Has Your Love Of Heels Ever Impacted Your Intimate Decisions ?

[geezyweezy]

I am not sure this has ever been asked on here.

i'm curious.

Feel free to duck this question, or answer honestly.

I will do the same if pushed....

[mlroseplant]

The question is rather vague, but however it is meant, the answer is "yes."

[geezyweezy]

The question is rather vague, but however it is meant, the answer is "yes."

care to share ?

[Guest]

If the wife wants boots the shoes come off.

The has been the rare occasion when we both had on the same shoe, but I don't push it at all, not even the slightest hint since I wear them every day.

Now there are a great number of things that heels have come first and I regret that deeply. Heels have controlled and somewhat ruined my life. Even to this day there are times I would rather keep shoes to get to the 14 or 15 hour mark instead of doing things I should do.

A lot of the problems were when I did not wear heels every day and when I had the chance to wear them I would wear them instead of doing something more productive.

The biggest regret is when it takes away from family.

[pebblesf]

My love of high heel boots has definitely messed up most of my relationships.

[Oxford1]

Does not matter-shoes,boots ,fetish heels, no response, FAmily get togethers-no heels. Just wondering what world you "guys" live in since I do not see any heels at all. Just wondering where all the heels arw

[SF]

Oxford…  Yes, I wonder the same thing.  I have never seen another guy in gals shoes - heels, flats - nothing.  I guess I am the only one out here.  

The folks in the shoe stores tell me that "a lot" of guys come in to look at, try on, and purchase gals shoes / sandals.  Then they must disappear into the firmament.  

But I keep looking, maybe , just maybe - some day….   Take care…  sf

[Steve63130]

SF, one of these days we're gonna meet up in person and I'll show you another guy into heels! LOL

 

Steve

[robbiehhw]

Never faced adversity because of it. 

 

I have seen a few guys out in heels in our little city. The most recent was at the grocery store last week. She was dressed in girl jeans, a top and heeled booties. I was dressed similar, except for her purse was a bit more girlie than mine. Her hair was also longer. We saw each other and smiled and said hi

[Histiletto]

Being denied the wearing of heels, just because of a social attitude has perpetrated a lot of anxiety and having to deal with not receiving the satisfaction to fulfill a personal need(desire), tends to increase one's need for such fulfillment. Hence, the attitude that only men have fetishes - women have been able to satisfy their desires for high heels, so society sees them as liking heels a lot(even over zealous), but not as a fetish.

Understanding men in heels would help society understand why men are so pumped up for wearing high heels. Had men been able to wear heels socially as women have, heels would possibly have not been given such an esteemed position in a male heeler's wardrobe, at least the position would most likely be the same degree a lot of women esteem high heels.

[SF]

Steve….  Sounds good to me !!!!   sf

[hhboots]

Oxford…  Yes, I wonder the same thing.  I have never seen another guy in gals shoes - heels, flats - nothing.  I guess I am the only one out here.  

The folks in the shoe stores tell me that "a lot" of guys come in to look at, try on, and purchase gals shoes / sandals.  Then they must disappear into the firmament.  

But I keep looking, maybe , just maybe - some day….   Take care…  sf

SF, I am absolutely amazed that you live in or near San Francisco and have not seen a guy in heels.  That sort of just blows my mind...

 

I live in the pacific northwest and have seen a couple of other guys in heels with regular guys clothing in the past few years. One was a guy in shorts and ~2.5" heel mule/sandal just walking around downtown, and another was a goth/biker platform chunky mid-heel boot at a rock concert.  Anyway, I think even though we have quite a few active members, I would guess in my time here, I have read comments from about 200-250 guys on this forum that claim to wear heels out in public regularly, out of that number I would say about half of those are in the United States, so 100-125.  Lets assume for argument sake, they are all telling the truth, but even if say only 75% of them are telling the truth, I would think there are some guys that do wear heels in public that do not even know about this website, which would balance that number out anyway, so I am sticking with that estimate. 

 

So even with that, there are about 320 million people total in the US, and 100 million of those are adult males.  That means, on a daily basis, your chances of seeing a male in heels are 100 out of 100 million, or that equates to 1 in a million.  I am sure my numbers/stats are probably a bit off, but you get my point.  Also, in some large 'cosmopolitan' cities like LA, NYC, London, Paris, I would think the chances are a slightly higher than the overall average, but still very low in the grand scheme of things, I would think San Fran would be a bit higher as well, but apparently not.  Maybe in the night club scene in S.F. you might have a better chance of seeing it?  *shrug*. 

 

Even though I do significant outings myself about 3-4 days of the week, I still am not blatant about it.  I mean I am nowhere near where JeffB or some others are. So, I think 99% of the people I pass by, don't even notice what I am doing.  So your chances of seeing someone as obvious as JeffB (and those on par with him) are probably at least 1 in 5 million or worse.

 

Anyway, we hear daily about guys wearing heels on this forum, but our numbers here in the grand scheme of things is still so very miniscule, so that would make it extremely unlikely that you will see another guy in heels.  I would think about as likely as winning $1000 or more in the lottery.

I am not sure this has ever been asked on here.

i'm curious.

Feel free to duck this question, or answer honestly.

I will do the same if pushed....

 

In response to the original post, I would say, yes, it has to a limited degree, but not too bad really.  My wife is very accepting of what I do.  I know she sometimes feels a little uncomfortable when we go out together, especially if we go to a place where we might run into people we know.  Even at home, I need to just not go overboard about it.  So I definitely limit the activity for her sake, I really don't want mess up a good thing.  But yes, there has been some clashes between us, in the sense that I am reminded that she should always come first before my obsession, and I have occasionally slipped up and forget that.  Otherwise, its been a fairly harmonious relationship with my wife as long as I remember to not get carried away with it.

 

So geezyweezy, you posted the question, but have not answered it yourself.  It's your turn...  lol 

[Steve63130]

Your statistics are interesting, but on a microscale they don't apply. In our little village of Granville, Ohio, the population is around 2500 and the surrounding township is around the same. Assuming 2000 of those are adult men, the chances of seeing a guy in public (me) are 1 out of 2000. That's a lot better than 1 out of a million.

 

:-)

 

Lies, damned lies, and statistics!

 

Steve

[hhboots]

Haha... Yeah, I am pretty sure my method of calculating that was not entirely correct, buy the main point is still valid in that we are such a miniscule number that go out in public in heels in comparison to the total population. But I still have a hard time grasping that in San Francisco of all places that our SF is all alone there as a public heeler...

[robbiehhw]

Are we counting TG people into the " seeing men in heels " category? If we are not and i can understand why (don't call someone presenting as a she, a he please ) we see heels on men a rarity. But TG folks are a growing segment of society and i see them all the time here in the Pacific NW. 

[AZShoeNut]

Oxford… Yes, I wonder the same thing. I have never seen another guy in gals shoes - heels, flats - nothing. I guess I am the only one out here.

The folks in the shoe stores tell me that "a lot" of guys come in to look at, try on, and purchase gals shoes / sandals. Then they must disappear into the firmament.

But I keep looking, maybe , just maybe - some day…. Take care… sf

We live just a couple hours away. Hoping to connect one of these days.

Best,

Larry

[SF]

hhboots….  Yep, the fact that I have never seen another guy around here in heels "blows my mind" as well.  That is not to say there are no guys around here wearing heels, I just haven't seem 'em.  And I do get out a lot - just not to the right places I suppose.  

But, there is hope.  As two of the posts above indicate, AZshoeNut lives about 2 hours away, and Steve63130 and I have been wanting to meet up for some time as well, although he is farther away.  So maybe a "sighting" is on the horizon!!!   Take care all…  sf

[Heelster]

SF, one of these days we're gonna meet up in person and I'll show you another guy into heels! LOL

 

Steve

And one of these days, I'm gonna catch up with you. Was at Polaris and DSW in heels Friday afternoon- - I know I was spotted, but nothing was said that I know of. Needed some outdoor boots for snow etc. Just imagine a dude at Cabela's in JLo stilleto boots shopping for insulated outdoor crap - - - and damned them boots are expensive.

[Steve63130]

Heelster,

 

Yes, one of these days...I wouldn't have been able to get free on Friday - we had some contractors working at the house. But on most days I have some flexibility, so next time you're in the neighborhood, holler beforehand and we'll arrange to meet up. HappyinHeels was through here last weekend and stopped by for a visit. We did some shoe shopping at Nordstrom Rack and went out for some great pub grub. It's fun to meet up with other heelers, and I'd love to add you to my list of heeling friends I've met in person.

 

Steve

[Rick24]

well us guys hear, have done nothing wrong, but being the people that we are by truth,

[Majo]

My answer to the question is no. But I was never driven to that dilema.

[mlroseplant]

The way that high heeled footwear has affected my personal life is twofold, and they are completely different concerns:

 

1) Like one of the above posters mentioned, I have often caught myself wasting a lot of time not completing necessary physical tasks because I don't want to change out of heels. This problem has been largely alleviated with my purchase of Doc Marten boots with a 3 1/2" wedge heel. These allow me to do pretty much any activity, be it mowing the lawn or shoveling snow, in heels. Also, they are casual enough and subtle enough that I don't feel like I have to completely clean up and dress up to wear them out. I won't wear "normal" high heels out unless I'm quite presentable.

 

2) I will admit it, I give women who wear heels on a regular basis a little extra credit where maybe it's not deserved. This point was driven home with some force this week, when I realized I was accepting behavior from someone in my life that I really should not accept just because I like to see her in heels. It is not the first time it has happened, and she is not the first person it has happened with. I aim to make sure it is the last. High heels are nice to look at, but they are not worth extending courtesies and favors to those who really don't deserve them.

[Guest]

Being denied the wearing of heels, just because of a social attitude has perpetrated a lot of anxiety and having to deal with not receiving the satisfaction to fulfill a personal need(desire), tends to increase one's need for such fulfillment. Hence, the attitude that only men have fetishes - women have been able to satisfy their desires for high heels, so society sees them as liking heels a lot(even over zealous), but not as a fetish.Understanding men in heels would help society understand why men are so pumped up for wearing high heels. Had men been able to wear heels socially as women have, heels would possibly have not been given such an esteemed position in a male heeler's wardrobe, at least the position would most likely be the same degree a lot of women esteem high heels.

Could not have said it better.

To hhboots.

Yes I have a good thing with my wife too. It's hard not to over do it but she does come first. Too bad there is not a support group here for the wife's so they realize there are others oit there and they had someone to talk to

[AZShoeNut]

Howdy,

 

I wouldn't say that heels have impacted my intimate decisions however they have impacted my intimate experiences.

 

I have always been more attracted to a gal who is wearing a great pair of shoes.  Beer goggles ain't got nothing on a good pair of heels.  That being said the gal who I married hardly wears heels at all.

 

I would say that the first "crush" that I had, way back in seventh grade, was likely because I took notice of the gal because she always wore shoes that would drive me crazy.

 

As far as bedroom intimacy goes, heels have always had a huge role.  Frankly this has mostly negatively impacted my experience and the experience of my wife.  Further detail on this point just goes into TMI but I can say that I would love to know what it would be like to not need heels to light my fire.

 

Best,

Larry

[maninpumps]

AZShoeNut  In your post you mentioned the seventh grade and that put me in mind of a teacher I had. Math is boring at best to me and my math teacher in middle school had the best taste in heels. She would go around the class checking our work and she would say why are you always looking down are you afraid of me? I was so tempted many time to just tell her she had the best heels of any of my teachers. She said if you paid more attention to her as I did the floor I would have been an A student . Then I was put on the front row . That was like being sent to heaven ..... all I saw was her shapely legs and heels .  

Back on topic , I told my wife about my love of heels long before we ever did anything and she was fine with it. My answer would have to be no major impact on my relationships or friendships for that matter.  

[chris100575]

With my ex-wife, yes. Despite knowing about my heels early on she was not happy and never got past "don't ask, don't tell". Wearing them in front of her was not an option.

 

My wife now doesn't much care what I have on my feet, her only concern is the growing size of my collection!

[KneeBooted]

I lost two relationships in my life to my love of heels.

The first was a woman who at the time I would've considered a perfect match. She had beautiful long legs and loved showing them off in various heels and boots.

When we finally started dating, things were fantastic. However, I wasn't willing to give up my wearing them, and she wasn't willing to accept.

The second relationship was doomed for other reasons, but her disapproval of my heels hurt the most. She always looked down on it as if something were wrong with me from my upbringing. She was so closed-minded.

[Pierre1961]

Yes!  

One because the relation was just high heels addiction based and not a good match out of that 

the other one for the opposite reason. 

So I now consider both should be separate. Maybe the future could make me change my mind. Just a dream! 

[pebblesf]

On ‎2‎/‎8‎/‎2015 at 8:31 PM, Heelster said:

And one of these days, I'm gonna catch up with you. Was at Polaris and DSW in heels Friday afternoon- - I know I was spotted, but nothing was said that I know of. Needed some outdoor boots for snow etc. Just imagine a dude at Cabela's in JLo stilleto boots shopping for insulated outdoor crap - - - and damned them boots are expensive.

Wish I could have been with you in Cabelas in my boots, so cool!

[pebblesf]

42 minutes ago, KneeBooted said:

I lost two relationships in my life to my love of heels.

The first was a woman who at the time I would've considered a perfect match. She had beautiful long legs and loved showing them off in various heels and boots.

When we finally started dating, things were fantastic. However, I wasn't willing to give up my wearing them, and she wasn't willing to accept.

The second relationship was doomed for other reasons, but her disapproval of my heels hurt the most. She always looked down on it as if something were wrong with me from my upbringing. She was so closed-minded.

Thanks for being so open about past relationships!  I applaud your honesty, sure hoping the right woman will come along soon buddy