Heels at work? Maybe not so good idea

[blueparrot]

I had a pretty understanding boss who thought my boots were "cool".  A few months ago the owner of the company hired an HR lady.  Before the book keeper did the duty.  This new lady is a heel queen with 5 to 6 inch stilettos she wears almost every day.  When the real hot weather subsided I started wearing my knee and over the knee block heel boots.  I wore them last season with no issue brought up.  One day I wore in my new (off ebay) Sam Edelman Rylan OTK boots in deep red.  These have a nice 4" heel and look quite stylish with black skinny pants tucked in.  The HR lady made a big deal about them, even threatening to pull them off me and put them on.  She started making a big deal over my boots for weeks.  When I tried to ignore here she got mad and I started getting called in to the boss over things I supposedly said to coworkers.  I know she was the source of this.  Last Friday I got called in to a meeting with my boss and her.  They told me I was being fired for my conduct, something I can't understand as I have not had any issues and have been getting positive feedback on my work.  She started yelling at me when I tried to leave.  I told them to send my check and she flipped out.  She accused me of poor attendance which is a total lie.  Some how she got it in for me and I can only suspect it was jealously over my boots. 

I am actually glad to get out of there as there are many job openings in the Dallas area right now.  I think the next one I will only wear ankle boots under pants and not chance such a reaction again. 

 

[Jkrenzer]

shame nobody over heard her initial reactions to your boots, maybe you'd have a case. Don't know about Texas, but here in NC it's a "Right to Work" state which for our non-American friends really means you can be released for no official reason. So in NC they could just release you without saying anything and you'd have no recourse. Often they make something up, which can get them in trouble.

Let us know if they fight you for unemployment insurance as well, this happened to my wife years ago.

[p1ng74]

Wow, these kind of things shouldn’t be happening with all the attention that workplace diversity has been getting lately.  You would think the same kind of fairness that is supposed to protect from harassment due to gender and orientation would allow you to wear boots.  Unfortunately small companies tend to find themselves exempt many things.  If this lady was willing to spend the lies and energy to take you down over a pair of boots, who knows what she would have done if it was actually something more serious.  Good luck with the job search - sounds like you’ll find a better place soon.  

Just out of curiously, did she make any reasonable request that you not wear the boots to work?  Or was it harassment from the get go?  I’m trying to put myself in your shoes as this situation may come up for other people too...

[blueparrot]

13 minutes ago, p1ng74 said:

Wow, these kind of things shouldn’t be happening with all the attention that workplace diversity has been getting lately.  You would think the same kind of fairness that is supposed to protect from harassment due to gender and orientation would allow you to wear boots.  Unfortunately small companies tend to find themselves exempt many things.  If this lady was willing to spend the lies and energy to take you down over a pair of boots, who knows what she would have done if it was actually something more serious.  Good luck with the job search - sounds like you’ll find a better place soon.  

Just out of curiously, did she make any reasonable request that you not wear the boots to work?  Or was it harassment from the get go?  I’m trying to put myself in your shoes as this situation may come up for other people too...

Nope, she never told me not to wear them.  She wanted to STEAL them off me.  She wears the highest heels every day and with short tight skirts, leggings, and low cut tops.  It's all about jealousy, not a desire to keep me from wearing them.  This place had no dress code at all.  My boss wears shorts and sandals and the owner is all over the map unless he is meeting with clients.  Usually though he travels to them and most are in other states so he's gone a lot. For what it's worth my "agent" is submitting me to two companies right now so hopefully I will be working again before the end of the month (and my vacation pay runs out). 

Edited November 5, 2018 by blueparrot

[SF]

call a lawyer.....

[pebblesf]

Every state has different work rules I guess.  But, I sure would take the time to consult a lawyer.  It seems laughable that this woman was the "HR person".  In any event , sure hope you find a better job soon.  I'm surprised your boss did not tell the woman to "back off", especially since the boots were never an issue until the heel queen got the "HR job". 

 

[Shyheels]

I think you should definitely see a lawyer. Your attendance record should be quite easy to authenticate, and surely there are procedures which need to be followed in order to sack someone - although I gather that in the US your labour laws are much less strict than ours over here. Certainly you couldn't sack someone on a whim and without following established protocols over here. You're H.R. person does sound quite flaky, dangerously so. 

[Jkrenzer]

21 minutes ago, Shyheels said:

I think you should definitely see a lawyer. Your attendance record should be quite easy to authenticate, and surely there are procedures which need to be followed in order to sack someone - although I gather that in the US your labour laws are much less strict than ours over here. Certainly you couldn't sack someone on a whim and without following established protocols over here. You're H.R. person does sound quite flaky, dangerously so. 

In most US states, no reason is required sack (fire as we say it). US labor laws are mostly state by state but are generally anti worker. In the US people are expected to live to work, not like Europe, or Australia I'm guessing, where people work to live. I'm not surprised at all by what happened, but he is a white male, another strike, and she is a female executive if you get my drift. Businesses are encouraged to have women execs. Even though women are a majority of the population there seems to be a minority bias in favor of American women to account for previous decades of unfair labor practices,  so she's not going anywhere.

[Shyheels]

I have had some experience of American employers' somewhat astonishing views of things. I led a high-end tour group for an American outfit on which one of our esteemed guests got drunk, racially abused and physically assaulted an entirely innocent young Asian mother who had inadvertently obstructed her view, and was cheered on by three other of our equally abusive guests. They should have been in cuffs in the back of a police car but managed to slink away in the crowd, then returned to the hotel and abused the staff. I expressed my unhappiness with this sort of behaviour and found myself on the outs because I wasn't supportive of "our" guests and a poor fit. In that I had to agree.   

[HappyinHeels]

blueparrot,

I suspect "HR" was the cover story and she was hired for a different purpose. I do not know the whole story, as none of us do in this case, but I would submit if it's not on paper then it is open to interpretation. Right-to-work state or not there has to be a paper trail showing why anyone is dismissed. Sure they could manufacture some excuse but only on the premise they will never hear from you again. Ignorance is bliss when you're making shit up. While I agree with JKrenzer said in general I would also add there is a reasonable expectation of fairness in employment and documentation to support actions taken. It is the lack of documentation or inconsistencies with established protocols that gets companies in trouble and where a worker can actually win a case. The per capita income in the USA exceeds nearly all European nations except Norway and Luxembourg but it comes at a cost and JKrenzer summarized that for you. I suspect 100 years from now our successors will look back at the USA and make comparisons with the British Empire 100 years before that. Capitalism has worked for quite a while but within 30 years or so it will start to starve people when it stops growing. Mark my words, the current rate of consumption and building is not sustainable. Many will then stop and reflect on why so many spent so much time working and not enough time enjoying. HappyinHeels

[p1ng74]

The same capitalism that brings us such vast selections of shoes at stores also brings out the worst of us in jealousy, greed, and deception.  The best of the best will ultimately thrive, but we will always share this world with the worst of the worst.  

I know from personal experience that taking legal action against a small company can just increase the personal financial and emotional costs of the whole ordeal.  @blueparrot I hope you find a better job soon where you can wear your heels!

Edited November 6, 2018 by p1ng74

[Shyheels]

The only people who win in legal actions, no matter what the outcome, are the lawyers. 

[CAT]

19 minutes ago, Shyheels said:

The only people who win in legal actions, no matter what the outcome, are the lawyers. 

You are 1000 percent correct 

[Gudulitooo]

I would say she was hired in order to fire you (and maybe others), with a total freedom in the way to obtain this.

She created the excuse that you said misplaced things to coworkers.

In case of a lawsuit, your coworkers will remind these things were in the air and figure you could have said them, mostly willing to keep their job.

[pebblesf]

Everyone makes valid points.  It sounds as if you were less than satisfied with this job, did this just happen when this "woman" took over HR?  Or, were you dissatisfied prior to that. 

I just hope you haven't invested too many years and personal effort into this position, and that "everything happens for a good reason"....

Onwards and upwards, keep us posted....D

[blueparrot]

I interviewed yesterday with another firm.  It was  cold and windy in Dallas so I wore my fur hooded parka, warm sweater, new black pants, and almost new shiny black Antonio Melani knee boots (under the pants) with 3" block heels.   Even with the boots under the pants I still got compliments on the boots from several people, even the interviewer.  The interview went quite well and I was told to expect a second interview at the job site. 

[Shyheels]

That’s great! Hopefully you can put this other job behind you and go on to something much better. Nice that they complimented your boots too.

[Steve63130]

And by displaying the boots at the interview they will know exactly what they're getting if they hire you. On the other leg, if you don't get any job offers after a while, you may want to start wearing conventional men's shoes until you're employed again. You can't buy heels without money!

Steve

[HappyinHeels]

blueparrot,  The Sage of Central Ohio has spoken so take heed my friend. He shall not mislead you. HappyinHeels

[blueparrot]

20 hours ago, Steve63130 said:

And by displaying the boots at the interview they will know exactly what they're getting if they hire you. On the other leg, if you don't get any job offers after a while, you may want to start wearing conventional men's shoes until you're employed again. You can't buy heels without money!

Steve

This point does ring a bell with Marco Rubio's experience wearing very similar looking  boots and getting negative press over it.  I thought about wearing my black OSHA approved safety boots but thought since the interview was in an office setting it would be better to wear dress footwear. 

[Shyheels]

I never understood what the big deal was about Marco Rubio’s boots, although there certainly were people who got worked up about it. It seemed such a silly thing to make a fuss over. There was nothing odd about those boots at all

[MackyHeels]

On 11/5/2018 at 5:23 PM, blueparrot said:

I had a pretty understanding boss who thought my boots were "cool".  A few months ago the owner of the company hired an HR lady.  Before the book keeper did the duty.  This new lady is a heel queen with 5 to 6 inch stilettos she wears almost every day.  When the real hot weather subsided I started wearing my knee and over the knee block heel boots.  I wore them last season with no issue brought up.  One day I wore in my new (off ebay) Sam Edelman Rylan OTK boots in deep red.  These have a nice 4" heel and look quite stylish with black skinny pants tucked in.  The HR lady made a big deal about them, even threatening to pull them off me and put them on.  She started making a big deal over my boots for weeks.  When I tried to ignore here she got mad and I started getting called in to the boss over things I supposedly said to coworkers.  I know she was the source of this.  Last Friday I got called in to a meeting with my boss and her.  They told me I was being fired for my conduct, something I can't understand as I have not had any issues and have been getting positive feedback on my work.  She started yelling at me when I tried to leave.  I told them to send my check and she flipped out.  She accused me of poor attendance which is a total lie.  Some how she got it in for me and I can only suspect it was jealously over my boots. 

I am actually glad to get out of there as there are many job openings in the Dallas area right now.  I think the next one I will only wear ankle boots under pants and not chance such a reaction again. 

 

Can't believe what she said.... What was the HR woman's fuss about besides jealousy, ever inquire why? To me it would be funny, even a compliment of her jealousy or envy of those  boots.  It would be amusing to me even liking her response if i were in your shoes or boots. In fact would wear them more often to get the HR women's blood boiling challenging her to give it a try pulling them off me.

Had it happen to me once, well the other time was at a nude beach which i can't comment about on the forum. This sexy older church going, god fearing, single, Asian, school teacher, at my gym which i see daily delighted in observing her. She remarked one time that she loved and desired my new outfit the previous day. Asking me questions about my impeccable taste wearing athletic tight clothing to the gym. She asked if i had everything meticulously organized  at home, closet full the amount of legging outfits i owned. She later responded telling me she wants my clothes, and i should give it to her.... Her response came off very harsh, and awkward, very surprising to hear from such a calm, quiet, lonely, intelligent, woman. If the roles were reversed i suppose a woman in my leggings would run away, even call authorities about a threat.. While i laughed it off as thinking she was joking, even thinking about it, but said nothing to her. She complimented my body but became tongue tide for whatever reason. Now i just keep my distance only saying hello to her from time to time on her daily visits to the gym. Yet can't keep from thinking to let her wear my many various older style leggings  i wear to the gym such a personal item to attire or ask about. Yet i enjoy looking upon her in tight bicycle black shorts, desiring her genetically gifted well defined toned legs. Would be shame for her to cover-up wearing any of my type of leggings. Although can't help thinking what a turn on it would be seeing her wear something i had worn thus my dilemma. 

Your so right woman who wear such heels like the HR you described pushed her buttons because your a man in something that she found very feminine to be wearing. Did you ever believe it maybe sexual fetish reaction she had about your boots or you in them? 

My experience i knew some enthusiastic, well meaning,  nice married woman was pushing the single Asian school teacher to start a relationship with me. Telling her about the many intriguing advantages, one being the wardrobe would instantly double, if we were a couple. The asian women grimaced smiling with the ideas by the other woman,  yet it  planted a seed lighting a fire under her to later ask or tell me she wants my clothes. One thing is certain you have to have some repore with a woman knowing each others names, occupation, single, married etc.. Then someone could make a suggestion to borrow or try on going, shopping asking for a friends gift during the holidays etc.. To have a total stranger discuss my outfit and demand me to give her to have isn't something lighthearted and normal. In fact it has me believe its deeper phycological  the asian woman doesn't want me to be wearing tight female legging outfits in public no matter how much she may desire or be intrigued with my body and parts showing.

Edited November 15, 2018 by MackyHeels

[bambam]

We actually have one of those high heel queens in HR at my place as well. She acts as everybody's mother, and certainly didn't enjoy when I came to work in eye liner. This is LA tho, so there is literally nothing she can do without a lawsuit when it comes to makeup. As far as heels go, I had a trans woman that I've met through a friend a few times tell me that men shouldn't crossdress, after seeing me in a sweater, skinny jeans, and those heeled booties I last posted. I almost had a heart attack, I was so shocked. It looks like insecurity really does run the show these days, although I'm not sure that that's a new thing...

[Shyheels]

3 hours ago, bambam said:

We actually have one of those high heel queens in HR at my place as well. She acts as everybody's mother, and certainly didn't enjoy when I came to work in eye liner. This is LA tho, so there is literally nothing she can do without a lawsuit when it comes to makeup. As far as heels go, I had a trans woman that I've met through a friend a few times tell me that men shouldn't crossdress, after seeing me in a sweater, skinny jeans, and those heeled booties I last posted. I almost had a heart attack, I was so shocked. It looks like insecurity really does run the show these days, although I'm not sure that that's a new thing...

Hypocrisy rules. Some people have lots of rules for others to follow, none for themselves. They believe they alone have the right of self expression and that they  hold some sort of patent on being special.

Edited November 16, 2018 by Shyheels

[Steve63130]

Shyheels,

RIGHT! Their motto is "Do as I say, not as I do!"

Steve

[Shyheels]

Next stop is the accusation of “cultural appropriation” by any man wearing heels or tall boots...

[SF]

Lots of intolerant folks out here in "tolerant" California, "the land of milk and honey."  Sad....

Have fun.....  sf

[bambam]

Already have that loaded for any woman I see wearing trousers. The very idea!!!!

[Shyheels]

Actually, one would think Americans could accuse the world of "cultural appropriation" .

And who in the world gave everyone the right to speak English?

 

 

[HappyinHeels]

bambam,

Hollywood is full of hypocrites telling the unwashed masses living in such disdainful places as the US Midwest which produces the lion's share of the cars they drive, the small engines which power their tools, lawn mowers, generators, and so much of the grain they consume how to save the planet and live a more green existence. They live in homes which are five times the size of the average American home in gated communities with armed security guards and can't possibly understand living on a budget. What I have learned from liberal friends of mine, when not in the public spotlight, is that many liberals expend so much energy maintaining their liberal credentials they eventually become perpetually angry people who nobody wants to be around. They rail against our President, the capitalist system, and seemingly against those who either serve in the military or those who just show outward signs of patriotism. Nowhere else on Earth can such self-serving narcissists make so much money and complain so much. Just remember how many of them said they would move from the United States if George W. Bush won or Donald Trump won and none of them left. Those whose public face is liberal tell a different private story as it relates to their portfolio. Few people have made more money in the stock market than in the last two years which has been a boon for the average working man and woman trying to grow their retirement accounts. Fewer people of all races unemployed than ever before is a very inconvenient fact for those whose existence depends on fanning the flames of culture wars. People who you see acting as a hypocrite need to be called out and stepped on one by one. The mob will rule only if you allow it do so.   No one person or ideology can be allowed to suppress any other in a true democracy but that requires people who value freedom to stop watching and start fighting back. Confucius said "to know what is right and not do it is want of courage." There are few who do courageous things in Hollywood. All the press emanating from the Harvey Weinstein mistreatment of women gave rise to the "Me Too" movement. The problem is this had been going on for more than 20 years because getting ahead in the industry was more important than fighting back on the basis on one's morality. No wonder these people are in a revolving cycle of drug rehab, divorce, litigation over divorce, and thigh deep in emotional problems. Apart from citizenship and the air we breathe the bulk of Hollywood and the elitists who run the West Coast have nothing in common with the rest of us.  To hell with them and anyone else who would trample your freedom for their own enlightenment. HappyinHeels