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Have you been caught?

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Hi all, I was curios as to how you handle bumping into someone that you know, but doesn't know that you wear heels"

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Have you?

In my case, many times. Yet to be an issue.

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It's happened occasionally.  But instead of being “caught” I prefer to say that I was “discovered.”  Most times the fact that I am wearing gals shoes never comes up.  They may have noticed but nothing was said.  If folks do happen to notice or comment I usually ask if they like the shoes, and tell them that I really like the shoes that's why I'm wearing them.  

That usually ends the subject and we go onto something else.  

Then the "gossip" or rumor mill starts and either me or the wife get comments later asking if it was true that I was wearing high heels.  I confirm the rumor and more or less laugh it off.  With time most folks know or suspect that I wear heels and it has not really been a problem..   

Take care all....    sf

Edited by SF
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Heels are not that hard for me. It's a simple choice between "Pain killers" or "heels".  My nails, both fingernails and toenails, are explained many different ways...but it's simple change-able  body art and I enjoy it.

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Well, my partner is totally intolerant to my love of high heel boots, so usually only wear them on layovers (work for the airlines).   Coworkers have commented about my high heel cowgirl boots, but they could certainly pass for men's cowboy boots with 3.5" riding heels, no one has ever said anything negative though.  I was wearing a pair of 4" block heel booties once, and one of my coworkers (who had a few drinks) started to make some comments (nothing negative, just loud and drawing attention).  I just laughed and didn't really respond, but was uncomfortable with the alcohol fueled attention.  I'm sure the other coworkers I was with noticed the booties, but they said nothing....

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"Caught" implies we're doing something wrong or "underfoot" (pun intended). But we're not. We just have a personal preference that is different from (and better than) the norm. I've never been asked or confronted. In the 3.5 years we've lived in a retirement community, I've worn heels and occasionally ballet flats just about every day, people see me, I've seen them notice, but no one, I mean NO ONE has ever asked me why I wear what are obviously women's shoes. They just know I'm a nice guy and they're happy if I'm happy!

Steve

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2 hours ago, pebblesf said:

Well, my partner is totally intolerant to my love of high heel boots, so usually only wear them on layovers (work for the airlines).   Coworkers have commented about my high heel cowgirl boots, but they could certainly pass for men's cowboy boots with 3.5" riding heels, no one has ever said anything negative though.  I was wearing a pair of 4" block heel booties once, and one of my coworkers (who had a few drinks) started to make some comments (nothing negative, just loud and drawing attention).  I just laughed and didn't really respond, but was uncomfortable with the alcohol fueled attention.  I'm sure the other coworkers I was with noticed the booties, but they said nothing....

They - your co-workers - were probably made more uncomfortable by the drunken loudmouth than whatever footwear you might have been wearing.

A pity your partner is not more understanding. 

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thank you for all of the replies I was just wondering what peoples reactions were, thanks again

 

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20 hours ago, Shyheels said:

They - your co-workers - were probably made more uncomfortable by the drunken loudmouth than whatever footwear you might have been wearing.

A pity your partner is not more understanding. 

Yeah, a big problem for sure.....

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2 hours ago, pebblesf said:

Yeah, a big problem for sure.....

And when you think it is just a pair of boots, nothing more...

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Since I wear heels every day and everywhere, getting "caught" applies only to a certain segment of people in my life, and that would be my coworkers. I work construction, so I am unable to wear high heels at work. I have attended some outside of work get-togethers in heels, but it's unusual. Every once in a while, I'll run into somebody from work who doesn't know I wear heels. I've never really gotten a comment about it one way or the other.

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Last time a gay gave me some flack for my 4" block heel boots I just asked the guy if he wanted a pair and I would order a pair for him. He changed the subject!

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1 hour ago, Pumped said:

Last time a gay gave me some flack for my 4" block heel boots I just asked the guy if he wanted a pair and I would order a pair for him. He changed the subject!

He probably already had a pair at home and was just beefing up his ‘man credentials’ by giving you a stir

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1 hour ago, Pumped said:

Last time a gay gave me some flack for my 4" block heel boots I just asked the guy if he wanted a pair and I would order a pair for him. He changed the subject!

You know he was just jealous, and wanted a pair in the worst way!

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About to head downtown with my nine West 5 inch block heel ankle boots. May run into someone else who doesn't know, we'll see.

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Didn't run into anyone I know, but did enjoy the day. Many saw a guy in  heels with his wife and dog. A family with several kids came over to pet my dog while sitting legs out on the grass, dog up against my heels, no issue no comments as it  should be. 

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Exactly as it should be. It's nobody's business what you choose to wear.

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A few years back , I ran into one of the girls from my old high school working in a shoe store in Louisville , KY . I was wearing a pair of my wedge pumps and black jeans . She said when did you start wearing heels . Wanting to down play the situation I just said "you didn't know ?" She responded with how long ? I said since our school days . She said "seems like I knew that " Funny how people seem to remember things with just implying something . It was a great visit and I purchased many more pair there until she could find a better job . 

 

 

 

 

 

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You played that well. So did she. 

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Not sure because people i do know like my Mom's Neighbour pretended not seeing me as we walked along strip mall parking lot almost side by side yet never acknowledging me with simple hello. Do know the neighbours  with children where my mom  and my little niece live, suddenly after being seen heeling by the gossiping neighbour have intense eyeballs on me when i'm around doing chores around the home. Even the neighbourhood kids are not permitted to play with my niece for some strange reason. Before my neighbour seen me in the parking lot in heels at the strip mall all the children in the neighbourhood played together including my niece. 

Believe my gossiping neighbour seeing me in heels awhile ago starting talking. Whenever i'm visiting moms neighbours observed me in only sneakers never heels. Only one neighbourly couple with young child plays with my niece that has no contact with our friendly gossiping neighbour who seen me in heels, coincidence? The same neighbourly mom who few summer's ago seen me shirtless washing the car on driveway as she walked her daughter in a stroller to the park. Her reaction to her husband was Woe, OMG! then chuckled... husband replied to her you like that? As last summer i was shirtless again sticking permits on license plates of my moms car in the summers heat. The neighbourly ogling mom with female friends trailing behind walking from the park asked her. Is this the man you talked about that walks around naked? She nodded saying Oh Yah! While it confused me why neighbourhood mom felt wearing no shirt constituted being described as naked. Either way her kid is allowed to play with my niece for now.

 

So my heeling does effect my young nieces friendships in the neighbourhood. Who knows what the gossiping once thought of as friend, "neighbour" has told everyone or believes about me. Talk about heartbreaking for my little niece watching  other kids play not knowing why other kids exclude or run away from her.Only  because the overbearing moms told the kids  to stop playing with her, not allowed to visit or have contact with my niece. 

Did have hint early on when i washed my moms car on a visit while on the driveway wearing short shorts in summer months and the one neighbourhood mom started chucking upon me. Soon as i heard the reaction i knew exactly what type of woman this is. Add the additional info from the gossiping neighbour of my proclivity wearing woman tight jeans, heels it's way to strange for the neighbour to grasp. Neighbourhood moms not taking chances with her kids to interact with my niece because they maybe in contact with me is so painful to notice. 

Stigma of heeling male is odd for suburban moms to understand she rather create division with my niece and her kids. While both sides suffer her children confused and question why they need to keep away only to get her mom angry. While only remedy is buy the latest or best toys gadgets pets for my niece to play with and other kids envious wanting to play also.

 

Edited by MackyHeels
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Have you been caught? Interesting concept for some of you, but I wear shorts with my heels in the summer months, so the concept of being "caught" is mute.

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18 hours ago, MackyHeels said:

Not sure because people i do know like my Mom's Neighbour pretended not seeing me as we walked along strip mall parking lot almost side by side yet never acknowledging me with simple hello. Do know the neighbours  with children where my mom  and my little niece live, suddenly after being seen heeling by the gossiping neighbour have intense eyeballs on me when i'm around doing chores around the home. Even the neighbourhood kids are not permitted to play with my niece for some strange reason. Before my neighbour seen me in the parking lot in heels at the strip mall all the children in the neighbourhood played together including my niece. 

Believe my gossiping neighbour seeing me in heels awhile ago starting talking. Whenever i'm visiting moms neighbours observed me in only sneakers never heels. Only one neighbourly couple with young child plays with my niece that has no contact with our friendly gossiping neighbour who seen me in heels, coincidence? The same neighbourly mom who few summer's ago seen me shirtless washing the car on driveway as she walked her daughter in a stroller to the park. Her reaction to her husband was Woe, OMG! then chuckled... husband replied to her you like that? As last summer i was shirtless again sticking permits on license plates of my moms car in the summers heat. The neighbourly ogling mom with female friends trailing behind walking from the park asked her. Is this the man you talked about that walks around naked? She nodded saying Oh Yah! While it confused me why neighbourhood mom felt wearing no shirt constituted being described as naked. Either way her kid is allowed to play with my niece for now.

 

So my heeling does effect my young nieces friendships in the neighbourhood. Who knows what the gossiping once thought of as friend, "neighbour" has told everyone or believes about me. Talk about heartbreaking for my little niece watching  other kids play not knowing why other kids exclude or run away from her.Only  because the overbearing moms told the kids  to stop playing with her, not allowed to visit or have contact with my niece. 

Did have hint early on when i washed my moms car on a visit while on the driveway wearing short shorts in summer months and the one neighbourhood mom started chucking upon me. Soon as i heard the reaction i knew exactly what type of woman this is. Add the additional info from the gossiping neighbour of my proclivity wearing woman tight jeans, heels it's way to strange for the neighbour to grasp. Neighbourhood moms not taking chances with her kids to interact with my niece because they maybe in contact with me is so painful to notice. 

Stigma of heeling male is odd for suburban moms to understand she rather create division with my niece and her kids. While both sides suffer her children confused and question why they need to keep away only to get her mom angry. While only remedy is buy the latest or best toys gadgets pets for my niece to play with and other kids envious wanting to play also.

 

I'm actually not surprised. 

 

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12 hours ago, Cali said:

Have you been caught? Interesting concept for some of you, but I wear shorts with my heels in the summer months, so the concept of being "caught" is mute.

Sure, you might go around in shorts and heels all the time but that doesn't mean you couldn't bump into someone you hadn't seen for ages, or who just came in from out of town, and is surprised to see you in heels - 'caught' as it were.  

I would take issue with the term 'caught, as it' implies some sort of wrong doing or guilt. Not the case of course. 

Edited by Shyheels
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4 hours ago, Shyheels said:

Sure, you might go around in shorts and heels all the time but that doesn't mean you couldn't bump into someone you hadn't seen for ages, or who just came in from out of town, and is surprised to see you in heels - 'caught' as it were.

That happened last week at the post office, saw a former physical therapist of mine. She said they hadn't seen me is some time. I said that's because I haven't had ankle problems since I switched to women's shoes. And no hip problems since I started to wear high heels.

Wearing heels is now just second nature to me. I've worn high heels almost everywhere for over 3 years now. There are some places I might wear boots, and I still get nervous at times. 

Edited by Cali
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I had in interesting adventure a couple of months ago.  I took about a half mile walk around noon one Sunday as it is typically quiet.  Probably a combination of it being Sunday and folks at church.  I was wearing Payless 3.5 in heel oxfords under long pants that covered the shoe.  Also, the heel noise was covered up by the traffic.  As I was walking, I saw a few people ahead and crossed the street.  As I walked on the other side, I saw a few folks about a half block ahead, so I crossed again.  Lo and behold, they crossed to my side of the street (darn it), and were passing me when one called my name!  I knew him, but hadn't seen him in a long while.  We chatted for a few minutes and was giving me a quizzical look as I was about three inches taller than he probably remembered!  LOL!!  He looked down twice but didn't say anything out of the ordinary.   We exchanged phone numbers and went on our separate journeys.  As I walked away, I looked back but he didn't seem to look at me as I walked away.  Fortunately, the rest of the walk was uneventful.

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Was he taller than you remembered? Maybe those quizzical looks were because he was wondering if you’d noticed his heels!

Edited by Shyheels
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Nope,

He was definitely shorter!

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I would echo what Steve63130 said on "caught" implying one was doing something illegal or immoral and a man wearing heels is neither of these. Look at all the things women do. Pants, shorts, skirts, dresses, suits, sandals, pumps, low heels, medium heels, high heels, flats, black hair this week, brown hair next week, blonde hair with a different color highlight and not one of them would ever have the notion of being "caught". They're just doing what comes naturally which is expressing themselves via their fashion. Remember what I have always said; "Make the world accept you on YOUR terms and nobody else." This only comes from the confidence you exude. The world does like confident people and always has. Whether that is said aloud or not is not important. Everyone in any country who gets things done is a confident person whether subtly or more overtly but confidence is the common fabric of organized and successful people everywhere and the world notices these traits. Life is exceedingly short so please don't squander it on useless rear-view mirrors for the excitement is straight ahead. Stay heeled my friends 8)  HappyinHeels

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I don't think it's so much as "being caught" as it is simply "avoiding Certain people from finding out". At least, that's how I read it. I think some just read too in to the subject ;)

I, for one, have not. Though I have been surprised to not get any responses. When I worked at Target and then transitioned into Walmart, I bought a pair of the Kangaroos from Payless, form the womens' side of the store. The colors were sorta out there but not by a whole lot. And rightfully so because no one mentioned them! At all!

My last job allowed for us to come in wearing, essentially, what we slept in. We had to change into a uniform that consisted of steel toes so I took advantage of it and wore my flatform sandals often. Me being the 'shy guy' that I am, I'd avoid confrontation when entering And leaving the building, especially on days that I wore shorts so the sandals were on full display. But even after all that, no comments. No word on my shoes. Was as if I was not even trying to get attention!

With working at Walmart - one of the bigger locations - I could probably get away with wearing heels out to the mall across the street or related areas, but I'm fearful that one of the places I frequent has that one like-minded coworker whom goes there as much as I do.. ;(

Edited by ChipsHH
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On ‎5‎/‎21‎/‎2018 at 10:53 PM, Cali said:

That happened last week at the post office, saw a former physical therapist of mine. She said they hadn't seen me is some time. I said that's because I haven't had ankle problems since I switched to women's shoes. And no hip problems since I started to wear high heels.

Wearing heels is now just second nature to me. I've worn high heels almost everywhere for over 3 years now. There are some places I might wear boots, and I still get nervous at times. 

I respect your confidence in that you wear your heels all the time, and realize it is mostly for health reasons.  I also respect your honesty in admitting that even a veteran heeler such as yourself can admit to being "nervous at times"....Don

On ‎6‎/‎19‎/‎2018 at 3:19 AM, vector said:

I had in interesting adventure a couple of months ago.  I took about a half mile walk around noon one Sunday as it is typically quiet.  Probably a combination of it being Sunday and folks at church.  I was wearing Payless 3.5 in heel oxfords under long pants that covered the shoe.  Also, the heel noise was covered up by the traffic.  As I was walking, I saw a few people ahead and crossed the street.  As I walked on the other side, I saw a few folks about a half block ahead, so I crossed again.  Lo and behold, they crossed to my side of the street (darn it), and were passing me when one called my name!  I knew him, but hadn't seen him in a long while.  We chatted for a few minutes and was giving me a quizzical look as I was about three inches taller than he probably remembered!  LOL!!  He looked down twice but didn't say anything out of the ordinary.   We exchanged phone numbers and went on our separate journeys.  As I walked away, I looked back but he didn't seem to look at me as I walked away.  Fortunately, the rest of the walk was uneventful.

Good for you, doesn't it feel great to face uneasy situations/meetings, but have your fears squashed when everything works out just fine...

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