Newbie with a question

[Pointer7]

Hi Everyone,

I am a newbie here, been browsing the forums for a while but only just signed up great forum..

I wanted to ask a question, I like wearing high heels at home sometimes (don't dress up or anything just the heels) I have recently been walking around my estate late at night wearing ballet flats, black tights and dark jeans (so no one can see!) and its feels great!

I would never have the confidence to go in to a shop or a store wearing them so does anyone have any tips on how to overcome this? like maybe a particular shoe I can wear (maybe unisex) or something so it doesn't look obvious?

[freestyle75]

Hi,

and welcome to the forum!

Do you want to wear ballet FLATS outside or do you want to wear HEELS outside? -- Not sure why you would want to wear ballet flats, but I personally don't know any male shoe style that would be very similar. Just wear them! If you are asking on how to start wearing heels outside... well... either you just put them on (maybe with some jeans covering most of the shoe), or you buy a dedicated male heel, so you can always say that "this is a guy's boot". Yves Saint Laurent has some in stock this season:

Retailing at a bargain price of 1.595 USD, you may also just spend a hundred bucks on similar shoes from the women's side of the aisle and save somewhere around > 1000 USD or so. To be honest, there won't be much happening. Yesterday, compared to your current status, I dressed outragiously with 4.7 inch platform heels, leather leggings and white blouse (similar style to what is currently sold at Gucci for MEN this season). Spent close to 5 hours in the city, walking around, going in and out of shops, trying on shoes, shirts, etc. and talking to sales reps. I did not get one bad comment from ANYONE. It's all about HOW you wearing stuff. Be bold, be confident - you will soon see that in today's society, most people don't even care about you anyway. Sad, but true...

[Pointer7]

Hi,

thank you for the reply, I don't think I'd ever have the confidence to wear heels in public, I know it sounds silly but I care what people think.....

I do wear the heels around the grounds of my house when its quiet, I even thought about going to the cinema and changing in to them when the film started so no one can see! just like the feel of wearing them in public but only of no one can see lol

[Heelster]

Start small.

Put on a pair of heels with some jeans, and go to the gas station. Drop off your mail at the post office. Go to a bank ATM.

I travel often for business. This is when I get to go out and wear heels to dinner, shopping, just about anywhere after work.

[hh4evr1]

I have gotten more reactions from wearing women's flat shoes in public than I have when wearing heeled boots (block heels mainly).

[Thighbootguy]

 I don't think I'd ever have the confidence to wear heels in public, I know it sounds silly but I care what people think.....

If you keep saying that, your defeated before you start.

Like hh4evr1, I have gotten more attention wearing flats that I have wearing boots, and I wear thigh boots with 5" stiletto heels.

I would suggest getting a pair of knee high boots with a block heel and wear them under jeans.  Don't go nuts with the heel, but get a 3"-4" that you are comfortable wearing.  NO ONE WILL NOTICE!

When you want to be more adventures (and you will) wear the boots over the jeans.

The key to wearing anything in public is to be comfortable with the image you are presenting.  Start by putting on your heels and looking at yourself in a full length mirror.  Honestly ask yourself if you like the image you are seeing.  Can you say, "That looks good"?  If YOU really like the image, then who cares what anyone else thinks.  That is an overstatement.  We do care what people think, but consider what people think when they see someone making a fashion statement with total confidence.

Before you go you you have to have the confidence that you look good.  If you really think you look good, other people will pick up on that confident image and respect  what you are presenting.  However, if you go out with a "I hope no one notices" attitude, you might as well hang a sign around your neck that says "I'M WEARING HEELS... DON'T LOOK".  Projecting confidence is the key to the whole thing and that is true for a lot of things besides wearing heels.

Life is too short to not enjoy living it.  Be yourself and do what you enjoy so ling as it doesn't infringe on anyone else.  NO ONE WILL NOTICE!

Enjoy your heels.

TBG

[Steve63130]

Pointer7,

Thighbootguy's advice, as usual, is excellent. Listen to him. His advice has worked for me!

Look for unisex styles of shoes, boots, loafers, clogs, and sandals with block heels. There are "menswear inspired" styles of women's heels available. Don't go for heels over 3" until you learn how to master them gracefully. Get some longish pants or jeans that come down to within an inch or so of the floor when you're in those heels. Bootcut styles look great on a guy. Then practice a LOT until you are confident that you can present a positive image in public and not trip when you walk in heels. First time out you'll be nervous. We all are. It gets easier each time. Nobody will notice, and if they do, they probably won't say anything. Teenage girls in groups will giggle - smile and move on. Then pretty soon you'll wonder what your concern was all about and why people don't notice! Yes, it sounds incredible, but it's true. You may opt to wear more femme styles, such as more slender heels, thinner straps, brighter colors or a higher platform. As you gain confidence, go for it. Good luck, and post your experiences here so we can gauge your progress and give you encouragement.

Steve

[mlroseplant]

I started wearing high heels about 3 years ago. By "high," I mean anything 3 1/2 inches or above. I wore the clogs pictured below or something very similar on and off for several years before I decided I had the confidence to rock some "real" heels.  These clogs have 2 1/2 in heels, and are very easy to get used to, plus they look pretty much like any other clog, only with just a little bit of an elevated heel. 

 

If if you start off with something like this, or a boot with a 2 - 2 1/2 inch heel, you'll gain confidence as well as practical experience about wearing high heels in the real world. Good luck! 

[Rob]

I'm quite conservative in my footwear compared to most of the members here. (The last post in this thread is an example of the kind of boots I wear.) But, I would also advise starting small.

Buy some plain black block heeled boots with a low heel. A one inch heeled boot will look like a man's boot. A two inch block heel will be barely noticeable. A three inch block heel may be noticed, but won't attract much attention.

Start at a level that you are comfortable with, wear them out and about until you gain confidence, then push the boundaries with something higher. And people that you know will slowly get used to seeing you in a heel - it is the big changes that people notice and comment on, but if you take small steps people will just think it is perfectly normal to see you in "boots with a bit of a heel".

Good luck!

[Bigfoot15]

I've been wearing heels for a while but just recently ventured out in public on several occasions. I agree with everything said so far. I started with a short trip to town to run a few errands. First big trip out for me was out of town with high heel boots and my jeans over them. It does get easier, less nerve racking and more fun the more you go out. Start small and build up. Give it a try and good luck!

[Rockbass19]

This is a big step.  It does feel good to go out in public on what is currently viewed as taboo. Be prepared for all kinds of reactions, from positive to negative.  Most of all, remember we live in the age of technology - everyone has a smartphone that takes pictures and video, and you could be subjecting yourself to some online humiliation, if you take it that way.  I know some other members here would LOVE to be filmed while in public with their heels on, to help bring attention to "the cause".  

I, like you, do most of my heeling/dressing in the house.  I started off just wearing high heeled boots under my jeans, but now I've taken a liking to leggings and stiletto shoes.  I wouldn't dare wear them outside my house, but I do wear the boots out once in a while - they are the least noticeable.

There are some very stylish guys here that put great outfits together for public appearances.  Check them out for inspiration and ideas, as I have done.  Best of luck to you.

[SF]

Pointer, Lots of good advice (and experience) here.  I also wear heels in public, have for about 20 years. You just have to know your confidence level, and feel comfortable with yourself. 

Give it a try, you may find the experience wonderful and, like me,  never look back.   Have fun.    sf

[HappyinHeels]

Pointer7-

Welcome to our forum! Your question, common though it is, always generates many replies because we all remember what it was like to be your position right now. Thew opinions here are from a cross-section of society: elected officials, artists, electricians and others in the trades, law enforcement officials, and many others who love heels. The common thread is that we all had fears about the same thing only to discover that the actual demons were the ones we put into our own heads. Follow TBG's advice, an older guy with a beard who openly wears thigh-high boots with tall heels in northern Kentucky with no problems. JeffB lives in the tough City of Philadelphia and wear skirts with heels and has no issues. Some blend block heels or wedges with closed toes into an outfit with bootcut jeans and then may start doing things like pumping gas or walking around after dark. While this seems okay it doesn't move your confidence along very fast. Many of us wear other things as well such as pantyhose, more feminine tops, women's jewelry or watches, and may polish our toes and fingers. Many of us carry handbags as well. We dress (the shoes are a big part of it) to fit the mood we have that particular day just like most women do. Some of us dress like women and others don't intend any such thing rather we are a spectrum of people and styles.

I wear pantyhose and bootcut jeans or straight jeans with rather high heels (5" or more) wedge sandals, pumps, or some type of boot and a watch or perhaps a handbag, and knit cap and do my thing. When in a place like downtown Chicago or other large places away from home I will wear even more obvious heels.

Others are quite correct that most people are too busy with themselves (it is a much more self-absorbed world now) to really notice your footwear and will not say anything at all. Make no mistake though; if you wear heels some people WILL notice. What others are telling you here is that, according to our experience, nothing bad will happen to you. If anything is said it will overwhelmingly be positive and said by women to you. If something remotely rude is said or implied ( a stare, a giggle) it will be from afar but most people are cowards by themselves when acting boorishly. Remember the bully dies without an audience. The key to any day on this planet is confidence in presentation in no matter what you do. The world DOES pay attention to that!    HappyinHeels

[SF]

Happy.....  Liked your post, but I have to ask, how do (did) you know our professions????  Very presceptive of you!!!  Ha ha ha....   Take care, sf

[stealhers]

Happy.....  Liked your post, but I have to ask, how do (did) you know our professions????  Very presceptive of you!!!  Ha ha ha....   Take care, sf

yep got me right I'm an electrician + truck driver! 

[Logjam]

Hey, HiH, you left out the engineers!

Regards, Logjam

[mlroseplant]

Happy.....  Liked your post, but I have to ask, how do (did) you know our professions????  Very presceptive of you!!!  Ha ha ha....   Take care, sf

In my case, I figured it was because I had mentioned my work a number of times on the forum.

[Pointer7]

Hey Everyone,

Thank you for the replies, I have to say I have never experienced such helpful and kind people so thank you.

I did go to the cinema during the day and once I got in and sat down I did change in to some flats (not heels I know, not that confident yet) I had on opaque black tights underneath and it felt great, thought about visiting the loo with them on but I crossed my legs instead! lol

Again thank you for the replies hopefully I will progress from here

[heellover35]

I agree with all that confidence is the key. Don't bother about other rude glances or remarks. Do what you please. First go to far away shopping mall in medium heels with low jeans and believe me that it will enhance your confidence..keep on heels in your house.

[Gudulitooo]

Pointer7,

I will only say what the guys here told that convinced me to start: Start by walking in a very crowded area.

All the people are too busy to notice, or if they do, they will ignore you.

As TBG said, if you like your image in the mirror, there are a lot of chances that other people will do also.

[HappyinHeels]

SF,   Was away for several days on family business and noticed your question. It was just a few professions I included based on what I remember. I also considered the spectrum of professions represented by the clientele at my friend's independent shoe store in Chicago. I feel that cross-section of society is representative of our membership here. I would add, for anyone wondering, that via interviews of sales staff at about a dozen different retailers apart from my friend's store, there are many more men curious about heels, trying them on, buying them, and wearing them than general society realizes. All this is designed to help the newbie, Pointer7 in this case, realize he isn't alone and has come to the right place. HappyinHeels