Unhiding my heels

[mlroseplant]

19 hours ago, Shyheels said:

The first time I tried on a pair of 5" stilettos I immediately felt it, powerfully, in my calves. I am a guy who cycles a lot and an hour in 5" stilettos was easily the best calf muscle workout I've ever had.

It's always interesting to hear about different people's experiences and perceptions of those experiences. My first impression of 5" heels was not that they bother my calves so much, but rather that I don't have the ankle flexibility to work them properly, and that my ankles become exhausted fairly rapidly.

[SirLaffalot]

On 10/2/2019 at 6:32 AM, maninboots said:

Well done mate, if in doubt you can always rely on a good coffee shop, great progress though, you’ll soon be wearing your boots over your jeans before long, keep it up mate 

I've read many very similar stories about the problems of self-consciousness in wearing heels. Exactly the same fears are held by men who like to wear nail polish on their fingers or toes, (or both). When you do pluck up the courage to go out wearing colour on your nails or toes, your self-consciousness will wear off surprisingly quickly! Probably the greatest fear is that someone will make a negative, or derogatory comment. I have never heard a negative remark from anyone, but I have had quite a few complimentary comments - I think almost entirely from women. What a fantastic confidence boost that gives! Far from worrying that someone might see me, it very soon becomes disappointing when no-one notices!  In suitable weather I like to go out wearing sandals, with my coloured toenails in full view. Most people don't even seem to notice!  I'm sure a lot of people do notice, but are probably too shy to pass any comment at all. 

I pierced my ears 40 or more years ago. At that time, men with pierced ears were relatively unusual, and I worked in a sales environment where wearing earrings may not have been considered very appropriate, so I only wore them for a short time at home. With lack of use, the the holes healed up. Attitudes have changed considerably over the years, however, and men wearing earrings is now quite common. I had my ears re-pierced a couple of years ago, and now wear either studs or small hoop earrings 24/7. I felt very self-conscious when I first went out wearing them openly, but that feeling went away extremely quickly.  My self-consciousness did return when I experimented with wearing dangle earrings for a week. I felt they were very noticeable, and payed particular attention to see if anyone noticed. I even went shopping in a supermarket, and for a coffee in a cafe, but no-one batted an eyelid! No-one seemed to notice, or if they did, they didn't care - so why should I?

I go out, openly wearing women's high heeled boots, and have had nothing but compliments. I'm now looking for stiletto pumps, with and without platforms. I'd love to be able to go out wearing them! 

 

[SF]

Sir Laffalot (love that name)....   Do it, you won't regret it one minute.....    have fun...   sf

[Shyheels]

2 hours ago, mlroseplant said:

It's always interesting to hear about different people's experiences and perceptions of those experiences. My first impression of 5" heels was not that they bother my calves so much, but rather that I don't have the ankle flexibility to work them properly, and that my ankles become exhausted fairly rapidly.

I used to do a lot of sabre fencing in my youth and cycle thousands of miles every year - my ankles are very strong and flexible. That was the least of my worries in trying on stilettos for the first time. Ditto balance  -  no problem. Calf muscles on the other hand, were screaming 

[Cali]

1 hour ago, SirLaffalot said:

I've read many very similar stories about the problems of self-consciousness in wearing heels. Exactly the same fears are held by men who like to wear nail polish on their fingers or toes, (or both). When you do pluck up the courage to go out wearing colour on your nails or toes, your self-consciousness will wear off surprisingly quickly!

Welcome to the forum @SirLaffalot.

I am a man that wears color on both my fingernails and toenails, high heels with short shorts, and I don't stop there.  Women's skinny jeans are still better than the men's version, and wearing your boots on the outside with your skinny pants is great . You got to display complete confidence in yourself. I don't even think about it very often.  There are still some places and new situations that give me butterflies, but you get over them quickly.

[hiddenheels]

Since the lockdown, I've been unable to wear heels, family is at home 24x7. This sucks, and the anxiety has kicked in a few times. My wife can read my moods and asks when I'm down, why I'm down. Based on our past interactions I've started telling her about how I would like to wear them a bit more and I'm not able to thus am a bit upset. In the last little bit this has led to some more discussion between her and I, and it's clear that she's not supportive of me wearing them in front of her or outside. Although she says she doesn't care if I wear it into a store, the attitude of how she says it clearly indicates that that's not the case. So it's been tough, and not only have I not been able to express myself for the past 8 weeks, I've also made backwards progress with my wife. This topic will never be resolved between her and I.

As a side-note, she knows I love it when she herself wears heels to go shopping or something, that has not happened in a very long time. I've given up caring what she wears.

While I understand her points on how this should not be a ruling factor in my life, or our lives, the inability to express myself as I wish it to be is difficult. She's also said that a relationship is compromise, and she also makes compromises. I agree with her on this. So, I'm going to have to settle into not doing anything until this thing is over, and I can get back to work. Once some semblance of normal returns, I am hoping to have some time to be able to do this on my own, even if it's stopping by some coffee shop or store periodically.

Disappointing, but do not see much of a choice but to go at it alone. In the meantime I'll try to deal with my anger on this.

[pebblesf]

3 hours ago, hiddenheels said:

Since the lockdown, I've been unable to wear heels, family is at home 24x7. This sucks, and the anxiety has kicked in a few times. My wife can read my moods and asks when I'm down, why I'm down. Based on our past interactions I've started telling her about how I would like to wear them a bit more and I'm not able to thus am a bit upset. In the last little bit this has led to some more discussion between her and I, and it's clear that she's not supportive of me wearing them in front of her or outside. Although she says she doesn't care if I wear it into a store, the attitude of how she says it clearly indicates that that's not the case. So it's been tough, and not only have I not been able to express myself for the past 8 weeks, I've also made backwards progress with my wife. This topic will never be resolved between her and I.

As a side-note, she knows I love it when she herself wears heels to go shopping or something, that has not happened in a very long time. I've given up caring what she wears.

While I understand her points on how this should not be a ruling factor in my life, or our lives, the inability to express myself as I wish it to be is difficult. She's also said that a relationship is compromise, and she also makes compromises. I agree with her on this. So, I'm going to have to settle into not doing anything until this thing is over, and I can get back to work. Once some semblance of normal returns, I am hoping to have some time to be able to do this on my own, even if it's stopping by some coffee shop or store periodically.

Disappointing, but do not see much of a choice but to go at it alone. In the meantime I'll try to deal with my anger on this.

I hear ya buddy....Same situation here except the better half has much less tolerance than your wife.  The subject just isn't discussed...  I am now on three month leave from flying, so the frustration is increasing....  Take care...D

[hiddenheels]

Oh wow... 6 months flew by? Things have been busy! I haven't been here a lot, but a lot has changed. Back in March, before this virus, I had a lot more time available to myself. Let me clarify, I *had* time available to myself in private, whereas now it's a rarity. So a lot less opportunities at home, and a lot less time to ruminate about wearing heels. As such, I adapted and was forced to make opportunities. Before March I went to a coffee shop once every few weeks, and did a few stints like go downtown for a few hours in heels. I was on my way to being comfortable in heels, but the changes due to the virus have amplified things. The face-mask helps a lot, as it's harder to tell who I am and thus I feel comfortable not being recognized closer to home.

Over the last few months I've worn my heels, usually 4" chunky heels, sort of like a combat boot, under jeans, countless times to all sorts of stores. Even bought some heels while wearing heels. A few times, coming home from work, in dress-pants, I didn't feel like changing into jeans, so wore my 5" stiletto boots underneath. The length of the pants was perfect, the styles matched perfectly. OK, I was a bit nervous about this. One day I stood in the parking lot, and didn't end up going in to the mall (wasted too much time standing around). Second day, I went into the mall closest to the store I wanted to visit, this time I went in to the store, walked around, and went home. Third day, I went to the same mall, same cloths, went in, walked to the other side of the mall, checked some stores, and walked back to the car. About an hour long visit, it was early evening, lots of people. I felt very comfortable in my cloths and skin.

Another day I went to a coffee shop in white jeans, dark red shirt, black jacket, and black 5" not-so-thin heeled boots. Think it looked awesome and professional. Sat around for a few hours, ate lunch, and worked.

I'm now finding opportunities to stop by stores on the way home, about two three times a week at least I get a chance to do some public heeling. Christmas is coming up, so it's a good opportunity. :)

So far 0 comments. I noticed some people looking, but again, if I saw a guy (or even a woman) in heels, I would also look more closely, so I didn't take it personally.

Have also worn mini-skirts a few times to a few malls, that was also fun. But I didn't get to mixing skirts with heels yet...

I'm liking where things are going.

[RonC]

You've made big strides in a short period of time.  Keep it up!

[Cali]

Was that your first time buying heels while in heels?  It's so much fun and you get better service since they know you really like heels. I've gotten "bolder" too since I got skinny pants and tuck them inside my knee high boots.  Had a guy at the farmer's market tell me liked my heels this morning....my errant mules.

[pebblesf]

Amazing progress, and you are having fun!  

A positive reaction from a guy is the ultimate compliment Cali!

[Puffer]

I can identify with your activities, hh.   I recently bought a pair of 'Recite' ankle boots from ASOS in size UK13 (see below), which are a generous fit for me and comfortable.   They have a chunky heel of 3.9" and are sturdy and easy to wear with discretion under bootcut jeans.   I have worn them locally to walk into the town for shopping etc without incident - although I probably have been spotted as the heels are more visible when walking briskly or if it is necessary to sit or bend down.   And wearing a face mask is certainly a useful means of limiting recognition!

I have yet to go out in stilettos, however, and I don't own any skirts!

[at9]

@Pufferwhen we met some years ago I thought you said you were size UK11. But you've bought UK13 in these ankle boots. Is my memory wrong or do they run small?

[pebblesf]

5 hours ago, Puffer said:

I can identify with your activities, hh.   I recently bought a pair of 'Recite' ankle boots from ASOS in size UK13 (see below), which are a generous fit for me and comfortable.   They have a chunky heel of 3.9" and are sturdy and easy to wear with discretion under bootcut jeans.   I have worn them locally to walk into the town for shopping etc without incident - although I probably have been spotted as the heels are more visible when walking briskly or if it is necessary to sit or bend down.   And wearing a face mask is certainly a useful means of limiting recognition!

I have yet to go out in stilettos, however, and I don't own any skirts!

Great looking booties, nice rugged heels, must look great with jeans...

[Puffer]

11 hours ago, at9 said:

@Pufferwhen we met some years ago I thought you said you were size UK11. But you've bought UK13 in these ankle boots. Is my memory wrong or do they run small?

I am normally a UK11, sometimes a UK12.   I intentionally bought the ASOS boots in a 13 to ensure adequate room, given that they are not a wide fitting and might prove a little 'snug'.   They are fine for both length and width; the 12s would probably fit me well enough too.   I did initially experience a little discomfort to the ends of my big toes as the faux suede uppers are somewhat stiff.   But some latex 'toe caps' (from Amazon) worn on my big toes (under socks) cured that, and the extra length in the boots ensured that these were accommodated.   I have recently ventured out without these caps and without noticeable discomfort during a shortish perambulation.   ASOS also has a knee-length 'Cuba' version of the same boot, again up to UK13.

My impression is that these (and other plus-size ASOS footwear) runs pretty well true to size, but (as usual) if one has a wider foot (as most men do, compared with women), going up a size is sensible.   (ASOS does make the same boots in a wide fitting but does not (yet) offer them in sizes 11 - 13.)

Below left is another ASOS women's 'Enhance' boot, which I tried in UK13 standard width (no wide available)  - see pic in jeans - but didn't keep as I felt them not discreet enough.  It has a 4.5" heel and is in soft fabric - very comfortable and wearable.  On the left is an ASOS man's leather boot with a 3" heel; I tried them in UK12 wide and found them rather too big - again not kept, but because they were too similar to my other men's boots. 

     

ASOS also has a faux suede 'Kendra' OTK boot with a 4.75" stiletto heel in sizes up to UK13.   I haven't tried them but I understand that they are easily wearable.   ASOS is certainly making an effort to satisfy those who like something a little different and more exciting!

 

 

Edited November 16, 2020 by Puffer

[pebblesf]

Those Asos boots look so fine with the nice jeans, love the heels and pointed toes....Sturdy heels that look easy to walk in....

[Kasiioro]

15.11.2020 o godzinie 20:48 hiddenheels powiedział:

Kilka razy założyłem też mini-spódniczki w kilku centrach handlowych, to też było fajne. Ale nie udało mi się jeszcze mieszać spódniczek z obcasami ...

Do you had some pantyhose?

[Puffer]

10 hours ago, mlroseplant said:

I don't mean to step on somebody else's thread, but are you all right? You're talking about shoes. We don't actually talk about shoes on this forum.

If you mean that I am in the wrong topic (not forum) to be discussing specific footwear acquisitions or products, then I apologise for going off at a tangent.   It should really be in the 'new boots' department.   I will slink away - if 4" heels allow slinking.  😖

8 hours ago, pebblesf said:

Those Asos boots look so fine with the nice jeans, love the heels and pointed toes....Sturdy heels that look easy to walk in....

Yes, I liked the look and they felt good to walk in.   But I lacked the courage to keep them as I don't really want footwear that I cannot 'go public' in comfortably.   The fabric uppers are not ideal for outdoor wear either, especially in anything but dry weather.

[mlroseplant]

13 hours ago, Puffer said:

If you mean that I am in the wrong topic (not forum) to be discussing specific footwear acquisitions or products, then I apologise for going off at a tangent.   It should really be in the 'new boots' department.   I will slink away - if 4" heels allow slinking.  😖

Haha, you know better than that, I'm not worried one little bit about going off topic. My point was, you personally were talking about shoes that you own and wear. You rarely do that. That's why I was wondering if everything was all right. 😆

[Puffer]

11 hours ago, mlroseplant said:

Haha, you know better than that, I'm not worried one little bit about going off topic. My point was, you personally were talking about shoes that you own and wear. You rarely do that. That's why I was wondering if everything was all right. 😆

I don't have much of an 'exciting' footwear collection, so there haven't been that many experiences or outings worth mentioning over the years.   The two main reasons for my limited activity (in that respect) are (i) my wife's complete lack of understanding or acceptance - she knows only a little of my 'interest' (which she regards as a perversion) and I must keep it that way; (ii) the limited availability of (affordable) footwear in my size that I can and would wear comfortably and confidently in public.   So, when the ASOS offerings came along, I had something not only to enjoy but to talk about.   I am very happy with the 'Recite' boots and they have filled a void that I thought would remain empty.

[mlroseplant]

12 hours ago, Puffer said:

I don't have much of an 'exciting' footwear collection, so there haven't been that many experiences or outings worth mentioning over the years.   The two main reasons for my limited activity (in that respect) are (i) my wife's complete lack of understanding or acceptance - she knows only a little of my 'interest' (which she regards as a perversion) and I must keep it that way; (ii) the limited availability of (affordable) footwear in my size that I can and would wear comfortably and confidently in public.   So, when the ASOS offerings came along, I had something not only to enjoy but to talk about.   I am very happy with the 'Recite' boots and they have filled a void that I thought would remain empty.

I am not making light of your situation, while at the same time, attempting to make light of your situation, if that makes any sense. I sometimes wonder what would have become of me if I had managed to stay married to me ex-wife. My ex-wife, though supposedly liberal in policy and thought, does not really accept me in heels, and criticized me strongly for making our son's high school life harder than it needed to be. Now that our son is 21, it has come to light that his group of friends never cared about my footwear, and if anything, applauded me for it. Glad you got your boots!

[jeremy1986]

On 11/17/2020 at 12:55 AM, Puffer said:

I am normally a UK11, sometimes a UK12.   I intentionally bought the ASOS boots in a 13 to ensure adequate room, given that they are not a wide fitting and might prove a little 'snug'.   They are fine for both length and width; the 12s would probably fit me well enough too.   I did initially experience a little discomfort to the ends of my big toes as the faux suede uppers are somewhat stiff.   But some latex 'toe caps' (from Amazon) worn on my big toes (under socks) cured that, and the extra length in the boots ensured that these were accommodated.   I have recently ventured out without these caps and without noticeable discomfort during a shortish perambulation.   ASOS also has a knee-length 'Cuba' version of the same boot, again up to UK13.

My impression is that these (and other plus-size ASOS footwear) runs pretty well true to size, but (as usual) if one has a wider foot (as most men do, compared with women), going up a size is sensible.   (ASOS does make the same boots in a wide fitting but does not (yet) offer them in sizes 11 - 13.)

Below left is another ASOS women's 'Enhance' boot, which I tried in UK13 standard width (no wide available)  - see pic in jeans - but didn't keep as I felt them not discreet enough.  It has a 4.5" heel and is in soft fabric - very comfortable and wearable.  On the left is an ASOS man's leather boot with a 3" heel; I tried them in UK12 wide and found them rather too big - again not kept, but because they were too similar to my other men's boots. 

     

ASOS also has a faux suede 'Kendra' OTK boot with a 4.75" stiletto heel in sizes up to UK13.   I haven't tried them but I understand that they are easily wearable.   ASOS is certainly making an effort to satisfy those who like something a little different and more exciting!

 

 

That pair of Enhance looks great. 

I have a pair of the Kendra OTK in UK9 if I recall.  Love them, but I don't wear them often enough, similar setup as you, at home.. 

[hiddenheels]

I bought some mini-skirts recently, and there was one that I was really itching to try out. Spent a few hours, over a few days, putting together some outfits that I thought worked well. Essentially dark, barely-see-through, pantyhose? Leggings? I don't know... Anyway, black mini-skirt, black leggings, red shirt and black jacket. I was debating the shoes. I recently bought a 4"-heeled combat shoe which I love, it's awesome. That's what I wanted to wear. The style was perfect, and I wish my wife would dress like that. However, I have never gone outside with heels in obvious display. Yes, wear heels under boot-cut jeans covering the heels. Yes, gone to coffee stores, sat around, where the heels were visible as I was sitting. But not to stores, or anything really public.

Some days ago, I wanted to go do some Christmas shopping, and it was an opportune time do some heeling. Put on my outfit, and drive to the mall. Last minute, in the car, sort-of chickened out, and put on my ~2"-heeled running shoes (they look like running shoes but have a bit of a heel to them). Went into the stores, walked around, and was hugely self-conscious. Not because of the skirt, but because of the shoes. I think they matched fine, but I really REALLY wanted to be wearing some proper heels. It was fun nonetheless.

I've been stuck on this, mentally... So, a few days ago, decided to try again, similar outfit, but with my combat boots. This time I again sat around in the car for a bit, not sure why. Eventually got up the courage and got out of the car. Once on the move, I'm fine. Went into the stores, shopped around some. 4" heels easily on display.

 

I'm sure some people stared or couldn't process, but whatever. No one said anything. I'm still flying high on the experience. This was awesome!

[pebblesf]

Great job buddy, so glad you had a good time...

[jeremy1986]

7 hours ago, hiddenheels said:

I bought some mini-skirts recently, and there was one that I was really itching to try out. Spent a few hours, over a few days, putting together some outfits that I thought worked well. Essentially dark, barely-see-through, pantyhose? Leggings? I don't know... Anyway, black mini-skirt, black leggings, red shirt and black jacket. I was debating the shoes. I recently bought a 4"-heeled combat shoe which I love, it's awesome. That's what I wanted to wear. The style was perfect, and I wish my wife would dress like that. However, I have never gone outside with heels in obvious display. Yes, wear heels under boot-cut jeans covering the heels. Yes, gone to coffee stores, sat around, where the heels were visible as I was sitting. But not to stores, or anything really public.

Some days ago, I wanted to go do some Christmas shopping, and it was an opportune time do some heeling. Put on my outfit, and drive to the mall. Last minute, in the car, sort-of chickened out, and put on my ~2"-heeled running shoes (they look like running shoes but have a bit of a heel to them). Went into the stores, walked around, and was hugely self-conscious. Not because of the skirt, but because of the shoes. I think they matched fine, but I really REALLY wanted to be wearing some proper heels. It was fun nonetheless.

I've been stuck on this, mentally... So, a few days ago, decided to try again, similar outfit, but with my combat boots. This time I again sat around in the car for a bit, not sure why. Eventually got up the courage and got out of the car. Once on the move, I'm fine. Went into the stores, shopped around some. 4" heels easily on display.

 

I'm sure some people stared or couldn't process, but whatever. No one said anything. I'm still flying high on the experience. This was awesome!

Well done!!!

[mlroseplant]

11 hours ago, hiddenheels said:

 That's what I wanted to wear. The style was perfect, and I wish my wife would dress like that.

I spent most of my life thinking that. Finally, I came to the conclusion that if I don't wear the stuff myself, it ain't gonna get worn.

That was a pithy statement, and probably would have been most effective if I had hit "Submit Reply" and been done with it. But I didn't instead. You see, there's more to it than Who Wears The Pants In The Family. Let's dissect this for a second. "I wish my wife would dress like that." Without going into great detail, I was once married to a woman who did dress "like that." In the end, it's impossible to live vicariously through someone else. Which brings me to the first part of your statement, which is, "That's what I wanted to wear." [emphasis mine] And that's where you finally end up. Good luck to you.

[jeremy1986]

1 hour ago, mlroseplant said:

I spent most of my life thinking that. Finally, I came to the conclusion that if I don't wear the stuff myself, it ain't gonna get worn.

That was a pithy statement, and probably would have been most effective if I had hit "Submit Reply" and been done with it. But I didn't instead. You see, there's more to it than Who Wears The Pants In The Family. Let's dissect this for a second. "I wish my wife would dress like that." Without going into great detail, I was once married to a woman who did dress "like that." In the end, it's impossible to live vicariously through someone else. Which brings me to the first part of your statement, which is, "That's what I wanted to wear." [emphasis mine] And that's where you finally end up. Good luck to you.

Thats a good point, and something i wonder about myself. If my wife was (still) into heels - i wonder if that would have been enough for me, and if i would have gone down the road of buying my own. I think not, but maybe that's because she would have had hers, which would fit me  

[Pierre1961]

It’s quite clear that as straight guys we wish both.A wife or gf wearing high heels and wear heels ourselves as well .

Shall I imagine it is the same for our fond of heels gay friends. Both of them in heels?

[pebblesf]

8 hours ago, Pierre1961 said:

It’s quite clear that as straight guys we wish both.A wife or gf wearing high heels and wear heels ourselves as well .

Shall I imagine it is the same for our fond of heels gay friends. Both of them in heels?

Yep, definitely want my partner to enjoy wearing boots the way I do....

[Puffer]

9 hours ago, Pierre1961 said:

It’s quite clear that as straight guys we wish both.A wife or gf wearing high heels and wear heels ourselves as well .

...

I agree.   I've always had an 'interest' in heels - initially as an observer and admirer of the women who wore them but with a growing desire to 'try' them for myself, which was not realised for many years and is still largely unfulfilled.    Meanwhile, most of the women I have had a relationship with have worn heels to some extent, although - and this will hardly surprise you, dear reader - never to the degree or with the enthusiasm that I would wish.   And, in the case of my first wife and my present wife, with growing reluctance coupled with the firmly-expressed view that my 'interest' (even just as an admirer) amounts to a perversion.   The question remains as to whether I would be satisfied if my wife and other women in my circle were active heel-wearers?   My honest answer is 'not entirely' - the desire to wear heels myself will not be eliminated although I think it would be less marked.   After all, as Confucious may have said (but probably didn't): 'The poor man is unlikely to be satisfied because he sees others with wealth around him!'