Strong emotions, mainly frustration

[hiddenheels]

Alright, I'll use this forum for some self-reflection in an effort to get these thoughts out of my head. Am very very frustrated, at the inability to find the time to relax, and enjoy just being myself. Between work, kids, clubs, and family in general, I barely have any time to "just be". My wife knows about the heels, and she's OK with it, but not supportive. I'm grateful for at least that. But between all the other commitments, where heels are a no-go, I find that I can wear them for only a few hours a week, usually at home. Maybe take a short trip to a coffee shop once a week if I plan things carefully and have work that I can do there, and not at work. This obsession is driving me somewhat crazy, and the desire to wear these, and dress accordingly (jeans, sweater, jacket & heels - with stubble on my face, so not even trying to look lady-like) is super strong. This all ends up in frustration. Day in, day out. Been thinking about trying to push the boundaries a bit at work, but right now is not the proper time for this, perhaps in a year or so. Often frustration turns to anger, at really wanting to do something, but the inability to do it. Maybe I should discuss this with my wife, ask for her help, and try to go out, alone, a bit more often.

Today, at a store, me not wearing heels, I saw a woman dressed like I aspire to, with towering heels. Although it was only a brief glimpse, envy kicked in. *That's* what I want to do.

Is anyone content with what they're doing, vs. what they would like to do?

 

Feeling a bit better. Venting over...

[pebblesf]

Well, I guess I am so fortunate to have a job that gets me away from home several nights a month....I am getting close to retirement, but the thought of losing this "me time" is occurring to me more and more...

So, I can surely understand your frustration, because I am dreading this same situation in a few years.  It is very hard for me to advise you buddy, because I surely don't want to cause difficulty with you and the wife, or at work....Is there any compromise that might help out a bit?  In other words, instead of wearing towering heels, might lower block heeled boots be an acceptable substitute for now?  In other words, would the wife be willing to accept some boots like Frye, or perhaps some tall riding boots at home and in public?  How about work, might you be able to wear these boots there in a year or so?  If these compromises will not work for you or the wife/work, then will the wife be willing to give you a little more free time for solo outings?  In other words, would she be OK with you taking a trip in the heels you prefer to the mall, or perhaps a coffee shop on your own?  

Again, I totally understand your frustration, and I sure don't want it to progress into resentment...You have a full schedule with work, family, kids...But, it is important that you be allowed to carve out a little time for yourself every once in awhile.  We all need a little "me time".  But again, I don't want to advise anything that will cause problems at home or work...Stay in touch...Don

[Cali]

It's hard to push pass you personal boundaries, even frustrating at times.  Even for those of us that are full time wears, we still have those "second thoughts".  Today was one of those days. I wore a "outfit" to work that included a fuchsia color woman's jacket. (See CaliWorld for pictures.)  It was scary, very scary, but once I left home this morning I had no choice but to wear it all day.  And the world did not come to an end. 

Getting frustrated in just part of growing.

[p1ng74]

Contentment is not really a natural state for me, I’m frequently looking for the next thing lol.  But frustration is not pleasant either, and I echo others here who have suggested that you find some middle ground to get more heeling time.  My wife is very opposed to me wearing “women’s shoes” but she is ok with cowboy boots with 3.5” Cuban heels, so that is what I wear most of the time.  I save the slimmer heels for business trips away from home.  

[Heelster]

2 hours ago, p1ng74 said:

Contentment is not really a natural state for me, I’m frequently looking for the next thing lol.  But frustration is not pleasant either, and I echo others here who have suggested that you find some middle ground to get more heeling time.  My wife is very opposed to me wearing “women’s shoes” but she is ok with cowboy boots with 3.5” Cuban heels, so that is what I wear most of the time.  I save the slimmer heels for business trips away from home.  

I can relate to all of the above. Heels at work are a no-go. Wife isn't thrilled with my heels around the house, but she ignores it. I can get away with some pretty tall chunky heeled boots with jeans over when we head out as long as we are not around hers or my co-workers. Business trips seem to getting to be few lately. I have a few years to retirement, but I;m not sure this will be an advantage.

Not sure what the future brings - - - - 

[mlroseplant]

7 hours ago, p1ng74 said:

Contentment is not really a natural state for me, I’m frequently looking for the next thing lol. 

Boy, can I relate to that! I suppose that's why I have a lot of skills, but I do not truly excel at any one thing.

As far as fashion goes, I can't really say I'm frustrated in the true sense of the word, but I'm not really content, either. I don't really know where I'm going with all of this, or why. After retirement (if I ever retire fully, and I have no definite plans to at age 52), the only limitation will be good taste, and my physical abilities. Hopefully I have the common sense to stay within the limits of both.

[RonC]

I feel for you.  I worked at home for about the last 10-12 years of working life, which meant I could wear heels much of the day while my wife was at her job.  Unfortunately, when I retired and was just starting to enjoy the freedom that afforded me to do things like shop for heels more often, she decided to retire herself.  So now I have basically no time to myself at home save for maybe a couple hours per month.  And I find myself frustrated that I am unable to lounge in heels, etc. any longer.  Heeling is limited to the few times I can go out for a little shopping and change into the heeled ankle boots I keep in the car.  I miss my home alone time greatly.

[Pierre1961]

I can perfectly understand your frustration!

that moment will happen very soon for me too. At present I am partially retired and have a lot of time at home plus traveling also a lot  

Perfect for wearing heels nearly every day and all day long .In some months my girl friend will make a change and work from home  

Probably at the same time I won’t have  the need to travel as often  

That scares me because wearing heels is addictive and works as a drug on me  

Is the option of telling her about my heel passion a good one? Not sure at all.So far the small attempts I did were with no echo at all 

And if I do and it fails,then that could  be a real disaster .Seems to be a one way road  .No U turn possible 

 

[mlroseplant]

9 hours ago, RonC said:

I feel for you.  I worked at home for about the last 10-12 years of working life, which meant I could wear heels much of the day while my wife was at her job.  Unfortunately, when I retired and was just starting to enjoy the freedom that afforded me to do things like shop for heels more often, she decided to retire herself.  So now I have basically no time to myself at home save for maybe a couple hours per month.  And I find myself frustrated that I am unable to lounge in heels, etc. any longer.  Heeling is limited to the few times I can go out for a little shopping and change into the heeled ankle boots I keep in the car.  I miss my home alone time greatly.

Which is exactly why I plan on building a shop in my back yard just as soon as I get my house paid off. Which will serve the dual purpose of home alone time, and we might be able to actually park cars in the garage again.

[pebblesf]

4 hours ago, Pierre1961 said:

I can perfectly understand your frustration!

that moment will happen very soon for me too. At present I am partially retired and have a lot of time at home plus traveling also a lot  

Perfect for wearing heels nearly every day and all day long .In some months my girl friend will make a change and work from home  

Probably at the same time I won’t have  the need to travel as often  

That scares me because wearing heels is addictive and works as a drug on me  

Is the option of telling her about my heel passion a good one? Not sure at all.So far the small attempts I did were with no echo at all 

And if I do and it fails,then that could  be a real disaster .Seems to be a one way road  .No U turn possible 

 

I hear you buddy, I certainly have the same addiction.  You mention your girlfriend, so I am assuming you are not married.  I can only speak from a standpoint of what "not to do" unfortunately.  My other half knows full well about my love of high heel boots, but refuses to even be slightly tolerant.  I know he feels I "look silly" in my boots, but I fear there is much more than that going on in his mind.  I know he is aware that I bring my boots along with me on trips, but it is just not discussed.  He will bring it up every once in awhile which results in an argument that never gets resolved.  Ours is surely not a healthy relationship, even though we do love each other very much.  

 

I have the same dilemma to face in a few years when I retire.  There is no way I can wear my boots at home unless the better half is away, and that is a very rare occasion.  It seems as though you will have the same problem.  Tell us about the small attempts you have made to open up the discussion with your girl friend. I think you have to make some more attempts, even though your relationship might be at risk.  There are many possibilities for how she will respond, the worst being she will want out of the relationship.  I think she hasn't responded due to some sort of insecurity or just wanting to deny the whole thing.  I understand that you love her very much and don't want your relationship to fail after revealing yourself, but I also know the relationship will suffer if you feel frustrated or resentful that you are not able to wear your heels.  I'm just guessing, but am thinking your relationship will not fail, you might have to come to an agreement about when and wear she feels it is OK to wear your heels.  She will need time which is understandable.  But again, I will bet she already knows about your heels, and she has not left you...  As you know, our love of heels will not be denied, so trying to normalize/discuss it with your girl friend is very important for you.  

Again, I have never met you or your girl friend, so I don't to assume things or give advice that may be harmful.  I can only speak from a point of my mistakes in my own relationship.  I'm guessing you don't have any close friends or relatives you can discuss this with.  Keep talking here though, most of us can relate to your situation, many will probably have better advice than I do, and will surely be supportive.  Don

[Pierre1961]

Hello Don

Thank you for these kind words.It seems you have explored all faces of our main problem 

The purpose of my reply wasn’t to complain about my own ones. .Or probable one in the future. 

It was more to assure our friends here that I was fully aware of what their  feelings could be. 

yes I am not married anymore ,,having already divorced twice,3 children,grownup now,and getting married again is not an option for me   

My girlfriend doesn’t want to get married neither. We have been living together for nor 18 years and she the perfect one for me. 

She is very open mind on  a lot of subjects. But on this particular one I have a doubt. 

As i wrote before a  one way or dead end road with no possible U turn worries me 

All attempts I did were undirect ones. Just tests to give me an idea on how she could react if THE subject came on the table 

And so far I strictly don’t know 

Lets  see! And by chance this site exists by very nice friends with whom we can share our views. 

Thanks a lot 

Pierre 

[pebblesf]

3 minutes ago, Pierre1961 said:

Hello Don

Thank you for these kind words.It seems you have explored all faces of our main problem 

The purpose of my reply wasn’t to complain about my own ones. .Or probable one in the future. 

It was more to assure our friends here that I was fully aware of what their  feelings could be. 

yes I am not married anymore ,,having already divorced twice,3 children,grownup now,and getting married again is not an option for me   

My girlfriend doesn’t want to get married neither. We have been living together for nor 18 years and she the perfect one for me. 

She is very open mind on  a lot of subjects. But on this particular one I have a doubt. 

As i wrote before a  one way or dead end road with no possible U turn worries me 

All attempts I did were undirect ones. Just tests to give me an idea on how she could react if THE subject came on the table 

And so far I strictly don’t know 

Lets  see! And by chance this site exists by very nice friends with whom we can share our views. 

Thanks a lot 

Pierre 

Pierre

I know you are being supportive, as you always are.  I am glad that you revealed your concerns though.  Tell us about the indirect attempts you have made that she offered no responses to. Sharing your experiences with us might be beneficial to us also buddy.  The one thing we do know about your situation is that your girl friend offered no response, which is surely better than a negative one.  So, there is still hope for a positive outcome.  Do you ever go shoe shopping with her?  Perhaps if you go accompany her on a shopping trip, offering opinions and asking questions, she might get the idea that you are interested in heels also.  Just a thought buddy....D

[Pierre1961]

We often go for shopping together and she likes high heels. Unfortunate she doesn’t wish to wear heels anymore because of feet problems. I know she appreciated the look. But for herself or women in general. She is ok with some strange outfits as gothic or some gay guys. But me wearing heels? Different question. 

She is generally open mind,with some strong and rather good principles. But also straightforward and impulsive as a first reaction. 

It suits me because my nature is also more to be fast with the risk of doing wrong rather than beating around the bushes.

I don’t want to start a fire I won’t be able to extinguish 

[pebblesf]

9 minutes ago, Pierre1961 said:

We often go for shopping together and she likes high heels. Unfortunate she doesn’t wish to wear heels anymore because of feet problems. I know she appreciated the look. But for herself or women in general. She is ok with some strange outfits as gothic or some gay guys. But me wearing heels? Different question. 

She is generally open mind,with some strong and rather good principles. But also straightforward and impulsive as a first reaction. 

It suits me because my nature is also more to be fast with the risk of doing wrong rather than beating around the bushes.

I don’t want to start a fire I won’t be able to extinguish 

I hear ya buddy...D

[Cali]

I'm now divorced so I wear what I want, period.  I started to wear heels while I was still married. After another reconstruction, I was looking for shoes that fit my strange feet and found that women's shoes fit better that any men's shoe ever did. That was 2010 and I have not bought any men's shoes since...its a waste of money to me. I bought some booties (1.5 inch heels) and started to wear them.. Never told the wife, I wanted to see if she even notice them. It took over 6 months before she noticed.  By that time I had 5 pairs. Our relationship ended (not over heels). A few years later I discovered the benefits of high heels on my hips. Since we have two kids together, she will come over here ever so often. She has seen me in some of my heels, not all. But I will wear my knee high Jessica Simpson stilettos in front of her. She only had a few short heels and UGLY shoes.  She's noisy, if she see's a shoe box she will open it to see what shoes I'm getting (so I leave empty one's laying around). She has even asked to borrow some of my nail polish, to which I tell her to get her own.

I am in the process of looking for a girlfriend. I wear heels all the time and fingernails to envy. Very few women that say they are open minded really are.  But I continue to look while in high heels and with fingernail color, because I want a woman that has enough confidence in herself that she doesn't feel threaten. If she doesn't accept me in heels now, I doubt she ever will.

Edited February 16, 2020 by Cali

[jeremy1986]

On 2/14/2020 at 2:16 AM, hiddenheels said:

Alright, I'll use this forum for some self-reflection in an effort to get these thoughts out of my head. Am very very frustrated, at the inability to find the time to relax, and enjoy just being myself. Between work, kids, clubs, and family in general, I barely have any time to "just be". My wife knows about the heels, and she's OK with it, but not supportive. I'm grateful for at least that. But between all the other commitments, where heels are a no-go, I find that I can wear them for only a few hours a week, usually at home. Maybe take a short trip to a coffee shop once a week if I plan things carefully and have work that I can do there, and not at work. This obsession is driving me somewhat crazy, and the desire to wear these, and dress accordingly (jeans, sweater, jacket & heels - with stubble on my face, so not even trying to look lady-like) is super strong. This all ends up in frustration. Day in, day out. Been thinking about trying to push the boundaries a bit at work, but right now is not the proper time for this, perhaps in a year or so. Often frustration turns to anger, at really wanting to do something, but the inability to do it. Maybe I should discuss this with my wife, ask for her help, and try to go out, alone, a bit more often.

Today, at a store, me not wearing heels, I saw a woman dressed like I aspire to, with towering heels. Although it was only a brief glimpse, envy kicked in. *That's* what I want to do.

Is anyone content with what they're doing, vs. what they would like to do?

 

Feeling a bit better. Venting over...

Well, I can say I feel for you buddy, as my situation is pretty much the same. For many years I worked from home, and my wife outside of home -- and enjoyed the perks that come with it - you know what I mean ;-) 
Now I maintain an office up the road where I usually work from, unless I need to babysit. In addition, my MIL has just moved in with us - permanently... so for me too, opportunity is down to a bar minimum, and it gets to me a lot. Especially when I see boots out and about so often, with the cold weather - including my wife. As with you - she is not supportive, but says she is (kinda) ok with me doing so around the house, but just doesn't want to see it.  So I find myself really scraping just a few mins here and there now adays… and as you say, often feel the frustration, but less than you, it seems. 

Wish I could suggest something helpful, beyond the previous ideas. Other than those, I think the only other thing that MIGHT work, is trying to have an open and honest (but scary!) discussion about it with you wife - maybe even with a counselor/mediator if you think its serious enough. 

Keep us posted mate. We could all use a little support here and there! 

[chesterx]

Yep, I know that feeling of jealousy when a lady walks by  in a lovely outfit & gorgeous high heels. Felt that way for years. Thought about what I could say to you over the last couple of days, but  really there isn't anything that will stop you from feeling that way. It's just something that seems to be built into us from the get go. I eventually gave in to temptation. I didn't have the complication of family, as I'm 90 minutes away. Just know we understand & will help as best as we can...

[RonC]

It can be quite frustrating when we cannot spend time in our heels and possibly other clothing items we desire to wear.  I know I can sometimes come home grumpy after going out shopping and trying on some nice heels knowing I have to go home and forget about it as it would not be welcome there.  My wife rarely goes out on her own, maybe I get the occasional hour here or there.  How I'd love to have a whole day to myself sometimes!

[K2inheels]

Reading this thread has been somewhat of an eye opener for me. Maybe I was blind but I thought that many of the men on here wore heels daily like I do. My heart goes out to you guys that have to snatch whatever time you can find to wear your heels. It should not be that way. As for my situation, my girlfriend is okay with me wearing heels and will even go out in public with me if we are out of this area where people she knows or church people would see us. She is concerned about having people she knows around here gossiping about me wearing heels. Still it is better than what I have read in this thread. I also wear my heels all day, everyday such as to work, to shop, etc.

Now I do not wear bold heels or extreme heels. My heels are pretty conservative in color and design. My heels usually range from 4" to 5" heels with some having platforms. I do not wear women's clothing, though I do have some women's skinny jeans as they fit me a bit better than men's skinny jeans and go better with boots.

I do not know why spouses or girlfriends are so resistant to their man wearing heels? As long as there man can carry himself well in heels, can match his heels to his clothes, he should be okay. Maybe they are threatened by a guy being able to wear heels. I would not think my girlfriend has that issue as she can strut in some seriously high heels! Maybe it is their not wanting to have people gossiping about their man wearing heels. Look at it like this, we don't get upset when our better half wears a man's shirt, jeans, etc. Seems like a double standard here.

Good luck to those of us that have to wear our heels when the time presents itself. Maybe with the passage of time, more and more of society will accept and embrace men wearing heels out in public. We can at least dream...

Ciao!

[dagino]

4 minutes ago, K2inheels said:

 

I also have a marriage in order. My wife is also an extrovert. She loves me more than other people's opinions. Me too, for 30 years.

[pebblesf]

26 minutes ago, dagino said:

I also have a marriage in order. My wife is also an extrovert. She loves me more than other people's opinions. Me too, for 30 years.

You are a lucky guy, take good care of her!

[Pierre1961]

Yes you are a lucky guy. Maybe you also did it right. 

I think women dislike that people could think her man is gay. 

Of course we have to master walking in heels and match them in  a manly style. But that comes after and is more an excuse( pretext?) 

[Cali]

29 minutes ago, K2inheels said:

Now I do not wear bold heels or extreme heels. My heels are pretty conservative in color and design. My heels usually range from 4" to 5" heels with some having platforms. I do not wear women's clothing, though I do have some women's skinny jeans as they fit me a bit better than men's skinny jeans and go better with boots.

Just because a person wears clothing sold as women's doesn't mean you have to look like woman. Some women's version work better than men's. The only way we are going to get of these things as men's fashion is to acquire and wear them. Skinny jeans is an example. They wouldn't make skinny stretchy jeans for men if it weren't for all the men that bought women's. However, women's are still better fitting to me.

29 minutes ago, K2inheels said:

I do not know why spouses or girlfriends are so resistant to their man wearing heels? As long as there man can carry himself well in heels, can match his heels to his clothes, he should be okay. Maybe they are threatened by a guy being able to wear heels. I would not think my girlfriend has that issue as she can strut in some seriously high heels! Maybe it is their not wanting to have people gossiping about their man wearing heels. Look at it like this, we don't get upset when our better half wears a man's shirt, jeans, etc. Seems like a double standard here.

There are many emotions that women feel when they see a man in heels, and in my case, also colored nails. For each its a different combinations of these emotions. For some its okay if a random guy have heels on, but not okay if their significant other does.

Many falsely associate gender with heels. The only way to combat this is with counterexamples, be that counterexample.  Jealousy is something I have encounter as well; "how dare a man wear heels". ......

[K2inheels]

20 minutes ago, Cali said:

Many falsely associate gender with heels. The only way to combat this is with counterexamples, be that counterexample.  Jealousy is something I have encounter as well; "how dare a man wear heels". ......

I agree with that. I've had some guys ask me if I am gay, especially in the workplace. I always tell that that wearing heels does not make a guy gay. I go one to explain that for me, wearing heels makes me feel better, makes me more confident and I just like the way they look on me. For me, it is a process of talking with others when I have the chance. I am big on promoting men wearing heels. I might have come late to wearing heels, but now that I have I firmly believe that there should be no dispersion cast on a man for wearing heels. It is their choice.

Oh, on the "Just because a person wears clothing sold as women's doesn't mean you have to look like woman. Some women's version work better than men's." I totally agree with you. I have bought and worn women's blouses, tops, etc. in the past when I felt they made the outfit. Would like to do more in that way. I believe they call it fashion-freestyle.

Ciao!

[CAT]

Agreed.  I have more women’s 7 for all Mankind and Express jeans and jeggings.   The fit is better and they are much softer. 

[RonC]

For me it is as the old saying goes - if I only knew then what I know now.  It would have been different.  Would have explained my desires to my girlfriend before marriage, etc.  But nearing 50 years of marriage, and my health issues, my wife just doesn't need the stress that would cause her at this point.  It would be unfair to her moreso than it is unfair to me at this point.  So I take my fun when I can.

[jeremy1986]

What an interesting thread. Also comforting, knowing there are so many of us out there, that cannot enjoy the freedom of heeling.

On 2/17/2020 at 7:28 PM, K2inheels said:

I do not know why spouses or girlfriends are so resistant to their man wearing heels? 

I think is pretty clear why - 

1) jealousy (and that might be why your GF is ok with you heeling - because as you say, she can strut her stuff!)

2) thoughts/fears about one being gay, as @Pierre1961 mentioned above.

and finally -

3) I think anything "off center" will often rock someone's boat, especially, is that someone is someone close to you, and might be in the position of having to depend you (to friends, family, members of the community etc) 

 

 

[RonC]

8 hours ago, jeremy1986 said:

What an interesting thread. Also comforting, knowing there are so many of us out there, that cannot enjoy the freedom of heeling.

I think is pretty clear why - 

1) jealousy (and that might be why your GF is ok with you heeling - because as you say, she can strut her stuff!)

2) thoughts/fears about one being gay, as @Pierre1961 mentioned above.

and finally -

3) I think anything "off center" will often rock someone's boat, especially, is that someone is someone close to you, and might be in the position of having to depend you (to friends, family, members of the community etc) 

 

 

I think #3 is probably a very big issue.  I can't compare it to women wearing men's clothing, because they do that every day without question (there was an ad on this site that I looked at the other day that was selling direct copies of men's shoes for women.  Wing tips, brogues, etc.  Sad IMHO.)  But imagine if your wife or girlfriend decided she wanted to wear a false mustache every day.  It certainly would be thought of as weird and would be the talk of the town.  You wouldn't be jealous, and I doubt you'd worry about her being gay, but you likely wouldn't enjoy the undesirable attention that it would create I'm sure - and you probably wouldn't like the look either.  Men wearing heels, and especially a pair of heels designed for women, is still primarily thought of as being odd or weird, and I don't think that will be changing anytime soon.

[K2inheels]

1 hour ago, RonC said:

I think #3 is probably a very big issue.  I can't compare it to women wearing men's clothing, because they do that every day without question (there was an ad on this site that I looked at the other day that was selling direct copies of men's shoes for women.  Wing tips, brogues, etc.  Sad IMHO.)  But imagine if your wife or girlfriend decided she wanted to wear a false mustache every day.  It certainly would be thought of as weird and would be the talk of the town.  You wouldn't be jealous, and I doubt you'd worry about her being gay, but you likely wouldn't enjoy the undesirable attention that it would create I'm sure - and you probably wouldn't like the look either.  Men wearing heels, and especially a pair of heels designed for women, is still primarily thought of as being odd or weird, and I don't think that will be changing anytime soon.

Had not given much thought to that illustration of a woman sporting a mustache which like you said would cause some shocked and puzzled expressions from strangers. Thinking along those lines I can see why a spouse or girlfriend would be a bit put off by her man wearing high heels. But I do believe that the perception that a man wearing high heels is odd or weird or somehow wrong is starting to erode. I know in my own neck of the world, people that see me every day, have come to accept me, at least, wearing heels. It is just like the LGBT lifestyle just a few years ago was looked at as something weird or odd. Now days it is pretty well accepted in society. It will just take men and women to step up and be proud of a guy wearing heels. As more guys come out of the proverbial closet and wear their heels in public the tide of public opinion will slowly change.

So lets strut those heels and be proud we rock in them! Ciao!

[jeremy1986]

22 hours ago, jeremy1986 said:

3) I think anything "off center" will often rock someone's boat, especially, is that someone is someone close to you, and might be in the position of having to depend you (to friends, family, members of the community etc) 

Wow, so many typos in one line. Hopefully people understood what I meant, but just in case:

3) I think anything "off center" will often rock someone's boat, especially, IF that someone is someone close to you, and might be in the position of having to DEFEND  you (to friends, family, members of the community etc) 

 

14 hours ago, RonC said:

I think #3 is probably a very big issue.  I can't compare it to women wearing men's clothing, because they do that every day without question (there was an ad on this site that I looked at the other day that was selling direct copies of men's shoes for women.  Wing tips, brogues, etc.  Sad IMHO.)  But imagine if your wife or girlfriend decided she wanted to wear a false mustache every day.  It certainly would be thought of as weird and would be the talk of the town.  You wouldn't be jealous, and I doubt you'd worry about her being gay, but you likely wouldn't enjoy the undesirable attention that it would create I'm sure - and you probably wouldn't like the look either.  Men wearing heels, and especially a pair of heels designed for women, is still primarily thought of as being odd or weird, and I don't think that will be changing anytime soon.

I agree completely, and recently wrote this too on another thread. And the next level of discomfort is if she also has to defend you to others.