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Shoe Buying: Public Or Private?


JeffB

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A simple question: when you buy shoes (or boots), is your primary goal to wear them in public for all the world to see, or behind closed doors in private? For me, it's definitely the former as I love wearing heels out in the big, bad world. To that end, I never buy anything higher than five inches since I do a goodly amount of walking and standing, so comfort is an absolute must, however, I can understand that for some members whom, for whatever reason have no desire to go out in public, wearing heels in private is the only choice. So, what about you, public or private?

I don't want to LOOK like a woman, I just want to DRESS like a woman!

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Both. I have really reduced the amount of shoes that I will not wear out. I did, however, buy a pair of boots that have no business being warn without a short black skirt and some type of black stockings with a design on them. There is just no way to wear them with my masculine wardrobe. But I love them and wear them around the house.

Life is short...  Wear the bleeping shoes!

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My wife calls the stiletto heels my house shoes. Like I say , It's almost a given for me to wear wedge platforms or a stiff soled shoe out. The field trip destination is the biggest factor in what I wear out that day.  To answer your question , yes some shoes are only purchased to be "house shoes" . The other shoes for outside / evening and shopping trips are usually a neutral color that will go with any of my jeans.  

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When I started wearing heels 35 years ago, and buying heels covertly 25 years ago, "private" felt like it was the only option. When I started buying and wearing heels openly 3½ years ago was when I realised that "public" was also an option. These days if I can't imagine wearing a pair of heels publicly then I simply don't buy them as it seems like a waste of money. Having said that, I don't think there's a style of heels that I wouldn't be prepared to wear in public if I like them - it's just that years ago I used to like heels regardless of whether they suited me or not, whereas now my liking of a pair of heels is much more connected with feeling that can make the style work for me. Far from being a restriction, I feel that's opened up a greater diversity and freedom of self-expression, trying, buying, wearing and enjoying styles I would've rejected in past years (like the high-heeled loafer for example).

If you like it, wear it.

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I've been wearing heels regularly and publicly for a little over two years. I've occasionally owned the odd pair of heels since high school, and of course back then, it was very secret. Since I started wearing heels in public, I think I can say most of my purchases were either intended to be worn in public, or I thought that maybe someday, I'd wear them out.

I now own somewhere between 25 and 30 pairs of heels, and I can think of only 3 that I won't wear in public. Two of them are because I haven't yet learned to walk comfortably in them because of their extreme height (more than 5 inches). The third I won't wear because of its very feminine style. They are "Candies" style mules with a nearly 5 inch wooden heel. I'm not really sure why this bothers me, since I wore a pair of 5 inch thong wedges with rhinestones and denim hot pants just today to the grocery store.

So, to answer your question, yes, when I buy a pair of heels, I generally intend to wear them in public, and often.

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When I started wearing heels 35 years ago, and buying heels covertly 25 years ago, "private" felt like it was the only option. When I started buying and wearing heels openly 3½ years ago was when I realised that "public" was also an option. These days if I can't imagine wearing a pair of heels publicly then I simply don't buy them as it seems like a waste of money. Having said that, I don't think there's a style of heels that I wouldn't be prepared to wear in public if I like them - it's just that years ago I used to like heels regardless of whether they suited me or not, whereas now my liking of a pair of heels is much more connected with feeling that can make the style work for me. Far from being a restriction, I feel that's opened up a greater diversity and freedom of self-expression, trying, buying, wearing and enjoying styles I would've rejected in past years (like the high-heeled loafer for example).

 

I very much agree with your last sentence, SH. I feel that if I didn't wear women's shoes in public, I never would've considered styles like wedges and especially platform sandals which, so far, have been my staple shoe this summer.

 

Meanwhile, I'm enjoying the responses to my question. Keep them coming!

I don't want to LOOK like a woman, I just want to DRESS like a woman!

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Good topic. Hard for me to give a straight answer though.

 

Im of an advantage as others buy footware for me on occasion without me even knowing they are doing it till the gifts are presented.

 

When I buy footware for myself, especially something with a heel, I make sure its something that is presentable and will ' go along ' with something for public wearing.

 

I dont go into town wearing my overalls covered in cesspool junk from cleaning out the hogs bin. I wont go into town wearing jackstands either. How we present ourselves is how people get an initial impression. I could wear the dirty overalls and fit right in 50% of the places in town but I wont as it shows not having any class at all. Surely, we all wouldnt want a guy wearing ( literally ) hog-crap covered clothes into our homes. Im not going to do such to others.

 

Others have bought me footware that I have worn or have been seen wearing around the house. Even if I dont like what was purchased, I have to show an appreciation for the thoughtfulness of someone else buying something for me. I do have some ' Jackstands ' but I wont leave the house wearing them. I have worn those items to the purchasers house for a visit before but made sure there was a backup pair of footware in my vehicle incase we were going anywhere from there.

 

I think the basic answer to what your asking is we ALL have somethings we will wear in just private, and somethings we will wear ' anywhere at all '. 

 

I will wear classic-pumps/court-shoes/stilettos anywhere. Boots and non-traditional items though.. it really depends where Im venturing to.

 

-ILK

REPEATEDLY ARGUMENTATIVE, INSULTING AND RUDE. BANNED FOR LIFE.

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All of my heels are for wearing in public.... Since I am spending the money, I might as well get some use and enjoyment out of the shoes. Plus it's fun..... sf....

"Why should girls have all the fun!!"

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As my forum identity implies, spikes/stiletto pumps are the heels I prefer. Some of my 3.5 to 4.5 inch equivalent heels I have chosen to wear publicly. I have also worn 5 to 6" stiletto platform boots on occasion due to the freezing cold and I can put a couple of layers of thick socks on to help insulate my feet.

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My earliest purchases had very high heels and as a result I could only walk in them by taking cautious short steps, so most of them were kept indoors.  At the time, I did not go out in heels very much yet, so that worked fine.

 

The last 6-7 years though, I've definitely made comfort my top priority and I prefer heels that can be worn for hours and I can walk smooth and take more natural looking steps.  Occasionally, I might still buy a heel for the looks alone (even if impractical), but for the majority of them, I make sure I am quite comfortable in before buying them.

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I have bought for both , I do have some pairs of boots which I will not see the public role as they are just not practical to do so.

In the beginning my initial purchases were certainly for bedroom fun some years ago but now I buy with intention of wearing in public.

Good question JeffB, as I and I think many of us have become more confidant in our wearing of heels we too have morphed our style

of purchasing and purpose of heels.

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I buy for both.  I don't know that I'll ever reach the point where I would wear a pair of stilettos out in the big bad world, so I buy those for at home.  But then I also look for chunky high heels for public wear, so as not to be too conspicuous.

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