Master Resource: General Public Discussions of men in heels

[kneehighs]

So there's an article in NYMAG.com titled "Jerry Saltz On His First Time In High Heels" which is worth a read. I discovered the article through this Stylite link.

[Curt]

What is really comes down to is, heels are amazing! It doesn't matter what gender you are. For me, 4" heels are tge most comfortable, and they have to have loud, plastic tips. That's the whole allure of heels. Guys, don't be scared and strut your stuff like you can. A ton of women will love it. Believe iit or not, a lot of women can't walk at all in heels.

[SleekHeels]

I totally couldn't relate to all that pain the instant of standing up (any pain only comes after hours of too much standing or walking). I think high heels get a lot of bad press when the problem is usually badly fitting shoes... "putting them on wasn't easy" doesn't sound right, a good-fitting pair will slip on effortlessly. Be in awe of the gorgeousness, not the endurance of pain!

[Heelster]

Bad Fit- -?? According to this dude, we must all be badass MFers.

[JeffB]

I totally couldn't relate to all that pain the instant of standing up (any pain only comes after hours of too much standing or walking). I think high heels get a lot of bad press when the problem is usually badly fitting shoes... "putting them on wasn't easy" doesn't sound right, a good-fitting pair will slip on effortlessly. Be in awe of the gorgeousness, not the endurance of pain!

I couldn't agree more. Why endure that sort of discomfort when you don't have to? Doesn't make a lick of sense to me.

[AZShoeNut]

Okay, I would say that he is exagerating just a little bit. Maybe if it was his firsr time and he did a Walk a Mile event he might feel like that but a couple minutes at an art event come on. I will add that the barista at my coffee house tried his fiance's 5-inch heels after a few of my initial visits and he in so many words siad I was a bad ass MFer. :-)

[Steve63130]

This story was entertainment, not enlightenment. Don't read too much into it. It was amusing, but not educational. Steve

[kneehighs]

Surprised Aquazzura's use of Men In Heels at the 2013 Pitti Uomo's menswear presentation in Florence didn't make mention here. Pitti is after all The Trade Show of Trade Shows for menswear, the Paris Fashion Week of menswear by which many other menswear ideas "trickle down"

http://fashionista.c...rinas-in-heels/

“It was a little bit tricky [to get the male models to wear heels], but then they came onto it. As soon as they put them on they were all taking pictures and Instagraming them and Tweeting them, and they were having fun. At the end of the day, they were having a blast. I like fashion to be fun.”

[Jimnj3]

Thanks! Love it!

[JeffB]

Surprised Aquazzura's use of Men In Heels at the 2013 Pitti Uomo's menswear presentation in Florence didn't make mention here. Pitti is after all The Trade Show of Trade Shows for menswear, the Paris Fashion Week of menswear by which many other menswear ideas "trickle down"

http://fashionista.c...rinas-in-heels/

Very interesting indeed. It certainly made for good reading. Thanks for bringing this piece to our attention.

[kneehighs]

A summer camp for gender non-conforming pre-teen boys http://www.slate.com/blogs/behold/2013/07/15/_you_are_you_looks_at_a_gender_nonconforming_camp_for_boys_photos.html

[JeffB]

A summer camp for gender non-conforming pre-teen boys

http://www.slate.com...oys_photos.html

How charming. It's nice to see that people CAN be openminded when it comes to gender. And that camp certainly looked interesting.

[Steve63130]

That's a great way to teach tolerance! I'm all for it. That's the kind of help these kids need and can benefit from. And it brings parents together who can share their experiences and know that their child is not alone in his situation...kind of like this forum brings us together so we know there are others out there with our interest in heels. Steve

[Curt]

What a great idea! I would have liked to go to a camp like that when I was a kid. They are able to be themselves.

[AZShoeNut]

That would have really been something to have gone to a camp like that. Thing is I kept this stuff a total secret until my late teens or early twenties. I did go to camp as a teenager and it was a great camp that encouraged each of us to truly be ourselves. One of the first people that I "came out" to was a friend who was a leader of those camps. She told me that it would have been great if I had chosen to wear my heels back when I was going to camp. Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda. Now the trick is to become aware of the opportunities that exist in the now before they become missed opportunities. Back to the camp mentioned here. It is a great idea. Hopefully parents are open enough and perceptive enough to actually involve the children for whom this camp is best suited.

[kneehighs]

An interesting video experiment done at Montgomery College in Takoma Park Maryland, just outside of Washington DC.

Follow up interviews with other students are included.

http://youtu.be/JO3cIuBHf-U?t=25s

Goes to show the need to exercise prudence with regards to the Time and Place at which one chooses to freestyle.

[Shafted]

Goes to show the need to exercise prudence with regards to the Time and Place at which one chooses to freestyle.

Not to mention what one dares to wear.

[Foxyheels]

I found this quite shocking, we do seem to be a group that it's still ok to taunt and have a go at. Yes different locations would give different results but a goo point made by the creator of the video. You would thing those who suffered hatred in previous years would be mor tolerant b clearly not. The stand out thing for mr thoug is the almost universal assumption he is gay, didn't even cross there mind he could still be hetro. We still have. Long way t go, the figh for acceptance goes on. This does inspire me on to more public heeling and more openness to challenge the way people think. We need to be proud of our fashion choices, things will never change if we stay in the shadows.

[JeffB]

Goes to show the need to exercise prudence with regards to the Time and Place at which one chooses to freestyle.

I couldn't agree more. I'm always careful about where I go and only visit places where I feel both safe and comfortable.

[Chorlini]

You would thing those who suffered hatred in previous years would be mor tolerant b clearly not.

That comes as a surprise to you? Clearly you haven't studied your history. It's full of the formerly abused who became abusers. I fully expect us to do the same to some other group once we gain public acceptance.

The stand out thing for mr thoug is the almost universal assumption he is gay, didn't even cross there mind he could still be hetro.

Well, almost all of the famous transvestites have been gay, British comedians aside. You only have to look at your average gay pride march to see some drag queens. So I'm not surprised that in the minds of the average person this lead to the conclusion that guy wearing women's clothes = gay. Also in my experience gay drag queens tend to be loud, flamboyant and brash as f***, whereas straight men wearing women's clothes tend to be more reserved. Maybe its because when you're gay you've already crossed a mayor threshold by coming out as gay, so going full on in drag becomes relatively minor in comparison. Whereas for us going out in heels and/or women's clothes IS the major threshold.

[Foxyheels]

That comes as a surprise to you? Clearly you haven't studied your history. It's full of the formerly abused who became abusers. I fully expect us to do the same to some other group once we gain public acceptance.

Whereas for us going out in heels and/or women's clothes IS the major threshold.

I's probably more to do with them not knowing their history and not being told how badly certain groups were treated. I won't be part of targeting another group if we were accepted and hope others wouldn't either.

There are also many people in history who have suffered great abuse and made a difference and effected change, they are the ones who should be role models. I'm afraid I can't understand the abused becoming the abuser situation, I know it happens but I don't get it.

More of us need to cross the hetro heeling wearing threshold then and change things.

[HappyinHeels]

Foxyheels, I think Chorlini makes a true point about many formerly abused becoming abusers but that is a result of a choice. Life is full of choices to be made. Part of me is Native American or actually First Nations in Canada and I could hate whites for what happened to tribes (think of the Blackfoot massacre in the late 1800's) or I could choose not to be a victim and instead be the agent of tolerance for all. I have a choice to carry a chip on my shoulder or not. If more formerly abused people actualy thought this simple idea through so much of our country and planet would be better off. Remove the ego and you remove the hate. Remove the hate and you remove the problem. I cannot be at peace with my brother be it a coworker, a bear that visits my yard, or the big oak tree that hangs over me if I am not at peace with myself. People need to stop complaining, stop playing the victim, and stop seeking vengence by becoming the abusers and show the one thing the world needs so much more of..........positive reinforcement in the form of tolerant and peaceful human beings. It all starts with an individual making a choice. HappyinHeels

[ilikekicks]

This is in regards to nobody in specific but just a ' relating ' type of perspective of my own.

Someone mentioned they wish that camp was around when they were a kid.

The reason Im into music came about as my mother FORCED me to the piano when I was 4 years old. When I was 7 or 8, I did a recital. When I was 10 ( maybe 11? ) I went to a summer camp for ' musicians '. All my ' friends ' played and had fun, whilst I spent a couple weeks with other kids and young/full adults sharing musical ideas and doing the whole ' music ' thing. I actually came to like going there.

When I returned home to the ' real world ' though, I was very depressed. Going to the camp was like a ' dream ' where I actually enjoyed something I wasnt at all proud of ( at that time ) and then I was plunged back into a reality that I couldnt change.

At best, ' Camp ' was a ' break ' for a very short time. It built up my expectations that maybe I would learn something and my friends wont think Im just a dweeb behind a keyboard/piano anymore. Maybe they would say ' wow he has talent now '..

Camp was an enjoyment for myself, but returning and going back to the same ' routine ' was a severe let-down.

Those young kids at that camp will have the time to actually wear what they want or be as open or have fun as they wish.. but the ' dreaming ' ends the moment they leave and they will have to be told ' sorry ' or experience a form of discouragement of going back to being put-down or laughed at.

Theres 2 sides to that coin.

I found this quite shocking, we do seem to be a group that it's still ok to taunt and have a go at. Yes different locations would give different results but a good point made by the creator of the video. You would thing those who suffered hatred in previous years would be mor tolerant b clearly not.

Very true.

*I* wouldnt look to hire a ' white ' person when I owned/ran my business. It was for personal reasons as I didnt think they would add ' flavor ' or ' variety ' that I liked in my ' crew '.

My ' foreman ' was named Marvin ( sp?). He was an older guy whom grew up in Alabama in the 1950's/1960's. He had 20 years of age on me.

Hes what I learned to call ' good colored folk ' ( one of his terms ). He remembered having to sit on the back of the bus. He remembered the ' no negros allowed ' signs on stores. He remembered what it was like to be discriminated against and he also helped to remind me how good I have it in my life that I didnt have to witness or face such first hand.

He used to tell the 2 younger colored guys that worked with us they didnt know much and they overlook the blessings in life they have. He used to tell them to be proud of whom they are.. ( right after telling them to pull up their pants, stand up straight, quit scratching.. ) not ' what ' they are. He kept us all ' in line '. We werent a bunch of colored folk and a Puerto Rican, we were just ' people '.

He couldnt understand how ' Colored folks ' can call each other Nigger. He didnt understand how I didnt care if someone called me a Spic. We didnt understand how HE ' couldnt understand ' how some might view such comments as discriminatory when most saw them as ' slang '.

His passing was one of the reasons I closed my business as he is/was irreplaceable. Not as a worker, not as a minority or some religions thing ( christian, muslim, jew, buddest.. ) but as a human being. If you asked him what he was, he would tell you ' Im just a hard worker. I aints no slouch ' and he was VERY proud when he said it. No nationality or ethnic title was ever mentioned. He didnt believe in such ' barriers '. I learned such from him and will say Im damn proud to have learned all I have from a man of such calibre. If my father was half the man Marvin is/was , I would have grown up to be a better man myself.

We think we know what discrimination is. Honestly, Ive been called a lot of things in my days but I dont feel that I have been discriminated against at all when I roll through my memories of the history Marvin told me of his up bringing. Some of his tales actually had *me* scared. Some very bad images and thoughts.

We all think we have it bad because we wear payless or midbrand shoes instead of something designer labeled. We complain they dont make a size 13 or larger heels that will fit. Then a person rolls by us in a wheelchair with no feet..

What I think people really need to do is keep it simple. Its just a pair of shoes on our feet. Its nothing more or nothing less. We ALL wear something on our feet at some point in our lives. Does it really matter what color the shoes are or even if they have a heel on them or whom makes them?

That comes as a surprise to you? Clearly you haven't studied your history. It's full of the formerly abused who became abusers. I fully expect us to do the same to some other group once we gain public acceptance.

In some ways, we already have.

Theres been many comments made about how some women cant walk in heels. There have been comments about how women have it so great because they can wear what they want..

Many of us are envious and are just hoping for the day when some kind of ' acceptance ' comes about so we can go out and flaunt.

Right now, most of us are quite humbled, especially in a public setting ( many wont even go out in public at all with heels!!! ).

*I* believe you are quite correct though.

[Jimnj3]

I really enjoyed your post!! When I first started in the auto business I started in the detail/clean up department. The fella I worked with, Vassie, was the nicest man I think I ever met. A fine southern colored man that I wish was still with us today. Always had a big smile and some interesting stories about growing up in Raleigh NC. We all need to appreciate what we have!

[kneehighs]

An article in the LA Times by John M. Glionna titled, "He's Tough Enough to be a Sissy in Wyoming"

 

It's about a crossdresser named Larry "Sissy" Goodwin, a Casper College instructor in Douglas, Wyoming.

 

Not necessarily about freestyling with heels, but Sissy doesn't attempt to pass as a female, therefore he falls under the classic freestyling definition of wearing women's wear, but as a man.

[JeffB]

An article in the LA Times by John M. Glionna titled, "He's Tough Enough to be a Sissy in Wyoming"

 

It's about a crossdresser named Larry "Sissy" Goodwin, a Casper College instructor in Douglas, Wyoming.

 

Not necessarily about freestyling with heels, but Sissy doesn't attempt to pass as a female, therefore he falls under the classic freestyling definition of wearing women's wear, but as a man.

 

Well, now, that was certainly interesting. Intriguing too. Mr. Goodwin darn sure is bold, doing what he likes and wearing what he likes. Yes, he is a classic example of a freestyler. Bravo to him!

[Gudulitooo]

Well from what I have seen on the internet, telling "I am a sissy" equals "I want to be or feel humiliated, and I give up my rights to a more dominant person" with no relation with fashion. I seldom fall on people only into the sissy clothing thing, with no apparent need for humiliation nor submission.

 

This is an interesting topic to debate you brought in, Kneehighs, thank you.

[Shafted]

Well he has the free part of freestyling down. Now he needs to actually have style that suits his body. Freestyling is much more than just wearing what you want. It's wearing what suits your body no matter what side of the store the items come from. This is how one goes from laughable to stylish.

 

Is he freestyling? Not in my book. I would call him a novelty. He makes a lot of us here look even better.

[kneehighs]

Well he has the free part of freestyling down. Now he needs to actually have style that suits his body. Freestyling is much more than just wearing what you want. It's wearing what suits your body no matter what side of the store the items come from. This is how one goes from laughable to stylish.

 

Is he freestyling? Not in my book. I would call him a novelty. He makes a lot of us here look even better.

 

I doubt anyone in  Douglas, Wyoming (population 6,280) is truly stylish.

 

I actually think he makes a lot of us here look like cowards, because he actually has the courage to publicly stand for his freedom in personal action and in the media.  You can count on one hand the number of people here that would do that.

[Gudulitooo]

Well I don't think the article's question is about this very guy freestyling or not.

But maybe rather, isn't there some "sissyness" hidden behind the wearing of heels, or anything labeled 'female', as a guy in general. Well coordinated or not.