Dilemma

[walkingtall]

On Sunday, I was lucky and found a great pair of heels at Payless on sale for $12.  They're white and black stripped fabric with a 4+ inch thin patent leather heel which complements the fabric vamp.  The heel height curves the arch and instep nicely and the narrow pointed toe slims down my foot.  Both of which I really like.  the best part is they look super HOT on with blue jeans.  Considering the looks and the price the were a great find..

On the down side.  These bad boys either run small and narrow or the point is more severely angled than other pairs.  They're really tight.  I am a men's 8 1/2 and my heels are from a size 8 1/2  to 9 1/2.  So I'm use to wearing snug / tight fitting heels.  These are a 9 which is in the range that I buy.  I won't say that I can just slide them  on but at the same time I don't have to struggle to get into them.  They push my limit and I  can only wear them for about 30 minutes.

Since they were the last pair, the option to exchange them for a larger size doesn't exist.  The dilemma is to return these shoes for a refund or wear them for short periods of time until they stretch out or I build up endurance.  My head says return.  My eyes say keep them and enjoy wearing these HOT HEELS as much as I possibly can.  It's easy to just be practical, but sometimes you just need to live and do what make you happy.

I am new to heeling and would like to hear from anyone else who has been faced with the same dilemma and how did you resolve it?  

[beepy]

At $12, the cost to return them in time and effort may be more than it's worth depending on how much you value your time and how far you have to travel to make the return.  At least by keeping them, even if you don't wear them much, you can always place them in sight and enjoy looking at them.

 

 

[Cali]

I wear 4 inch heels most of the time, so I live by the principle that

Life's too short for heels that hurt.

A principle that a woman told me in the clearance racks at DSW when I was buying my first pair of 4 inch heels.

That being said, I do sometimes buy heels on clearance on-line and can't return them when then don't fit.  

So I try to savage my purchase. I went out and purchase professional shoe stretchers.  Great investment.

Case in point. I got these Steve Madden Gretchens, I wanted the OVER THE TOP factor when I wear them, part of my mess with you mind heels. I think they where $189 shoes on clearance for $39, I couldn't resist. But the toe band is too tight. Well they are in my shoe stretchers. Just tried one on and it is coming along nicely.

So to answer your question, I would take them back if it was easy, $12 is not that much.

Edited August 22, 2017 by Cali

[JeffB]

I agree with Cali. Style when it comes to shoes means nothing, and I mean NOTHING if they hurt your feet. It's simply not worth the trouble. It would probably be in your best interest to return the shoes and seek a pair that fit properly and not cause discomfort for you.

Edited August 22, 2017 by JeffB

[nzfreestyler]

I wear high heels all the time, mostly 4 inch or higher.

I agree with Cali and JeffB.

Pumps are my favourites and they shouldn't hurt, none of mine do.

Sales are great, but shoes should always be tried on unless buying another pair of a shoe already purchased (and always tried on at the end of the day because our feet swell during the day). Pumps should have a snug fit - nut not tight that it hurts.

[maninpumps]

You may also check the store and ask them if they can do a lot locator or order you another pair from the distribution center . I have had them do that in the past and gotten them within a week or so . 

[Cali]

Case in point: here is the SM Gretchen in traction.

[walkingtall]

Thanks for all the advice from everyone.  I appreciate your experience. 

As it was pointed out $12 is not much, so I'm still deciding whether to keep and wear them occasionally.

Because they really HOT and I really like them.

[Steve63130]

I have shoes that I love but can't wear for long periods of time. I think getting a shoe stretcher is the best idea for tight shoes. If they don't fit, MAKE them fit. Work on them until they do. Then you can wear them comfortably. If they're still not comfy, toss them or use them for decoration.

Steve

[jeremy1986]

I'm with @Steve63130 - at that price, its not worth trying to exchange ... keep them, enjoy them as much as you can, whether by wearing them or just watching or handling them... 

and when you feel you are getting bored with them, you wont feel bad to toss them or "pay them forwards"

 

[mlroseplant]

I'm with everybody else on this one, I'd keep them for a while. I have only a couple of things to add: 1) The shoe stretcher is your friend, like Cali said. Because my foot is ever-so-slightly wider than the average width women's shoe (I am somewhere between a B and C width), if a particular shoes runs narrow at all, the shoe stretcher will generally take care of that. Plus, the "bunion plugs" that come with the stretcher allow you to customize your stretching a bit. In the past, I have gotten rid of shoes that I now wish I had back because they were just tight enough in spots to where they were uncomfortable. Now with several years of experience, I kind of have a feel for what is never going to work out, and what will.

Also, in addition to their low price, it sounds like you don't wear them out anyway, so if you like the look, who cares if they hurt a bit for now? You're at home! When they start to hurt, you take them off, right? Plus, it gives you some experience to know whether these will ever work out. If you wear them 20 times at home and they hurt after 30 minutes every time, you'll know in advance, hey, I can never wear these out. That experience will save you some great anguish, because believe me, there's nothing worse than being half a mile away from your car at a crowded shopping mall or something and realizing that you should have worn different shoes.

Look for "high heel shoe stretcher" or some similarly worded search--they're pretty easy to find, believe it or not. Good luck!

[SF]

I had a similar "problem" last week.  I found a pair of sandals on clearance at Payless for 10 bucks!!!  The style was Lillian, a 2 inch kitten heel with an ankle strap, they looked beautiful.  I tried them on and they fit perfectly!!  

However I had already purchased two pair of ankle strap sandals in the past 3 months and really don't need another pair, so I walked away.  Leaving the sandals might have been mistake.  I may return and see if they are still there, if they are it may be an omen to actually buy them....   I guess you can never have too many heels !!!!   ha ha    Take care all, sf

[Steve63130]

SF,

"Don't need" is a terrible reason for passing up a pair of beautiful heels, especially if they're not expensive. Heck, none of us NEEDS heels. We WANT them, yes, and for lots of different reasons, but NEED? Nah, I don't think so.

Just yankin' your chain. Go back and see if the shoes are still there. Buy them! Payless needs more male customers for their women's shoes. Help them out and help yourself!

Steve

[Cali]

On 8/25/2017 at 5:07 PM, Steve63130 said:

SF,

"Don't need" is a terrible reason for passing up a pair of beautiful heels, especially if they're not expensive. Heck, none of us NEEDS heels. We WANT them, yes, and for lots of different reasons, but NEED? Nah, I don't think so.

Just yankin' your chain. Go back and see if the shoes are still there. Buy them! Payless needs more male customers for their women's shoes. Help them out and help yourself!

Steve

Sorry Steve, 

I NEED my heels. I wear heels most of the time I wear shoes. 

AND

I'm in a don't need situation with many of the heels I have. I have over 40 heels, which I think is enough.

I have enough boots right now - 9 pair,

I have enough wedge sandals.

But if there is a pair I just have too have, like the blue suede booties In my bag at Steve Madden, then I'll still will buy them.

I wear heels, buy heels, but don't collect them.

 

Edited August 27, 2017 by Cali

[nzfreestyler]

I wear heels ALL the time, I don't need as many pairs as I own and I'm always shopping for more. Every day I check the shops for new styles. I have 5 pairs of the same shoe for work - same color, the exact same shoe but a pair for each day of the week. I had close to 300 pairs last count - which was many years earlier. maybe 2013 ? I do retire shoes that the soles have worn through, or get the heels bent, but I retire fewer than I buy!! I have some shoes, all the same style but in many different colors, so I can match to my clothes better.

High heels aren't functional, they're beautiful, so I collect them but also get to showcase them on my feet - like living art. If I spotted a pair of heels that were slightly unique, had a point of difference and fitted me, then provided I had the cashflow I would always buy the shoe!

 

[walkingtall]

As I keep stating in my posts I am new to this site and to heeling, but I feel very much at home here and wearing heels.  I don't have hundreds of pairs of heels or even 50 pairs yet,  not that I don't seeing it happening.  Since I started heeling in mid July I have bought about 12 pairs.  Yesterday, I was at Goodwill and there were two pairs of band new pumps.  Both with 5 inch heels, one solid black patent leather the other red shading down to black patent leather.  I talked myself out of buying them: thinking you already have black patent and you already bought  a new pair this week.  I got in the car and started to drive home.  Like an addict I couldn't get them out of my mind.  Half way home I did a U turn, back to the store all the way hoping they'd still be there.  They were there, they fit,  they are mine.  For me, it is almost an addiction that I have to have and wear beautiful heels.  Maybe because men's shoes are so dam boring! I don't know.  Anyway this is my take on needing and wanting heels.

Edited August 27, 2017 by walkingtall

[pebblesf]

On ‎8‎/‎24‎/‎2017 at 11:04 AM, walkingtall said:

Thanks for all the advice from everyone.  I appreciate your experience. 

As it was pointed out $12 is not much, so I'm still deciding whether to keep and wear them occasionally.

Because they really HOT and I really like them.

Well, everyone makes a valid point, they aren't much good if you can't wear them...But, for $12, I would definitely keep them and attempt to stretch them like Cali says....

I totally understand your frustration....

[SF]

Steve,   Yeah I will bow to the temptation, go back and buy the darn things.   But for now I am on the road, and won't be home for a week.  If they are still there, they were meant for me!!  

Yes, you can NEVER have too many heels!!!  Saying that one has too many heels is tantamount to blasphemy....    ha ha   

Have fun all....    sf

 

 

 

 

 

 

[pebblesf]

34 minutes ago, walkingtall said:

As I keep stating in my posts I am new to this site and to heeling, but I feel very much at home here and wearing heels.  I don't have hundreds of pairs of heels or even 50 pairs yet,  not that I don't seeing it happening.  Since I started heeling in mid July I have bought about 12 pairs.  Yesterday, I was at Goodwill and there were two pairs of band new pumps.  Both with 5 inch heels, one solid black patent leather the other red shading down to black patent leather.  I talked myself out of buying them: thinking you already have black patent and you already bought  a new pair this week.  I got in the car and started to drive home.  Like an addict I couldn't get them out of my mind.  Half way home I did a U turn, back to the store all the way hoping they'd still be there.  They were there, they fit,  they are mine.  For me, it is almost an addiction that I have to have and wear beautiful heels.  Maybe because men's shoes are so dam boring! I don't know.  Anyway this is my take on needing and wanting heels.

Good work buddy!  It would be concerning if you were dropping hundreds of dollars on new heels constantly, but I'm sure the thrift store purchases were more than affordable.  It is hard to imagine having "too many pairs", and it is so nice to "rediscover" a pair that hasn't been worn in awhile (hiding in the back of your closet).  Sure hope you get this pair stretched out, glad to have you here....

[Cali]

3 hours ago, pebblesf said:

hiding in the back of your closet

Why are you hiding heels...LOL

I bought book cases (3 so far) and made extra shelves so I can walk into my closet and see all my heels and select what I will wear that day.

[Steve63130]

I've told this story before, but it bears repeating. Three years ago when we moved to our retirement cottage, it had only two conventional closets. My shoe collection was about 150 pairs back then, downsized from around 250 (just a guess) or so. My wife and I went to The Container Store, where they have a section of the store devoted to designing closets. We met with Becky and I told her I collect shoes, I have more shoes than most men, and almost all of them aren't men's shoes! She smiled and said, "Just 3 weeks ago I designed a closet for another male collector of women's shoes, and he was very happy with it. I'm sure I can help you!" Well, that broke the ice and we got along just great! She designed a closet with 12 shelves on each side, each shelf holding 6 pairs of shoes. My wife's are on the left side and mine are on the right. So that's about 72 shoes, plus those on the floor, make about 85 or so. Did I mention that there are 7 plastic bins under the bed which contain the off-season shoes? Each spring and fall I change over. I like the ability to see all the shoes for the present season so I can make a quick decision in the morning what I plan to wear. It's worked out well, all except for boots. Those we store in the front hall closet, and we keep them boxed up in our storage closet during the summer. It's all pretty well organized. Nothing is hidden in the back of the closet this way!

Now I'm beginning to have a problem. My collecting has not stopped and my rate of accumulation has exceeded my rate of culling, so the shoes on the floor are beginning to pile up and it's getting hard to keep things neat and tidy. Maybe I need to cull faster...NAH, bad idea. Forget I said that! I can live with the inconvenience. Maybe some day I WILL find some shoes hidden in the back of the closet! HA HA HA!

Steve

 

Edited August 30, 2017 by Steve63130

[HappyinHeels]

Steve,

In such a small area like Granville the burning question is who could the other man be so "head over heels about women's shoes". Maybe he saw one of us one day strutting our stuff? IT is definitely curious or just a crafty sales tactic. HappyinHeels

[HHMafia]

I have a pair of black patten four inch heel Massimo shoes. My first pair I bout many years ago. They are tight right over the ball of my big toe on both feet. So I got out my heat gun, threw a sock on, heated the vamp and put on the shoe. Stood up and walked a minute letting the "plether" cool, and whala no more preasure on the big toe joint. Worked perfectly for me. 

[Steve63130]

21 hours ago, HappyinHeels said:

Steve,

In such a small area like Granville the burning question is who could the other man be so "head over heels about women's shoes". Maybe he saw one of us one day strutting our stuff? IT is definitely curious or just a crafty sales tactic. HappyinHeels

The store was in the Easton Shopping Center in Columbus, a big city, not here in little Granville. That was the same place you and I went you visited here and we went to Bakers and Nine West. I have no idea who the guy might be. Spikesmike is the only guy I know on this board from Columbus, but I've seen his collection and it's very neat and orderly, so I doubt if he had a closet designed by The Container Store. If it's somebody on this forum, maybe he'll come forward and identify himself.

Steve

[HappyinHeels]

Yep, I remember the Eaton Shopping Center. Until that unknown person steps forward we have mystery and intrigue. In the middle of Ohio   HappyinHeels

[Heelster]

23 hours ago, Steve63130 said:

The store was in the Easton Shopping Center in Columbus, a big city, not here in little Granville. That was the same place you and I went you visited here and we went to Bakers and Nine West. I have no idea who the guy might be. Spikesmike is the only guy I know on this board from Columbus, but I've seen his collection and it's very neat and orderly, so I doubt if he had a closet designed by The Container Store. If it's somebody on this forum, maybe he'll come forward and identify himself.

Steve

I'm not that organized - - rules me out.

 

[pebblesf]

On ‎8‎/‎30‎/‎2017 at 4:00 PM, HHMafia said:

I have a pair of black patten four inch heel Massimo shoes. My first pair I bout many years ago. They are tight right over the ball of my big toe on both feet. So I got out my heat gun, threw a sock on, heated the vamp and put on the shoe. Stood up and walked a minute letting the "plether" cool, and whala no more preasure on the big toe joint. Worked perfectly for me. 

Cool, will have to remember this trick for sure...

[walkingtall]

Thanks again for all the advice.  Using several methods (stretcher and hot hair blower together) I have been able to get the heels to the point that I can wear them for about 2 hours before I have to give in.  Now at least I can not only enjoy looking at them but also looking at them on me.  That's the best part!

Again Thanks!

[Cali]

On 8/23/2017 at 9:37 PM, Cali said:

Case in point: here is the SM Gretchen in traction.

Before and After

Trying them on. still need to be stretched some more but getting there.

[Histiletto]

It is easy to get on "see shoe" buying or accumulating sprees to satisfy the inner cravings for heels or anything a person experiences. As Steve 63130 so aptly reminded us, there is no "need" for wearing heels. There are must have perspectives developed or dependent on the intensity of the desire to be satisfied, pleased, comforted, and/or completed. This is one of the direct effects from the personality tastes that naturally exist in each person. 

At some point every wearer of high heels has to make the tuff decision on some shoes to bear or work through any discomfort until they or the shoes become comfortable or to initiate a separation of sorts. Having to part with heel that you adore is harder than working through the familiarization process only to find you just can't or shouldn't wear them period. Which may be the more satisfying path, because you tried every possibility you could think of to succeed in wearing them comfortably.