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Unhiding my heels


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12 hours ago, mlroseplant said:

I spent most of my life thinking that. Finally, I came to the conclusion that if I don't wear the stuff myself, it ain't gonna get worn.

That was a pithy statement, and probably would have been most effective if I had hit "Submit Reply" and been done with it. But I didn't instead. You see, there's more to it than Who Wears The Pants In The Family. Let's dissect this for a second. "I wish my wife would dress like that." Without going into great detail, I was once married to a woman who did dress "like that." In the end, it's impossible to live vicariously through someone else. Which brings me to the first part of your statement, which is, "That's what I wanted to wear." [emphasis mine] And that's where you finally end up. Good luck to you.

Wow. Very profound! Need to think about that!

I'll say, reflecting back, I do agree with you. The "liberating freedom" I felt during that trip was massive.

 

51 minutes ago, Puffer said:

I agree.   I've always had an 'interest' in heels - initially as an observer and admirer of the women who wore them but with a growing desire to 'try' them for myself, which was not realised for many years and is still largely unfulfilled.    Meanwhile, most of the women I have had a relationship with have worn heels to some extent, although - and this will hardly surprise you, dear reader - never to the degree or with the enthusiasm that I would wish.   And, in the case of my first wife and my present wife, with growing reluctance coupled with the firmly-expressed view that my 'interest' (even just as an admirer) amounts to a perversion.   The question remains as to whether I would be satisfied if my wife and other women in my circle were active heel-wearers?   My honest answer is 'not entirely' - the desire to wear heels myself will not be eliminated although I think it would be less marked.   After all, as Confucious may have said (but probably didn't): 'The poor man is unlikely to be satisfied because he sees others with wealth around him!'

Again, food for thought, for me. And I share your experiences with the "perversion" part. I'm sure that most people who see a guy in heels assume he's gay, or sick or something. I don't get why...

But, “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.” (Gandhi), so I'm trying...

-----------------

 

I couldn't resist. Went out shopping again. Similar outfit as above, but with a more casual (denim) mini-skirt. Pulled up to a store, sat around, and at the end decided not to go in. Went to a close-by thrift store, and after ~30s got out of the car. Again, as soon as I'm on my feet (toes? they were 4" heels 😁 ), I'm good. So walked in, checked out the shoes, skirts, and a few other things I was interested in, and left. Ended up buying one mini-skirt, one that I knew I had to buy as soon as I looked at it. With a bolstered confidence, decided to go back to the first store and try again. On the way, changed into the skirt I just bought (again, love at first sight). Parked, immediately got out, went in. Was in the store for ~30 minutes. Felt super comfortable. Heels clearly showing. I think I looked good.

No one said a word.

I know there's a great discussion in another few threads about some threads going off topic into cross-dressing. I hope the fact that I was wearing mini-skirts is OK, and I can keep reporting the outings. I'm hoping that you can see I still think heels are a necessity.

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I'm going to post my outings in this thread, just to share.  A few things about me: Have been married for a long time, with kids. My wife knew about my heels before we got married, but was never

OUTING: Am on a short trip. Yesterday I decided to be adventurous. On my way to the airport, I drove most of the way, parked, and changed into my 4" block light-brown heels, probably .5" platform beca

OUTING: Alright, so this is actually a comparison of two different outings on two different days. About a week ago I bought some shoes like the ones below in the image, similar style, but the colour i

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20 hours ago, hiddenheels said:

.,..

I couldn't resist. Went out shopping again. Similar outfit as above, but with a more casual (denim) mini-skirt. Pulled up to a store, sat around, and at the end decided not to go in. Went to a close-by thrift store, and after ~30s got out of the car. Again, as soon as I'm on my feet (toes? they were 4" heels 😁 ), I'm good. So walked in, checked out the shoes, skirts, and a few other things I was interested in, and left. Ended up buying one mini-skirt, one that I knew I had to buy as soon as I looked at it. With a bolstered confidence, decided to go back to the first store and try again. On the way, changed into the skirt I just bought (again, love at first sight). Parked, immediately got out, went in. Was in the store for ~30 minutes. Felt super comfortable. Heels clearly showing. I think I looked good.

No one said a word.

I know there's a great discussion in another few threads about some threads going off topic into cross-dressing. I hope the fact that I was wearing mini-skirts is OK, and I can keep reporting the outings. I'm hoping that you can see I still think heels are a necessity.

Don't you think that wearing a skirt is more extreme than wearing heels?   I am certainly not suggesting that you shouldn't wear a skirt - just that it is surely more obviously feminine apparel than heels (outside Scotland, anyway!).   I can 'risk' a public outing in discrete heels but I don't think I have the courage to wear a skirt, much as I might like the idea of doing so.

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23 hours ago, Puffer said:

I agree.   I've always had an 'interest' in heels - initially as an observer and admirer of the women who wore them but with a growing desire to 'try' them for myself, which was not realised for many years and is still largely unfulfilled.    Meanwhile, most of the women I have had a relationship with have worn heels to some extent, although - and this will hardly surprise you, dear reader - never to the degree or with the enthusiasm that I would wish.   And, in the case of my first wife and my present wife, with growing reluctance coupled with the firmly-expressed view that my 'interest' (even just as an admirer) amounts to a perversion.   The question remains as to whether I would be satisfied if my wife and other women in my circle were active heel-wearers?   My honest answer is 'not entirely' - the desire to wear heels myself will not be eliminated although I think it would be less marked.   After all, as Confucious may have said (but probably didn't): 'The poor man is unlikely to be satisfied because he sees others with wealth around him!'

I think I understand your point of view here and would agree.  My better half is less than happy about my love of boots...But, even if he wore boots also, I would still want to wear them myself......

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8 hours ago, Puffer said:

Don't you think that wearing a skirt is more extreme than wearing heels?   I am certainly not suggesting that you shouldn't wear a skirt - just that it is surely more obviously feminine apparel than heels (outside Scotland, anyway!).   I can 'risk' a public outing in discrete heels but I don't think I have the courage to wear a skirt, much as I might like the idea of doing so.

Interesting... I actually view the heels as more feminine. There are cloths that look sorta like skirts in different cultures, so at least there's some evidence of men wearing them. And I assume most people would argue that they are comfortable, whereas most people (not me) would argue heels aren't comfortable, so it's harder to come up with a good excuse for wearing heels.

I actually had no huge difficulty wearing skirts, whereas I've been struggling with wearing (without showing!) heels in public for decades now.

[I realize you don't need an excuse to wear whatever you want, I'm trying to formulate my thoughts and this is the best I can do]

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3 hours ago, hiddenheels said:

Interesting... I actually view the heels as more feminine. There are cloths that look sorta like skirts in different cultures, so at least there's some evidence of men wearing them. And I assume most people would argue that they are comfortable, whereas most people (not me) would argue heels aren't comfortable, so it's harder to come up with a good excuse for wearing heels.

I actually had no huge difficulty wearing skirts, whereas I've been struggling with wearing (without showing!) heels in public for decades now.

[I realize you don't need an excuse to wear whatever you want, I'm trying to formulate my thoughts and this is the best I can do]

I agree about the perception of comfort, and that skirts/kilts have some established precedent amongst males - but then again 'high heels' are not totally feminine, even in more recent times.   I think that acceptability in public does depend to some extent on degree and appearance - a skirt (of any style) can scarcely be hidden or disguised, whilst modest non-stiletto heels (say up to 3") attract very little attention even if visible, whilst anything higher and/or slimmer can be largely covered.   On the basis that nearly all footwear has some form of 'heel', it is surely easier for a man to push against the heel-height ceiling than to wear something around his legs that consists of one clearly-visible tube rather than two?   I continue to admire your courage - and don't let me stop you! 

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9 hours ago, Puffer said:

I agree about the perception of comfort, and that skirts/kilts have some established precedent amongst males - but then again 'high heels' are not totally feminine, even in more recent times.   I think that acceptability in public does depend to some extent on degree and appearance - a skirt (of any style) can scarcely be hidden or disguised, whilst modest non-stiletto heels (say up to 3") attract very little attention even if visible, whilst anything higher and/or slimmer can be largely covered.   On the basis that nearly all footwear has some form of 'heel', it is surely easier for a man to push against the heel-height ceiling than to wear something around his legs that consists of one clearly-visible tube rather than two?   I continue to admire your courage - and don't let me stop you! 

Love the "one clearly-visible tube rather than two"! :) So much bother is made because of "one tube" less than expected. haha

You make some valid points on visibility. And I do agree with you, thicker heels, even in the 4" range, will not really visible, and I'm starting to treat it as such, meaning I'm relatively comfortable outside in them. Stilettos require a lot more attention, and are a lot more visible (and fun). Still working on that.

I'm shy. Always have been. It has taken a lot of work to overcome this, and get used to being in front of people. I still really don't like to be the center of attention. I'm using these excursions to also challenge myself and get used to being criticized (or at least perceived to be criticized, since no one has actually said anything - aside from one complement on my skirt by a woman). I think my confidence is improving, and I'm trying to apply that to all aspects of my life, not just the way I (want to) dress.

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@hiddenheels

being shy is a quality. It means you don’t think the world is turning around you as the most important thing on earth. 

The day you overcome your shyness you are not far from having the perfect behavior. Because you won’t ever go over that fence and join these unbearable people who have no respect. 

Back to heels: wearing heels publicly is a huge challenge and help. It seems you are improving quickly 

And to end up,block heels seem to be more a manly style but are as noticeable as thin ones. For people who can watch you,Heels is what they notice whatever the shape they have. The problem is in our mind. 

 

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4 hours ago, Pierre1961 said:

@hiddenheels

...

And to end up,block heels seem to be more a manly style but are as noticeable as thin ones. For people who can watch you,Heels is what they notice whatever the shape they have. The problem is in our mind. 

 

Yes, high heels of any style may be equally noticeable visually.   Thin heels however are much more likely to advertise themselves by also being noisier.   A block or cuban heel is not intrinsically feminine - it is really only its height that suggests it is not conventional male wear.

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For many years, much to my enjoyment, my wife was happy to wear heels.  She wore heels to work basically every day, and to church on Sunday.  If we were going out to dinner or another function, more often than not she was wearing heels.  I still had my own desire to wear them, but was largely satisfied by her willingness to indulge me in my desire for her to wear heels.  About 15 years ago, she started having foot problems and then nerve issues.  Various surgeries later, heels were a total thing of the past.  There is no question that once that happened, my desire to wear them went up considerably, as I could no longer do so vicariously through her.  It has been difficult for me to deal with the fact that there is no chance in hell that she'll ever wear heels again.  These days she cannot even wear a dress style low/flat heel shoe.  Most everything she wears is a "comfort", nearly orthopedic style.  It has been a difficult pill for me to swallow.  As I've stated in the past, I am at a point where I feel it is too late to share my desire to wear heels, so my ability to do so is quite limited, especially since she is now home all day as well.  I'm trying hard to get past my issues but admit I am struggling.

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On 11/29/2020 at 5:16 PM, RonC said:

 Most everything she wears is a "comfort", nearly orthopedic style.  It has been a difficult pill for me to swallow.  As I've stated in the past, I am at a point where I feel it is too late to share my desire to wear heels, so my ability to do so is quite limited, especially since she is now home all day as well.  I'm trying hard to get past my issues but admit I am struggling.

I'm sorry to hear this. But at least it's an excuse for her to not wear heels. For you, are there really no opportunities? I had to make some opportunities on my own, stop along the way coming home from work. I feel for you.

 

---------

The other day I had to go shopping for food. Had a chance to wear my new 4.5" heel stiletto heeled ankle boots, under pants. The outfit I think worked perfectly, and everything was manly, except for the shoes. Parked, got out of the car immediately, and did my thing. Visited a few stores and bought what I needed, spent about an hour or so out and about. It went great! No problems walking, the shoes are super-comfortable. No one said a word. I was very comfortable being out and had no problems getting out of the car. The shoes were obvious though, easily noticeable when walking.

----------

The day after, I had to buy some more stuff, but this time was able to dress a bit more "interesting". I decided to wear a red pleated mini-skirt, dark black leggings, my 4" combat boots, white shirt and black jacket. I think the outfit looked great. I'm driving along, and notice myself feeling really anxious. I parked, and the anxiety would not go away. Felt like throwing up. Had to sit around for a while and calm myself down. When I was calm enough, I got out, walked into the store. Had to buy some shoes (work-shoes, no heels). So went in, looked around, grabbed some shoes to try on, and tried them on, spent about 30 minutes there. When I calmed down, it was quite fun! I ended up going to 3-4 stores/malls to get all the stuff I needed. After the first "get out of the car" moment, the rest was no problems. No one said a word.

In one of the stores, by the entrance there was a lady, she looks me up and down, and proceeds to tell me the return policy. The way she did it gave me a chuckle.

I'm not sure what to do with the anxiety...

For the latest trip, this is the look I was going for:

e28715be4fcdb109b5003a9227a28b6f.jpg

 

Except white shirt, not black.

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14 hours ago, hiddenheels said:

I'm sorry to hear this. But at least it's an excuse for her to not wear heels. For you, are there really no opportunities? I had to make some opportunities on my own, stop along the way coming home from work. I feel for you.

I keep my heels in my car, so I can occasionally get out to a store for some heeling (which I happened to do last night.)  But the time is limited.  When I was still employed, I worked at home, and my wife worked in an office, so I had plenty of opportunities to wear heels all day at home, and I miss that.  My feet now let me know that I don't get to wear heels very often (as well as medication that I take that causes foot issues), as the ball of my feet will begin to ache after a pretty short time when out walking around.  

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11 hours ago, RonC said:

I keep my heels in my car, so I can occasionally get out to a store for some heeling (which I happened to do last night.)  But the time is limited.  When I was still employed, I worked at home, and my wife worked in an office, so I had plenty of opportunities to wear heels all day at home, and I miss that.  My feet now let me know that I don't get to wear heels very often (as well as medication that I take that causes foot issues), as the ball of my feet will begin to ache after a pretty short time when out walking around.  

:( I hear you. I had a similar setup before the virus, and had plenty of time alone at home, but no more. Whatever time I am out in heels always seems to be too short.

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Had a chance on Monday to visit two malls and a store for some mundane things. Was out and about for maybe an hour? Was coming home from work, so was in my work getup. Changed shoes into the same pair of 4.5" stiletto heels, the same ones from last week. I think they go wonderfully with my dress-pants and masculine getup, heels are covered but about 2" show. Anyway, walked around the stores, bought stuff, the shoes are super comfy. Bought a pair of 4" heeled combat boots in a store, the three sales ladies definitely noticed the shoes when I walked in. Went up to one of the sales ladies so she could get what I wanted, the other sales people suddenly had something to do and dispersed. :)

 

It was a lot of fun. Shoes are comfy, I felt great. I had no trouble getting out of the car.

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  • 3 months later...
Posted (edited)

Sorry for the lack of updates, life's been busy.

It's become sort of a routine. A few times a week when I go to work, I stop by a mall, switch into some heeled shoes and go in. Usually grab something at a coffee shop and sit in the food court and work for an hour. Sometimes I do some shopping/browsing. Usually am able to spend an hour doing this. Getting out of the car is not an issue 90% of the time anymore. I didn't expect those 4.5" stiletto boots I bought for USD$15 to change everything. They fit perfectly, and go with my casual-suit perfectly. They've become my go-to shoes, and have spent a lot of time in them already. I've gone back to the store I bought them from, hoping they would have another pair, but they didn't (had to ask the sales lady - and was wearing those same shoes while doing so!). Anyway, I attribute a lot of my progress to that pair of heels.

Womens Block High Heel Black Croc Ankle Boots Smart Work Office Size Sexy Size | eBay

 

 

 

Have also worn pumps a few times, and a few other pairs of boots. Usually with dress-pants, but sometimes with long jeans. Want to wear more pumps... Have worn skirts (without heels) a few times, trying to keep it professional looking, but they're super comfortable. Once in a rare while I am able to do skirts with heels, that's fun! :)

 

 

One of my most recent purchases is a pair that looks like this:

TOPSHOP Amoure Neoprene Stiletto Boots in Grey (Gray) - Lyst

I just find those to be awesome in shape, colour, everything. And, to me, they look quite manly under dress-pants.

Anyway, lots of progress I think...

 

 

[why are my images squished??]

Edited by hiddenheels
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I'm glad you found something to wear with your normal guy clothes. I have never carried around shoes in the car for that very reason. If I'm not wearing heels, I'm probably wearing other clothing which would not go particularly well with heels. Some people would violently disagree with me and say that the rest of your outfit doesn't matter, but I refuse to wear filthy, greasy work jeans with heels. They don't go together.

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7 hours ago, mlroseplant said:

I'm glad you found something to wear with your normal guy clothes. I have never carried around shoes in the car for that very reason. If I'm not wearing heels, I'm probably wearing other clothing which would not go particularly well with heels. Some people would violently disagree with me and say that the rest of your outfit doesn't matter, but I refuse to wear filthy, greasy work jeans with heels. They don't go together.

Maybe a beat-up pair of heels would go well with your filthy, greasy work jeans.

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21 minutes ago, Cali said:

Maybe a beat-up pair of heels would go well with your filthy, greasy work jeans.

I agree with you melroseplant...  My boots would look silly while wearing my flight uniform....But, that isn't to say that the right pair of heels might not looker killer with worn/greasy jeans...Just depends I guess...

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The jeans I wear are definitely not worn/greasy. :)

 

But I agree, the overall outfit must match. I find if I'm wearing heels, I can spend 30 minutes just picking stuff out, and trying things on. Which is why these pair of heels work great, I know they fit the overall outfit, so I can just grab them and go. But family isn't supportive, so I can't exactly leave the home dressed like that. :(

 

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On 4/2/2021 at 5:30 AM, mlroseplant said:

I'm glad you found something to wear with your normal guy clothes. I have never carried around shoes in the car for that very reason. If I'm not wearing heels, I'm probably wearing other clothing which would not go particularly well with heels. Some people would violently disagree with me and say that the rest of your outfit doesn't matter, but I refuse to wear filthy, greasy work jeans with heels. They don't go together.

That’s why I’ve been wearing cowboy boots.  They go with just about everything:

spacer.png

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On 4/2/2021 at 10:00 PM, hiddenheels said:

The jeans I wear are definitely not worn/greasy. :)

 

But I agree, the overall outfit must match. I find if I'm wearing heels, I can spend 30 minutes just picking stuff out, and trying things on. Which is why these pair of heels work great, I know they fit the overall outfit, so I can just grab them and go. But family isn't supportive, so I can't exactly leave the home dressed like that. :(

 

I hear ya buddy, I only have a few pairs of levis that fit properly with my boots.  Sorry about the lack of support, same issue here....

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3 hours ago, pebblesf said:

I hear ya buddy, I only have a few pairs of levis that fit properly with my boots.  Sorry about the lack of support, same issue here....

I can kind of understand that feeling, although it’s not as acute with me. There have been a number of work functions/meetings where I could have worn heels, but chose not to because I felt it would make life easier. Funny thing is, if there’s anybody who could get away with it and not lose any respect, it would be me. I’m just not ready yet. I mean, we’re talking money and my livelihood here. 

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1 hour ago, mlroseplant said:

I can kind of understand that feeling, although it’s not as acute with me. There have been a number of work functions/meetings where I could have worn heels, but chose not to because I felt it would make life easier. Funny thing is, if there’s anybody who could get away with it and not lose any respect, it would be me. I’m just not ready yet. I mean, we’re talking money and my livelihood here. 

You are so right...  Your personal life and fashion choices are your business...  I often tell the new hires at my airline base:  "keep your personal and work life separate".... Boston is a small base, gossip travels at the speed of light... I get enough grilling from my coworkers just because I wear normal cowboy boots for work....  My real boots are saved for solo outings on layovers...

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On 4/4/2021 at 12:27 PM, pebblesf said:

You are so right...  Your personal life and fashion choices are your business...  I often tell the new hires at my airline base:  "keep your personal and work life separate".... Boston is a small base, gossip travels at the speed of light... I get enough grilling from my coworkers just because I wear normal cowboy boots for work....  My real boots are saved for solo outings on layovers...

Airlines might be one of the few vocations left where the uniform is so explicitly defined.  But the day that I saw people wearing flip-flops in the office was the day that I decided that I am not going to lose my job or respect for wearing 4" heels into the office.  In most offices now, self expression, rather than conformity, is encouraged.  

Edited by p1ng74
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