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Anyone Too Scared To Wear Heels Outside?


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I like the fit and feel of a pair of heels but I'm not interested in displaying them to the public. I will sometimes go out at night, on my property, wearing flats but my heel wearing is indoors and usually alone. My current girlfriend knows about my interest and doesn't have a problem with it.

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I was wearing my wedge booties for the last 3 days to work, and it took my coworkers those 3 days to notice it...lol...especially funny because before work we have to change into our work clothes. Comment of one of my coworkers: "Hey got a little hangover? - No, why? - Because your'e wearing your girfriend's shoes..." That's all...no harassing, no dumb comments, just a pun i could laugh with and that's it. I am glad i did it.

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Too scared to wear high heels in public? Scared of what? What people think? Who cares. I'm going to wear what I want to wear in public. I won't go into a biker's bar wearing 5" stiletto high heels. Common sense does come into the equation when heeling in public. I guess I've been wearing high heels and in public for so long, I don't give it a second thought.
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I guess you wouldn't want to go to a place and get beaten up. But anywhere else, I don't care. I don't care what people think of me. To most guys that don't wear heels, it seems there is a link between wearing heels and your sexual preference. Dress the way you want to dress and screw them. There is no fun in wearing heels if you don't wear them outside. Getting noticed is a turn-on. In high street fashion areas of a major city, people are used to farout fashions. I went to buy some jeans at jean machine, the inseam was 35". I told the girl they were too long! She said you have to wear them with your high heels! Coooooool! Next time I go in to shop I'm wearing my 4.5" pumps! Clarissa.

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As for me, scared no, nervous yes, especially the first time. Practice and experience makes perfect. Once you are out and about, you will feel increasingly more comfortable and realize that most folks don't notice or even care that much.... sf

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All, Nice conversation. Those that have discovered the joy of expressing themselves through their clothes, or HEELS, have found the inner peace they ha ve sought to find out who they really are. Those that hold back have made the decision that their work or status/reputation would suffer if coworkers or other associates would judge them poorly should they find out. While I can understand protecting one's bottom line I do think that those individuals are becoming slaves to people they should probably get away from. If one excels at their job then what the hell difference does it make what they wear on their feet? This is probably a good reason not to be seen with coworkers. I have drawn a very big line between work and not-at-work. I live 33 miles (55km) from work, nobody at work has ever seen my wife, and I don't "go out to eat lunch" with coworkers when I can bring my own lunch and save money. I know a hell of a lot of people, like many, but trust very very few. I try to choose wisely and have yet to be burned. It could be that most people know better to cross me by saying nasty and judgmental things that they couldn't possibly say to my face or back up in court. I don't mess with other people but don't off the chance either and THAT'S why I keep my distance. In the end each person has to decide what's really most important to them. HappyinHeels

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Under usual circumstances, yes. I come across as someone very straight in public and I would not wear heels in publc. There just aren't any places where I live that would be conducive to coming out in heels that would make it easy to do.

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The reason for this site is because the world doesn't recognize, for the most part, that men can desire to wear heels. It was a societal decision that has created this situation. During the time when men weren't wearing heels, at least openly, society was in the mind to totally separate the gender classifications in order to put down any thought that men and women could share similar desires to wear them. History gives us many examples where men and women chose items to wear that have since been taken from their options and then returned when enough people were willing to show their contempt for the social rulings. The wearing of trousers, long hair, jewelry, tattoos are a few of these singularly classified items that can be chosen by both men and women to adorn their appearance now. High heels can be among this group of non-specified gender items, but society has to know enough men are willing to wear heels publicly for such a change to come forth. As women have already found out, heels shouldn't be worn for every activity the workplace or social event has, but there are time when heels would be just as accommodative as any other footwear per the individual's choice. I don't want to wear heels publicly just to say I can wear heels publicly. Heels should be one of the selections each person has to choose from in order to complete the outfit they decided to wear. Until this attitude is adapted by society, heels will continue to be considered only for the wardrobe of women and for the disgrace of masculinity as men wear them. Changing the way people think is not easy, until it is perceived that such a change isn't something that would cause harm and that there is enough support for it to proceed. Alot of men don't wear long hair and jewelry these days, but the option is there should they want to partake. Almost every women has jeans to wear, but they also have the option not to wear them. This is how heels should be available for men to wear.

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Scared, no, though sometimes I just don't feel the need to wear them outside. Say I'm going to be walking a lot, no real point in wearing high heels.

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Have you ever imagined yourself in the situation that women found themselves in when they had to wear dresses all the time. Those pioneer and factory women really had it rough having to wear dresses traveling over the dusty trails and working as manual labors with hot machinery. They had to constantly be aware of where their dresses were dangling, so that they wouldn't get snagged by something, get wet in the puddles, or be invaded by small creatures, such as ants or rodents. When women started to wear trousers or overalls back in the late 1800s and early 1900s, they could only wear them at work. For women to be seen in trousers away from the job would result in their job termination and social repercussions. If we knew their struggles just to change the social opinion, our timidity to wear heels would pale in comparison. Women are still encouraged to wear dresses and similar apparel, but they now have the choice in what they will wear. Men can achieve this same freedom, but we have to show how much we are willing to stand firm for our right to choose and endure all the other unenlightened prisoners of society that don't want men to enjoy the same freedom to choose for themselves as women have come to enjoy.

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hi guys.

yeah im scared but i think it's cause of the sound they make when walking on cement or other flooring.

You really need to give it a try. As you must have read from all the other guys out and about that nothing horrible will occur.

I just got back from having my hair cut and doing a shopping trip to the supermarket in the boots shown in my avatar. I love

the sound of the heels on the flooring. Had to wait about 15 minutes for a stylist to be free and nobody else in the waiting area

made any comments. I also didn't notice any odd looks in the market as I slowly went about looking for what I needed. I did see

one stocking person, a guy, notice but he had the look of I wish I could wear heels!

Just go out and try not to worry and act normal!! Have fun! It really is!

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Just wear the shoes because you like them. Nobody else needs an explanination about why you wear them! If you can walk gracefully in them and they don't hurt your feet, then you are wearing the proper shoes for the look you are going for.

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This is going to sound kookie but if I am with my lady friend ( who is totally OK with my heels habit ) I am braver and will wear any of my heels in public even in shorts. Not sure why this is, but it is so. If I am alone I am more timid and will wear HH boots but wilth longer jeans. Go figure that out ...I can't Sapoa

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Sapoa, Approval by a spouse or gf is a confidence booster. The presence of a female companion tells the unwashed masses it's not a "gay" thing. You're a lucky guy to have her approval. Steve

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Yeah Steve... I know I am lucky ..she's totally cool with my heel habit ..even a little bit encouraging at times ... Jut wish i were a little braver when she's not with me Guess I should be happy with it as is

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  • 2 weeks later...

Not scared. I do it from time to time. I manage an automotive shop, and honestly all I should wear are steel toed work boots. I've worn oxford heels a few times here, no real problems. I slip on heels to go to lunch almost every day. I haven't really had any reactions at all. Well other than the fact that stading in my nylon covered feet I'm 6'5" so a 4" heel makes me REALLY tall. But then, oh I don't know, 25+ years ago I thought it would be impossible to display hosiery openly as a guy. 25+ years of wearing hosiery openly has taught me that nobody really cares about what other people wear. Well, other than women judging other women, but that's a whole different bag of cookies. As someone said above, there are times when heels just don't make sense, and times when it would be nice to wear heels. On the occasions that it's nice to wear heels, I typically am wearing them!

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I believe that the works can only influence your heels if there is a dress code. For example, in my profession (consultant), when visiting possible clients I will not wear high heels as I don't want to scare them and blow up a business deal. But, it is work rules and I believe it is not appropriate to use the high heels. However, out of business hours, I have already went to grocery store and went out with a female friend in my 4" Ankle Boots, that are comfortable and I can walk on them without problems. In the grocery store, there were few people nothing, but I didnĀ“t care as this was my choice. At the pub with my female friend, there were no looks that I noted and it there were, I was enjoyng the pub and this female friend. Also, I showed her my high heels for the first time, as she didn't know and, first, she was surprised, but then accepted and we finished a night in a very good way. So, the high heels don't make me less male or a gay, in my case. Is just the case of shoes election. P.S.: While I am using my heeled shoes, I have a better posture and my back doesn't ache, compared with my male shoes. So, I am trying to use as much as possible my heeled shoes to avoid back aches.

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Scared? Nope! I have just made a decision that it is not worth the risk. I don't think my close friends would have an issue, but I am certain my work associates would an I can not afford to take the chance.

Pumped, I just wanted to kind of offer a bit of insite to you on this comment. While this is just my opinion and please don't take offense to this. I use to work in a profession (EMT) where I thought the same as you. Then one day I figured out this. I what we do in are off time and off the clock and off of company time is are own biz. Now sure if your coworkers seen you out and about in heels you may get greef, but that's about it. Most people are not dumb enough to translate that to work because if they do well then the game changes. I had a situation awhile back where a coworker found out about the way I dressed from someone else and found some pictures of me and sent them out to everyone I worked with. Now sure I could have easily gotten him in a lot of trouble but he did me a favor. When people would ask me about it and how I dreessed I told them the truth and did not lie. Not only did I gain more respect, but no one cared what I was wearing. From a legal stand point there is nothing anyone can say or do as long as you are not breaking any company rules as far as social networking goes. So please don't let the fear of your job stop you from being true to yourself. Just my 2 cents.

Steve

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I was out the other night at an outlet mall walking around in my almond toe black leather platform stiletto's. Was looking around the Aldo store and completely shocked the one lady associate. She claims she can't walk in what I had on and yet she said she was looking at what I was walking on and wondered how come it looked totally natural for me. (yes, I'll take a compliment when I get one) Would I do this anywhere close to home - - - Oh hell no. I've seen what the locals will do to a person who doesn't fit the proper profile of what is to be considered normal. Would it affect my job? Most certainly, Could it affect my wife's job? Yes. Would have an impact on my kids? yes. Once the kids are all out of high school, there is one barrier eliminated. but for me to risk my job, no way. There are not enough jobs around to take that chance. Losing my job would mean I would have to re-locate, and thats a cost factor I can't afford. I can't take that chance. I have already lost positions within my plant because of what I don't do, and wearing heels surely wouldn't help.

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If I remember right we are from almost the same neck of the woods. I totally get what you are saying. Yes people can be very harsh sometimes, and I totally understand your fear about work, kids, and everything else. One thing I have come to figure out is this. If you are doing something to violate your company policies then sure they could get rid of you. Like say taking a picture of your self in heels in say a work uniform on company time then dropping it on Facebook that would probably cost you your job. That is where a lot of people dig a hole for their self by doing just that. What I have found in my time with my 2 kids is this. They know how I dress, I have talked to them about it and made them well aware of what could happen when kids at school find out. I have left the decision to talk to their friends about it up to them. To be honest most of the times it's not the kids it's the parents. When I have had a parent say or ask me about it I simply tell them the truth and I don't lie. I tell the parents at that point if they don't want me to dress like that around their kids that's fine and I won't because I respect their opinions and feelings. Just believe me when I say I understand what you are going through it's tough. Just know that you are not alone and things will get better just don't lie and hide things because people will not want to trust you. Just my 2 cents. Steve

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I think it depends on the job you have, the responsiblities, and how aggressive are the other coworkers wanting your job or your promotion... Deciding people alone are just fine. When two of them are discussing who is going to have the promotion, who is going to be informed of the new opportunities, who is going to be involved in this new and great project with a travel to Florida involved, then there is great chances that subconscious elements are taken into account without them needing to be written in the company's good practices or its settlement... and against which nothing can be done should the outcome be either in your favor or discriminating.

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If I remember right we are from almost the same neck of the woods. I totally get what you are saying. Yes people can be very harsh sometimes, and I totally understand your fear about work, kids, and everything else. One thing I have come to figure out is this. If you are doing something to violate your company policies then sure they could get rid of you. Like say taking a picture of your self in heels in say a work uniform on company time then dropping it on Facebook that would probably cost you your job. That is where a lot of people dig a hole for their self by doing just that. What I have found in my time with my 2 kids is this. They know how I dress, I have talked to them about it and made them well aware of what could happen when kids at school find out. I have left the decision to talk to their friends about it up to them. To be honest most of the times it's not the kids it's the parents. When I have had a parent say or ask me about it I simply tell them the truth and I don't lie. I tell the parents at that point if they don't want me to dress like that around their kids that's fine and I won't because I respect their opinions and feelings. Just believe me when I say I understand what you are going through it's tough. Just know that you are not alone and things will get better just don't lie and hide things because people will not want to trust you. Just my 2 cents.

Steve

Yes, I'm just a few miles south of you, but that doesn't mean much.

Three questions.

Would you walk into a Steel Mill locker room wearing heels and any other attire not from the mens work wear department?

Would you walk through the county jail without an escorted in a similar fashion?

Would you walk into a biker club bar in heels and a skirt?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, then either you have much bigger nads than me, or your not opposed to the potential outcome.

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One unfortunate thing that we have to remember is that we are all thinking on a level that the general public does not think on. Most people are not free thinkers and are not taught to be such. They follow crowds, specific figureheads, and generally adjust their lives to the popular opinion. Anything outside of the popular opinion or their own understanding or comfort zone leads to some form of fear. Fear then leads to a form of the basic 'fight or flight' which could be either ridicule or actual violence or a general avoidance. Sorry to go all deep on everyone, but when you do something that goes against society's general opinion like men wearing heels, they're going to go into that slight shock, unless they're fellow intellectual open minded people. You can't let that hold you back though. You have to live your own life and enjoy this one shot you get. I wear shoes from the women's department daily, even at work. Now to be fair, they're not heelsand they're usually unisex looking (loafers, moccasins, etc) but they're what I like and they're appropriate for the situation. Make it work for you.

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Pumped, I just wanted to kind of offer a bit of insite to you on this comment. While this is just my opinion and please don't take offense to this. I use to work in a profession (EMT) where I thought the same as you. Then one day I figured out this. I what we do in are off time and off the clock and off of company time is are own biz. Now sure if your coworkers seen you out and about in heels you may get greef, but that's about it. Most people are not dumb enough to translate that to work because if they do well then the game changes. I had a situation awhile back where a coworker found out about the way I dressed from someone else and found some pictures of me and sent them out to everyone I worked with. Now sure I could have easily gotten him in a lot of trouble but he did me a favor. When people would ask me about it and how I dreessed I told them the truth and did not lie. Not only did I gain more respect, but no one cared what I was wearing. From a legal stand point there is nothing anyone can say or do as long as you are not breaking any company rules as far as social networking goes. So please don't let the fear of your job stop you from being true to yourself. Just my 2 cents.

Steve

For me the risk is just not worth it. No matter if my employer has any legal stance or not. Actually where I live the state employment laws state you can be let go without cause or reason but it does no affect my decision. Also the posible loss of credibility to my customers far out weighs the need to wear outside the home. We all make decisions based on the importance of the decision and what the end result may be. For me it is very simple. Although I like heels, they can stay behind closed doors, no need to go out with them.

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I am not ready to venture out in heels. I have worn my three inch platform knee-high boots out on stage for a gig one night with a utilitikilt. The front of them drop to about two inches. It was extremely fun!

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