jwhite44 Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 Seems like right now she is trying to break you, to get you to give up wearing heels yourself. Assuming that won't work, I wonder what her next plan will be: - will she come to accept them - will she just say, "I don't want you to wear them" Obviously an ongoing story... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Glosha Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 Seems like right now she is trying to break you, to get you to give up wearing heels yourself. Assuming that won't work, I wonder what her next plan will be: - will she come to accept them - will she just say, "I don't want you to wear them" Obviously an ongoing story... By the looks how she reacts I think it will be second. But @ the same time she don't want me to start sneaking out in heels without her knowing about it. I will try to keep the story posted. Looks like there are a lot of interested ppl in it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Black Shorts Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 I would love to but need to buy some..lol..I only have a pair of black open toe mules and although they look fine with my shorts I wonder about trying other heels with them. Though hopefully soon I'll have the confidence to go out with them on... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pebblesf Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 By the looks how she reacts I think it will be second. But @ the same time she don't want me to start sneaking out in heels without her knowing about it. I will try to keep the story posted. Looks like there are a lot of interested ppl in it [/quote I hope your girlfriend will be accepting of your love of heels...I truly admire your mission of being yourself with her, regardless of her reacton... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Glosha Posted November 24, 2011 Share Posted November 24, 2011 I hope your girlfriend will be accepting of your love of heels...I truly admire your mission of being yourself with her, regardless of her reacton... I'm puzzled! Maybe because she's a girl, but she keep changing her mind all the time. Today I suggested her to go to a fetish event where she could keep me in heels until I fall or crack down and she sounded like she's up to that. If this will happen on a weekend, I either wouldn't be a able to walk or I'll prove to her that I can stay in 4" for longer than she thinks. Personally, I think I can handle 1-1.5 hrs in heels, but if I'll have to be in them longer then I think I'll be in trouble. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve63130 Posted November 24, 2011 Share Posted November 24, 2011 It sounds to me like you equate high heels and fetish, and thus your gf does too, which may be why she's embarrassed to go out with you in hh. In her mind, it's exposing part of you that is private and should not be exposed in public. For a lot of guys, myself included, who started out heeling as a fetish or sexual thrill, we've "trained" or conditioned our SO's to see men in heels that way, too. Once we get over the thrill and it's no longer such an arousal (we just wear because we love doing it), our SO's are still programmed that it should be a private ("bedroom") activity. We've changed the goalposts without realizing it when we want to go public, and they're totally bewildered by our actions. No wonder your gf appears to be changing her mind. She's flustered by trying desperately to get you to give up wearing hh in public. I think you two need to sit down and discuss the issues, the desires, the fears, and find out if you can reach a happy compromise. If not, you're just frustrating each other and wasting your time together. We can predict that the relationship will fail. Just my 2 cents. Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jwhite44 Posted November 24, 2011 Share Posted November 24, 2011 ...Personally, I think I can handle 1-1.5 hrs in heels, but if I'll have to be in them longer then I think I'll be in trouble. First, I think Steve63130's analysis is right on the mark. Seems like there's a big blur between wearing heels "for pleasure" - willing to do in public, and as a fetish - typically done in private. I don't really need to expand on Steve63130's comments. What I'd add is if your heel wearing is to a degree, a sprint or a marathon. High (4"+) heels can be a rush to wear, especially at the beginning of your heeling phase (compared to typical men 'flat' shoes, they are vastly different). But 'newbies' likely won't be able to wear them (at least wear them well), out in public, for an extended period of time. If you're in this for the long haul, then I think a better approach is "low & wide". Pick something that you have a much better chance of wearing for an extended period, something perhaps that doesn't scream "feminine shoe". Also, perhaps something that you can wear more discreetly, so she isn't concerned that EVERYONE around her is looking at your shoes. If/when she's accepting, and you go to fetish events, then likely less issues with you wearing a more extreme pair: whether that be 5" heels, or over the knee boots. To me, it seems like your g/f still might be on the fence with you, perhaps unsure if she wants to stay with you. I'm hoping you can "gently tug" her over to your side, instead of her falling further away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyinHeels Posted November 24, 2011 Share Posted November 24, 2011 Steve63130, Awesome reply and quintessentially articulate! We'll call this one the "Shakespearean Quote of the Day". It's just a matter of deciding which shoes are better for daily wear and which ones are better for fetish/private/special times no different than the girls. HappyinHeels:wavey: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loquito Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 well hello everyone . this is my first post . i can say that is not easy to go out in heels, i found this website a couple of days ago, but i have been venturing out in public on and off for the last 3 months or so and lately a lot more frequently, i am still the stage of wearing heels while driving, or when i go to gas station, i was wearing a pair of 4 and a half inch heel sandals with only one strap that goes across the toes and the other one around the ankle, i wear long jeans so you could only see my toes. always very aprehensive for obvious reasons, i was also wearing, some black peep toe pums with a half and inch platform and they are around 4 inches as well, but again the problem is that i still dont have the courage to walk freely in those as the shoe will be fully exposed basically, so in order to make thing easier since one thing is walking in your living room and another one i walking on pavement i wento macys and bought a pair or boots with 3 1/2 inch heel stiletto of course and expent most of the day last saturday wearing them, i went into a small grocery store to buy some things the clerk was cleaning the floor and was basically on his knees when i came in and told me to wait outside for a minute, he did not even noticed or care, went to the gas station put some gas, went in to the store used the rest room , there was to female clerks and a couple of more customers no one seemed to care, i got very nervous because to the sound, and finally today i went to macys and kohls and walk inside the store with no stares " i think" the heel is covered almost completely by my jeans but the tip of the shoe is not masculine at all. i guess that only proves what everyone says here, no one cares i guess the will only notice if the pay close attention or are looking for that or if you wear a fully exposed shoe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shafted Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 I think you'll find those boots a much better choice for your early trips out in public. Trust me, people notice. It's just not that big a deal to them. Shafted, the boots that is! View my gallery here http://www.hhplace.o...afteds-gallery/ or view my heeling thread here http://www.hhplace.org/topic/3850-new-pair-of-boots-starts-me-serious-street-heeling/ - Pm me if you want fashion advice or just need someone to talk to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thighbootguy Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 First, WELCOME to the forum. I agree with Shafted, boots are a much easier from of footwear to go out in. When you go out, don't be concerned about hiding your heels. People will see them. The trick is to really not care if people see them or not. To pull this trick off you have to be confident in the look you are presenting. If you display confidence, people will recognize and respect it however, if you look (or feel) like you are trying to hide something, people will recognize that and take advantage of it. The test is to look at yourself in mirror and see if you like the look you are presenting. If you do, go for it, but if you don't like it don't expect other people to like it either. The next advice for new heel wearers is to practice and then practice some more until you are walking smoothly and above all confidently. Enjoy your heels! I dream of a world where chickens can cross roads without having their motives questioned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pebblesf Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 First, WELCOME to the forum. I agree with Shafted, boots are a much easier from of footwear to go out in. When you go out, don't be concerned about hiding your heels. People will see them. The trick is to really not care if people see them or not. To pull this trick off you have to be confident in the look you are presenting. If you display confidence, people will recognize and respect it however, if you look (or feel) like you are trying to hide something, people will recognize that and take advantage of it. The test is to look at yourself in mirror and see if you like the look you are presenting. If you do, go for it, but if you don't like it don't expect other people to like it either. The next advice for new heel wearers is to practice and then practice some more until you are walking smoothly and above all confidently. Enjoy your heels! You are sooo right.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyinHeels Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 loquito, Going out in heels is as easy, or as hard as you want to make it my friend. Just follow the advice of Thighbootguy for these three reasons; 1-Look at the number of thanks this dude has so he must be in high regard; 2-He is 65 years old and you can learn an awful lot from someone with a library's worth of experience; and 3-Because his advice is advice is simple, thoughtful, and always accurate. emember we are talking shoes here and they are, after all, YOUR feet so take pride in what you put on and enjoy yourself! HappyinHeels:wavey: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jwhite44 Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 Welcome. A common recommendation I have for those just starting, is to consider ankle boots with a wider (block) heel. As others have pointed out, you'll never completely hide the heels (either visually or audibly). So consider at least at the beginning, going for something that if it's seen or heard, isn't as likely to draw attention. The biggest thing IMHO at the beginning is to build up your confidence. You could be walking right next to senior heelers on this website, wearing the same outfit. They might be thinking about a shopping list, whereas you might be dripping sweat, thinking that everyone around is looking at you. So I think it helps to pick shoes that, "More than likely, even if someone gets a glimse of them, they'll just ignore them." That lets you go out, and just focus on your walking (which is different in heels than male flats), without thinking there's a big spotlight on you. Once you get to this point, it's easier to go out in stillettos and other more feminine-looking footwear. I'm looking forward to hearing about your future outings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Glosha Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 I'm glad to be in Toronto as I found great web site with a fet comunity and on Dec. 16 I'm going out to club, where nobody will care what I wear. Kinky Kristmas is coming to Toronto and I'll be in my 4" heels first time out in public. Hope I'll have a lot of positive remarks of me wearing heels. I suggest to find your local comunity through fetlife.com and go out not alone. This will boost your confidence. If you'll not find a comunity, try building one. Sometimes people need a push to come out of the closet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
legs777777 Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 Without a doubt this site has given me the courage to go outside in daylight wearing a pair of four inch boots, this was done on christmas day 2011, also I would like to thank all the people on this site who replied to questions and posts who have also helped me after 35 + years of hiding away wishing I could go outside. So to all a heart felt thank you. Regards Legs777777 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jerbare Posted December 29, 2011 Share Posted December 29, 2011 Yes it has but all of the shoes but my red pumps are 5" or higher and sandals so I'm going shoe shopping Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rei Posted December 31, 2011 Share Posted December 31, 2011 I'm still working on the courage thing. ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛABΕ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
legs777777 Posted December 31, 2011 Share Posted December 31, 2011 Trust me my friend after the first time you wont look back, take the first step, everyone helped me here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rei Posted January 1, 2012 Share Posted January 1, 2012 Thanks, Legs, I've actually made one of my New Year's resolutions to start heeling. I hope I have some breakthroughs. ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛABΕ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
legs777777 Posted January 1, 2012 Share Posted January 1, 2012 Good, then just go for it, you will feel great afterwords. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeffB Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 Thanks, Legs, I've actually made one of my New Year's resolutions to start heeling. I hope I have some breakthroughs. Good for you. The thrill that comes from you first public outing is indescribable, something you'll remember for a long time. For sure, there will be nervousness as well, but once you conquer that, the rest will be easy. I don't want to LOOK like a woman, I just want to DRESS like a woman! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jerbare Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 ok I really jumped in to the new year. I just found tis site a week ago. Wanted to go on a road trip with the vette all last year but never did any driin with heels and it will take a little corrage because i will need to wear sandals. but today i went to the job sites wearing my 4" red pumps to check the job. i did change before I went in to the job. But then I thought what the heck I went to payless and bought a pair of 3" suade boots. So since I have a new pair I had to put them on. I then went to a department store with my new heels to buy a new pair of jeans. The first 2 min was the most unerving it sounded likethe heels hitting the pavement were loud but I walked as if nothing was wrong and no one noticed and if they did o well. I then I went to lowes to get some material for the worksite. I then went to the bank to get a loan for a suv again nothing. So then with the way the day was going y next trip was to visit my realatior. Then on the way out of town a trip to the gas station and all went with out a problem. So armed with my new found confindance I stopped at the 5 plex that I own and checked on some lighting issues and visited with a new tenat. What a day for some one that would not get out of the house with heels last week Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pebblesf Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 ok I really jumped in to the new year. I just found tis site a week ago. Wanted to go on a road trip with the vette all last year but never did any driin with heels and it will take a little corrage because i will need to wear sandals. but today i went to the job sites wearing my 4" red pumps to check the job. i did change before I went in to the job. But then I thought what the heck I went to payless and bought a pair of 3" suade boots. So since I have a new pair I had to put them on. I then went to a department store with my new heels to buy a new pair of jeans. The first 2 min was the most unerving it sounded likethe heels hitting the pavement were loud but I walked as if nothing was wrong and no one noticed and if they did o well. I then I went to lowes to get some material for the worksite. I then went to the bank to get a loan for a suv again nothing. So then with the way the day was going y next trip was to visit my realatior. Then on the way out of town a trip to the gas station and all went with out a problem. So armed with my new found confindance I stopped at the 5 plex that I own and checked on some lighting issues and visited with a new tenat. What a day for some one that would not get out of the house with heels last week Amazing! Great job, I'm envious of your great accomplishments...Hope we can see pictures soon...don Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jerbare Posted January 6, 2012 Share Posted January 6, 2012 went 3 days in a row never out side before did a sales call this afternoon bought a new pair of boots going for 4 days and maybe church on sunday Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loquito Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 well i guess it just take time to get use to going out in heels, for me the best solution was to buy some wedge booties from kohls, they are only 3 inch heel, and make no sound, i am finding that hard to let it go"love the sound", but in the meantime is a good option, i am looking for some wedge booties with a higher heel like a 4 inch i found some at target, and i try them on, bad thing was that there was only one shoe could not find the other, i sit there took my booties of and a girl just pass by look very quickly at what i was doing and kept going,i did not freak out at least. jajajajaja. i definitely think and agree wth other members that unfornately the sound of the shoes makes people look to find out where the noise comes from and obviusl everyone knows what it is, they just dont associate it if they see you i guess because they are not expecting to see a man in heels, i am not at the point yet where i dont care completely but i guess with time i will get there hopefully. cheers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seotkrad Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 The big problem that I had the first time in public was running into someone that I knew and comments at work would be forthcoming. Never happened and each time is easier. I have experienced that women seem to accept this better than men do. I think they feel it does something to their sexuality. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loquito Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 well due to my profession, that is definitely a problem for me. probably i would say that is what scares me the most, that would not be good at all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tacchi Alti Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Just to pass on something I heard at the weekend, not in the context of high heels but regarding having the courage to set up in self-employment when a lot of your friends in dead-end jobs ridicule your daring to step outside their comfort zone: On average, only ten people will cry at your funeral. Why should you bother what people think who don't care enough about you to cry? Also, if it's raining, a lot fewer will go to the burial (obviously doesn't apply to cremation!) because they don't want to get wet. Sound familiar? It's not only heelers who have hang-ups about what other people think! 'Come, and trip it as ye go On the light fantastic toe.' John Milton Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rick24 Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 I could never wear heels outside my on city town. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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