Can't We All Just Get Along?

[Pumped]

Locking Jeff's thread has caused quite a stir! I don't understand why some get so bent out of shape about it. Help me to understand! I for one saw Jeff's thread as being "off topic" and understand why it got locked. This is a place to discuss high heels, anything else is off topic, although there is some venturing off allowed as long as we get back to the topic. 

If you want to dress up as a women, there are plenty of sites for that, I belong to a couple. I could post here every week pics of me in high heels and dresses, but I don't.

[Bubba136]

To really understand you have to go way back into the early archives and read JeffB’s first postings.  Some of us here that became acquainted with him and watched his development over the years, understand his enthusiasm about his present position.  Besides, we’ve known him so long and consider him to be a good friend.  Not the same thing with newer members. Besides, I would bet most members here really enjoy reading of his adventures even though they are slightly outside of this site’s posting rules.  But, we are not in charge and have no say about it.

[Tech]

5 hours ago, Bubba136 said:

even though they are slightly outside of this site’s posting rules

Way off-topic is closer to it 🙂

We all consider Jeff a friend, hence his thread is still there, awaiting his reply and the chance to clean it up. Look at his first posts, then compare them to his recent content. The difference is night/day.

Anybody else, that would have been wiped without a second thought. Heck I removed over 200 photos from the galleries recently, without so much as even notifying the gallery owners (No time for sending all those messages)

Other content is fine "In context" but when the other content becomes the only content, then its gone off the rails.

Personally, if somebody wants to throw their toys out of their pram over something so trivial, then we may thrive more without that negative vibe around 🙂

Its a new breed of folks who seem to thrive on getting offended on other peoples behalf, over analysing the crap out of everything and stamping their feet over things nobody else cares about.

"My friend isnt getting his own way, so I'm offended that your not changing your policies to match what they want"...

Life is too short for that nonsense and theres already too much crap going on for that to even be worth thinking about.

If everybody can stay on-topic, then things will be fab.

[Pumped]

On 11/8/2020 at 5:14 PM, Bubba136 said:

Besides, I would bet most members here really enjoy reading of his adventures even though they are slightly outside of this site’s posting rules.  But, we are not in charge and have no say about it.

I haven't been here that long, wow, longer than I thought 2012! Anyway I started out reading Jeff's thread, but tired of it quickly. I am here for the high heels and have zero interest in posts on clothing. I bet I haven't read a bit of Jeff's thread in 3-4 years. I might open it, just to clear it out of my read threads.

Rules are rules, and we need to follow them or the next thing you knw the main topic gets lost talking politics or religion. I belong to another sight that says no politics. The owners of the group let up wander there once in a while, but as soon as the conversation gets a bit heated it goes away, which isn't long!

[Chorlini]

I think the best thing still is to make the For Men and For Women sections invisible to the opposite genders. Men don't get to lurk in the for women sections, and women don't get to lurk and post (I've seen that happen too, and not have those posts removed either) in ours. That way either sex can be themselves in their own subforum and the moderator can focus more on the sections where both sexes do engage each other.

11 hours ago, Pumped said:

I haven't been here that long, wow, longer than I thought 2012! Anyway I started out reading Jeff's thread, but tired of it quickly. I am here for the high heels and have zero interest in posts on clothing. I bet I haven't read a bit of Jeff's thread in 3-4 years. I might open it, just to clear it out of my read threads.

Rules are rules, and we need to follow them or the next thing you knw the main topic gets lost talking politics or religion. I belong to another sight that says no politics. The owners of the group let up wander there once in a while, but as soon as the conversation gets a bit heated it goes away, which isn't long!

To be honest I have little interest myself in reading the heeling or clothing adventures of individual members, or selfie threads as I call them. Great if you like them, or like doing them, more power to ya, but I prefer a more general conversation about heels.

[Cali]

I think the importance of showing images of our members in what they wear in public is important to show the members that only heel at home that you CAN wear your heels in public and the world does not end.  I've gone from hiding my heels with long pants to openly wearing my knee high boots in plain sight.  If you are going to wear heels, do it with pride.

[Pumped]

I like seeing pics too,  as long as they are on topic.

As far as not seeing the other genders section that is probably happening already. The women left and are on a forum elsewhere! Plus, it is probably  difficult to sort the sections by gender, although some sites require a member to ask for access for sections of the forum.

One downside is some of us like reading the women's forum, even though we can't or shouldn't  post there. I have responded to posts on the women's forum by PM'ing a woman there and making sure to let me knew if she has an issue with my PM'ing her and I wouldn't  do it again, and letting her know my opinion on some discussion.  She did post my thoughts on the women's form.

Edited November 10, 2020 by Pumped

[Pierre1961]

I agree with @Cali.Seeing which  shoes members wear outside helps others getting more comfortable going in heels publicly. 

@Pumped  I think we don’t have many women here because wearing high heels isn’t on fashion anymore. The only ones left are more on the fetish side. And probably men pretending to be a female.  .Or it’s just a clothes accessory and no need to post anything.

Fetish people can find specialized sites. HH place isn’t the right place for them. 

Lets keep on doing what we like. The acceptance is slowly growing and heels fashion will come back. It’s a recurrent trend 

[Pumped]

I agree with women not wearing heels as much. 

I walked into DSW  the other day and was shocked to see what they have done. Even my wife was crestfallen. Before they had two or three isles of heels. Now just 1/2 of an isle the rest was replaced with athletic shoes. I immediately dropped the company an e-mail and let them know that we were probably done shopping with them as we loved their selection of heels and can buy trainers anywhere. 

[RonC]

1 hour ago, Pumped said:

I walked into DSW  the other day and was shocked to see what they have done. Even my wife was crestfallen. Before they had two or three isles of heels. Now just 1/2 of an isle the rest was replaced with athletic shoes. I immediately dropped the company an e-mail and let them know that we were probably done shopping with them as we loved their selection of heels and can buy trainers anywhere. 

Yes, it has been extremely disappointing.  However, they are just reflecting what the public wants and what is selling.  I'm sure we've all seen the stats on how sneakers/casual shoes are outselling dress shoes by like 2 to one these days.  I appreciate that you sent them a letter, but it is unlikely to change anything.  Young women drive fashion, and young women today want nothing to do with heels and dress shoes.  It pains me when I see a young woman in a nice dress and she is wearing some form of sneaker.  There is no longer the desire of young women to have that "grown=up look" that wearing heels provided.  I don't see things changing for a while, if ever.  My opinion is that heels are a dying trend.  I suppose at some point there will be a fashion trend back toward a more formal look, but unless business again calls for a certain level of decorum when it come to clothing (for both sexes) I just can't see heels ever having a corner on the market again.  Unless, of course, the men pick up the gauntlet!

[Pumped]

I agree, but still disappointing. I would hope there would be at least one store in our city with a decent selection.

I live in an urban area of around 250,000 people and DSW had the best selection. The next choice is Macys but DSW has a better selection with the reduced inventory. 

[p1ng74]

19 hours ago, RonC said:

There is no longer the desire of young women to have that "grown=up look" that wearing heels provided.  I don't see things changing for a while, if ever.  My opinion is that heels are a dying trend.  I suppose at some point there will be a fashion trend back toward a more formal look, but unless business again calls for a certain level of decorum when it come to clothing (for both sexes) I just can't see heels ever having a corner on the market again.  Unless, of course, the men pick up the gauntlet!

Exactly.  If women keep abandoning heels, maybe that will open room for men to adopt them.  

[Tech]

23 hours ago, Pumped said:

As far as not seeing the other genders section that is probably happening already.

Nope. An administrative nightmare that I definately dont want to contemplate.

[Pierre1961]

 

Exactly.  If women keep abandoning heels, maybe that will open room for men to adopt them.  
perfect! Women will get jealous and go back to heels ! 
🤔

[mlroseplant]

I just wrote a reply in my own thread that got me to thinking about the subject at hand. I used to dress up quite a bit just to run to the grocery store or someplace, because I wanted to create a look where I thought heels would "fit in." So, I wore outfits in order to complement my shoes. Now that I am not nearly so self conscious about my shoes, I feel much less obligated to dress to the nines every time I leave the house.

I think with Jeff, he pretty much did the same thing as me, his interests and focuses changed, only his interest drifted away from the shoes, and began to concentrate on the outfits only. The shoes, while always carefully named in the posts, were an afterthought. Whether this in and of itself is the "way off topic" part, or whether it's more of the desire to keep us out of the You-Know-What dressing sphere, or some combination of both, is still not clear. After all, there is a "General Fashion" section. What if we were to move Jeff's thread into that section? Would there still be a problem?

There are certain things that we pretty much all agree are bright lines, such as wearing fake boobs, makeup which is intended to obscure gender, and quite possibly wigs. But what about all the other stuff? Is the occasional skirt off-limits? Are dangly earrings off limits? Are we strictly a shoe-only site? I'm not trying to cause any problems, I'm just seeking clarity. I do realize, having been through a divorce and a band break-up, that I'm probably not really going to get true clarity. The last sentence was indeed a feeble attempt to make y'all chuckle.

[Cali]

I joined when I found pain relief by wearing 4 inch heels and figured I'm going to wear 4+ inch heels for the rest of my life. Since I plan to wear heels, I might as well enjoy it; Embrace it and have fun with it.  When I tried to hide it with long pants I was sending the wrong message; that I was doing something wrong and needed to hide it. Now that I don't hide it, even flaunt it with knee high boots, I feel much freer

This is not something I do only at home, or in my hotel room, or out on "outings", this is what I wear most of the time. I have no issues going anywhere in my Jessica Simpson knee high stilettos. The photos I post are the looks I go out in public with

But my interest is more than just heels.  I tried several times to do a nail art thread here, but it always got deleted. I moved it to a gallery thread so the general public wouldn't see it, but it too got deleted. So I gave up and found other subtle ways to do it.  If you wear open toe shoes you need to have your toes look "presentable" because they are always on display. Here, toenail art is directly linked to wearing heels and I get pedicures because my hand can't do it (missing/removed bones). I also get manicures because of damaged fingernails, I need acrylic to hold some of them together and getting them color makes them look the same.  No big deal, been doing it for years and I see many more men with colored fingernails now.

I blend my clothes from both sides and in many of my pictures I have mostly women's sold clothes on (clothes do not have gender).  Many times its fit, for example, women's ankle length pants are proportioned to end at the ankle whereas a men's pants with the same inseam is proportion for a much shorter male and doesn't fit right.  But you need the shorter inseam if you want to tuck your pant legs into your boots. 

 

And if you haven't seen or know about it, there are words that will get your post flagged and placed in a "unpublished quagmire."

[RonC]

5 hours ago, mlroseplant said:

After all, there is a "General Fashion" section. What if we were to move Jeff's thread into that section? Would there still be a problem?

That actually sounds like a good idea to me.  There is talk of things like purses and legwear there.  I think his posts would fit quite well there.

[Mr. X]

On 11/14/2020 at 1:25 PM, RonC said:

That actually sounds like a good idea to me.  There is talk of things like purses and legwear there.  I think his posts would fit quite well there.

I had the same thought too

[HappyinHeels]

I believe a big influencer on casualness in the workplace has been tech execs seen wearing sneakers and not wearing suits. They have ruined business dress the same way they ruined the Bay Area by invading the area with greedy and obscenely paid employees who priced out many existing Bay Area residents. The area didn’t get to better than 48000 forced evictions because it was becoming a BETTER place to live. So thank big tech for helping to squash office dress codes, displacing thousands of people and censoring speech of those they disagree with. That’s my 2 cents. HinH 

[RonC]

I have to agree with you on that one.

[mlroseplant]

I don't know that you can blame such a small slice of people on the way things have turned out, casual fashion-wise. It used to be that wearing tennis shoes with a suit was some sort of a statement. Now, it's like nothing. Maybe it IS our time. What we are doing, what we do every day is ordinary, yet revolutionary.

[p1ng74]

1 hour ago, mlroseplant said:

I don't know that you can blame such a small slice of people on the way things have turned out, casual fashion-wise. It used to be that wearing tennis shoes with a suit was some sort of a statement. Now, it's like nothing. Maybe it IS our time. What we are doing, what we do every day is ordinary, yet revolutionary.

Yes!  I remember the day I decided to start wearing heels into the office.  We had recently acquired a startup company, and we brought the former owner of the company onto the stage of a big customer event for an interview.  Amongst all the men in suits and women in heels, he strolled up in skinny jeans and tennis shoes.  At that moment, I decided that if a top executive at our company can wear tennis shoes on stage, I’m certainly allowed to wear heels into the office!