Need your help!

[loverleather]

Hello all! I’m needing some help, and I think  I can get all the advice I need here.  I’m wanting to purchase some higher quality shoes and/or boots (real genuine leather Nine West, Jessica Simpson, Franco Sarto, Vince Camuto, Calvin Klein), I have found some pairs I really like on Poshmark, The Real Real, and Tradesy, my issue is that I have large feet (men’s US 13). I have purchased several pairs of lower quality heels and boots in the past (Payless, torrid, Avenue), and found that women’s size 13 or 13W fits me, not super comfortable, but well enough that I can wear them for several hours. I also can fit into the Payless brand “Fioni” women’s size 12/12W, I have tried the Payless brand “Brash” in a 12/12W with no luck as they are too small. 

So my question is how is the fit with the higher quality shoes? Are they true to the size or do some fit smaller or larger than the actual size? I would love to just try them on, but the department stores in my area don’t carry those sizes, nor do I have the free time to go in and try on a pair. Also, as I mentioned in my introduction to the forum, my wife is not supportive of this side of me, so being discreet is a must! 

Thank you all for any and all help! Much appreciated!

[Pierre1961]

I think the best for you is to order from web sites that offer large sizes. Fuss shoes,Italian heels,estremoda from Spain,peter chu and more. They all carry large sizes up to 45/46 EU .With options for wider fit or even made on measure. The prices ranges from 150 euros to 500. I can't help with the sizes if you wish because I already bough a lot of shoes from these brands 

they deliver world wide and all are reliable. You can ask the parcels to de delivered to an hotel if you happen to travel alone 

hope it helps. 

Pierre 

[Rockpup]

Some of the higher end shoes tend to fit smaller, so you may need to go up 1/2-1 size. Also, if possible go by euro size, as that seems to be a better gauge.

[HappyinHeels]

loverleather,

You said at the start you are a US mens 13. It would seem then hard to conceive you could fit a US womens 12 as this is closer to a US mens 10.5. The best way to determine your foot size to is to measure it. Simply place a piece of paper on a flat surface with no rug or carpet and trace your foot. Measure the distance from the tip of your furthest toe to the back of your heel in centimetres. Find that closest but higher amount on a shoe guide chart found on most shoe retail sites. This is the ideal size you should be looking for based upon your actual measurements and not a worldwide system which is not standard.  I realize you have a large foot which precludes trying on shoes in most retail outlets but there are places like Nordstrom and Nordstrom Rack which have many shoe in your stated range. Nothing is better than trying them in person. Shoes are highly variable in their sizing based upon place of manufacture and system used, dark colour dyes against light coloured ones and even such a thing as what time of day you tried them owing to the body's ability to retain and redistribute water. Measuring your foot in this fashion will give the best information before ordering any shoe online and will give the best chance at success on any purchase.  A friend of mine is an independent shoe retailer in Chicago and we have learned much over the years about this very topic. His store can get sizes up to US17. Please tell us how things progress. HappyinHeels

[RonC]

As a rule, I would say the brands you mentioned tend to run on the narrower side.  The length is generally fine, but the width is usually a problem for me.

[loverleather]

I’m more worried about the length, I’m fairly positive a 13 or 13W would fit just fine, I have not yet found the courage to heel out in public yet, so I don’t need them to fit 100% no pain comfortable just enough that I can get them on and wear for 2 - 3 hours. Like I mentioned in my original post, i would love to have a pair of real genuine leather boots and/or heels, but I don’t want to purchase a pair and find out my giant feet won’t even squeeze into them. 

[Bubba136]

Take a look at Sexy shoes website.  While their shoes are Made in China ((Pleasers, etc), the prices aren’t bad and the quality quality is rather good.  Not quite on the same level as some of the higher end brands made in Europe, but they do sell larger sizes and have a bigger choice of styles.

[jetheelsfan]

My first attempt of buying heels in a store with the help of a Payless SA was just before Halloween.  I was the easiest time of the year to go shopping for a "costume." The SA was able and willing to help me try and decide if the "proper" fit was going to be a 12M, 12W, 13M, or 13W in the Brash Kosmic platform round toe pumps. With her advise and help, I felt the best was a 13M.  But one toebox is different on each separate style as she told me and fit has to be found with each individual shoe style.  It would be best if you can find that help available on your shopping experience.  She and subsequent other made it a fun experience.  Then one SA remembered me from a previous visit and began to ask some uncomfortable questions I chose not to answer and have not been out shopping since.  

[Shyheels]

Sorry to hear about your uncomfortable visit to the shoe store. Of course I wasn’t there and didn’t hear the questions, but it might have been that the sales assistant was not trying to pry but in a misguided way trying to put you at ease and be informal. Or that she had a genuine, innocent curiosity.

As to the original query in the thread, I have similar sized feet. I have a couple pair of custom made boots  from Jean Gaborit which are very nice indeed. Not cheap, but very, very nice and fit beautifully. You could also try Shoes of Prey. They make a wide variety of shoes and boots - flats or heels - in various widths and up to size 15.

[jetheelsfan]

On ‎8‎/‎23‎/‎2018 at 1:45 AM, Shyheels said:

Sorry to hear about your uncomfortable visit to the shoe store. Of course I wasn’t there and didn’t hear the questions, but it might have been that the sales assistant was not trying to pry but in a misguided way trying to put you at ease and be informal. Or that she had a genuine, innocent curiosity.

 

She had remembered me from an earlier visit the year before and wondered why I had returned.  I did not care to try to explain that I was there to try on and find a new pair I had seen on line.  It was a question I never expected and found it easiest to just leave the store.  I did not wish to cause any kind of scene nor cause her any grief.  I knew I had left a lasting impression with her after that first visit and interaction.  I was and am comfortable with my decision to just step away. 

[SF]

Jetheels....  That's cool, I don't blame ya for doing what made you feel the best.  Over the years I have had similar situations where I will go into a store shoe shopping, and interact with the staff.  Later, sometimes a year plus later, I will go to the same store and the staff will remember me.  When I ask how they remember, most all say that it was 'cause I am a guy shopping for gals shoes - not to many of us doing that I guess.  

Just yesterday I was shopping at my local Payless (love Payless) Store and the gal clerk recognized me and smiled even though I had not seen her in almost two years.  She was very helpful (then and now) in showing me some of the latest styles in my size.    Hopefully other experiences will be positive.  

Take care.....   sf

[Cali]

You have to do what you feel comfortable doing.

If you shop a store, there is a high chance a sales associate will recognize you. This can be in your benefit. The small boutique shop close to me knows I want high heels and will show me what's knew in this range. The Steve Madden store, Aldos, ...stores in the large mall know me as a person who BUYS heels. They come over and chit chat, talk heels, bring out heels for me. I feel I get better treatment from the staff than other customers get. But I also wear heels when I shop.

[nzfreestyler]

Agree with Cali here.

In my opinion go shopping for shoes wearing high heels is the way to go. No misconceptions then. Especially before the staff know you.

I openly shop for new shoes ( almost always buying shoes with heels I must confess )  as a guy buying heels, or buying flats from womens shoe stores. The staff know me, and I get emailed when new styles arrive, when they are going to have a sale or when the staff find something they think is my style and my size. I have a couple of favourite stores that I frequent.

Shopping in store means you can you try the shoe, get the right fit, try the sizes/half sizes up and down and get your heels bang on.  For me I like to see my legs in the shoes and I don't buy any shoes without checking myself out in the mirror too... (vanity I admit but its the same as clothes too)

 

I've never had any prying questions, if I was asked anything awkward I think I'd turn it back around into a question for them anyway? Not sure - but I don't fluster or get embarrassed easily anyway. In 99% of times I found it easy shopping for shoes/accessories & clothing wearing high heels .

 

[jetheelsfan]

On 8/25/2018 at 1:56 AM, SF said:

 

Just yesterday I was shopping at my local Payless (love Payless) Store and the gal clerk recognized me and smiled even though I had not seen her in almost two years.  She was very helpful (then and now) in showing me some of the latest styles in my size.    Hopefully other experiences will be positive.  

Take care.....   sf

At least your SA did not say, "Why are you here again?" 

I took her words and the tone to mean I was not welcome to shop. Glad you had a more positive interaction even 2 years later. 

[nzfreestyler]

1 hour ago, jetheelsfan said:

At least your SA did not say, "Why are you here again?" 

I took her words and the tone to mean I was not welcome to shop. Glad you had a more positive interaction even 2 years later.  

 

ohh that is rough ! I'd get right in her face, no probably not but if she was a guy I likely would. That is an unfortunate attitude she has.

I would point out to her its a free world, and I'll go to the other end of the mall, or across the way and buy oodles of shoes from her competition, and she will be the one who looses out.

 

I think if you wear heels when shopping so they can see you know your heels, that you know what what you like or don't, and you can handle yourself in high heels - by that I mean you are relaxed, enjoy them and are serious about your heels - not like taking it as a joke as most guys would have to, not apprehensive or jumpy then they'll (shop sales staff) get it - and will be very helpful. Just my ramblings from experience.

 

[SF]

Wow....  That's not very cool.  I would have sad something like, "to speak to your boss," or something similar.  PM me where the store is - or post it here - I will personally try to go there and do some shopping !!!!   

That would get her all riled up for sure !!!    

Maybe a letter to the manager as well??  A comment like that is unlike anything I have experienced at a Payless store...    smile    sf

Edited August 27, 2018 by SF
additional info ....

[Shyheels]

3 hours ago, jetheelsfan said:

At least your SA did not say, "Why are you here again?" 

I took her words and the tone to mean I was not welcome to shop. Glad you had a more positive interaction even 2 years later. 

That is unpleasant. I wouldn’t go back there either although as SF says, a sharp word with her manager would have been appropriate.

[jetheelsfan]

On 8/27/2018 at 1:59 AM, Shyheels said:

That is unpleasant. I wouldn’t go back there either although as SF says, a sharp word with her manager would have been appropriate.

It was unpleasant and kind of worse of all was that I lost interest in trying on their shoes.  I thought about trying to contact her supervisor but I chose to forgo any further interaction.  Maybe my sudden and swift exit may have made the statement and given her an "OH NO - did I say that" moment.  If I did, that was better for everyone else who followed and even her in thinking first, engage brain second and thirdly, open the mouth.

Yes, I do believe she probably would have been terminated if reported and that was something of which I would have regretted also leaving no winners and only losers.  Maybe I am the loser in this and maybe I am not in the whole scheme of things.  Not having sour grapes, their styles changed and my interest changed to enjoying what I had already acquired.

[MackyHeels]

On 8/22/2018 at 11:32 PM, jetheelsfan said:

My first attempt of buying heels in a store with the help of a Payless SA was just before Halloween.  I was the easiest time of the year to go shopping for a "costume." The SA was able and willing to help me try and decide if the "proper" fit was going to be a 12M, 12W, 13M, or 13W in the Brash Kosmic platform round toe pumps. With her advise and help, I felt the best was a 13M.  But one toebox is different on each separate style as she told me and fit has to be found with each individual shoe style.  It would be best if you can find that help available on your shopping experience.  She and subsequent other made it a fun experience.  Then one SA remembered me from a previous visit and began to ask some uncomfortable questions I chose not to answer and have not been out shopping since.  

What uncomfortable questions?

Have instincts when going shopping noticing reactions from SA when i'm browsing certain feminine items. Usually if you keep regular schedule at certain stores once a week once a month certain store employees begin to recognize me. Often i'm browsing the woman's clothing section dressed up in my feminine style bootie heels, tight jeans, short shorts etc.. This makes me stand out from her female clientele noticed by store change room clerks, assistant managers, cashiers often are front and center observing looking through clothing racks for women's wear. 

Yes, i overhear laughter, certain chatter with cashiers to one another observing me shop from a distance. Sometimes the store manager is called because certain female employees find my browsing unusual. Usually the call is a false alarm from overzealous female employee pointing me out. Once the store manager was called out walk by me after my purchase, laughing at the call request about me,  from her naive sheltered conservative employee. The store female manager smiled upon me  saying hello observing me walking out. While i decided to stop and make a comment that in men's change room has infestation of ants in last stall. She was alarmed and surprised to hear that but thanked me for the insight. Asking me to have pleasant day while smiling upon me with enjoyment of my stylish outfit without judgement.

While other times some female SA notice me walking into the store and salt face reaction upon my style and being in the female section i'm browsing. Them being certain from other SA gossip, social media pictures of myself linked to the store, observing me wearing female clothes and  purchasing past feminine items to wear.  Only one female SA i see at the store gives me friendly hello and snooping intrigue what i'm purchasing at the checkout line. Yet she recognizes me from out of store experiences thus feels she knows me best because of my bold feminine unique style. Yet i often forget her face not recognizing her at the store.

Best advice is not run away from your fears but challenge yourself with the people that maybe only intrigued with your style. You can teach them a lesson or two but at least you face any adversity without running away. 

In many respects many woman find my style too much to accept. Usually it's unspoken but reactions aren't to positive on how i observe them.

Once in Stuart Weitzman store i asked if they had any sizes in 11 or 11.5 US. SA smiled reacting to the size i mentioned either assuming such a large size must be for me or that the sizing is not what the shoe brand sells. She explained in smirky manner almost wasting her time explaining that sizes like i requested doesn't exist. While  i told her differently she didn't believe me standing away almost turning her back to me. I looked at her confused that she didn't know the brand sizing telling her go to the department store you will find exact same booties in that size. Leaving the store at her confident ignorance chuckling at myself.  

 

 

Edited August 30, 2018 by MackyHeels