Puffer Posted April 20, 2012 Posted April 20, 2012 Oh dear, have I stirred a hornets' nest? ... I'll give you gaudy, but I don't think Jason King looked effeminate. For that matter, I don't think Marc Bolan did either. Oh, I'm not trying to idolise the 70s, but I don't think we should demonise them either. It's always hard to set up a first home, and if we want economic problems we could look at the 80s, 90s, 00s, and now as well. And of course, like anyone, I can look back at 70s fashion and be embarrassed. I'm not recommending a return to flairs and platforms. My point was the different mindset. I just mean, you don't have to look drab to look like a man. And that there's nothing inherently female about high heels. Blend in? How many of the girls want to blend in? (Come to my aid here, girls.) I can feel safe in the company of a man I know can talk his way out of trouble, more so than a man I know fights his way out. Being a man is surely so much more than being big and aggressive. Actually, I'm not certain I can pin down what manliness is, though I have a feeling I know. But then, I don't know how to describe the taste of strawberries, but I know it. I'm not sure men know either, and I think, over the last few decades, part of the blame for that can be laid at our, women's, door. Goats and monkeys, chaps! I'm on your side. ... No, Megan, not a hornet's nest but a number of relevant emotions, as your expanded and thoughtful comments now indicate! I agree with everything you say about the 1970s etc (apart from Jason King's looks!). I was not singling the 70s out for special condemnation either, although they were never my favourite decade. And you certainly don't have to be drab, sloppy, un-groomed or go without heels to be a 'real man' (whatever that is). As to blending in, women are more prepared (and better equipped) to make an individual statement in their looks, but it is not so easy for a man, especially if constrained by his size, status or activity. And, as you say, manliness takes many forms and it is not all about being physically 'alpha' - and if you disagree with that I will sue the pants off you!
Foxyheels Posted April 20, 2012 Posted April 20, 2012 The best thing about the 70's is the limitless amount of fancy dress outfits it provides. I also agree that being a man means you can walk away from confrontation and be the better man. I'm not a fighter more a diplomat and yes it's down to not putting yourself in a bad situation in the first place that helps. The worse confrontation I face is a football matches but that's not a place to wear heels if you are a bloke so I don't. I agree my natural stature beng short and stocky helps people perceive me as manly so I have a little help there and some may even think I wear heels as I have some sort of complex about my height so a little more help. However some of the scariest people I have ever met have been shorter than meand of slight build so it's not everything. High heels are the shoes I choose to put on, respect my choice as I repect yours.
meganiwish Posted April 21, 2012 Posted April 21, 2012 - and if you disagree with that I will sue the pants off you! Just as well I'm not weari... No, I won't go there
Puffer Posted April 21, 2012 Posted April 21, 2012 Just as well I'm not weari... No, I won't go there ... wearish? wearied? wearisome? No indeed - I couldn't possibly accuse you of being any of those things!
meganiwish Posted April 22, 2012 Posted April 22, 2012 If you only knew how many people have found me wearisome.
at9 Posted April 22, 2012 Posted April 22, 2012 Yesterday my partner and I were unexpctedly given a pair of tickets for White Mischief "Royal Jubilee Gala" http://www.whitemischief.info/ We were told it was a Victorian/Steampunk event. We are not people who go mainstream "clubbing" and weren't too sure about how to dress. We did our best and looked OK. We were possibly the oldest people there:smile: Yes, I did wear heels though nothing spectacular, kneehigh boots with 2.5" heels over leather trousers OK, not many men in heels but plenty who had taken a lot of time and trouble on their appearance and clothing. Certainly nobody in baggy jeans or other "streetwear". There is hope yet for both the male of the species who likes to dress up and the female who is proud to see him doing it. If I had worn my 5" stiletto thigh boots I would not have felt at all out of place though my feet are not comfortable enough in them to have been happy doing so. My partner loves seeing me wear them.
SleekHeels Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 I certainly don't feel compelled to be a 'manly' man, just like I think women shouldn't feel compelled to be 'womanly'. And just because I'm a guy who likes wearing heels I don't feel compelled to be a 'womanly' man either. Some guys who mince around in a really camp way could be seen as presenting a parody or caricature of femininity, and actually women who mince around like that are presenting the same caricature too. The same could also be said of 'butch' women and men with respect to the masculine caricature. They're just stereotypes. A strong woman is no less a woman, a sensitive man is no less a man. For me it's about 'humanly' qualities, not 'manly/womanly'. Thinking about it, part of my wearing heels (apart from just liking the style) is because it's a personal expression of gender equality and rejection of the stereotypes. Perhaps some guys in heels expect women to be more sympathetic to that, and are perplexed when that turns out not to be the case. 1 If you like it, wear it.
ilikekicks Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 (edited) I think it's funny when a woman says she isn't attracted to the IDEA of a guy in heels. What women think they can be attracted to as an IDEA and what they are attracted to as a REALITY are often two different things. Every girl I've ever met has at one point in time fallen for some guy that defied their personal stereotype of what they are typically attracted to. An Upper East Side WASP who falls for a guy from the Polo Grounds Projects. An accountant at Deloitte who falls for the starving artist from Bushwick. The quiet Catholic girl who falls for boisterous fraternity jock. I'm sure you can fill in additional stories. Just go for it! Im living proof of this. Im a quite reserved individual. The person whos not seen and wouldnt be noticed endless I say something in a crowd. I intentionally try to just blend in and be left alone. Darian on the other hand.. shes the ' life of the party ' type. Always pushing herself to excell in whatever she does. Shes the one whom everyone turns to at work when something HAS to be done. Me? Im the last guy people ask. We blend quite well though and its a 50/50-mutual existence where were both VERY happy. People usually laugh and wonder how we can exist together because were very much in the ' very different ' persona types. It all just ' works '. Edited April 28, 2012 by ilikekicks 1 REPEATEDLY ARGUMENTATIVE, INSULTING AND RUDE. BANNED FOR LIFE.
Bubba136 Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 I guess those that question your compatibility have never heard that "opposites attract." Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public.
Shafted Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 I guess those that question your compatibility have never heard that "opposites attract." Quite right Bubba, complimentary personalities. They each bring to the table what the other may lack. A mutually beneficial relationship. Shafted, the boots that is! View my gallery here http://www.hhplace.o...afteds-gallery/ or view my heeling thread here http://www.hhplace.org/topic/3850-new-pair-of-boots-starts-me-serious-street-heeling/ - Pm me if you want fashion advice or just need someone to talk to.
meganiwish Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 I guess those that question your compatibility have never heard that "opposites attract." Quite right Bubba, complimentary personalities. They each bring to the table what the other may lack. A mutually beneficial relationship. Don't we all hold our admiration for what we're not, or what we can't do? I sometimes think that love is all about who we wish we were. From 'Trumpets' by The Waterboys: I want to be with you, And to find myself in the best of dreams. Because being with you Is the same as being you. 1
Foxyheels Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 My first wife was very similar to me character wise, it didn't work. Me and MrsF are 'opposites' and it works wonderfully. Of course it does help that she's slim attractive, younger than me and doesn't mind me in heels but you get a bit of luck in life and have to grab it. High heels are the shoes I choose to put on, respect my choice as I repect yours.
Gudulitooo Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 (edited) To bump this thread I found a nice blog from a french girl living in New York. She seems to appreciate cute guys, even with heels on. And the number of comments is impressive. It should have been posted elsewhere but I can't find it (2008). Edited June 7, 2012 by Gudulitooo
meganiwish Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 My point was the different mindset. I just mean, you don't have to look drab to look like a man. And that there's nothing inherently female about high heels. To bump this thread I found a nice blog from a french girl living in New York. She seems to appreciate cute guys, even with heels on. And the number of comments is impressive. It should have been posted elsewhere but I can't find it (2008). I think the photos rather prove my point. I still wish young men wouldn't do that stubble thing though.
Heelster Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 To bump this thread I found a nice blog from a french girl living in New York. She seems to appreciate cute guys, even with heels on. And the number of comments is impressive. It should have been posted elsewhere but I can't find it (2008). Web page doesn't have an english version - - Never took french - -
at9 Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 (edited) Web page doesn't have an english version - - Never took french - - Google translate does a fair attempt: http://translate.goo...3/05/easy-boys/ There's quite a lot of colloquial french in there which I really don't understand and doesn't translate well in google Edited June 8, 2012 by at9
Chorlini Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 I think it's funny when a woman says she isn't attracted to the IDEA of a guy in heels. What women think they can be attracted to as an IDEA and what they are attracted to as a REALITY are often two different things. I agree. If women were attracted in reality to what they say they wanted nice guys would get all the girls. Alas, in reality nice guys always finish last.
CassieJ Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 Sorry, but I don't consider what those guys are wearing to be heels. They are more cowboy boot like heels. Until it his 3+ inches, it's not really a heel. Cassie - http://www.fetishforhighheels.com
Gudulitooo Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 At9, Heelster, please ask if you want to go beyond the google translation. CassieJ : I agree with you but either you have a fashion blog with a man in real nice shoes, and only comments from guys, or you have this kind of blog, with valuable info in the comments from girls.
Bubba136 Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 I'm with CassieJ. Even if the shoes they are wearing are styled to be woman's shoes, there is still enough to question weather or not they are when worn by a man. Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public.
HHeeler Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 (edited) Years ago my college psychology professor stood before the class and with the over dramatic flourish of magician prior to performing a trick said, "Picture a behavior, any behavior, no matter how strange** it may seem to you," after pausing a bit he then finished with "and somewhere, someone is very attracted to that behavior." So, sure, there are women who like guys in heels. There are women who prefer men in heels. And some here a lucky enough to be with them. But is this the "norm" for most women and it is something that could be generally accepted over time? I'm not so sure. Much of it has been touched here on prior to my jumping in, but I'll say the hurdles are: - Territorial. Some women want the objects that they see as making them special to remain that way. Not to be shared across gender lines. While many other things have been co-opted over time (earrings), heels have stood fast. In part because they are one of the most powerful symbols of femininity. - Aesthetics. Most men can't pull it off. Body types in some cases, and the design of our clothes don't lend themselves to the look. - Gender Roles. The genders are different. What attracts some women to men are those differences. Some women take comfort in the differences, particularly those borne of "manliness". Anything that dilutes that is undesirable, and those traits that are "broadcast" to the world at large (like heel wearing), even less so. Inability to Shake Environment. Environment, the way we are raised, is a powerful thing. And with some women asking them to put aside years of understanding what is "normal" is asking a lot. ** As a heel wearer, I'm clearly not saying heel wearing is strange. Making a point. Edited June 15, 2012 by HHeeler
Stiefelman Posted June 16, 2012 Posted June 16, 2012 Hello, not every woman want to see a man in heels. But there are may wowen like it when the men do it.
saudade Posted June 16, 2012 Posted June 16, 2012 I just wanted to throw my $0.02 into the ring. First up I hate this poll topic in general, but whatever. From what I've found, the women that aren't attracted to guys being "outside the norm", normally aren't worth pursuing anyway. I know I'm overgeneralizing with this comment so don't miss-understand me nor take this to be an absolute statement. As an example, just a few nights ago I met 2 awesome blondes that kicked off the conversation with the shoes at a bar, and that segued into other topics. Mainly me being a total computer nerd, I demonstrated my beta iphone app I'm building (its for cars and odb2 stuff, long story, and will take too long to explain). But to be honest the shoes weren't much of a focus once conversation progressed other than a "hmm thats odd, lets find out why" vibe at the start. Basically what I'm saying is the people that will judge you based on who you are and whats inside of your skull versus what is attached to your feet are the ones you want to filter for. Also, on that note, be interesting and have varied interests, one of them was a lawyer and needless to say this is the first time anyone has been impressed with my knowledge of Descartes, Kant, etc... In short, do they? No, not all, but the ones that do, or don't care that you wear them are the ones worth talking to. And from past experience they also seem to be the most interesting intellectually. Which is somewhat important long-term, because we're all going to get ugly as we age, but hopefully we keep improving our minds. At least that's what I look for.
meganiwish Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 HHeeler, I largely agree with you. Of course I was socialised as a girl, I can't help that. But I was brought up to be tolerant too. What I like is in some way part of how I was socialised. But I don't care what others do if it does no-one any harm. Saudade, you're right, so many more things matter than what you're wearing. And I agree with Descartes' stance on alcohol (...therefore I am), but I find Kant quite unreadable. Still, that's a personal thing, as it all is.
saudade Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 Saudade, you're right, so many more things matter than what you're wearing. And I agree with Descartes' stance on alcohol (...therefore I am), but I find Kant quite unreadable. Still, that's a personal thing, as it all is. Oh don't get me wrong, I'm not going to get into my viewpoints on most of the major philosophers here. It would take forever, I just immediately thought of the Categorical Imperative and ran with Kant as my before "etc..." name is all. >.<
HHeeler Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 Another thought: Everyone has their likes and dislikes and what makes the opposite/same sex attractive. If a man in heels falls outside of those parameters for a girl and her ability to be attracted to a man, so be it. It is not inherently a problem with the woman, but a preference. And most of the world is, or at one point was, seeking out the perfect mate built upon these preferences, So - I don't begrudge them not being attracted to something that falls out of the "norm." If, however, it goes beyond just a preference in a partner or a look and is a warning sign of a more narrow minded view of the world at large, or a superficial shallowness based on appearance alone, then it would give me pause, and is now clearly the woman's problem.
Amanda Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 Surely It's only the womans problem if she finds that she has become hooked up with a guy who insists on wearing heels?
HHeeler Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 I see my love of mile long run on sentences has confused my point. Not a problem: women who have a personal preference ("personal preference" being the operative term here) for a partner who does not wears heels, Problem: if is not just a personal preference but a closed minded/shallow world view, and is just one of many that woman holds.
Amanda Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 So does that mean that I'm closed minded and shallow ?
HHeeler Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 I don't know you. I wouldn't assume to know anything about the way you think, narrow minded, shallow or otherwise. Enlighten me.
Recommended Posts