Married father of 3 wears skirts, heels to work because ‘he can’

[Shyheels]

Just wearing high heels would not be cross-dressing any more than wearing a necktie or men's brogues would be cross-dressing for a woman.  

[RonC]

5 hours ago, Shyheels said:

Just wearing high heels would not be cross-dressing any more than wearing a necktie or men's brogues would be cross-dressing for a woman.  

I would disagree with you on this as women can wear just about whatever they want without it being considered as crossdressing.  The rules are different for men whether we like it or not.

[Shyheels]

I'm not talking about perception, I'm talking about logic.

[RonC]

7 minutes ago, Shyheels said:

I'm not talking about perception, I'm talking about logic.

Without perception, we wouldn't have these labels.  It is what it is.

[Shyheels]

Sorry - wearing a pair of heels just isn't cross-dressing. 

Perception is meaningful only to the perceiver. It alters nothing. If you stand at the edge of a plain and look outward, you'll perceive the world to be flat. Your perception does not make the world flat, Even if you have a whole bunch of people standing beside you nodding and agreeing with you, it still doesn't make the world flat. 

Edited April 8, 2021 by Shyheels

[Jkrenzer]

2 hours ago, Shyheels said:

Sorry - wearing a pair of heels just isn't cross-dressing. 

Perception is meaningful only to the perceiver. It alters nothing. If you stand at the edge of a plain and look outward, you'll perceive the world to be flat. Your perception does not make the world flat, Even if you have a whole bunch of people standing beside you nodding and agreeing with you, it still doesn't make the world flat. 

In most cases perceptipn IS reality. If your boss perceives you're an idiot, you're going to get canned. It applies to most things in life.

[Shyheels]

So if your boss thinks you’re an idiot, you therefore ARE an idiot? Are you serious?

[Jkrenzer]

52 minutes ago, Shyheels said:

So if your boss thinks you’re an idiot, you therefore ARE an idiot? Are you serious?

It doesn't mean you're an idiot, it means it's not relevant if you are or not since the perception is the rule. 

Perception is reality, Donald Trump made a career out of. A really bad business man who inherited his wealth, would be wealthier if he never did anything. Convinced the masses he is a great businessman, perception became reality, became president. 

[Shyheels]

Perception and reality are not the same things. People may act as though they are and that may have consequences. Your boss believing you to be an idiot does not make you an idiot. Your boss may well be the idiot - but an idiot with power to sack you.

That does not make you an idiot.

Your next boss may decide you’re a genius.

So do you go through life living in multiple simultaneous realities? Seriously?

Perceptions may have consequences, but that does not alter reality. If someone perceives Donald Trump to be a great businesman, that does not make him a great businessman.  For many yers Bernie Madoff was perceived to be a brilliant businessman and straight shooter offering huge returns - so was he a brilliant businesman and straight shooter? That was the perception. Was it the reality as well?

Edited April 9, 2021 by Shyheels

[mlroseplant]

8 hours ago, Shyheels said:

Perception and reality are not the same things. People may act as though they are and that may have consequences. Your boss believing you to be an idiot does not make you an idiot. Your boss may well be the idiot - but an idiot with power to sack you.

That does not make you an idiot.

Your next boss may decide you’re a genius.

So do you go through life living in multiple simultaneous realities? Seriously?

Perceptions may have consequences, but that does not alter reality. If someone perceives Donald Trump to be a great businesman, that does not make him a great businessman.  For many yers Bernie Madoff was perceived to be a brilliant businessman and straight shooter offering huge returns - so was he a brilliant businesman and straight shooter? That was the perception. Was it the reality as well?

I would love to jump in on this, but I'm going to do the sensible thing, sign off, and make it to work on time. And that is at least my perception of reality. In actual reality, I could probably be quite late with no actual consequences, but not every day. To be continued, perhaps.

[hiddenheels]

12 hours ago, Shyheels said:

Perception and reality are not the same things. People may act as though they are and that may have consequences. Your boss believing you to be an idiot does not make you an idiot. Your boss may well be the idiot - but an idiot with power to sack you.

That does not make you an idiot.

Your next boss may decide you’re a genius.

So do you go through life living in multiple simultaneous realities? Seriously?

Perceptions may have consequences, but that does not alter reality. If someone perceives Donald Trump to be a great businesman, that does not make him a great businessman.  For many yers Bernie Madoff was perceived to be a brilliant businessman and straight shooter offering huge returns - so was he a brilliant businesman and straight shooter? That was the perception. Was it the reality as well?

For work, you likely have 1 boss you work with every day, so their perception (or perception of reality) matters, and influences your finances/outlook/prospects a lot.

With heels, assuming you're not at work, you are being "perceived" by every single person, strangers really, who see you. There's no way you can satisfy the judgements of all of these strangers, and there really shouldn't be any expectation to do so. They're irrelevant. And if they're irrelevant, then why should we care about them?

[Shyheels]

I’m not saying perception doesn’t matter, only that it is not reality. As I say, perceptions can have real life consequences but they are still perceptions, not the reality. Your boss considering you an idiot does not mean you really are an idiot. That’s the boss’s perception. The reality may be much different - or not as the case may be.

[RonC]

Well, I think the reality is that the majority of people seeing a man wearing high heels will perceive that person as being rather unusual.  So you have reality and perception the the same time. 

[Shyheels]

Certainly reality and perception can coincide, obviously. But a blanket statement that perception is reality is false.

[Pumped]

3 hours ago, RonC said:

Well, I think the reality is that the majority of people seeing a man wearing high heels will perceive that person as being rather unusual.  So you have reality and perception the the same time. 

Probably depends on the area you live. Big city, east or west coast, probably not much thought about it. Farm and ranch country and you will get some second looks and maybe a comment or two.

[mlroseplant]

19 hours ago, Shyheels said:

I’m not saying perception doesn’t matter, only that it is not reality. As I say, perceptions can have real life consequences but they are still perceptions, not the reality. Your boss considering you an idiot does not mean you really are an idiot. That’s the boss’s perception. The reality may be much different - or not as the case may be.

René Descartes walked into a McDonald's and ordered a Big Mac and a large Coca Cola. The kid behind the counter asked him, "Would you like some fries with that, sir?" Descartes considered it for a moment and said, "I think not." He promptly disappeared. Bah-dum-bum!

I assume that we are not talking about this kind of basic philosophical perception, where if a tree were to fall in the forest, and my wife didn't hear it, would I still be wrong? That is another joke, by the way, for the benefit of those for whom English is not your first language.

I think that one of the biggest problems society is facing in modern times is the inability to agree on what reality actually is. This has been going on for thousands of years, one ancient example being recorded in the 18th chapter of John in the Christian Bible, where Pontius Pilate asks Christ, right before Pilate sent him out to be crucified, "What is truth?" Of course, this story is likely apocryphal, but it doesn't diminish the idea that we have been struggling with this problem, probably since humans acquired the ability to speak. However, the reality/perception gap seems to have widened exponentially since the advent of the internet and 24 hour news.

I don't disagree with you 100%, but I do think that perception, or perhaps I should say "inaccurate perception," plays a bigger role than it has in the past. The attitude seems to be that my reality is no more valid than anybody else's. When presented with what once would have been considered solid, documented evidence, suddenly all that claptrap is Fake News. What can be done with THAT? You can't logic your way out of it. The only thing you can do is to try and be a decent person, gain some respect, and hope you can change the world just a little bit, one person at a time. This goes for heel wearing as well as more philosophical issues. It does make me quite weary from time to time, but most of the time I remain optimistic.

[Shyheels]

Perception has always played a huge role in human affairs. It doesn't alter reality. We perceive the world to be flat. It isn't. For a long time the sun was perceived to revolve around the Earth. It doesn't. 

[Cali]

4 hours ago, mlroseplant said:

If a tree were to fall in the forest, and my wife didn't hear it, would I still be wrong? 

If she is anything like my Ex-wife, then yes, you are wrong.

Edited April 10, 2021 by Cali

[Shyheels]

Mine too

[5150PLB1]

If a military commander wishes to deceive his opponent as to his intentions, he enhances his opponent's perception of the situation and hides the reality of the situation. One of the basic tenants put forth in Sun Tzu's 'The Art of War'.

[spikesmike]

5150PLB1 : Question . Were you in the military ? If so , Did your commander wear high heels to deceive his opponent ? Mike

[Shyheels]

What would be the point?

[Jkrenzer]

55 minutes ago, spikesmike said:

5150PLB1 : Question . Were you in the military ? If so , Did your commander wear high heels to deceive his opponent ? Mike

Mike i love these pumps. Seems i remember this from a while back. You still have these. 

[5150PLB1]

4 hours ago, spikesmike said:

5150PLB1 : Question . Were you in the military ? If so , Did your commander wear high heels to deceive his opponent ? Mike

Yes I am a veteran and have served in the Persian Gulf before the Gulf wars on a destroyer. Back in the day I did have an incompetent female CO at shore duty station who did wear heels.

[p1ng74]

Perceptions change over the course of history, so we are not "stuck" with current perceptions and their rules.  I'm the kind of person that kind of enjoys breaking the rules a little, and trying to influence the change in perceptions a little, perhaps one person at a time like @mlroseplant wrote.  

[mlroseplant]

On 4/10/2021 at 8:51 PM, 5150PLB1 said:

If a military commander wishes to deceive his opponent as to his intentions, he enhances his opponent's perception of the situation and hides the reality of the situation. One of the basic tenants put forth in Sun Tzu's 'The Art of War'.

That assumes, of course, that we (or they) agree on what reality is. I do sense a certain reticence to turn this into a thought exercise, so I'll just abandon that train of thought in favor of perhaps a more helpful and productive one:

6 hours ago, p1ng74 said:

Perceptions change over the course of history, so we are not "stuck" with current perceptions and their rules.  I'm the kind of person that kind of enjoys breaking the rules a little, and trying to influence the change in perceptions a little, perhaps one person at a time like @mlroseplant wrote.  

It's probably too much to hope for, but I have noticed a change in the way people reacted to me back in 2012 compared to how they react to me now. I'm not sure that any of it is anything other than dumb luck.

[Jkrenzer]

5 hours ago, mlroseplant said:

 

It's probably too much to hope for, but I have noticed a change in the way people reacted to me back in 2012 compared to how they react to me now. I'm not sure that any of it is anything other than dumb luck.

They've become accustomed to you. It's a good place to be, I know I enjoy it.

[spikesmike]

JKrenzer : These are very nice heels . They may not look it, But they a true 5" heel on a single soul shoe . Yes I still have them and four (4) other pair just like them in different colors . Also, I still own the house where this photo was taken . Mike  This is a shoe with a platform . Easy heels for walking .

[Jkrenzer]

4 hours ago, spikesmike said:

JKrenzer : These are very nice heels . They may not look it, But they a true 5" heel on a single soul shoe . Yes I still have them and four (4) other pair just like them in different colors . Also, I still own the house where this photo was taken . Mike  This is a shoe with a platform . Easy heels for walking .

If we were the same size live tobuy a pair two from you.

[ChipsHH]

I was wondering if his fame made it to the site. Glad I wasn’t disappointed 👍🏿
 

He finally gave me the words to describe who I was, and it was on Instagram, no less.

https://www.instagram.com/tv/CQERjoEKpD-/?utm_medium=copy_link
 

I’ve been into heels since I was younger, and only in recent years have I been trying out other things in the opposite aisle. Once I saw the video, I knew that “he’s describing me perfectly” sans the wife and kids. It just gives me continued hope that I’ll find my special someone some day…

Don’t worry though. I’ll get enough therapy to confirm that I’m not completely crazy soon enough😂👍🏿