136

[Jkrenzer]

3 hours ago, Bubba136 said:

One of the main differences between men wearing heels and women wearing them is, as my wife always pointed out, that most women choose their shoes as accessories to accent or match their outfits, like a handbag or purse, and not just for the love of wearing heels. My wife picked out the style, model or heel height she was going to wear to match her outfit and to fit the occasion, function or activity in which she was participating. 

 

I won't argue with your wife directly, but many women, not all, I have known over the years actually match their outfits to their shoes. It's the heels that give power, not the clothes and least of which not the jewelry. 

[Shyheels]

I would have said the opposite - that shoes are accessories. 

Edited January 5, 2019 by Shyheels

[Cali]

I'm 50/50. Sometime I have an outfit I want to wear an then chose the shoes to go with it. Other times I want to wear a particular pair of shoes and determine my outfit from there. Some days the weather determines my heels, and my outfit follows.

How many shoes do you have? 

I think the more shoes you have and the higher the degree of variation you have as a result gives a person a different view. I have about 50 high heels, 8 other women's shoes and 4 remaining male shoes, including my waders.

[Jkrenzer]

I often pick a pair of stilettos I want to wear out and then choose the shirt to match the color. Yesterday I wore a pair of Steve Madden light brown 5 inch open cut booties, more like pumps, with dark blue jeans and a matching light tan polo shirt. The jeans covered 2 inches of the 5 inch heels witch were fully exposed when walking or sitting. 

Here are some pictures of the way I looked, should post more images going forward. I went to my favorite dinner for breakfast in the morning. Took  the shoes off for work (a factory setting). Went to the store afterward then out to dinner with my wife in the evening. We sat at the bar of a restaurant we often go to when we go out casual. The bar has very high chairs and several normal height tables were along the same aisle. These were all full of patrons and I'm sure my heels were noticed by many.

[bluejay]

I too like to match my shoes to the top I'm wearing. I make shoe decisions both ways. Sometimes I will pick out heels to match my ensemble and other times I like to pick an ensemble, then match it up with my shoes or boots.

Happy Heeling,

bluejay

[luvmaryjanes]

I'm more picky about how they look than ANY woman. A woman could put three pairs of black heels in front of me and say "they are the same." To me they are as different than Ford, Chevy and Plymouth.
 

[jeremy1986]

23 hours ago, Jkrenzer said:

Wow, these are great heels, well done!

 * * * 

On ‎1‎/‎5‎/‎2019 at 1:01 AM, Bubba136 said:

One of the main differences between men wearing heels and women wearing them is, as my wife always pointed out, that most women choose their shoes as accessories to accent or match their outfits, like a handbag or purse, and not just for the love of wearing heels. My wife picked out the style, model or heel height she was going to wear to match her outfit and to fit the occasion, function or activity in which she was participating. 

Most men that wear heels, with the exception of JeffB and several other members here, just like to wear them.  Those of us that wear heels openly in public usually don't select the color, style or type ( pumps, sandals, boots, etc.) to match a particular occasion that we're attending or a men's outfit they are wearing.  Me, for example, I base my selection beginning with the season, then time of day and lastly where I am going and what I'm going to do.  Unlike my wife, I tend to stay away from the frilly and girly shoes with buckles, bows, fringes, straps etc., and stick to the more plain and classic styles in black, brown or less eye catching colors.  As for heel height, now that I am over 60, I currently go more for comfort and stay in the range of 3.5 to 4" heels.  I still have pairs of shoes with 5, 6 & 7" heels,  but I find wearing them tiring and can't wear them for extended periods like I used to.

I do, however, wear stockings, thigh highs, trouser stockings, and on occasions,  panty hose (I find having to take time to "feminize" getting dressed to be bothersome. And, I also have no interest in trying to appear the least bit ladylike.  

My wife used to buy shoes for me at least twice a month.  Most of her selections I returned because they were way too frilly.  Not that I didn't appreciate her effort to please me, because I really did.  I guess it was her way of showing me that she just wanted to include herself in that part of my life (as well as trying to alter my taste more towards liking kitten heel sling back pumps, and the like.)

While every now and then she would mention that I owned many more pairs of "girls" shoes than I had of men's styles, I would remind her that most of the men's styles I had, I had purchased many years ago and hadn't worn them in a long time.  

 

wow, @Bubba136 - you're a luck guy. If my wife were to buy me heels, I would wear them even if I didn't like them how many pairs do you have? 

also, I liked how you said that 3.5-4" is comfort - you must be well versed in thr 6-7" range to say that!  I also like the 4-4.5" range, but have a way to go before that's my comfort range!

 

On ‎1‎/‎4‎/‎2019 at 8:12 PM, highheel111 said:

Yesterday I received  parcel which was left at the front door. My wife brings it in for me as she got home from work first. She asks me what it is. I said its just another pair of heels. She's like don't you have enough pairs already. hahah which I do she's right. she doesn't like my heel wearing but puts up with it. I made it well clear when we started dating that I love heels and that she needs to love all of me. any who these are the heels I got $15usd as 75% off. really well made too. Already planning and outing in them..

These look great - from ASOS, I can tell right away   I almost bought some as well (the black were on sale a while ago), but I didn't like the shape of the heel so much. Would love to hear your feedback on them. Enjoy! 

* * * 

 

21 hours ago, bluejay said:

I too like to match my shoes to the top I'm wearing. I make shoe decisions both ways. Sometimes I will pick out heels to match my ensemble and other times I like to pick an ensemble, then match it up with my shoes or boots.

Happy Heeling,

bluejay

Funny, I was thinking about this just yesterday -  when my wife was putting on a pair of boots. How she often pairs her brown leather boots (flat - see here: https://hhplace.org/gallery/image/9112-flat-tan-leather-boots/ ), how she'll match them with a scarf, belt etc. I really like that part, but obviously have less options available to me! When I choose to heel, I will obviously take the weather into account (summer, winter - for boots, pumps or heeled sandals), but also the color of my trousers that day. I love my black boots and heels, and find obviously that they are the most flexible, though at the advice of my wife at some point, also started looking at other colors.

 

[Chaosheels]

On 1/4/2019 at 3:48 PM, HappyinHeels said:

Chaosheels,

This is the part where I don't get women. She may be worried what others may think if you go but are you worried when she wears pants? Has a tattoo? Has very short hair? These are all things women have adopted in my lifetime and the sky didn't fall. As Steve63130 said,  the event is a fundraiser for a women's cause. To hell with the trailer court antics of stares and laughing. The point is to see the world via another perspective and if that isn't good enough for some other spectators then may they all gag on their cigarettes and ignorance. HinH 

Haha I know right she wears my clothes and shoes even my undies all the time but when the gloves on the other hand she makes me feel so bad for even uttering a word she don't care what ppl think of her but with me it's a big shame I don't get it at all

[highheel111]

@jeremy1986 I love the heels!!!  never had strappy heels usually go for a classic pump  loving the colour too.

[jeremy1986]

5 hours ago, highheel111 said:

@jeremy1986 I love the heels!!!  never had strappy heels usually go for a classic pump  loving the colour too.

They look stunning - good choice mate!  Enjoy them :-) 

[Chaosheels]

11 hours ago, highheel111 said:

@jeremy1986 I love the heels!!!  never had strappy heels usually go for a classic pump  loving the colour too.

Very nice :) love the color and your toenails just finish the look ;)

[Chorlini]

On 1/4/2019 at 5:48 AM, HappyinHeels said:

Chaosheels,

This is the part where I don't get women. She may be worried what others may think if you go but are you worried when she wears pants? Has a tattoo? Has very short hair? These are all things women have adopted in my lifetime and the sky didn't fall. As Steve63130 said,  the event is a fundraiser for a women's cause. To hell with the trailer court antics of stares and laughing. The point is to see the world via another perspective and if that isn't good enough for some other spectators then may they all gag on their cigarettes and ignorance. HinH 

 

On 1/7/2019 at 3:37 AM, Chaosheels said:

Haha I know right she wears my clothes and shoes even my undies all the time but when the gloves on the other hand she makes me feel so bad for even uttering a word she don't care what ppl think of her but with me it's a big shame I don't get it at all

That's because to her you are also an accessory. How you look beside her reflects on her just as much as her own clothing choices do.

 

 

[Chaosheels]

15 hours ago, Chorlini said:

 

That's because to her you are also an accessory. How you look beside her reflects on her just as much as her own clothing choices do.

 

 

But once in while won't hurt her I've tried to explain this but I get nowhere

[jeremy1986]

17 hours ago, Chorlini said:

That's because to her you are also an accessory. 

Ouch

[Chorlini]

8 hours ago, Chaosheels said:

But once in while won't hurt her I've tried to explain this but I get nowhere

You expect to counter emotional judgments with logic? When has that ever worked?

5 hours ago, jeremy1986 said:

Ouch

Yeah, well, just to be sure, no judgments were intended. Things are as they are. But it helps to know where you stand exactly. We live in a time where our value as men in a relationship is no longer determined by being good providers. That ship has sailed. It's a whole new different ballgame now and I get the impression that on average women seem to understand this better then men.

[p1ng74]

On 1/8/2019 at 9:11 AM, Chorlini said:

 

That's because to her you are also an accessory. How you look beside her reflects on her just as much as her own clothing choices do.

 

 

I agree with the spirit of this statement too actually, and I don’t think it means that men are relegated to decorative roles next to our wives.  

We talk a lot in fashion about a “matching outfit” that pairs articles going together.  If you spend time watching people, you start to also see patterns of couples that “match” each other in the way they look and act, and based on the matching attributes you can tell that have been together or married a long time.  As with fashion, women tend to have a keener eye for this, but it can be learned.  This is how people who work high end retail and sales develop intuitions on whether two people are “together” when they are browsing a store.  

It is natural for married people to want to appear to be “together” when they are out and about, and over time our wardrobe and overall look gravitates towards habits that result in my wife and I “matching” each other.  The details happen unconsciously, as overthinking it usually yields awkward results.  When we go out, I look like my wife’s husband, and she looks like my wife, and it all happens without much thinking.  

This context is significant because for me, wearing heels can be a huge disruption of this.  My wife never wears heels.  I looked through her shoes once and only found one pair over 1”.  She also rarely wears skirts and dresses.  In our 11 years of marriage this continues to work because it “matches” us as a couple.  It is going to take time before it would ever make sense for me to wear 4” heels when we go out together.  Currently, they would clash with the loafers that she usually wears.  

Based on inspiration here at HHP, I have discovered that it is relatively easy for a man to add heels into fashion in a way that evolves whatever they already have going on.  Since I do a bit of traveling and working alone, it’s a fun way to break up monotony and push creativity.  But I also realize I have to be realistic when it comes to relationships.  Accepting an individual fashion style is a much smaller task than evolving two people’s wardrobe and habits as a single unit.  Communication and creativity will prevail, and we’ll work something out.  

[Shyheels]

You make an interesting and thoughtful point about matching and mismatching as couples, especially as regards the introduction of heels. I had not considered that aspect of it in quite that way before. Think you're onto something. Thanks for the food for thought...

 

[HappyinHeels]

While what Chorlini said initially made my eyebrow go up I realize there's a certain amount of truth to it. I believe women everywhere want to feel comfortable with whichever man is at their side. Certainly women committed to a meaningful marriage want to. I also recognize there are those who actually view men as an accessory and those unions are destined for divorce. Good marriages and great relationships are those which put shared values of faith, loyalty, and effective communication above everything else. I believe that's the point p1ng74 is making. He likes his fashion sense but likes his marital sense even more. HinH

[Shyheels]

It is much the same with men and their trophy wives. Equality! None of these shallow kinds of relationship ever really work. 

Edited January 9, 2019 by Shyheels

[HappyinHeels]

Oh to be sure! There is certainly no lack of boorish behaviour on men's part but the conversation was focused on how women see men and that's how I replied. Speaking of relationships, my wife will be home soon and may want to go out and eat as we do usually once a week so I should probably get ready for that. HinH