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Scale of Confidence  

107 members have voted

  1. 1. Where would you place yourself on a scale of confidence wearing heels in public?

    • 1. I totally fear people ridiculing me and need widespread approval before I'd even consider wearing heels in public.
      15
    • 2. I cautiously venture out with great trepidation.
      34
    • 3. My fear and confidence pretty much balance each other out.
      19
    • 4. I wear my heels confidently but it does matter to me what people think.
      31
    • 5. Other peoples feelings are totally irrelevant.
      12


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Posted

Where would you place yourself on a scale of confidence wearing heels in public?

 

I'd say I've evolved from #1 as a teenager to a #4 now. I don't think I could ever be a #5 because I'd like to think that by by wearing our heels we're making people question their subconscious preconceptions, and maybe changing peoples views for the better.

If you like it, wear it.


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Posted

These days I'd say I'm pretty much at #5, with a little #4 on the side. Pretty much what other people think is irrelevant to me, since I wear what I wear for myself and the only approval I need is from friends and family. I used to be a resolute #2, but one day realised that the opinions of people I don't know just doesn't really matter.

Posted

I've gotten to the point where I'm a #4 over the past year.  I'll never be #5 because I almost feel like it's my duty to be some kind of a role model/ambassador so that those who come after me will have an easier time of it.  I'm still the only guy I've ever met in person who wears heels.  I wonder how many around me are secret heelers?

Posted

I came in as  4, just because I wouldn't do something that I knew offended someone.  Heels don't seem to do that.

 

TBG

I dream of a world where chickens can cross roads without having their motives questioned.

Posted

I have been wearing heels in public since 1996, and I rate myself as a four.  I love wearing high heels and women's shoes, started wearing flats when I was a teen and have become quite confident with "age." Given the length of time I have been wearing heels, one would thing that I should be at a 5+.  One reason not, is that I seem to be the only guy out here in CA who wears heels in public.  I have never seen another guy out in women's shoes, flats or heels.  Strange, given the culture and demographics of the state - and nice weather too!  

I am sure there are others, but they are few and far between.  We need more guys to wear heels in public, come on guys, let's do this!!

It's a lonely - but fun - life wearing gals shoes.  ha ha

Merry Christmas all…..   sf

"Why should girls have all the fun!!"

Posted

Well, considering I wear heels AND skirts, I'm pretty much a #5. I don't worry or wonder about what others think when they see me, I just wear what I like and go about my business, plain and simple.

I don't want to LOOK like a woman, I just want to DRESS like a woman!

Posted

I voted #4, but it really varies with the destination, the event, and the people I'll be seeing. The time and place define the outfit and shoes. So for example, a dressy occasion in the company of lots of people I know, more conservative heels (androgynous clogs) would do. If I don't know anyone there, I could wear (and have worn) booties or pumps. If it's casual and warm, sandals with capris or if cool, jeans and boots with 3" heels. You get the idea. It depends on many factors.

 

Steve

Posted

Things change depending on what situation are in. I voted #4, as I am already very confident. Now that I am moving to a new city, with a new employer, probation period and many employees who might be living just around the corner, I am still confident, but I am also going to be cautious - I don't want to lose my new job just because of my choice of footwear.

As always, I draw the line where my job starts, so nothing high-heel related *ever* at the company. But for leisure-time, especially during this time of the year, I really prefer my boots... uh oh... I think I am moving off-topic ;-)

Posted

I would be a number #4 most of the time but still need vigilance where and some occasions due to my work.

Away from home areas I do not care as much. I do feel at some point it will be a #5 but couple of years off.

 

Good thoughts SleekHeels!

Posted

Despite regularly wearing dresses with heels and being comfortable doing so I wouldn't rate myself more than a 4.

I am still very concerned that I must look good in others eyes, so I could not say I just don't care.

I want to know in my mind that I look good, and I am absorbing peripheral and direct feedback on what others think all the time, especially what women think as they are a better judge.

I am evolving my look and my confidence grows through this process. If people don't like my look I re-evaluate what I was wearing.

Nowadays I am getting oodles of positive feedback.

I doubt I will ever reach a 5 because I am vain.

 

cheers

Heel-Lover

Posted

I put myself at number 4 or a little above.

 

You do have to take some peoples opinions with a grain of salt. Many who criticize obviously don't own a mirror.

Shafted, the boots that is! View my gallery here http://www.hhplace.o...afteds-gallery/ or view my heeling thread here http://www.hhplace.org/topic/3850-new-pair-of-boots-starts-me-serious-street-heeling/ - Pm me if you want fashion advice or just need someone to talk to.

Posted

In reality I would say 3-4 in the general public areas. Locations I'm comfortable with rate up to 5. I would however say I'm very watchful as to my surroundings on some of my expeditions. Often more limited due to the protective comments from the wife. Al

Posted

I am a little of 2, 3, 4, but voted as a 3.

 

It depends where and what shoes. I have a huge variety of women's footwear but tend to go out mostly in flats and chunky heels, as well as wedges (wedge sneakers are a favorite of mine this season). What I wear depends on where I am going. Unlike some of you who wear heels openly around friends I have never ventured to do that. I guess it is fear of losing some of my best friends, and before you lecture me, yes, if they were real friends they would accept it, and deep down I think they would, but it is a place I have consciously chosen not to go.

 

I am also careful not to wear shoes that are too femmy in my home area. What a lot of people say on this board is true--nobody notices your shoes (within some reasonable boundaries), so there are lots of shoes I feel safe wearing both to friends' houses and to local stores. One odd thing is that I often feel safe wearing chunky heels, with longer jeans, rather than some of my ballet flats. I guess it has to do with the amount of foot that shows!  I have met acquaintances and friends at stores while wearing different women's shoes and nobody ever paid any attention.

 

When out of my home town area I am much more bold and will put on wedge boots or slightly higher heels (but still chunky--I never cared for stilettos, on me or anyone) and walk around like it was totally normal for me to be wearing that style of shoe. 

Posted

i guess i started as a #2 but now i am more a #4 for my style of current heels which are wedge sneakers...

even tough i do like other style of heels (wedge booties above all) i cannot make them suite my lifestyle and look but i am happy where i am at now

 

merry heeling x-mas everyone!!!

Posted

Well, considering I wear heels AND skirts, I'm pretty much a #5. I don't worry or wonder about what others think when they see me, I just wear what I like and go about my business, plain and simple.

 

In our insight we would stand as brothers. I have worn a skirt out with heels before but no longer. Just the shoes/boots for me.

 

The wording for selection #5 is straight forward. I really could care less what people think of my footware. While theres guys with their pants hanging around their knees, ' goths ' walking around looking like vampires/zombies.. nobody should worry about me wearing something that actually fits. ;)

REPEATEDLY ARGUMENTATIVE, INSULTING AND RUDE. BANNED FOR LIFE.

Posted

I'm still around a 1 or 2. If my family and friends are okay with it, I'd feel better about it. I can buy shoes in public, and on some occasions try them on, but if they are not hidden heels, I'm not too comfortable with the idea, still.

A Man's Shoe Obsession: A blog of a man who loves high heels and women's shoes. http://amaninheels.tumblr.com/

Posted

I'm between a four and a five. I'm comfortable with wearing heels in public but I do hope others genuinely line me for the way I am.

High heels are the shoes I choose to put on, respect my choice as I repect yours.

Posted

I voted 4, but often lean toward 3, as fear still occasionally slips in.  I try to keep it buried down, but its still there to some extent.

 

So I am probably in the 3 to 4 range somewhere.

Posted

We line you a lot Foxyheels, but we don't line your spelling missteaks.

 

:D

 

Just kidding ya. Don't take it seriously, mate!

 

Amature Proorfreadder

Posted

Very amateur I would say! LOL

 

This is all about comfort zones.

 

Many years ago when I first started to wear female clothes I never would have thought that I would be living completely as a woman.

 

First I went to trans events and changed there, then I would change at home, leave after dark and drive there (making sure I had enough petrol!). Then one day I made a miscalculation and ended up having to buy fuel on the way home. I would have changed at he venue but I had no male clothes with me.

 

Next I went shopping with friends in a town many, many miles away from home. Then to towns closer to home. Then I started to go at out in daylight and shop locally.

 

The next step was going to college en femme and after a while I became a weekend princess.

 

Now I can say that I haven't worn a single item of male clothing for almost three years.

 

To go from a first time experience to living and working full time in one leap is unthinkable but to gradually expand your comfort zone is easy if you go at a pace that suits you.

 

I am very surprised that Kneehighs voted 4 though, I've met him a few times and he has always come across as a very confident person.

Graduate footwear designer able to advise and assist on modification and shoe making projects.

Posted

I am very surprised that Kneehighs voted 4 though, I've met him a few times and he has always come across as a very confident person.

 

I'm not. Option 5 basically infers that one doesn't care at all about their personal appearance. I can't see kneehighs in that group.

Shafted, the boots that is! View my gallery here http://www.hhplace.o...afteds-gallery/ or view my heeling thread here http://www.hhplace.org/topic/3850-new-pair-of-boots-starts-me-serious-street-heeling/ - Pm me if you want fashion advice or just need someone to talk to.

Posted

I'm not. Option 5 basically infers that one doesn't care at all about their personal appearance. I can't see kneehighs in that group.

 

Hmm! Good point there, Shafted, one that didn't occur to me when I voted "5" for myself. Perhaps I was a tad rash since I also take my personal appearance seriously, almost to the point where I sometimes tend to overdress (in my mind anyway) when I go on my little adventures.

I don't want to LOOK like a woman, I just want to DRESS like a woman!

Posted

For me, I'd say I'm a 2 and 1/2... I have worn high heeled boots, under my jeans, to gigs and to casinos in Atlantic City. My confidence is slowly building, but fear is definitely still a factor.

Posted

We line you a lot Foxyheels, but we don't line your spelling missteaks. :D Just kidding ya. Don't take it seriously, mate! Amature Proorfreadder

That will teach me to type quickly on my phone with my fat fingers and not check prior to posting.

High heels are the shoes I choose to put on, respect my choice as I repect yours.

Posted

That will teach me to type quickly on my phone with my fat fingers and not check prior to posting.

I was just having fun at your expense, but all in jest. We all do stuff line that occasionally.

 

Hope the new year is good to ya!

 

Steve

Posted

I'm probably in between a 3 and a 4 but it does matter to me what people think and I never go heeling close to where I live. I have recently bought some skinny jeans and I've been wearing those with 4" pumps in public which has been great but I seem to only want to show women that I'm wearing heels. I'm comfortable with women, less so with guys, not sure why. Does anyone else have this?

Posted

My scale of confidence bounces between and upon, if not over both ways at times, the stages 2 and 3 randomly. I probably could be at the fourth stage by wearing the more masculine idea of high heels that many wear, but stiletto and spike heel pumps are my motivation.

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