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Unhiding my heels


hiddenheels
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'Morning! It's been a while. Busy life. Been progressing in my heeling, about once a week for a few hours is all I can manage. With the warmer weather I've been focusing on mini skirts, easier to style, and still love them. They're also easier to figure out how to actually wear without interrupting the peace at home.

Skirts have become a quick favourite, I'm surprised how quick. I've lost all anxiety in wearing them out, I've gone shopping for skirts wearing skirts countless times now. Buying heels while wearing heels has still causing some anxiety interestingly. Anyway, this is not a story about anxiety.

I'm still mulling over a recent trip. Weather was good, and I got it into my head that I really want to wear one of my pumps, a 4" matte black pair. Nothing fancy, but super comfortable. Weather is too good for pants, and I was experimenting at home, trying on different skirt combinations with shoes/heels, and found one I absolutely loved. Black mini-skirt with 3-4 pleats in it, plus the 4" black pumps, plus a white shirt (in-between dress shirt and t-shirt). Loved it.

I **really** wanted to wear that. Could I? My hidden heels are not so hidden when wearing a mini-skirt. I figured I would compromise a bit first. I grabbed my 4" combat boots and 4" pumps, and headed out. First I stopped by a mall, and wore my 4" boots to test things out. Parked, walked into a near-by store I wanted to check out. I figured I'll see how this goes. Spent 20 minutes wandering and checking out some cloths. No anxiety, no stares, nothing. So I said, what the heck, and headed to the other end of the mall where I wanted to buy a specific skirt. Walked in. First employee I came across commented that she loved my shoes. I thanked her. Then spent at least 30 minutes looking at stuff, trying on a few things, and buying what I came for, plus a bit more. Then walked around the mall and got back to the car.

At this point this was my 4th (I think) compliment on my shoes *ever*. 

Thought this is going well... In the car swapped over to the pumps, and drove to a large thrift store. While I have previously sat in the car sometimes for 10-15 minutes dealing with anxiety, this time I got out and just walked in. I have never worn a skirt with pumps out before. It's obvious I'm a guy, and I'm not trying to pretend otherwise. It was sooo comfortable. I felt *good*! I walked around, checked out the shoes and the skirts. No skirts to buy this time, but noticed a pair of ankle boots in my size. The front looks like cowboy boots, interesting. Pick it up,it's a 4.5" stiletto heel, even better! Looks perfect! $30. Then I notice the $200 original sticker on the bottom! Brand spanking new. As I'm checking out the shoes, this lady stops and tells me that I walk perfectly in the heels, and how she used to wear them but not anymore. I was a little surprised, so am not sure what I responded (but it was pleasant). But two compliments in a single day, never happened.

I ended up buying the heels. The boot is super comfortable, brand new, and I just love it.

So this is why I kept my heels hidden? "this" being no reason at all. It's all in my head.

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Yes, most all of the anxiety that we feel is in our mind.  With time you do feel more comfortable and confident.  When I began wearing heels many years ago, I tended to "hide" the shoes with longish pants.  I now wear shorter gals pants - the wife calls them "my capris" - that are comfy and show off my fine looking shoes and pedicure.  

Have fun....   smile...   sf

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"Why should girls have all the fun!!"

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I wear (short) shorts all summer long. Just like with skirts, there's no hiding your heels. Expect to get many more comments like this:

7 hours ago, hiddenheels said:

As I'm checking out the shoes, this lady stops and tells me that I walk perfectly in the heels, and how she used to wear them but not anymore. I was a little surprised, so am not sure what I responded (but it was pleasant).

Respond with sympathy that she can't wear heels like she wants to or use to.  

Next time you are at the mall shopping in a skirt and heels, stop in a shoe store and go shopping. The sales staff will recognize (by your heels) that you are a real customer and not just a looky look, so you will get great service. 

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I dunno, just seems like you would have more anxiety wearing a skirt, than wearing heels.  Now, perhaps wearing both the skirt and heels pushes the anxiety up.  But, it seems like you have made amazing progress in a very short time!  Your anxiety should be decreasing with every outing and compliment!  Nonetheless, the anxiety/nervousness you are feeling is pretty normal, and we have all experienced similar feelings.  Keep up the great work buddy, sure hoping you will post some pictures, looking forward to seeing those cowboy stiletto boots!  D

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Seeing this thread definitely takes me back in time, especially the part about not knowing what to say when somebody complimented me. I would just clam up, which is really not like me. Today, I typically just smile and say, "Thank you," and leave it at that, unless it's obvious they want to talk more. Usually, they don't.

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Speaking as a guy that sometimes wears skirts I can say that skirts garner far more attention than my heels ever have. I seldom wear a skirt in public these days, but I always wear heels, & I get next to nothing in regards to compliments these days when I'm only wearing heels. Maybe its because I tend to go to the same locations & people are just not impressed by heels on a guy anymore, but I'm just not getting comped like I used to. I suppose that's a good thing, to be accepted as normal, but I really enjoy the interactions I used to get...

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  • 1 month later...

Sorry, do not like posting pics.

Not a huge number of chances to do any heeling lately, or skirts. Did do one outing a few days ago. White shirt, denim mini-skirt, and 5" heels (like in the picture, except there's a small strap on the back). Stubble on my face, obvious I'm a guy.

Mule , Free Shipping to Worldwide | FSJ

The shoes are the most comfortable heels I've worn. No problems walking in them. Bought them in a 2nd-hand store a few weeks back, but I love them. I don't feel like I'm wearing heels at all.

Anyway, planned out a small trip. Went to a 2nd-hand store to browse around. Went in. A bit nervous, could feel my heart-rate and anxiety up there. After about 5 minutes calmed down. Checked out the shoes (nothing :( ), and skirts (nothing). Am not looking for anything in particular, just for "outstandingly awesome" items, like my boots from the previous post. No one commented. Was there ~15 minutes?

Got in the car. A few days prior I noticed some really cute heels on sale at a local shoe-store, thought I would stop by the mall and see if I could buy them. This is a mall, quite busy, so the nervousness came back, but went in, went to the shoe-store, pointed out the two shoes I wanted to buy. The lady brought them out, I tried them on. Both were super comfortable, nice padding on the bottom makes a huge difference! Bought them. Went to another store to look at some cloths. Browsed around a bit. Was at the mall for an hour? Got in the car and went to another 2nd-hand store. Nothing there either. Then sat in a coffee-shop for an hour working.

Got used to the skirt and heels I was wearing. Was quite comfortable in them! The heels look "manly" and the skirt was denim, also somewhat "manly". I don't know... My original plan was another skirt and stiletto heels, but wasn't too comfortable with that, whereas I think this worked well. I had fun. No one said anything.

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4 hours ago, hiddenheels said:

Sorry, do not like posting pics.

 

Got used to the skirt and heels I was wearing. Was quite comfortable in them! The heels look "manly" and the skirt was denim, also somewhat "manly". I don't know... My original plan was another skirt and stiletto heels, but wasn't too comfortable with that, whereas I think this worked well. I had fun. No one said anything.

First of all, congratulations on your successful outing. Even without pictures, I'm sure you looked just fine. And if you didn't, I guess we'll never know, haha.

I don't really like posting pictures of myself, either, but I have gotten used to it, and now do so on a regular basis. Actually, it's not the posting  pictures that bothers me, it's the taking pictures part. I don't have a nice smile, I don't know how to pose, and I certainly can't enlist any help from my wife in that regard, not after I complained every week for years when she would drag me out to the local park to have me take pictures of her.  I am not sure what your personal objection is, but I can tell you from experience that taking photos of yourself is a very valuable learning experience if you care the least amount about how you present yourself in public. Better yet, take a video. THAT can be an eye-opening experience. And it doesn't necessarily have to do with heels or skirts or anything like that. For example, I never noticed how badly I slumped my shoulders and put my head forward when I walked. Now I know what to work on. That really has nothing to do with heels, it's more a health thing. We should stand up straight in general for better health. You may not have that problem, I'm just giving that as an example.

For the second part, it's funny how we assign certain clothes or shoes as being more radical or controversial than others, when this is probably not the case. People who are receptive to a guy in a skirt and heels are not really going to put the finery on it as to whether the guy is wearing stilettos or block heels. Same goes for people who find the idea repulsive or merely weird. They're really not going to notice the exact style of shoe or skirt. I do this all the time myself, don't get me wrong. I'm guilty of the same inner head game, but it's kind of silly.

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3 hours ago, mlroseplant said:

For the second part, it's funny how we assign certain clothes or shoes as being more radical or controversial than others, when this is probably not the case. People who are receptive to a guy in a skirt and heels are not really going to put the finery on it as to whether the guy is wearing stilettos or block heels. Same goes for people who find the idea repulsive or merely weird. They're really not going to notice the exact style of shoe or skirt. I do this all the time myself, don't get me wrong. I'm guilty of the same inner head game, but it's kind of silly.

I have the opposite experience.  There are people like my wife who tolerate the 4" cuban heels on my cowboy boots but she would throw a fit if I wore stilettos, of any height. 

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Hidden Heels, Nice sandals, (don't hide them) but that is my preferred shoe style.  Glad that you had an enjoyable time out and about.  It can be fun and invigorating.  The hesitation and nervousness does go away with experience.  It just takes time, and experience.  

Last Monday I visited my favorite shoe store to check out a sale they were having, and found a wonderful pair of sandals, even tho I do not need any more sandals, ha ha.  The shopping experience was great, the staff were great as well, just another customer shopping for ladies sandals, that happened to be a guy.  

Enjoy your time out, have fun!  smile...   sf 

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"Why should girls have all the fun!!"

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9 hours ago, hiddenheels said:

Sorry, do not like posting pics.

Not a huge number of chances to do any heeling lately, or skirts. Did do one outing a few days ago. White shirt, denim mini-skirt, and 5" heels (like in the picture, except there's a small strap on the back). Stubble on my face, obvious I'm a guy.

Mule , Free Shipping to Worldwide | FSJ

The shoes are the most comfortable heels I've worn. No problems walking in them. Bought them in a 2nd-hand store a few weeks back, but I love them. I don't feel like I'm wearing heels at all.

Anyway, planned out a small trip. Went to a 2nd-hand store to browse around. Went in. A bit nervous, could feel my heart-rate and anxiety up there. After about 5 minutes calmed down. Checked out the shoes (nothing :( ), and skirts (nothing). Am not looking for anything in particular, just for "outstandingly awesome" items, like my boots from the previous post. No one commented. Was there ~15 minutes?

Got in the car. A few days prior I noticed some really cute heels on sale at a local shoe-store, thought I would stop by the mall and see if I could buy them. This is a mall, quite busy, so the nervousness came back, but went in, went to the shoe-store, pointed out the two shoes I wanted to buy. The lady brought them out, I tried them on. Both were super comfortable, nice padding on the bottom makes a huge difference! Bought them. Went to another store to look at some cloths. Browsed around a bit. Was at the mall for an hour? Got in the car and went to another 2nd-hand store. Nothing there either. Then sat in a coffee-shop for an hour working.

Got used to the skirt and heels I was wearing. Was quite comfortable in them! The heels look "manly" and the skirt was denim, also somewhat "manly". I don't know... My original plan was another skirt and stiletto heels, but wasn't too comfortable with that, whereas I think this worked well. I had fun. No one said anything.

Sounds like a great day for sure.  It is so great when we find some nice shoes/clothes at a thrift store for sure.  No one may have said anything or complimented, but you were noticed for sure.  

56 minutes ago, p1ng74 said:

I have the opposite experience.  There are people like my wife who tolerate the 4" cuban heels on my cowboy boots but she would throw a fit if I wore stilettos, of any height. 

My better half taunts me when I just wear regular cowboy boots!

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2 hours ago, p1ng74 said:

I have the opposite experience.  There are people like my wife who tolerate the 4" cuban heels on my cowboy boots but she would throw a fit if I wore stilettos, of any height. 

Too bad, stiletto boots are great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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45 minutes ago, Shyheels said:

I like stilettos and like that I have a couple of pair. But in terms of genuine personal style - a sense of wearing something that is truly ‘me’ I prefer my block/Cuban heel boots. 

We all have our styles. Mine are stilettos. It's personal preference, for me a 5 inch thin heel placed just ahead of the back of my foot is easiest to walk in.

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14 hours ago, Shyheels said:

THats the joy of it - the freedom to have a personal preference, develop your own style. That's what is missing in men's fashion. 

Well said!

 

On 8/5/2022 at 3:06 AM, mlroseplant said:

I am not sure what your personal objection is, but I can tell you from experience that taking photos of yourself is a very valuable learning experience if you care the least amount about how you present yourself in public. Better yet, take a video. THAT can be an eye-opening experience. And it doesn't necessarily have to do with heels or skirts or anything like that. For example, I never noticed how badly I slumped my shoulders and put my head forward when I walked. Now I know what to work on. That really has nothing to do with heels, it's more a health thing. We should stand up straight in general for better health. You may not have that problem, I'm just giving that as an example.

Awesome point. I have been trying to pay attention to my posture, straight back, shoulders back, head up, show confidence. Just like anything, it's a work in progress. I can't do this with my wife, so taking videos or pictures is a bit tricky. I would love to see it, but it's a bit of a problem. I know what you mean though. 

I'll keep pushing myself. Have found that the anxiety does get better. Actually, let me rephrase. The anxiety level has gotten a bit better, but at the same time the heels have been getting more obvious! :)

On 8/5/2022 at 6:33 AM, SF said:

Hidden Heels, Nice sandals, (don't hide them) but that is my preferred shoe style.  Glad that you had an enjoyable time out and about.  It can be fun and invigorating.  The hesitation and nervousness does go away with experience.  It just takes time, and experience.  

Last Monday I visited my favorite shoe store to check out a sale they were having, and found a wonderful pair of sandals, even tho I do not need any more sandals, ha ha.  The shopping experience was great, the staff were great as well, just another customer shopping for ladies sandals, that happened to be a guy.  

Enjoy your time out, have fun!  smile...   sf 

:) Hey, I understand. I am having trouble fitting my heels into the space I've allocated them, but can't resist. They're gorgeous, and let me have some fun! So I buy them. Although the standards have been getting higher, I want more padding, more comfortable shoes, and have settled on ~4.5" as the sweet-spot.

I really wonder how frequent it is that a guy goes into a shoe store and tries on women's shoes.

 

About a year back, I recall ordering online some heels for an in-store pickup in that exact same shoe-store. I did go in wearing heels, hidden as best as possible. Compared to this most recent visit, I would say it's progress. :)

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1 hour ago, hiddenheels said:

I really wonder how frequent it is that a guy goes into a shoe store and tries on women's shoes.

It's really not that rare. I have seen another guy shopping at a Steve Madden store.

I asked this question to a boutique shoe shop manager and she told me she has about half dozen "regular" male customers.

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2 hours ago, hiddenheels said:

I really wonder how frequent it is that a guy goes into a shoe store and tries on women's shoes.

It made me smile when I saw your comment.  It may not be that frequent, but I did it last Monday and came away with a lovely pair of sandals - see my post under "who has bought some new sandals."  The Marmi Shoes boutique in SoCal, the gals there were great!  I have been told by staff that there are a lot more guys going to a shoe store the buy ladies shoes than most folks realize.    

 

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"Why should girls have all the fun!!"

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On 8/5/2022 at 11:26 AM, Cali said:

Too bad, stiletto boots are great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Sam Edelman stiletto boots with 4.5" heels are so easy to walk in and really look great.  But, I wore them so much in rugged city terrain, I wrecked one of the heels.  I'm sure glad I bought two pairs!

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