Is Society Being More Tolerant?

[mackman69]

i think its getting a lot more tolerant now days, the girls at the payless where i go are very cool with me trying on heels and even help me pick out what good to wear.

[CassieJ]

Went to lunch and ate at the bar with my wife at Olive Garden. 4" stiletto oxfords very visible sitting on a high bar chair. 4 booths behind us had a great view and not one comment. I didn't even notice anyone else noticing my heels. On the the mall where I shopped at Mac Cosmetics getting makeup for my halloween costume. If anyone noticed, they didn't appear to. One of the sales girls at Mac was looking but didn't say anything. She happened to be the only person working wearing heels. I think it is like anything else, look like everything is normal and people don't even notice or won't say anything if they do. Know your environment...don't go where you know it could be a problem (like a redneck bar) the same as you wouldn't go shopping in the dark in a bad neighborhood. Have fun heeling out there!

[RonC]

Whynotmentoo, as noted, they came from Kohls. I am in the Chicago area, and they have many stores here and throughout the mdiwest, as well as a web site www.kohls.com The shoes are by Croft & Barrow, which is their store brand.

[johnieheel]

Wife had her open house today. Our little shop is in the front part of our house and I didn't have to work today. I slipped on my Collin Stewart 4 1/2" knee highs, went up and helped out a little. Talked to quite a few folks, men and women and not one comment about my boots. When it came time for the 50/50 drawing, I was the chosen one to draw the winning ticket. Joan mixed up the tickets, I lifted up my pant leg and told everyone these were my lucky boots and drew the ticket. Got positive comments about how nice, pretty, cool, etc my boots were. Just as if they were made for a man. They all agreed that they looked a lot better than mens shoes and boots. After closing, wife and I did a little local shopping at Walmart where i ran into a few co workers. Not one single negative remark. Walked all over the store, went out to eat, same thing. Nothing. The feeling I got all day was , I guess you could say a normal feeling and that I truly believe we have made a dent in society about individuality and who cares what you wear as long as you conduct yourself in a good way. No more fear around here.

[Tech]

Wife had her open house today. Our little shop is in the front part of our house and I didn't have to work today. I slipped on my Collin Stewart 4 1/2" knee highs, went up and helped out a little. Talked to quite a few folks, men and women and not one comment about my boots. When it came time for the 50/50 drawing, I was the chosen one to draw the winning ticket. Joan mixed up the tickets, I lifted up my pant leg and told everyone these were my lucky boots and drew the ticket. Got positive comments about how nice, pretty, cool, etc my boots were. Just as if they were made for a man. They all agreed that they looked a lot better than mens shoes and boots. After closing, wife and I did a little local shopping at Walmart where i ran into a few co workers. Not one single negative remark. Walked all over the store, went out to eat, same thing. Nothing. The feeling I got all day was , I guess you could say a normal feeling and that I truly believe we have made a dent in society about individuality and who cares what you wear as long as you conduct yourself in a good way. No more fear around here.

I wonder if you would get the same treatment if you didnt look like "Hulk hogan"?

[ShockQueen]

I think Johnieheel looks rather good in the pics he's posted, and like a segment of us here, some of are rather imposing in our heels (I'm 6'2" myself). Perhaps the admiration we all get is that we know what we like, we wear what we want, and have the confidence and style to pull it off. Bravo!

[Magickman]

I find general toleration for my own public heel wearing. Some are bemused, but no one really objects, and lots of compliments from women. The thing is, though, that here in Minneapolis, Minnesota area, I have NEVER seen another man on the street wearing heels. Even though I keep my eyes open, men in heels are nowhere to be seen in this locality. This makes me feel like the lone, advance scout, for the vast army of men in high heels, who are sure to follow. C'mon guys. This way is safe and secure. Guys, where are you?

[johnieheel]

I wonder if you would get the same treatment if you didnt look like "Hulk hogan"?

Hulk Hogan is a little taller, but I understand what you mean Richie. I think that most the folks in this area are very tollerant and exceptable to change or just be your self. I think we kinda proved that at the NE Ohio heel meet in Oct.

I also believe it has a lot to do with the way I carry my self. I really don't pay attention to what every body else is doing and just focus on my mission for the day as if I am wearing runners or what ever. I stop and talk to people I know or don't know and carry on as is. No body treats me any differently with or with out heels on. (except for one step daughter and her red neck hubby and kid who I do not speak to any more). There loss.

[johnieheel]

Places we went today. Wore same boots. Same boots in my avatar and pants that let the heel and shoe of the boot show. Joanne Fabrics: Seen a fellow worker, his wife and kids. Usual hey whats up etc etc, no reaction at all about my heels from him or anyone else. Not even a snicker. DSW to find wife warmmy flat suede boots for around the house. Totally uneventful. Kohl's. Same thing. Our boots made a lot of noise on the tile floor walking all over the store. Just a couple glances but nothing else. Target. Same as Kohl's. Dinner at one of our favorite Mexican places. A couple glances and back to the soccer game on tv. Walgreens Noisy floor. A couple glances and nothing else. People seem to really not care any more. Probably because they are to busy doing what they do all day and focusing on that. The way they just kinda glance and look away is like they have already seen it a million times and could care less. This is a good thing I think. What do you all think?

[Guest]

oh, I think so johnieheel, I fully agree on that with you.

[mackman69]

i think some people are getting used to men wearing heels , it just depends where you live. i live in Tennessee and i wear my high heeled boots to my church and if anybody has noticed they never said anything to me which i dont care anymore. i enjoy wearing boots a lot

[Shoeboi]

I voted YES cause their is a small yet growing segment of the public and compainies that are catering and becoming more excepting of men wearing heels. It also has a lot to do with where you live.

[JSpikeheels]

...this may sound a little existential but what people see when thy look at you is an aura of how you perceive yourself... ...it has taken me a lifetime to come around to this understanding of human nature and everyone must reach that conclusion on his own set of histories, expectations, desires and beliefs but you will discover that others mirror the perceptions you feel about yourself... ...those of us have reported again and again that "no one seems to notice and even fewer who do notice can be bothered to stop and comment and those who do comment are invariably positive" ...I happen to believe that if a guy is courageous enough to venture out in public in heels then he has begun the process of understanding this concept and where the confidence creates the environment that allows the courage to develop... disagreement is encouraged...(lol) Jim/JSpikeheels

[aussieheels1]

JSpikeheels - i totally agree with whay you are saying and i think it is true.... however, knowing this is the case still doesn't give me enough confidence to go ahead and fully out my heeling to the world..... i think my fears (probably a lot of people here too) is not of reaction from the general public but from those who we have already form a relationship with... yes yes, i know.. those who love me should accept me for what i am and love me no matter what... but i suppose the feeling is mutual that i do not want to do anything which may make their life more difficult (as slight as it may be).... i suppose, if i had no relationship with anyone (in a new country or something), it may be easier for me to live the way i may want it to be....

[kikepa]

The first time I bought a pair of heels in public was in the mid-80s. The salespeople were nice but didn't know what to think. The last time I bought a pair of heels in public it was like I was the fifth man in the store buying heels that day. The first time I wore a pair of heels in public was around 2002, late night, at a restaurant. The hostess spotted my discrete heeled boots, got a funny look on her face, and after seating the folks in front of me, went in the back. A moment later the manager of the restuarant came out and saw me to a table. I asked him point blank, "Is it something I said?" and he said, "No, she just need to use the restroom." Maybe... Maybe not. Don't know. The last time I wore heels at a public restaurant, I received the usual glances and double-takes, but the waitress (different one) noticed but didn't bat an eye and was normaly chatty throughout the evening. The first time I viewed open discussions (fashion sites, not here) about men wearing heels on the Internet, the amount of flak was insane, mostly from the girls, even though guys were a full third of the posters. The last time I viewed open discussions about men wearing heels on the Internet, there was no outrageous flak, and quite a bit of acceptance, even among the guys, a few who admitted they'd considered it themselves. Apparently, via the Internet, the world's gotten out, people's minds/perceptions have changed. That's a good thing.

[Bubba136]

[snip] Apparently, via the Internet, the world's gotten out, people's minds/perceptions have changed.

That's a good thing. [snip]

That might be true, however, the emphasis placed on political correctness by society as a whole, is probably just as much responsible for the change in attitude. Isn't it "improper" these days to criticize anyone for anything, even though you might not agree? As the popular refrain goes, "just who the hell are you to judge me or what I do, anyway?"

Being politically correct doesn't stop anyone from thinking negatively about anything -- just that, now days, everyone has a "right" to do "what ever floats their boat."

[Guest]

oh yeah Bubba136, thats about how I would respond to ANYONE that tried to say somthing to ME about my boots, make no dought about THAT, my friend!

[johnieheel]

Wife and I went all over to day, me in my 4"stacked heel tommyhill knee highs and her in a cute pair of mj's. Menard's (like a home depot) was our first stop. This is a new local dept store and we walked all over with out a single second take, or anything I noticed. Then to Canton at a sporting goods store for ammo. Stood around talking to other guys about different ammo and other stuff. (gotta be nice) I'll just say one word (Obama). Then went and joined back up with my wife as she was looking for different grips for her pistola and some clothing. Got my ammo, went to the check out, talked with other guys some more in line and left. Sooo uneventful. HUH, must have just been another guy in heels.LOL Off to Best Buys to look at Tv's. Talked with sales person for a bit, walked around and out the door. HUH, just another guy in heels I guess. LOL Off to a couple other stores, same thing, and home. It's getting to where a guy in heels just can't get any attention anymore around here. Whats the deal? LOL Never thought it would come to this but I'm lovinnnn it!!! Would really like to see more men out in heels and I'm sure there are a lot of them that would if they seen more men out in them. Makes sense to me. I think there are a lot of guys that are afraid of what there friends or so's might think so they just don't even bother. I refuse to let what other people think control who I am. Have a good day!

[bootedup]

I wear heels every day, even around home and nobody seems to care.

I was surprised that my recent public excursions in my thigh high boots were uneventful. I don't wear them specifically for a reaction from people, I wear them because I find them incredibly sexy, but it was still somewhat disappointing in a way that nobody seemed to care, much the same as you found Johnieheel. Btw love the boots in your avatar.

[johnieheel]

I was surprised that my recent public excursions in my thigh high boots were uneventful. I don't wear them specifically for a reaction from people, I wear them because I find them incredibly sexy, but it was still somewhat disappointing in a way that nobody seemed to care, much the same as you found Johnieheel. Btw love the boots in your avatar.

All my family and friends know and it's no big deal anymore. It's just me. There are 1 or 2 that get a little surprised look on there face every so often but no big deal.

The boots in my avatar were a bd gift from wife and I wear them everywhere. Collin Stuart from Victoria Secrets.

You should check out thighbootguy's thread if you haven't already. A real inspiration!

[JeffB]

Of late, I've arrived at the conclusion that it no longer matters to me as to whether or not society is becoming more tolerant of men who choose to wear women's shoes. In brief, I could care less if they are or aren't. I can't afford to worry about what the rest of world thinks about me when I go out and about, I'm going to wear what I want to wear, not the way society wants. The fact that 99% percent of the people we encounter don't so much as blink when they see us isn't neccesarily a sign of tolerance, it's more like apathy as passersby are too wrapped up in their own lives and affairs to care about us and what we wear on our feet. Bottom line, if we gain that long sought after tolerance, fine, if not, still fine. I'll still go forward, wearing what I want to wear.

[johnieheel]

Of late, I've arrived at the conclusion that it no longer matters to me as to whether or not society is becoming more tolerant of men who choose to wear women's shoes. In brief, I could care less if they are or aren't. I can't afford to worry about what the rest of world thinks about me when I go out and about, I'm going to wear what I want to wear, not the way society wants. The fact that 99% percent of the people we encounter don't so much as blink when they see us isn't neccesarily a sign of tolerance, it's more like apathy as passersby are too wrapped up in their own lives and affairs to care about us and what we wear on our feet. Bottom line, if we gain that long sought after tolerance, fine, if not, still fine. I'll still go forward, wearing what I want to wear.

Thats great you don't care what people think Jeff but thats not why I asked this question.

[Bad_Robot]

Well those of you who are lucky enough to live in a tolerant and enlightened city or large town have much to be grateful for, I don't pretend to speak for everyones experiance in wearing HH's in public but living as I do in a small, rather inward looking town there is just sadly now way I would be able to pull it off without copious stares and reactions.....sad but true so maybe society is only part of the problem?

[vassies]

well i vote yes, having worn boots openly since my early teens it seems that nowadays there is a lot less reaction from people in the street. maybe its people are more tolerant or as has been mentioned maybe they are just too busy with their own lives to notice. or the other possibility is that i have grown used to it or that i am too old to care anymore !!

[Tech]

Some of it is down to attitude and co-ordination too. If your walking down the street, its easy to notice anybody who is nervous, or is just dressed "differently" like multi-colours, bright colours etc... People who generally stand out, as nervous people generally look somewhat "suspicious", hence they are noticed and examined more... Sometimes thought of as "odd" The brightly coloured clothing brigade can sometimes just be thought of as "nuts" or no sense of co-ordination (I mean those who dress brightly, but do it all wrong of course) So, if your comfortable in what your wearing, and co-ordinate yourself, people wont even notice that you exist, let alone notice what your wearing.

[HappyFeat]

Some of it is down to attitude and co-ordination too. If your walking down the street, its easy to notice anybody who is nervous, or is just dressed "differently" like multi-colours, bright colours etc...

People who generally stand out, as nervous people generally look somewhat "suspicious", hence they are noticed and examined more... Sometimes thought of as "odd"

The brightly coloured clothing brigade can sometimes just be thought of as "nuts" or no sense of co-ordination (I mean those who dress brightly, but do it all wrong of course)

So, if your comfortable in what your wearing, and co-ordinate yourself, people wont even notice that you exist, let alone notice what your wearing.

This may be the single best point I have read on HHPlace- right to the point. In all of the discussions that guys post about their outfits, experiences, etc. The one accessory that is vital is nerve - simply being comfortable in what you are wearing and how you pull it off. If it truly matters if society is tolerant, the road to acceptance is just being natural, relaxed and at home in your heels.

It may seem counterintuitive, but I have foud that being nervous and awkward draws the negative attention from others more than wearing heels ever does. Of course, confidence comes from experience, so if you build it, you are also building acceptance.

[raymond.nl]

Of course, confidence comes from experience,

But that leaves us with a chicken-and-egg problem. The shortcut is to simply be confident for whatever reason. Because you are cool; because you dare to be different; because you are you.

Experience without confidence might even result in negative feedback, making this confidence things even harder to obtain.

My 2c.

[JeffB]

It may seem counterintuitive, but I have foud that being nervous and awkward draws the negative attention from others more than wearing heels ever does. Of course, confidence comes from experience, so if you build it, you are also building acceptance.

Quite right! I've probably mentioned this elsewhere, but if you exhibit nervousness while out in public in heels, people around you will almost immediately pick up on that and observe you, wondering what's up with you, earning you more scrutiny than you'd like. As for tolerance by society, I find that to be something not worth worrying about. If the world as a whole ignores you while out and about because they're too wrapped up in their own lives and affairs to care about a man wearing women's shoes, can that truly be called tolerance, or simply apathy? My vote's for the latter.

[Thighbootguy]

HappyFeat noted, “Of course, confidence comes from experience”

Experience is the hardest teacher.

It gives you the test first,

and the lesson afterward.

I disagree with Tech’s comment, “So, if your comfortable in what your wearing, and co-ordinate yourself, people wont even notice that you exist, let alone notice what your wearing.”

If someone is “well dressed”, wearing a well tailored, coordinated outfit, that is appropriate for the venue, people do notice. If they didn’t there wouldn’t be any reason to go to the effort to dress well.

As for a more tolerant society, I’m old enough to have seen social attitudes change (either that, or my caring about social attitudes has changed as I’ve gotten older). Today folks are more willing to let someone be different than the crowd. I don’t know if it is because people are looking outward and seeing the big picture or looking inward and missing the whole thing. Either way, there is less social pressure on folks that don’t fit into the mold than there used to be.

JeffB’s, Raymond.nl’s, and HappyFeat’s comments on confidence are right on the mark. My version is, if your not comfortable with the look you are presenting, don’t go out.

[malinheels]

I voted yes more tolerant not only to heels worn by men but in my case skirts as well i have a couple of skirts which when i wear them i'm sure people don;t realize they are skirts or the fact that i'm wearing high heels is a more over riding fashion statement On a few occasions i've had females say to me your wering high heels but make no mention of the fact i'm wearihg a skirt which in my mind the skirt is a more significant clothing item and as for people in shops usually female i walked into a ladies fashion shop yesterday in my ankle length cord choc brown skirt & 4 inch heel calf high boots &asked the sales girl (in her late 20 s) if they would have anything that would fit me she asker what size i wear I replied size 16 in skirts she then said ther would be a few items but the things shr had were not really the style i was looking for She was extreemly plesant ans suggested i try Katies down a bit further and that she was asize 16 also and bought afew of her clothes there So i went to Katies but they again didn't have what i wanted but while i was on my way out the first sales gtrl saw me and asked ''how did you go'' Isaid ''no luck'' she said'' pop in next time'' now i ask you all if that isn't tolerance to a guy wearing heeled boots & a skirt in shopping mall what is cheers from Melbourne Aust:thumbsup: