pebblesf Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 Well, to me, "guys or women only" forums are just a guideline. I welcome female participation in the "guys only" forum if they are interested in the particular topic and have questions or helpful advice. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CAT Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 It's not a guide line I still have a mark for 1 accidental post in the girls. I think it's rediculous 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pebblesf Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 2 hours ago, CAT said: It's not a guide line I still have a mark for 1 accidental post in the girls. I think it's rediculous Me too buddy, I guess I meant to say it SHOULD be just a guideline.... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CAT Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 10 hours ago, Cali said: The poll says for all, so I took the opportunity, but there are other post I would love to chime in on, like high heels at work If you do you will meet Tech real fast 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LuvsStiletto Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 (edited) 5 hours ago, CAT said: It's not a guide line I still have a mark for 1 accidental post in the girls. I think it's rediculous I agree, and also find it totally ridiculous! Getting "marks", is so reminiscent of childhood, schoolyard, middle school demerits and other b.s.! I for one, don't need to be "set straight"! I do as I please, and have zero interest in being PC! I despise double standards in all forms, and while I don't blame the girls who wish to post in the male forum, that does not change the fact that it still is a double standard that guys can't post in the girls' forum, and I don't see the point in using a lot of fluff, to soften the fact that at it's core, it is very much a double standard! I agree with some of the other posters who indicated that we should not make a gender issue out of discussing the very thing that we all seem to be trying to eliminate gender issues about, to begin with! The bottom line is that there will be a certain number of male posters and a certain number of female posters, whether there is one big general forum, or if there are separate ones for girls and guys. The last time I looked, the girls' forum didn't seem to be a thriving metropolis of activity, simply because it was carved out specifically for females, so I really don't see the point, other than to create division. Edited April 18, 2017 by LuvsStiletto 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shyheels Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 I think it makes perfect sense for there to be a girls-only forum and for the rule to be enforced. The reason it is seldom active is because there are few women on the site at all, and much of that reason, I dare say, is because it is an overwhelmingly male dominated site, and many if the posters are here for fetish reasons, not fashion, and that is off-putting to many women who might simply have an active interest in fashion and nothing more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
at9 Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 This topic has been discussed on several occasions here at HHP. Shyheels correctly summarises the situation. I can remember a time when the rule of "no guys in the girls forum" didn't apply. Guys used to post often inappropriate comments in the girls forum; we have precious few female members at HHP and they deserve to be well treated. There was never a problem with girls posting in the guys forum so no rule was needed. I suspect that there is little day to day moderation of HHP at present as Tech (the forum owner) has many other commitments and there are no other moderators at the moment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LuvsStiletto Posted April 19, 2017 Share Posted April 19, 2017 6 hours ago, at9 said: This topic has been discussed on several occasions here at HHP. Shyheels correctly summarises the situation. I can remember a time when the rule of "no guys in the girls forum" didn't apply. Guys used to post often inappropriate comments in the girls forum; we have precious few female members at HHP and they deserve to be well treated. There was never a problem with girls posting in the guys forum so no rule was needed. I suspect that there is little day to day moderation of HHP at present as Tech (the forum owner) has many other commitments and there are no other moderators at the moment. All I'm saying, is that they have had their own "girls only" forum for some time, and it hardly gets used, even though men are not allowed to post. What few females do decide to participate on the site, end up posting in the guys' forum, because there is nothing going on in their own. Hence my point...a certain number of females and a certain number of males will participate, despite the restriction. I find, that most women who wear heels, don't feel the need to come into a male dominated website to discuss high heels with other females. Females have the luxury and benefit of wearing heels pretty much wherever and however often they wish, without much thought. Though many may love to wear heels, or love how wearing heels makes them feel or look, to them, wearing heels is merely a societal and functionally accepted part of being female. In other words, to women, wearing heels is about as big of a deal, as wearing lipstick, or coloring their hair. They may casually mention they bought a new pair of heels to a girlfriend, but most don't feel the need to get into a forum, to specifically discuss heel wearing with fellow females. Sure, some hard core females who are addicted to heels may, but the vast majority don't or won't, hence why you don't see many females on the site. Guys are here for the acceptance, the comradery, and the support, that most women don't need when it comes to wearing heels, because they wear them whenever they want, with little to no fanfare. It's no big deal to them. As for fashion...it's basically the same thing, most are not coming onto a male dominated heel site, to discuss heel fashion, with mostly guys. They have their own forum on this site now, and there are a handful of posts from within the last five years, which pretty much proves my point. I'm just calling a spade a spade. HHP is a great place, but let's not fool ourselves, most of the reason this site exists, is to have a place for GUYS to discuss heels! Sure, females are welcome, but the stats pretty much speak for themself. And no matter how you slice it, or try to justify the rationale as to why guys were disallowed from posting on the female page, it still boils down to being a double standard. I remember a time, when pretty much all topics about high heels were discussed by both men and women on the experience project website, and it really wasn't a problem. If any males on this site were guilty of not being civil or kind to females' posts back in the day when they could post in the female page, then maybe then, those males should have been reported, marked, or blocked, or whatever, but to totally keep guys from posting is a double standard. Again, there's nothing going on in the female forum anyhow, so what few females are active here, are posting in the guy's forum, which puts the whole thing back to the way it originally was, anyhow. It's just my opinion, but the whole thing just seems totally pointless, no matter how well intentioned it may have been. The net result, puts it back to the way it was, and there are still very few women participating on the site, despite the fact they have their own forum, no matter how badly guys here want to pretend that masses of women want to come onto a site largely regarded throughout the internet, and male heeling world, as a place for guys to discuss heeling with other guys, to talk heel fashion with other women, who instead of being here, are out and about wearing heels. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shyheels Posted April 19, 2017 Share Posted April 19, 2017 (edited) Well, if the girls forum is hardly ever used then why do you want to post on it? If there are topics there you think might be worthy of discussion in the Guys' forum or the For Everybody forum there is nothing preventing you from making an identical post on either of those venues, thus leaving the girls forum for the exclusive use of the women who do occasional like to post on it. Edited April 19, 2017 by Shyheels 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cali Posted April 19, 2017 Share Posted April 19, 2017 (edited) I am an everyday high heel wearer. That means I wear my high heels to work, shopping, etc. So I am into more everyday mainstream (designer) heels. I still want my women colleagues jealous of my heels so I want high heels that look good. So I really want the opinions of the female members. That's exactly what I plan on doing, starting topics in the for everybody forum. Edited April 19, 2017 by Cali 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hhboots Posted April 19, 2017 Share Posted April 19, 2017 18 hours ago, LuvsStiletto said: All I'm saying, is that they have had their own "girls only" forum for some time, and it hardly gets used, even though men are not allowed to post. .... The net result, puts it back to the way it was, and there are still very few women participating on the site, despite the fact they have their own forum, no matter how badly guys here want to pretend that masses of women want to come onto a site largely regarded throughout the internet, and male heeling world, as a place for guys to discuss heeling with other guys, to talk heel fashion with other women, who instead of being here, are out and about wearing heels. Epicly long post, but a good one that pretty much covers it all and really you have a good point that the gals forum restriction, while it has good intentions, has not really seen much activity regardless. As you say, this forum is essentially men sharing their issues and experiences about wearing heels in a world that pretty much sees that as being taboo. You can call it a fashion website all you want, but honestly... It is what it is. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LuvsStiletto Posted April 19, 2017 Share Posted April 19, 2017 19 hours ago, Shyheels said: Well, if the girls forum is hardly ever used then why do you want to post on it? If there are topics there you think might be worthy of discussion in the Guys' forum or the For Everybody forum there is nothing preventing you from making an identical post on either of those venues, thus leaving the girls forum for the exclusive use of the women who do occasional like to post on it. I never said I, myself wanted to post in the female forum, only that males not being allowed to post in that forum, is a double standard. I am of the mindset that there should only be one forum, for anyone to post in. Imagine the outcry, if women could only post to other women on Facebook, but men could post to whomever they wanted. Like I said in my previous post, it's pretty much back to the way it was originally, because the few women who post, post in the guys' forum, because they have no one to talk to in their own, so having a separate forum for them, that men can't post in, without getting "dinged", just seems totally pointless to me, which was the point of my original comments. I could care less about actually posting in there, myself, but that does not mean that I didn't observe how ridiculous the whole thing is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shyheels Posted April 19, 2017 Share Posted April 19, 2017 So much ink about a space on the site which hardly anybody uses and on which you don't wish to post yourself - it hardly seems worth the bother. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cali Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 I'm the one that revived this post. I had been looking through the women's forum and had notice several threads that I would have liked to post to, but didn't. I understand the reasons behind the women's only forum. So I will try to put stuff in the everybody forum instead Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve63130 Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 Whether we agree with the rule about men not posting in the girls only section or not, this is Tech's forum. He's the owner and makes the rules. We're all his guests here and we need to respect that. If you don't like it, you are free to create a competitive forum elsewhere if you think you can do it better. I'll warn you that it's a lot of work that goes underappreciated. The rule being debated here was not instituted based on fairness or gender equality; it was because men were running rampant in the women's section and chased the women away. Tech wanted to create a safe haven for them because some guys just couldn't play nicely in the sandbox. Steve 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LuvsStiletto Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 (edited) 12 hours ago, Steve63130 said: Whether we agree with the rule about men not posting in the girls only section or not, this is Tech's forum. He's the owner and makes the rules. We're all his guests here and we need to respect that. If you don't like it, you are free to create a competitive forum elsewhere if you think you can do it better. I'll warn you that it's a lot of work that goes underappreciated. The rule being debated here was not instituted based on fairness or gender equality; it was because men were running rampant in the women's section and chased the women away. Tech wanted to create a safe haven for them because some guys just couldn't play nicely in the sandbox. Steve You're right! It's his forum, and he can do what he wants with it. That doesn't mean others are not entitled to an opinion about it, though. I looked back at the post history of the female only forum here. It's more of a case, that there were not many women participating there, to begin with, than it was, that hoards of women got "chased away". We are talking literally, about a handful of women...about as many as currently post in the guy's forum now. The gals have had a forum all to themselves, ever since the rule got implemented, and their forum barely gets any use. There are a total of 21 pages of activity in the female forum, compared to 163 in the male forum! This appears to be a case of guys "wishing" women were more of an active part of this site, then they ever have been, or would have ever been intended to be..."fantasy" compounded with "night and shining armor syndrome", where guys rush in, to "save" women from guys asking how women feel about guys wearing heels...as if the ladies needed "saving" from something very few were barely participating in, to begin with! The more I read and look back on the history of this whole thing, it becomes more clear, that this is about a bunch of guys who want to get a "special star" on their homework...ie. brownie points from the flocks of ladies who are not even present, yet desperately wishing for women to have their own set of crayons, so to speak, so we can all sit around and read what types of heel related topics they post amongst themselves, unencumbered by droves of aggressive, thoughtless heel wearing guys, who may have had a few questions about a female perspective on heels, but drove them ALL away! Except, it didn't really drive them all away, because there were never many to begin with, and what few there were, are posting in the for everyone section and in the guy's section, because there is nothing going on in the female forum, even though they have had it all to themselves, for a while now. I just think the whole thing is more laughable, than anything else, because it is so evident how desperately guys want ladies to be part of a site, that by and large, they were never interested in to begin with. It's kind of funny, because it just points to the fact that guys are more approval seeking than women these days, and clearly need to be the knight and shining armored defenders, of what is quickly becoming the stronger sex (women do and wear whatever they want, and ask not for permission, or make apology. They wanted to start wearing pants, they did it! They wanted to start wearing heels, they did it! They wanted to start wearing male cummerbunds to formal events, they did it!) Meanwhile, guys are like, "is it ok if I wear 1.5" block heels to work?" The irony is truly uncanny! Edited April 20, 2017 by LuvsStiletto Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shyheels Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 Why don't you just ignore it and post whatever topics you want to post in the For Everyone section and move on? Surely the mere presence of a disused Girls Only forum isn't causing you pain? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LuvsStiletto Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 1 minute ago, Shyheels said: Why don't you just ignore it and post whatever topics you want to post in the For Everyone section and move on? Surely the mere presence of a disused Girls Only forum isn't causing you pain? It's not causing me ANY pain at all! Like I said, I just began to find the whole thing wholly ridiculous and profoundly ironic and amusing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thighbootguy Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 I posted my opinion several pages back but let me have one more go at it. I've been a member of this board for a long time and my first post was in a thread on thigh boots the gal's section (long before the rule was in place). Over the years we haven't had too many gals posting but often those that did were met with male chauvinistic or crude comments. The rule was put in place to give the gals a "safer" place to post. Most of the guys doing that kind of posting have either dropped off or have been banned, but times and attitudes have changed so the rule may be obsolete. I suspect if the gals had invaded the "For the Guys" forum with the same type of comments, there would be a matching rule about gals posting in the guys forum, but they didn't and the guys did so we only needed one rule. I really do appreciate the civility on this forum that the users maintain and that @Techenforces, and I think that most of the folks that have posted here for a while also appreciate it. As I said, times have changed and the rule may now be obsolete but we are still attracting new members and the rule stands as a reminder of lessons learned the hard way, so I think it should be retained. I have, after the rule was implemented, errantly replied to a post in the gals forum. When I realized what I had done, I clicked the Report Post button at the top of the post and left a message that it was an errant post and please delete it (with a promise to be more careful in the future ). Wearing heels and carefully stepping down from my soapbox... TBG I dream of a world where chickens can cross roads without having their motives questioned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meganiwish Posted April 21, 2017 Share Posted April 21, 2017 I've always said, if you're desperate to have an input in the girls' form, PM me and I'll do it for you. Otherwise, whether it's ridiculous or anachronistic or ironic and amusing is neither here nor there. It's the rule. This is how rules work in something where membership is voluntary. You have the choice to obey the rule or not be a member. It's not rocket science, nor is it moot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LuvsStiletto Posted April 21, 2017 Share Posted April 21, 2017 16 minutes ago, meganiwish said: I've always said, if you're desperate to have an input in the girls' form, PM me and I'll do it for you. Otherwise, whether it's ridiculous or anachronistic or ironic and amusing is neither here nor there. It's the rule. This is how rules work in something where membership is voluntary. You have the choice to obey the rule or not be a member. It's not rocket science, nor is it moot. Evidently, there is an assumption, that just because one doesn't agree with a rule, that they must have a desperate desire to do it. I'm glad so many people feel the need to remind me, that this is a "rule"! Oh, no...IT'S A RULE!?!?! Let me be clear... I have no desire to post in the girls' forum! Never did, never will!!! As stated BEFORE....that doesn't mean I can't disagree or have an opinion, and it doesn't mean, that just because I think the rule is ridiculous, that I am "desperate" to do it!!! The two are not mutually exclusive. I thought I had made that clear, in an earlier post, but I guess not. If people didn't express their opinions, or dissent when they don't agree with something, this world would be a sorry place! At least, much sorrier than it already may be! I totally understand it's the "rule", and that I am here voluntarily, however, I'm no sheep! If I don't agree with something, I say it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jkrenzer Posted April 21, 2017 Share Posted April 21, 2017 Is it me or this feed getting a bit tired? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba136 Posted April 21, 2017 Share Posted April 21, 2017 This dead horse has been thrashed long enough. Everything that can be said about this subject has been expressed. LuvStiletto, your opinion has been noted. So, let's move along? (I've never found anything posted in the girls section to be particularly helpful, anyway. For the most part, girls hardly ever express the same level of enthusiasm for high heels as most of us, anyway) Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LuvsStiletto Posted April 21, 2017 Share Posted April 21, 2017 1 hour ago, Bubba136 said: This dead horse has been thrashed long enough. Everything that can be said about this subject has been expressed. LuvStiletto, your opinion has been noted. So, let's move along? (I've never found anything posted in the girls section to be particularly helpful, anyway. For the most part, girls hardly ever express the same level of enthusiasm for high heels as most of us, anyway) I would have dropped it LONG ago, but people keep responding to my last posts, reiterating what I already know (or what has already said by others, as though they are telling me something I don't already know, just to "sound good" and "police" the thread! If people truly want to drop it, then by all means, let's not reply to what I'm writing now, and let's get onto a different topic altogether! Because if people keep responding, I'm going to answer them! I can pretty much guarantee, someone will reply to this, saying the same thing you, and a half a dozen others before you, have already said!;-) 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meganiwish Posted April 23, 2017 Share Posted April 23, 2017 So why would you answer if you want it to be dropped? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jkrenzer Posted April 23, 2017 Share Posted April 23, 2017 Ha, exactly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LuvsStiletto Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 22 hours ago, meganiwish said: So why would you answer if you want it to be dropped? I did not say that I "wanted" it to be dropped. I said I "would have dropped it". There's a difference! I'm not the one who necessarily "wanted" it dropped...everyone else was! However, I would have dropped it, if no one replied. So my question is, why on earth, would anyone keep responding, if THEY wanted it dropped? I'll go all day! I'm a tenacious mo fo!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meganiwish Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 4 minutes ago, LuvsStiletto said: I did not say that I "wanted" it to be dropped. I said I "would have dropped it". There's a difference! Yes, I misrepresented you. Sorry. So let me get this straight. You're happy to drop it as long as you get the last word? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LuvsStiletto Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 5 minutes ago, meganiwish said: Yes, I misrepresented you. Sorry. So let me get this straight. You're happy to drop it as long as you get the last word? Exactly!;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heelster Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 10 minutes ago, LuvsStiletto said: Exactly!;-) - - - - Now children - - - -!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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