GF knows all about my HH fetish, advice needed!

[heeladdict]

Hi everyone,

My girlfriend found out about my high heels fetish before I got the courage to tell her myself. She was confused and, naturally, was asking a lot of questions about why I like doing this, how I feel when I do it etc. She found pieces of text and videos I had posted on another website, describing and showing me (no face of course) locking my stiletto pumps on with chains and padlocks and feeling awesome in the idea of the keys being unavailable for some time or hidden away from the house, trapping me in my high heels until I decided to walk there myself and get them back in public. Yes, she was weirded out at first and confused as I said. Lately, I noticed how she's tried viewing these videos again and keeps teasing me about my stilettos and my little ventures outside playfully. She has even mentioned the word "keyholder" (in other contexts of course), a word she had never used before. She now seems more familiar and comfortable with the idea, especially as I explained that it is just a fetish and doesn't say anything about my sexual preferences  as I am straight and love her to bits.

Now on to my question. In this online material that I had uploaded, I made a few references to a pouch of keys, where I keep all these keys that unlock my stiletto padlocks. I am absolutely positive that she read that bit so she knows about this pouch. So, about a week after all this, I set up a little "bait". Since we live together, I put the pouch with these keys (which was previously well-hidden) in the storage room in our house, a room that we use at least once a day normally. I put it on a shelf, among other things but it was clearly visible and probably the first thing you would see as you walked into this tiny room. I left it sitting there for 2 days hoping she'd notice it and co-relate the image of a pouch with what she's read in these stories of mine and possibly do something with it, i,e, take it with her two days later, when she's be going to work and I would be at home or hiding it somewhere so I couldn't find it. It didn't happen this way, the pouch was still there, where I had placed it, and she hasn't mentioned anything either, although she's still receptive to it or so it seems.

I don't want to push her into it obviously but, seeing how she's been OK with it for a while / making jokes about it, I would like to see if she'd be willing to play out this fantasy with me, keeping the keys when I am wearing my locked stilettos and teasing me or secretly hiding the keys so I would go ahead and trap myself in the stilettos, not knowing that the keys are no longer where I put them when she's away. That's how I do it lately, I manage not to check if the pouch is still there for a few days, then when she's i.e. at work, I simply lock my high heels on and see if the keys are there later.

So, any ideas on how I could go about doing this (preferably in a non-verbal symbolic way , as mentioned above, would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks!

[Steve63130]

You could put up a big poster that says "KEYS POUCH HERE----> (Do not remove)" Maybe that would get her attention?

Good luck!

Steve

[freestyle75]

Geez, first you don't have the courage to tell her, now you expect her to go on and on asking you about your fetish, so you can finally act out on your fantasies?

I am not sure whether you are doing this the right way. First, you should ask yourself what is more important to you: Your fetish or your girlfriend?

Second, ask yourself what your "dream" exactly looks like. Being locked up during a session in your bedroom? Being locked up during a weekend in your house? Walking around locked up while grocery shopping? -- this makes a huge difference as to how accepting she might be (if she accepts it at all).

Decide on this first and be very certain before going on.

Option 1 (girlfriend more important): Then, ask your girlfriend to sit down with you and have a talk with her. Tell her how much you love her, and reassure her that you will quit the whole fetish thingy of yours if she isn't comfortable with it. Ask her what SHE thinks of it. If she likes to entertain the idea: Make clear that this is only something confined to your bedroom / the house / this planet in your dream. Ask her whether she would like to try it out. If yes, don't put the keys somewhere where she first has to find them, give them to her. Can't be too hard.

If she doesn't like everything, quit it. Take whatever boots/shoes you have, and throw them out.

 

Option 2 (Fetish more important): Same as option 1, but emphasize that this is an important part of you, and that even if she doesn't like it, you will continue to do so.

 

In any case, it is important to learn what your girlfriend thinks of this. By the way - most women prefer a guy who is (slightly) dominant, not someone who wants a keyholder...

[Histiletto]

I doubt your girlfriend sees herself in the roles of a dominatrix as you seem to want to put her in. Taking a lead from my understanding of society, she thinks you are some kind of sissy and perverted sole. Talking with her and showing how much you care for her are good ways to begin clearing and restoring any of the meaningful relationship you had before the confusion of her discovery. Honesty and being true to her and yourself will bring a better understanding. As freestyle75 points out, your priorities will determine your relationship's continuance. I wish the best for both of you.

[HappyinHeels]

heeladdict,

All have given something to think about. I'd ask her why you haven't quizzed her about her wearing pants everyday or the tattoo she had or the sneakers she is wearing. Exactly, you'll get a blank stare as to what are you talking about. I do think the keyholder thing is inane. If you want to wear heels then "man-up" and wear them with no provisos. If she has playfully brought up the subject that tells me she is open to more dialogue about it which is what any relationship thrives on. What you say in Option 2 about this is a facet of your person and it will probably never go away is also an integral  part of Option 1. None of us can tell you exactly why we like high heels we just know it IS part of our identity. Always has been, and nearly universally, always will be. As soon as you accept this last inescapable fact the sooner you can develop a way to embrace both the relationship you're in and the identity that stirs inside you.   HappyinHeels

[Rockpup]

Having been in a fetish based relationship for 14 years I can only advocate honesty and openness. Good scenes only work when both people operate within agreed upon acceptable limits. Pushing someone past their acceptable limits leads to resentment, but letting someone's limits grow naturally can lead to a lifetime of joy between you two

Trust me, I am now comfortable doing stuff I was squeamish about in the beginning, and my husband was fine with me openly wearing heels to dinner the other night. 

[Rockpup]

Also, if she does go for it, make sure to spend an excessive amount of time taking care of her needs, as positive reinforcement does wonders

[chris100575]

I agree with Rockpup, you need to talk to her about this. I know that in your mind she's going to pick this up and run with it, but to be honest it's unlikely. You need to find out exactly how she feels about the idea, and what level of involvement she's comfortable with. It may be that she's happy to indulge you sometimes and act as keyholder, but then again it may be something that makes her feel uncomfortable and the jokes are her way of dealing with it.

As was said above, you need to find mutually acceptable boundaries, and the only way to do that is through discussion.

[pebblesf]

Listen to Rockpup.  It sure sounds to me like your GF is OK with your fetish already, she is making little jokes and not trying to ignore the whole situation.  I think it is time to have an open discussion about your heels, ask if you can model some for her.  There is no need to secretly try to "test the waters", I think you will find she is intrigued by your love of heels and looking forward to exploring your fetish with you!

 

[vector]

Heeladdict,

Do you and your girlfriend drink?  Perhaps you may want to schedule a nice candle light dinner at home (don't forget the rose in the vase), and have a bottle (or two) of wine available.  I suspect the wine will loosen both her and your inhibitions (and tongues) and you can start a dialogue on the topic of you in shoes.  Once that has been settled, ONLY THEN, should you go on to your fantasies.  The good news, is the way you describe it, she is joking with you about it and seems somewhat interested (maybe even receptive) about it. Be aware that it is very possible that she may go along with you once or twice, "enjoy the ride", then decode not to play along anymore.

Good luck and please let us know how you both get on.

[Amanda]

You need to be completely honest and open with her. Otherwise you'll end up building a web of falsehood and lies and ultimately fall through it and damage your relations.

Don't fall into the trap of trying to manipulate her into doing something she's not comfortable with. Just ask. If all of you chaps stuck to these basic rules then the world would be so much better for it.

[meganiwish]

Generally speaking, and this goes for both sexes, your concern should be directed to how you can make the object of your love happy rather than how you can get them to satisfy you.  If you make someone happy they really won't mind what else you do. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v044SCWA4LA

[HappyinHeels]

Well, a Brit said it and I'm reading it in Wisconsin so I'll raise my glass and say "I'll certainly drink to that!"   HappyinHeels or maybe HappyinSuds

[meganiwish]

In vino felix. Glad to raise a glass with you.

[Thighmax]

I believe that this should help you; I have always been really curious about things and try to investigate all the matters that really interest me.  I started wearing high heeled boots when I was a little boy.  My story has been a love hate relationship with them but as I grew older I started accepting them and the hate part started disappearing, I have ventured into other types of clothing too.   

That being said, I wondered more than a few times if I was gay or what was the story with me so I bought a couple of books regarding crossdressing.  

Now that I read your comments I would suggest you read these books, specially one that is named My Husband Wears My Clothes by Peggy J. Rudd.  The interesting part about this book is that it is written from a woman's standpoint, and it gives you a lot of insight into how to bring the crossdressing forward into the relationship considering how your significant other might feel.

  

 

[subtle]

14 hours ago, Thighmax said:

That being said, I wondered more than a few times if I was gay or what was the story with me so I bought a couple of books regarding crossdressing.  

I've felt this also, it wasn't until I found hhp that I realised that there's nothing wrong with me, now I'm less likely to care if someone noticed some heels in my house, the main thing that has always stopped me from being who I am is being labeled as something I'm not, which has had implicated me from doing so anyway.

When you think about it, it's Little bit of extra material on the back of your shoe; society sucks sometimes.

 

[Steve63130]

17 hours ago, subtle said:

 society sucks sometimes.

 

Yes it does, but that's the way it is. Better to light a lamp and be a beacon for others than simply to curse the darkness.

Steve

[Puffer]

On 2/5/2016 at 2:56 AM, meganiwish said:

In vino felix. Glad to raise a glass with you.

I think you mean 'In vino felicitas'!   (Derived from: 'In vino veritas; in cervesio felicitas' = 'In wine there is truth; in beer there is happiness.')

[On the other hand, 'In vino felix' could mean 'the wine is cat's pee' - so I wouldn't advocate drinking it.]      

[meganiwish]

Thank you for correcting my Latin.  You are quite right in your quote (though a comma rather than a semi-colon is called for ).   What I meant to say was 'In vino felix sum', but being in vino I lacked the presence of mind to find the verb.

It's a common misconception that felix has anything to do with cats, because of the cartoon and, latterly, the catfood.  Latin for cat is feles. By the way, never give translations for the benefit of those who neglected their Latin studies.  Rather take the line that GITF (in Latin GSAE)

[Shyheels]

The error re felix comes, I believe, from a misspelling of Felis leo, the Latin name assigned to lions by Carl Linnaeus in his Systema Naturae...

[meganiwish]

I don't doubt you're right.  Still, I dare say we can forgive Carl a spelling slip, all things considered.  Perhaps he was in vino.  It is undoubtedly more euphonious.

[Puffer]

10 hours ago, meganiwish said:

Thank you for correcting my Latin.  You are quite right in your quote (though a comma rather than a semi-colon is called for ).   What I meant to say was 'In vino felix sum', but being in vino I lacked the presence of mind to find the verb.

It's a common misconception that felix has anything to do with cats, because of the cartoon and, latterly, the catfood.  Latin for cat is feles. By the way, never give translations for the benefit of those who neglected their Latin studies.  Rather take the line that GITF (in Latin GSAE)

I deliberately altered the comma to a semi-colon (a much under-used punctuation mark) as I felt that the quotation did deserve a longer pause 'for reflection between drinks' - but well-spotted.

As to felix, I was merely recognising the cartoon/catfood connection that you mention; as you say, there is no true Latin derivation.   Felix the Cat was probably so named because he was lucky in his (mis)adventures and confusion with felis came later.   

I agree that the reader should be expected to find his (or her) own translation.   That said, I am struggling a little with GITF; I would have expected GIYF (Latin GEAV) - what subtlety am I missing?   

[at9]

GITF could be a typo (T is next to Y on the keyboard) or the pleasantly archaic: "Google Is Thy Friend". Or you could just use the rather crude: "JFGI".

[Chorlini]

I have seen many threads being derailed in many ways but never over Latin grammar.

[Rockpup]

32 minutes ago, Chorlini said:

I have seen many threads being derailed in many ways but never over Latin grammar.

Don't get me started on the intricacies of sanscrit!

[meganiwish]

13 hours ago, Puffer said:

I deliberately altered the comma to a semi-colon (a much under-used punctuation mark) as I felt that the quotation did deserve a longer pause 'for reflection between drinks' - but well-spotted.

As to felix, I was merely recognising the cartoon/catfood connection that you mention; as you say, there is no true Latin derivation.   Felix the Cat was probably so named because he was lucky in his (mis)adventures and confusion with felis came later.   

I agree that the reader should be expected to find his (or her) own translation.   That said, I am struggling a little with GITF; I would have expected GIYF (Latin GEAV) - what subtlety am I missing?   

Google is THEIR Friend.  I was obeying English rules of concord.  Google suus amicus est.  It might have been better Google amicus suus est, GASE, since the modern Latin languages favour the postpositive adjective.  One must suppose that bias already existed in Classical times.

I might agree with you about the semi-colon being under used, though better under used than overused.  It's certainly much misused, as it is twice in the above quote .  Both times a full stop is the right point to use.  The semi-colon separates two clauses, the subordinate being able to stand alone as a sentence, but owing a deal of its meaning to the main clause.  If in doubt, use a full stop.

You're quite right about Felix the Cat, but I must reiterate, Latin for cat is feles not felis.  

Hello At9.  As if I'd have let a typo like that get past me, even in vino.

[Shyheels]

And of course you know the creature for which the Canary Islands are named..

[Steve63130]

On 2/9/2016 at 8:21 PM, meganiwish said:

You're quite right about Felix the Cat, but I must reiterate, Latin for cat is feles not felis.  

Feles is feminine and felis is masculine. Both are acceptable, depending on the gender of the cat. They also mean thief. Make sure the felis doesn't kidnap your felis. LOL

Steve

[meganiwish]

Without even looking it up I'm going to tell you that you're wrong, and that I know what you're about, you naughty man.  So you should know that a cat may have a sex, male or female, as do humans, but not a gender.  Gender is a grammatical thing in some languages.  For example, cerveza is feminine in Spanish, but there's nothing inherently female about beer.  My sex is female and in English I have no gender.

[Shyheels]

Hmmm. My dictionary gives Felis as the genitive for feles. Given that Linnaeus as well as Pliny and Plautus all quite happily used Felis I think we might be safe is saying both can be considered acceptable in describing a feline.

but you're quite right - the sex if the individual felne does not come into it.