Is Society Being More Tolerant?

[Guest]

Maybe not with our new neighbours daughters, they eyeballed me a couple of days ago and caught a sight of a heel. Just couldn't take their eyes of me. Well I can throw down a glove and place a challenge . Otherwise I think there is movement but slowly. Al

[crotchboots-m]

eyeballed you? maybe she thought you where hot in those heels?...

[new_look]

yes maybe they were looking negatively, more looking to confirm that what they thought they saw was true. No matter what the opinion on it, men in heels are an unusual sight so if someone does catch a glimpse they will probably look again to double check that they saw what they thought they saw.

[Histiletto]

They also will probably tell others, who will tell others and so on. Soon, the planet will be filled with thoughts of men wearing heels and it can become expected the more people see heelers. I know it's dreaming a little, but the truth be known, it's more plausible now than even a year ago. We can make male heeling a reality, just be yourself and step outside and continue heeling to the public venue that you were going to anyway.

[johnieheel]

Well I haven't posted in this thread for some time now Since the time I started it I have been out in heels quite a lot. Haven't gotton many comments but the ones I have recived are positive. No body seems to care whats on my feet. So I truly believe folks are becomming more open minded about what they see in public as to men wearing heels. TY

[Steve63130]

Did you ever stop to think that it's because of your great taste in shoes? While they are women's heels, they look great on you, you walk well in them, and most of all, you exude confidence and you're obviously having fun. Why should other people care what's on your feet? You're showing them you're in charge and don't need or want their opinion. (But I'm giving you mine anyway! LOL) Steve

[johnieheel]

LOL Thank you Steve..I do got good taste lol. Even the girls i date tell me that.

[Heelster]

Depends on the part of society...

My frumpy christian right wing realitives think women in heels are stupid....I hate to venture what they think about guys in heels...

I can relate to that. I watch as they have to deal with the issue of gay marriage within the family, and close friends. I hear them discuss how horrible society has become, and how "family values" are declining. I hear all of this righteous posturing and yet if they only knew what is happening directly in front of them. Recent and upcoming events continue to show me how they truely think.

The right wing 'militant evangelicals' (as I refer to some of my family) are only as tolerant has they legally have to be. If they can't persuade, they legislate,

In order to protect my immediate family from their wrath, I have be careful what I do. I have seen how they treat other family members, and the consequences of their actions toward them. By showing up at a family function in heels, I would be putting my wife and kids on the 'front line' so to speak.

OK - done ranting - - - -

[Thighbootguy]

I heard an interesting idea on NPR the other day about getting people with very different points of view on social issues to start to see each other point of view. In today’s society, someone that doesn’t think the way you do is often vilified. The idea was to get the folks together in a small group (dinner at a restaurant) and let them meet each other. With luck, they will discover that although they have different points of view, they are still decent people. The program was considering differences of opinion on topics like gay marriage, race,… But, it occurs to me that showing up at a small meeting like that in heels wouldn’t be a bad idea.

[HappyinHeels]

When thinking of "is society being more tolerant" I always saw this thread and figured it was viewed by our members' experiences as they walked and traveled about in their heels and then I realized there's another way to guage this.Some of us may conceal, or not, the heels we wear when out in public but there is one time when you can't conceal it at all and that's at the store when you are trying them on. Whether you are buying sandals, pumps, or platforms with heels from 2-8" have to bare your feet. It reveals what you are wearing and maybe your nail polish color as well. One might think that someone "daring" or "brave" enough to buy stiletto heels would also wear the same shoes in public venues but that isn't exactly so...at least not in the same places you buy them. Based upon my experiences buying high heels in stores from Bakers, DSW, Macys, Nordstrom Rack, and the DKNY store in NYC I'd have to say the answer is definitely more tolerant. I go in and always chat with the staff and then focus on the new items and try on what most "calls out to me." I know I have been seen by whomever may have walked by and there has never been a reaction. Nobody shouted, giggled, suddenly walked out or any of that nonsense. The observation of many that too many are too involved in other things to notice or care has been my experience so, from the vantage point of where you try them on, I think things are definitely better now. Aside from the obvious reason of ensuring a well-fitting shoe isn't this one more good reason to "try them on"? HappyinHeels

[LiveAndLearn]

I think society is becomming more accepting of men in heels. Granted not everyone loves it yet, and I dont think everyone will love it ever, just like people are still rasist, homophobic, or sexist. Saying that I have recived generally positive feedback and experiences when I public-heel. A lot of the comments are saying "At first a lot of people noticed me, but now not many people do." - The only thing im going to say here is, maybe at the begining of the heeling process you were LOOKING for people who were noticing you. Being more self-concious of what you were doing, trying to not draw attention to yourself, avidly made you more noticeable to other people, and now having being doing it for a while you're less concerned about other people and you walk on like it's nothing, therefore people dont notice that you're trying to hide something. Humans are humans are we are going to stare regardless, im a femanine gay male, I wear heels and makeup and yet im friends with a vast group of people who are masculine and "geeky", sometimes very opinionated and stubborn too. I feel like at the young age of 19 going on 20 I have learnt a lot about myself and what being "me" is in society, which is like I said, basically an androgynous male. Yet I recall a few weeks ago seeing a 40-50year old male, who had fadded tattoo's on his arms and his wife linked arm in arm with him, wearing female clothing, a wig and heels. He was staring down at the floor and as I walked by I was staring at him intentivly. My thoughts were "What a brave guy. Im glad he has support there. I hope he feels better about himself soon to not be staring at the floor so much." but to him, he was probably thinking "Oh god this teenage boy is staring at me PLEASE dont say anything mean." Most of the time people aren't staring because they want to be negative or bring you down. They're staring because it's a new experience for them, and usually they're just interested about what you do and why you do it. It's a learning experience for them, not an oppertunity to put someone down, as most of us automatically think in our pessamistic ways. Sorry for the long post... I just have a lot of feelings! (10 points if you get the reference. )

[Stilletto2004]

15 years ago I was scared to death to wear pantyhose with shorts in public. I do it every day now - to work, to play, everywhere. I used to ask the same thing, why won't society let men wear hosiery? Well it turns out they do. And I suspect the very same thing is true for heels. I venture out more and more in heels and sure I get a few glances or sideways looks, but that's ok with me - they're my feet and I can wear what I want on them.

[CassieJ]

Based on my wife's experience, some people even look at women in heels with sideways looks and scorn. If we knew what percentage were like that I bet it would be similar for men in heels. Men might get a lot more double-takes as it is still unexpected but some people just can't keep their opinions to themselves on what others wear, both men and women.

[heelsthisguy]

Thats a tough one to answer but i feel that the answer is yes. At the same time tough it depends on a LOT of factors. I do believed people are starting to mature and not care about what others wear as there is so much more important things to worry about these days in the world than someones outfit, it's becoming a normal exception without having seen guys openly wear heels.

[JeffB]

I've probably said this here a time or two already, but what others here view as tolerance, I see as indifference. With 99% of the people you encounter in your travels while in heels so absorbed with their own lives and affairs, they're just not going to pay much, if any attention to men wearing high heels unless we sport something that's really out there. I also view the idea of tolerance as nothing worth thinking much about, if people happen to like what I wear, great, if they choose to ignore me, that's fine too. This is just my opinion, but we shouldn't go out of our way to hope for tolerance as I'm not sure it'll ever happen in ways we'd like, or want.

[CassieJ]

I went out to eat last night with my wife. I was wearing black 5" heels underneath my long jeans. Despite sticking my foot out from under the end of the booth/table, I don't believe anyone, including our server, noticed. I was a little disappointed. People really are self-involved and rarely notice things that are not shoved in their faces.

[Bubba136]

I also see using the word " tollerence" as wrong word in this instance. I agree with Jeff that "indifference" better describes general public's attitude at seeing a man wearing woman's shoes. 15 years ago, everyone noticing a man in heels would have had a visable reaction. As is said by most public heelers today, visible reaction is becoming more rare with passing months. I also attribute this more to todys recognition and acceptance of alternative life styles. Society is constantly evolving. Evolution toward full indifference to men in heels is slowly happening. And, just might get there in the next decade.

[Foxyheels]

Overall I think yes and not just about men wearing heels. I think the general public are much more tolerant about fashion in general and I think we have had a lot of different genres of extreme fashion in the last 30 years. People are not shocked easily nowadays, some of it may be forced tolerance via legislation but it all boils down to the simple fact that you can go out in heels with very little fear nowadays.

[HappyinHeels]

JeffB makes a good point about "tolerance" but, since the thread has tolerance in its title, it is understood that's what we're talking about. I thought about exactly what word would capture that which we seek. Indifference would fit the bill if one wants to dress the way they wish. Whether it was women fighting for the right to vote all over the world, blacks fighting for the right to use the same bathrooms as whites, or the brown man fighting for the right to stay out past the wail of the curfew siren I believe the common denominator in all these fights was the desire to be able to get out into the world and do seemingly normal things and have NOTHING happen, no spectacle, no nonsense, no drama. Just their yearning to live and enjoy life as all human beings want to do. It is not that these people were looking for tolerance or indifference rather they were looking for no obstructions in their paths. It would be easy to interpret this as "tolerance" when what they were are all looking for was the ability to coexist. HappyinHeels

[johnieheel]

Well back when I started this thread, tolerance was the word that just seemed right. Now that I have a lot more experience in street heeling where ever I go, whenever I want I think acceptance would be much more appropriate. Yes. I do believe times are changing and people are really not very shocked about seeing a man in heels in a lot of places around the globe and actually , once they have seen it, it's like anything else they haven't seen before and don't even bat an eye the next time they see it. No big deal any more and I think it's great!!! It's been a life long dream for me to be able to wear heels in public freely without being ridiculed and now it has finally come true. It can only get better with time as long as we all get out there and just be ourselves. Thank you all!!!

[wishicould]

I've gone out in heels quite a bit in the past week as I've finally gotten my courage. I went to a large shopping mall in my 4" black platform sandals with shiny metallic pink toenails today and had a great experience. I went to the Lucky Brand store and shopped for blue jeans and the saleslady helping me didn't bat an eyelash about my heels/toes. She even commented on my shoes, "those jeans fit well with those shoes". The other saleslady was also friendly giving me a nice smile the first time she saw my feet and also helped with sizing. Bought two pair of jeans. I knew there was a Bakers at the mall. I walked there, went in and the young saleslady saw me looking at a pair of shoes, my avatar. Asked for size eleven, she said they didn't have that size but she could order it. I pointed to another pair, she said no 11's in the store. She then told me if I want, she will bring all the elevens in stock for me to try on. I said sure. It was fun trying them all on, she helped me with how they looked and was very pleasant. I found a pair I liked and asked the price, it was slightly more than I was expecting, she said she could hold them, I said yes. I don't have a long history of wearing heels but I had no bad comments or looks today and the women I spoke to today were more than tolerant. I don't think it would have been so easy to go out in heels 20 years ago.

[bootsmike]

It's difficult to tell if tolerance has increased. I have always had a thing for leather boots. In '95 I bought a pair of black leather boots in Paris. These were really high kneeboots. When pulled up all the way, the top of the shafs were on my knees. These were mens boots though, very much like engineer boots. I decided to wear them over my jeans during my trip back to the Netherlands by train. Mostly people didn't notice or ignored, with two exceptions: When I walked to the station, a small truck with worksmen passed who were eyeballing me as if I was an alien. Second was in Brussels where I had to switch trains, a bunch of kids got really excited (in a silly way) when they spotted my boots. In the years between then and last winter, I wore my boots almost only under my jeans and nobody seemed to notice or care. Then I decided to start wearing my other pair of boots (brown kneehigh boots with zippers) over my jeans. I walked for two days with my boots over my jeans in Disneyland Paris, so enough audience over there.I noticed some people looking at my boots but no real reactions. I only got a few amused glances from one or two women. Now I regularly wear my jeans in my boots. Sometimes I get funny looks from teenage kids, but mostly people don't notice/don't care/ignore. I realize my experience is not completely on-topic because it has nothing to deal with high heels. Probably the tolerance of the public is better when concerning men wearing (mens) boots compared to men wearing high heels. Fact is, 17 years ago I was mostly ignored in my boots, just as nowadays. The biggest difference for me is that I stopped caring about what other people migh think about me. I just wear what I like.

[HappyinHeels]

wishicould, My friend I think you could change your name to "yesidid" as you certainly have good taste in shoes and have debuted wearing pink nail polish on your toes no less ....and were not run over by bogeymen in a pickup truck rather were treted well by the retail staffs you encountered which is how it SHOULD be. The staff at Bakers, Macy's, Boston Store, and DSW have always been very friendly and professional with me the whole time. I am especially fond of Bakers and many of the girls are quite impressed with my knowledge of their product line. I simply say that I love the product so I an paying close attention. HappyinHeels

[JeffB]

JeffB makes a good point about "tolerance" but, since the thread has tolerance in its title, it is understood that's what we're talking about. I thought about exactly what word would capture that which we seek. Indifference would fit the bill if one wants to dress the way they wish. Whether it was women fighting for the right to vote all over the world, blacks fighting for the right to use the same bathrooms as whites, or the brown man fighting for the right to stay out past the wail of the curfew siren I believe the common denominator in all these fights was the desire to be able to get out into the world and do seemingly normal things and have NOTHING happen, no spectacle, no nonsense, no drama. Just their yearning to live and enjoy life as all human beings want to do. It is not that these people were looking for tolerance or indifference rather they were looking for no obstructions in their paths. It would be easy to interpret this as "tolerance" when what they were are all looking for was the ability to coexist. HappyinHeels

Bravo, my friend! I couldn't have said it better! You voiced just the sort of opinions that best describe the goal all of us as freestylers seek, the ability to dress the way we want in public without any sort of clamor, to be looked upon as no different than everyone else, regardless of the shoes or clothes we choose to wear.

[Thighbootguy]

I believe the common denominator in all these fights was the desire to be able to get out into the world and do seemingly normal things and have NOTHING happen, no spectacle, no nonsense, no drama. ... It is not that these people were looking for tolerance or indifference rather they were looking for no obstructions in their paths.

I almost agree.

My experience is that society is more tolerant of a lot of things, including guys in heels. Whether the tolerance comes from indifference, education, just not paying attention isn’t a concern. It is just easier to present yourself as a non-conformant.

My area of disagreement is having a goal of going out in heels (in my case attached to thigh boots) and having NOTHING happen? Once you get past the “hey, I can do this” stage of heeling, one of the best parts is getting a “nice boots” comment. It may be that I enjoy non-conformity for its own sake, but I do enjoy the extra attention you get when wearing heels. I suggest that if it wasn’t for that extra attention, gals wouldn’t bother wearing them either.