Is Society Being More Tolerant?

[The Immortal]

I think it depends on where you are, some places are more tolerant than others. And how your SO feels about it. My wife doesn't approve, but as long as I do it at home & nobody else knows, it's ok. I also live in a very conservative part of the country, which doesn't help either

I can relate sort of CPB. My GF (soon to be fiancee ) and my two closet female friends are ok with me wearing heels and actually encourage letting me be myself.

I'm at the point of not caring what everyone here thinks of what I wear and do, as long as my GF and close friends respect me. I couldn't give a $%&*! lol

[CPB]

The Immortal - all the best with the engagement & wedding!

If my wife & 2 sons - still a bit young to understand - didn't have any problems with me wearing heels I couldn't be bothered with anybody elses opinion. As I told my wife's uncle, there are only 3 people in the world that have to like me & not be embarassed by my actions - my wife & 2 sons. If other people like me that's awesome; if they don't, their loss.

[thighhighguy]

The Immortal - all the best with the engagement & wedding!

If my wife & 2 sons - still a bit young to understand - didn't have any problems with me wearing heels I couldn't be bothered with anybody elses opinion. As I told my wife's uncle, there are only 3 people in the world that have to like me & not be embarassed by my actions - my wife & 2 sons. If other people like me that's awesome; if they don't, their loss.

Well said

That is a great attitude to take, life is far too short

[joeshoething]

I voted yes, because I hope so. I don't see too many guys in heels on the northeast coast of the US, but I can hope!!

[skirtsnhose]

I think that all of us who wear high heels in public have all gotten "good comments" as you put it. But I would have to say the positive has always outweighed the negative. The more you wear high heels in public, the more you base overall total reactions and comments received.

The positives absolutely outweigh the negatives, but the zeroes outweigh both of them combined. Most people just do not notice, in my experience, which is somewhat surprising to me as I only wear heels with skirts.

[Tech]

The positives absolutely outweigh the negatives, but the zeroes outweigh both of them combined. Most people just do not notice, in my experience, which is somewhat surprising to me as I only wear heels with skirts.

Tell me about it, my boots are seriously loud, yet I walk down Bromely high street yesturday and I might as well not have been there. Felt like I was invisible.

Then I go to the model shop, 3 guys in there, none of them so much as even glances or bats an eyelid, so I sat on the stoll they have on my side of the counter, kicked back 1 foot onto the footrest bar, entire boot showing, nothing...

I'm not really bothered or surprised by this though, I'm just pointing out to some of you lesser confident or lesser experienced guys that if you were a fly on the wall, you really would see, the world doesnt give a crap what you put on your feet, but dress like a clown, and be laughed at!!!

[JeffB]

The positives absolutely outweigh the negatives, but the zeroes outweigh both of them combined. Most people just do not notice, in my experience, which is somewhat surprising to me as I only wear heels with skirts.

I beg to differ, my friend. People DO notice, they simply choose not to acknowledge you, at least directly to your face. In my own outings in skirts and heels, I've gotten more than my fair share of odd stares, long glances and double takes from just outside my peripheral vision. I've heard the occasional giggle, the whispered "Omigod!" and a rare glare of disgust. I've also been complimented here and there as well, so it's not all bad. It's quite refreshing when I encounter someone openminded enough to appreciate a man will to experiment with fashion other than what society demands we wear.

[Thighbootguy]

In “Meet The Press” this morning (3-Mar-2010) historian Doris Kerns Goodwin commented that compared to the 1960s we are living in a more tolerant society. I have commented before that I think society has changed it attitudes towards the gay community, and I know the high heel community is not the same as the gay community, but I think, in the general publics view, there is a linkage in the general attitude or acceptance of people exhibiting a look that is different from the “norm”. I started wearing boots and gloves starting back in the 60s and I would never have done what I am currently doing. Part of my willingness to freestyle comes from my changing attitude (mid-life attitude change, some guys buy sports cars, I bought heels) but I believe that my attitude change was enabled by my discovering that society would tolerate a guy wearing thigh boots and a skirt. This is a chicken or egg question and I’m not sure which came first, society being more accepting of freestyling or freestyling pushing society to change their opinions. I think the real answer is that the demography of society changed and the new members (younger generations) are more accepting of freestyling than the members that are dieing off.

[kneehighs]

Here's a pertinent article from a November 18, 2009 article in the New York Times discussing how "urban Americans, mostly in their 20s — are revising standard notions of gender-appropriate dressing, tweaking codes, upending conventions and making hash of ancient norms." Very interesting reading.

[Maximilian]

I fine article kneehighs. More and more of these types of articles are being written. I can only wish that this trend will catch on and become more than just a seasonal one.

[NH Heels]

Definately a cool article, thanks for sharing it.

[Dawn HH]

Kneehighs:-) I agree that more of this type of article is needed more and more these days. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[Vanheels]

Here's hoping we can get North America as tolerant as Europe!!

[JeffB]

Great article, kneehighs! It certainly made for darn good reading!

[5inchforme]

I would have to say yes after wearing heels for the better part of 10 years and not really having to deal with anyone saying much about my choice of footware. My wife and I are always out in heels and I can only think of one ba reaction. That surprisingly came from a woman that told me that high heels were for women and that I should take them off immediatly. My wife politely pulled the woman off to the side and informed her that not only did she enjoy me in heels she was proud that her husband could be himself instead of following the status quo. Sometimes men will cast a sideways glance but more often than not no one seems to care and when they do take notice I am usually asked where I got my shoes from. I believe in the not to distant future the choice of clothing will not be defined by gender and we will see more men dressing how they want.

[JeffB]

5inchforme: Bravo for posting the details of that outing and your encounter with that narrowminded woman, plus how your wide stood up for you. By the by, I'm curious, was that woman wearing pants at the time? If she had, you could've countered by saying that only men wear pants and that she should take hers off at once! THAT would've shut her up!

[5inchforme]

JeffB: no she was wearing a long broomstick skirt and crocs. My wife is great she found out that I wear heels the hard way which I have always wished I could go back and change. Since she found out though she has been great about it always encouraging me to wear them as much as i can. She bought me skinny jeans just so she could see them better haha

[bootlover123]

Bravo indeed for your wife. It is important for narrowminded cynical myopic busybodies to realise that their opinion is just that; their opinion and not the "carved in stone" attitude of society in general. I only wish society in Ireland could speed up its acceptance of high heel wearing men; pretty much in the dark ages here (SOB).

[ulyssa]

I don't know if anyone is more tolerant or not but I have noticed that I do get noticed. I went out last week to do some shopping at the local mall and had different experiences in each store, in Target one of the female security guards in the store caught sight of my heels and called over the other guard and before long I had both gawking at me - too funny.... The kid in Best Buy had little patience with me and the Panera went fine. In each place I found both acceptance and a little bit of discomfort but I was always comfortable with myself which I think helped. In a few hours I'm going back out for more of the same, can't wait...

[Dawn HH]

Ulyssa:-) Be sure and let us know just what you get into on your next adventure out in public heeling. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[HappyinHeels]

Ulyssa, Those all sound like very mainstream places so I'm curious how high your heels were and how obvious. Open-toed with your toes polished? The Target security guard thing is interesting. They may have been at the entrance and saw you from the side as you entered the store which makes any heel more detectable. Please note, however, that the Dayton Hudson Corp. which owns Target has a very GLBT-friendly policy so these two guards are treading on thin ice. Keep us up on your adventures! HappyinHeels

[ShockQueen]

Overall, I think society is relaxing more about people blurring the gender lines both ways. It's getting to the point where each side is nicking from the other, and it's just a general free-for-all.........at least that's the way I see it. I haven't had much problem at all in the past few years, and I don't anticipate anything changing soon. It may be just where I'm at though.

[kikepa]

I'd definately have to say yes. In the 80s, the only way I could wear heels without being publically ridiculed was on Halloween or while attending a RHPS (Rocky Horror...). One guy on campus with longer hair wore a hair band, and he was heckled all the time. These days I have longer hair and wear a hair band and no one says a thing. About that or my heels.

[roniheels]

The more I wear high heels in public, the more I would say society is more tolerant. I think today people have more concerns on their minds than reacting to a man wearing high heels.

[Guest]

boy, do I agree with you there roniheels, & for any who do try to "react" as it were, its like WHO CARES!!????

[Thighbootguy]

I posted a relevant note in the Negative Comments thread about societies toleration.

[maninpumps]

I would say yes. Lately when I have been out in heels seems only people that are into footwear notice and the others are just not interested. Frankly the world has a lot more issues to deal with than what type of shoe we are wearing.

[saudade]

Hmm, not sure I would say yes or no. So from my experiences walking out in public I've noticed that not many people seem to pay attention to your shoes. But I wouldn't go so far as to say it's accepted generally for guys to be wearing high heels. In short, I'd say yes in the sense that it's lower on the totem pole of male taboo, no in that it still evokes thoughts of wrongness in most people.

[Guest]

I'd say that as far as "toleration" (or lack thereof) is always a personal thing with each & every individual (hope thats spelled right) that may feel one way or the other about it to themselves, & since we as a people/race of beings are not mind readers as I've said before it really doesnt matter WHO tolerates/approves (or otherwise)-the fact that YOU like the style of footwear in question is ALL that matters!

[JeffB]

The more I wear high heels in public, the more I would say society is more tolerant. I think today people have more concerns on their minds than reacting to a man wearing high heels.

EXACTLY! The majority of people you encounter are too wrapped up in their own lives and affairs to care about a man wearing high heels, despite how unusual such a sight might be to them, and that tiny number of those who do notice often have manners and breeding and wouldn't think of making an issue of it. Is that considered "tolerance"? No, more like borderline apathy to me.