Finally Wore Pumps In Public... kind of!

[Pointer7]

Hi All,

hope you all had a good Xmas and new year! Between Xmas and new year, I was working but it was very quiet in the office and my desk is at the very back and no one sitting beside me or behind so I was brave and changed in to some heels under the desk and OMG what a rush! think it was knowing I was wearing them and no one else knowing (did have to change pretty quickly once or twice as someone came behind me to grab their coat!) but all in all it was very enjoyable!

[Thighbootguy]

1 hour ago, Pointer7 said:

changed in to some heels under the desk and OMG what a rush!

Indeed it is.  Use caution heeling at work if it is a danger to your employment.  See if you can find a pair that are not obviously high heels that you can wear on a regular basis.

Enjoy your heels.

[pebblesf]

2 hours ago, Thighbootguy said:

Indeed it is.  Use caution heeling at work if it is a danger to your employment.  See if you can find a pair that are not obviously high heels that you can wear on a regular basis.

Enjoy your heels.

I agree.  I hear ya buddy, I'm sure it was quite a rush slipping into heels at work, but very risky indeed. 

[Heelster]

Ummmmm - - - - I'm thinking that's the last place I would start my adventures in publicly wearing heels. My luck I'd get fired, or be put under some serious pressure to leave on my own accord.

[pebblesf]

1 minute ago, Heelster said:

Ummmmm - - - - I'm thinking that's the last place I would start my adventures in publicly wearing heels. My luck I'd get fired, or be put under some serious pressure to leave on my own accord.

Agree, usually best to keep your work life separate from your home/fetlife!

[Heelster]

Just now, pebblesf said:

Agree, usually best to keep your work life separate from your home/fetlife!

Exactly!!!

 

[Rick24]

you should expect women having smiles. if you are walking into a full office with a pair of red or white stiletto pumps, don't worry. you will be more popular. if you are out in the open about it.

[Pointer7]

There was no one there hardly plus it was under the desk (I didn't walk around or anything) plus I wouldn't do it anyway if I thought it would cause issues, plus I'm not brave enough yet!) 

[pebblesf]

30 minutes ago, Pointer7 said:

There was no one there hardly plus it was under the desk (I didn't walk around or anything) plus I wouldn't do it anyway if I thought it would cause issues, plus I'm not brave enough yet!) 

Well, I'm glad it worked out and you had fun....I wouldn't be able to get any work done though!

[Pointer7]

Well I did struggle to work too, was slightly distracted haha

[HappyinHeels]

Pointer7,

That's an interesting place to start. Other places to think about are driving to and from work if you don't rely exclusively on public transport or an outing somewhere to a  restaurant, window shopping at a mall, or just walking through the downtown area of another city. By doing this you'll accomplish a few things; A- You'll get real life exposure in public; B- You'll hone your ability to walk in heels and C-You'll be able to find and define your precise fashion style which projects your personality. The combination of the first three produces D- The inner confidence to pull it off and make the world take you on your terms. Read for example, the enlightening musings of members like JeffB, Thighbootguy, and mlroseplant among many others to get a sense of what it is like. Your desire will only grow so you'd better feed it sooner than later   HappyinHeels

[Jkrenzer]

11 minutes ago, HappyinHeels said:

Your desire will only grow so you'd better feed it sooner than later   HappyinHeels

So true, embrace it now. Life is short and you have the heel virus. It does not go away. 

[robbiehhw]

Any employer in the western world at least, that would fire you for your choice of footwear, would be opening themselves up to potential problems and embarrassment. At the most, someone that had authority in the situation might politely ask you to follow another dress code. Be brave and be the change you want to see.

[Heelster]

4 hours ago, robbiehhw said:

Any employer in the western world at least, that would fire you for your choice of footwear, would be opening themselves up to potential problems and embarrassment. At the most, someone that had authority in the situation might politely ask you to follow another dress code. Be brave and be the change you want to see.

In theory, your correct - - - Reality says your chancing loosing your job. They won't claim "A guy wearing heels" but there are plenty of other excuses that are damned hard to defend yourself against. Been there - done that.

 

[Rockpup]

Someone here got forced out of their business over wearing stockings, if I am not mistaken, while others have been accepted. Weigh the risk level you are willing to accept.

Edited January 5, 2017 by Rockpup

[robbiehhw]

4 hours ago, Heelster said:

In theory, your correct - - - Reality says your chancing loosing your job. They won't claim "A guy wearing heels" but there are plenty of other excuses that are damned hard to defend yourself against. Been there - done that.

 

I totally get that and understand that. However, you could put that concern next to about any societal change or variance from the norm (long hair etc) and while it would be true, this is not how you change the world. You don't wait for the adoption curve or Hollywood, or anyone else, you boldly go out and do it. In general you may get snickers and gossip, but a life without snickers and gossip is not that well lived in my opinion. I don't want to blend in to a society that has so many problems, i want to change it.

There should be zero differences between dress codes and acceptability therein,  between women and men. If women can wear heels to work, so can men. If a girl can wear a princess dress to the party, so can boys.

I know about coming out as non-standard and work, socially and among professional peers. As a trans person i realize i had to experience the extremes here as i was figuring out who i was and then learning to present myself consistent with it, but i think all of the men here that have done any public heeling at all have taken similar steps, to step out and present themselves to the world in the way that they choose. Bravery is pretty universal at this site

[pebblesf]

5 hours ago, Heelster said:

In theory, your correct - - - Reality says your chancing loosing your job. They won't claim "A guy wearing heels" but there are plenty of other excuses that are damned hard to defend yourself against. Been there - done that.

 

Unfortuntately, you are exactly right...

[pebblesf]

1 hour ago, robbiehhw said:

I totally get that and understand that. However, you could put that concern next to about any societal change or variance from the norm (long hair etc) and while it would be true, this is not how you change the world. You don't wait for the adoption curve or Hollywood, or anyone else, you boldly go out and do it. In general you may get snickers and gossip, but a life without snickers and gossip is not that well lived in my opinion. I don't want to blend in to a society that has so many problems, i want to change it.

There should be zero differences between dress codes and acceptability therein,  between women and men. If women can wear heels to work, so can men. If a girl can wear a princess dress to the party, so can boys.

I know about coming out as non-standard and work, socially and among professional peers. As a trans person i realize i had to experience the extremes here as i was figuring out who i was and then learning to present myself consistent with it, but i think all of the men here that have done any public heeling at all have taken similar steps, to step out and present themselves to the world in the way that they choose. Bravery is pretty universal at this site

And, you are absolutely correct as well!  Oh well, I guess Pointer7 will have to decide where he is on what seems to be a "heeling timeline".   

[Pointer7]

Well I'm at the stage of I love wearing heels at home, I drive with heels or flats sometimes and late at night I do go for a walk around the neighbourhood in flats (not up to the heels stage as yet) I'm trying to find some masculine looking women's moccasins that I can wear for my first public outing before I build up to heels!

[Steve63130]

Pointer7,

Take baby steps that you're comfortable with, but don't stop pushing the envelope. I have been doing this for the past 7 or 8 years and I am amazed at what I've accomplished and how far I've come! I'm not trans, I am happy as a male, but I do wear heels, hosiery, women's jeans, women's tops, carry a purse, and wear nail polish. I do it openly and confidently, and people around me seem to be fine with it. I'm well accepted in the retirement community we live in, and life is good with the freedom I have.

If you're worried about getting fired for wearing heels, and the urge to wear is strong, open up your own business, be your own boss, and make up your own dress code. I did that, and I've never regretted it. Look around. There must be a business you can start or buy. Google could be your friend.

Steve

 

[Heelster]

Let's consider some clarification. Some of the probabilities depend on overall location. As we have mentioned before. if you live in a metropolitan area that has a tendency to be accepting, and you work in an office such as an accountant, software related, or in an environment that doesn't have to deal directly with the public, you have a better chance of getting away with wearing heels to work as a guy.

If you walk into a locker room of a steel mill, police station, Auto plant in the middle of the country, you are now gay, and unless you are a mixed martial arts competitor - - - your chances of survival drop drastically.

Real story - - a few years ago, during a local winter power outage, a guy who was still slightly hung over, in a dark house, grabbed the wrong underwear out of a draw, and showed up for work. needless to say, his work career took a turn for the worse when he went in to change into his work clothes at the shop. Pink is like neon orange, and the other guys harassed him for weeks. He finally quit, and shortly thereafter, he moved. Grown men acting like bullies in a school yard. and management chipped in.

[Pumped]

I was told to not wear Harley Davidson shirts to work, any shirts with company logos has to be work related. Right before Christmas one of the guys showed up wearing, what first appeared to be a very Christmas-y t-shirt. My boss complimented him on his t-shirt. I looked at my boss and said "seriously"?! I went on to ask that HD shirts are off limits, but shirts with animals having sex was fine?? If you looked just a bit harder there were silhouettes of humping reindeer on the front of the shirt. My boss took a second look, said maybe not, and walked away.

[Thighbootguy]

Pick your battles more carefully.  A confrontation just for the sake of pointing out an inconsistency isn't always worth it, and you don't always "get points" when you win, in fact you probably lose them.

[vector]

Re: wearing heels at work, be VERY careful as often there are cameras recording everything.

[Gudulitooo]

On 6/1/2017 at 3:27 AM, Heelster said:

Let's consider some clarification. Some of the probabilities depend on overall location. As we have mentioned before. if you live in a metropolitan area that has a tendency to be accepting, and you work in an office such as an accountant, software related, or in an environment that doesn't have to deal directly with the public, you have a better chance of getting away with wearing heels to work as a guy.

If you walk into a locker room of a steel mill, police station, Auto plant in the middle of the country, you are now gay, and unless you are a mixed martial arts competitor - - - your chances of survival drop drastically.

Real story - - a few years ago, during a local winter power outage, a guy who was still slightly hung over, in a dark house, grabbed the wrong underwear out of a draw, and showed up for work. needless to say, his work career took a turn for the worse when he went in to change into his work clothes at the shop. Pink is like neon orange, and the other guys harassed him for weeks. He finally quit, and shortly thereafter, he moved. Grown men acting like bullies in a school yard. and management chipped in.

 

I say if your employer wants to fire you, he may use any excuse anyway. (ie wrong color of shirt, etc.). Then you can contest (in France), and it takes years before you get some compensation asking help to the justice system. Meanwhile you find another job (don't count on the compensation as a living, at least for several years), go ahead and forget about that.

The best is to do the job as best as you can, including presenting yourself as required so that you can achieve your objectives.

The heels do not change anything apart that it may give him another one.

[robbiehhw]

I've been witness to several employee wrongful termination filings and in nearly ever case the employee walked away with considerably more money than whatever their severance was. Companies hate distractions, hate negative publicity and hate using their resources on non-revenue generating activities. They simply write a check to make it go away. Now there are certain things you have to say in order for this to happen but employment attorneys understand these things.  Of course your complaint must have merit

The idea that men are sometimes bullies and more so in some environments is true, but again if you work in one of those environments that is of course your choice. We get to choose.

[Gudulitooo]

I wore these booties at work for a few weeks. The heel is relatively small (2 inch) and well hidden. Two years ago I wore dayly some cowgirl boots with an apparent heel (2") but I stopped since I didn't like the look. It is relatively difficult with my size (12 or 13) to find work-friendly heels. So all in all this is the boldest I am at work. But I don't hide under my desk.

[Heelster]

On 09/01/2017 at 1:06 PM, robbiehhw said:

The idea that men are sometimes bullies and more so in some environments is true, but again if you work in one of those environments that is of course your choice. We get to choose.

Yep -  kinda drifted into an environment that is not accepting to heels on men, then again, I was here when I discovered the interest. 

[Puffer]

On 1/5/2017 at 6:41 PM, Pointer7 said:

Well I'm at the stage of I love wearing heels at home, I drive with heels or flats sometimes and late at night I do go for a walk around the neighbourhood in flats (not up to the heels stage as yet) I'm trying to find some masculine looking women's moccasins that I can wear for my first public outing before I build up to heels!

Noel Coward once famously stated:  'Very flat, Norfolk'.   But I'm sure he was referring to the prevailing landscape, not the footwear, and there is no reason why you should not go out more openly in public in modest heels.   I would however suggest that it is rather safer to do so in daylight in a fairly busy place, such as a shopping mall or supermarket, where you will find people of all ages, genders and attitudes, nearly all of whom will be minding their own business and not interested in what you are wearing, even if they notice it all all.   And, if anyone does feel like making an issue of it, it will likely be nothing more than a look or a laugh - very few will risk any sort of confrontation when witnesses are present.   I quite often wear my avatar boots under jeans for normal daytime trips in and around my local area, with no difficulties at all.

Moccasins would be a good choice as they (and loafers) are essentially comfortable male shoes which have been 'borrowed' by the ladies and slightly feminised, with or without a heel.   So, why not borrow them back?   And, if you happen to be a UK10, you could do a lot worse than these (which unfortunately do not fit me): http://hhplace.org/topic/23946-evans-loafers-uk10/ or something very like them.   

Good luck and let us know how you get on!