My revolution started today!

[Impala]

A couple of days ago, I saw yet another woman with heels on the street, and something clicked.

I knew that if I ever want to be truly happy I must stop hiding what I love. I want to look back at my life when I'm old and say that I did what I wanted to do, and be proud of it.

This is also coupled with my (unrelated) strong anti-gender norm feelings.

I want change in society, but I realised that I would have to be that change. So I decided that I would start heeling publicly.

Today I did the first test: Going to a shoe store and try on heels for the first time, instead of internet shopping. A saleswoman saw me, smiled and left. When She passed me again I asked about her opinion. She didn't find it strange, said that everybody should wear what they want. Nobody else made a remark. A lovely reaction for the first open experience!

(You can Imagine how awesome it was to be finally able to try on all the heels they had. I even put on some long boots, and they are cool!)

 

I talked about it with my parents. They say it's up to me, and even though they have remarks they won't stop me. My mom is still uncomfortable with the idea of the whole community knowing about it, though.

 

The next part of my plan is to find some actual nice heels for me, the ones I have at home are not what I want to be seen in

Any thoughts or tips on making the first outings as smooth as possible? Thanks.

 

(PS: If you don't recognize me, my name used to be 'jorisken123')

[HappyinHeels]

Impala or jorisken123 or simply mon ami en Belgique,

You have figured it out in very short order! I believe you have realized wearing and liking heels is part of your identity and that desire will not leave you anytime soon. You have recognized to continue denying this fact will result in regret decades from now as you review your life from the rear view mirror of your septegenarian or octogenarian years (or older yet) and curse the air yelling "I should have and would have but I did not."

You obviously already have the desire to buy the shoes and probably just need ideas on what to wear with those shoes. Look at different shoe websites and see what the models have on or perhaps some members will give you ideas. Try on your outfit and look at yourself in the mirror. You do not have to look like a runway model! You only have to be pleased with what you see in that  mirror and that's it!! If you like what you see there then the confidence flowing from it will be evident as you go about your travels. Women who wear heels already know this and you should too. I often buy the shoe first and then pair something around the shoe I bought. Pumps and ankle or knee bots are always good for cooler weather such as Belgium in February. Wear snappy and clean jeans or dressy slacks with this type of footwear. when warmer weather comes around try peeptoe pumps or wedge heels with skinny or bootcut jeans and go from there. Ease into it and don't try anything too high to start. I wear heels always over 5"/12.5 cm but I an very good at finding high heels and wearing them. You have to start somewhere and your desire is the first step. SPost a photo when you have bought something.  HappyinHeels

[Thighbootguy]

2 hours ago, Impala said:

Any thoughts or tips on making the first outings as smooth as possible?

Whatever you do, do it with confidence!  Find something you like that goes with your heels, try it on and look at yourself in a full length mirror.  Do realize that it may take you a little while to get used to what you are seeing but don't go out until you are comfortable and really like the look you are presenting.  Once you can look in a mirror and say to yourself, "I really like that look... That's me!", then head on out.  Don't be afraid to look at other people with a smile.  If you show confidence, other people will recognize that and respect it.

The confidence thing is also important when talking with others (parents) about wearing heels.

2 hours ago, Impala said:

I even put on some long boots, and they are cool!

Yes they are... and easier to walk in than pumps.  They look great over jeans.

Enjoy your heels.

[MackyHeels]

Whatever you decide to wear don't look back. What i mean don't allow other opinions be focal point on what you should wear. It's a process of evolution of picking your first heels or outfit and will progress better as time goes on. You maybe excited of your first heels but years later evolve your style to what suits you best. Sometimes in life we look back saying, can't believe i wore this or that but at the time it was something you desired. 

Best to experiment with styles get your feet wet figuring in comfort and fashion nothing better then experience in wearing what you want. Good Luck.. 

[thighhighboo]

ik wens je veel succes jorisken123 met je eerste uitstap op hogehakken

[Thighbootguy]

4 hours ago, thighhighboo said:

ik wens je veel succes jorisken123 met je eerste uitstap op hogehakken

"I wish you good luck with your jorisken123 first outing in high heels" (Thank you Google)

16 hours ago, MackyHeels said:

Best to experiment with styles get your feet wet figuring in comfort and fashion nothing better then experience in wearing what you want. Good Luck..

Good advice from @MackyHeels, but I can't stress enough... Do it with Confidence.  Don't look down at your shoes, rather look out at the world and say, "Here I am".

[Steve63130]

Everyone's advice so far is good. Congratulations on deciding to take the first step. I think you should start with something conservative and build up your confidence. Go buy some bootcut jeans or pants that cover some of the heel. That will look a lot more stylish than baggy men's jeans. Confidence comes with experience and you want those experiences to be as positive as possible, so stack the odds in your favor. Practice walking in heels a lot so you're confident and competent, not clumsy and awkward. Thighbootguy's advice about looking in a full-length mirror and studying the image you see is the best advice. If you like the look you're presenting, then go out in public and strut your stuff. If something bothers you about the look, determine what it is and try something different. The best confidence builder is your knowing that you look good! And finally, you're doing this for yourself. Don't try to live your life just to please others. Please yourself. Be true to yourself. Do what's best for yourself in the long term and you can't go wrong. Keep us informed and let us know if there is anything we can do to help or provide advice. Good luck!

Steve

[pebblesf]

Great work Impala!  I admire your courage and conviction, you are doing it right buddy!

I cant add much to the good advice given so far.  Like others have said, it is only important that you wear heels that make you feel good about how you look.  Start off slow, with lower heels somewhat covered by nice fitting jeans.  Don't wear any heels publicly that you can not walk confidently in.  Try to avoid the temptation we all have to strap on 5" heels and hit the pavement!  Stumbling, or drawing too much attention to yourself when first starting out can cause big emotional set backs.....

Can't wait to hear more about your adventures!

Don 

[Sydheel]

Well done !

keep it up. Remember and you will come to realise it soon enough, is that as you walk around only 1% notice anyway. And of that only 1% care. 

james

[CAT]

6 minutes ago, Sydheel said:

Well done !

keep it up. Remember and you will come to realise it soon enough, is that as you walk around only 1% notice anyway. And of that only 1% care. 

james

I find that so true James . I have been out many times as my albums show and have only had literally 3 "WTF's". Everyone else has been nice, talks to me, asks about the shoes or boots, even takes my pictures for me.  I did start out with boot cut jeans with 35" inseams to only show a little of the 5 or 6" heels,,,,,,,, now,,,,,,

Take your time.  Enjoy yourself. Be confident. Have fun. 

[Impala]

Thanks for all the lovely reactions!

I will say I'm pretty good at walking in heels, though I haven't had the opportunity to see how well I handle long walks. I'll start with some small grocery trips.

I have no plans to start wearing 5" heels, because I literally can't. Damn you, my cursed big toes!

Has anybody had experiences with being called gay? I recently discovered I am asexual (lack of sexual orientation) so I might have an even better answer for such bigots!

 

I attached a cool pair that I found and will try soon. What do you think of them?

[Histiletto]

Hey! Malibu,

Just be the person you know you are. No one else properly can. There are always obstacles to overcome, but you can turn them into stepping stones to live life by leading/serving others to do the same. I wish this action didn't seem like a major life changer and it shouldn't be, but our programming has made it so. It is the natural right of each individual to choose their own coverings and/or adornments to present their countenance. Some how this right has been taken away as civilization developed. Now it is the traditional way things are done and it still hasn't been able to control an individual's thoughts and tastes. Society can dictate how and what it wants everyone to be, but that doesn't mean individuals will comply. Even parents who are the stewards of their children, can't always know what is in the mind of their offspring.

[MackyHeels]

7 hours ago, Impala said:

Thanks for all the lovely reactions!

I will say I'm pretty good at walking in heels, though I haven't had the opportunity to see how well I handle long walks. I'll start with some small grocery trips.

I have no plans to start wearing 5" heels, because I literally can't. Damn you, my cursed big toes!

Has anybody had experiences with being called gay? I recently discovered I am asexual (lack of sexual orientation) so I might have an even better answer for such bigots!

 

Can attest that being called or labeled gay isn't news to anyone wearing other gender clothing or shoes or appears different. Begin to accept it only because it's inevitable opinion from people who are puzzled why you wear what you do. In my case it's a  total falsehood, yet others persist on using it as a label regardless. Today i overheard in passing two males talking, one describing me in saying to the other, "he wants to be a woman". Suppose my female clothing worn and colour choice made them assume i desire being a woman.  Can't change how someone labels me or thinks. I try to embrace it using it as advantage knowing it makes others uncomfortable in close proximity around me. 

People like a simplistic answer even though they are mislead. Don't judge a book by it's cover. 

Have fun or sense of humour with people calling you gay i know i did. Woman presumed i was gay telling me so. Laughed upon her she felt  embarrassed so i piled on the stereotype after denying it was true. She felt so bad laughing at my stereotypical jokes and her assumptions.

Usually if someone labels me and i was meant to overhear just rolling my eyes and sighing or chuckling is my typical reaction. If people surrounding me notice or overhear they tend to pity me knowing it's probably is childish reaction from intolerant individuals. Often than not people hate others who criticize people unfairly who they don't know anything about them except their appearance.

Just a tip of how true it is when your outfit is fully complete or some might describe over the top. The better you appear and don't hide your heels attired well people won't bother to label you anymore or criticize. As many here attest they rarely receive complaints or negative opinions. The reason my opinion is because many are afraid of them. 

Your only recourse or vengeance against would be haters is to look great. Once you believe you look terrific then whatever reason someone puts you down doesn't matter. 

7 hours ago, Impala said:

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Sydheel]

Hey CAT

I believe you may be at the 2% mark for people noticing your heels. 

 

[CAT]

4 hours ago, Sydheel said:

Hey CAT

I believe you may be at the 2% mark for people noticing your heels. 

 

I'm hoping to get it up to 20 % soon !!!!!   All the work and thought to get some of these heels, outfits and pictures, I hope someone notices!!!!!

Thx :-))

 

[Thighbootguy]

5 hours ago, Sydheel said:

Hey CAT

I believe you may be at the 2% mark for people noticing your heels. 

 

1 hour ago, CAT said:

I'm hoping to get it up to 20 % soon !!!!!   All the work and thought to get some of these heels, outfits and pictures, I hope someone notices!!!!!

Thx :-))

@CAT here is probably the only group that don't notice your heels:

[CAT]

That's the funniest thing,,,,,. Made me laugh this am 

Thanks!!!!!

[Sydheel]

I agree cat

in the short time ive been on here i have gone from long jeans pulled down to almost scraping the floor, through my normal jeans to slimmer ones. 

Ive moved from my first almost flat heels to much higher heels 10-12cm. And now even some new colours. 

My fear (in my head) at first was. What if someone notices?  Now im past that and wear openly, and am still amazed at the number that dont notice. 

 

[Impala]

I bought the boots, they will arrive next week.

I read about people covering as much of the shoe as possible in the beginning. Why don't I just go all the way, with the entire tall shaft showing? Show I'm not afraid!

That's what I plan to do, I'll keep you updated but it's a shame to shoes will take a week to reach me...

[JeffB]

Impala: To add my two cents worth, it's important to be confident and comfortable in your own skin, regardless of what you choose to wear, and, not to care what the rest of world thinks about your attire. At the end of the day, it's only shoes which everyone wears, who cares if yours comes from the women's side of the store. When you arrive at the realization that 99% of the world shows little to no interest in what you're wearing, any concerns you might have melt away, and that's when the fun ramps up greatly. As someone who not only wears heels but skirts on my outings, I practice what I preach. Good luck to you!

[Thighbootguy]

4 hours ago, Impala said:

I bought the boots, they will arrive next week.

I read about people covering as much of the shoe as possible in the beginning. Why don't I just go all the way, with the entire tall shaft showing? Show I'm not afraid!

That's what I plan to do, I'll keep you updated but it's a shame to shoes will take a week to reach me...

Although I think you should show off the boots, my reasoning is a little different then most.  You should not try to hide your heels.  As soon as you hide them, you're admitting that you don't have the confidence in yourself to wear them (and if that is the case, don't wear them).  You have to be confident in the image you are presenting to the world.

@JeffB (as usual) offers good advice.  If you don't like the look of the boots over jeans, then wear them under the jeans, or however you think looks good.  Make sure you are happy with the look you are presenting, the go for it. And as JeffB says, "99% of the world shoes little interest in what you are wearing".  My experience echos that. (I just did an open mike performance in front of +60 folks, including some red necks, wearing knee high suede boots with 4" [almost] stiletto heels. No one even raised an eyebrow. I also managed to look each audience member in the eye as I performed.)

Wear you boots proudly however you choose (but I still recommend over jeans ).

[HappyinHeels]

TBG,

Rock stars and performers/theatre artists get a pass as this is just considered part of their creative (and perhaps) eccentric identity.

[Steve63130]

Eccentric identity is no problem for me! HA HA HA. But does my degree in geology (from way back in the Pleistocene) make me a rock star?

Steve

[HappyinHeels]

Geology majors are the original "rockheads".  I like rockhounding too and know my gneiss stones from my granite boulders. This is one thing though you cannot do in heels!       HappyinHeels

[Steve63130]

Yep, I agree with you on that! Save the heels for happy hour!

Steve

 

[Histiletto]

Just when I think something can't be done in heels, somebody is able to do it. That still doesn't mean everyone can or wants too in certain circumstances, due to personal limitations/abilities. Then again, men are not suppose to be able to or want to wear high heels according to the infallibly ideal social stereotyping. Oops! Many men seem to have been left out of this understanding when it was last revised by those socially empowered to make such determinations. Obviously, this particular concept of men seems to have been flawed, since men can be just as ardent about wearing high heels as women are known to be. This is the bases for revolution to understand that such decisions are suppose to be made at the personal level and not by any other entity. The label for such interference by others, with out that individual's approval and/or consent, has been known as bullying and enslavement. 

[Impala]

It will still take some time before my first outing.

My parents are so overly worried I might be doing something I'll regret in the future, and they forbid me to go outside before I clear up every aspect of my relation to heels (Asexuality, fetish, gender identity). Even though I don't think there's any problem, and I know who I am, they don't. I respect their feelings, so I will wait... 

At least they don't seem to mind when I walk around in heels at home. I hope my patience will be rewarded!

[Bubba136]

Get your own place and move out.  Then, the situation will no longer exist.

[Impala]

4 hours ago, mwhh said:

Get your own place and move out.  Then, the situation will no longer exist.

Not a possibility. Still 3 years to go studying music production, and I've got my home studio set up at home.

I will move out someday, and then I will be on my own for a loooong time, so I guess I better enjoy the company (and cooking/cleaning of my parents) while it lasts

Why is there such a long waiting time for sexologists...

[Thighbootguy]

On 3/2/2016 at 8:39 AM, Impala said:

It will still take some time before my first outing.

My parents are so overly worried I might be doing something I'll regret in the future, and they forbid me to go outside before I clear up every aspect of my relation to heels (Asexuality, fetish, gender identity). Even though I don't think there's any problem, and I know who I am, they don't. I respect their feelings, so I will wait... 

At least they don't seem to mind when I walk around in heels at home. I hope my patience will be rewarded!

 

18 hours ago, Impala said:

Not a possibility. Still 3 years to go studying music production, and I've got my home studio set up at home.

I will move out someday, and then I will be on my own for a loooong time, so I guess I better enjoy the company (and cooking/cleaning of my parents) while it lasts

Why is there such a long waiting time for sexologists...

Music production, when done well, is a very demanding activity that requires all the creativity you can muster, and having a home studio is a real resource.   My feminine side (the side that likes to wear heels) is also my most creative side and if that is the same with you, take advantage of it.  I suggest having a really nice pair of heeled boots for studio wear.  It seems that might address the issues of only wearing heels at home, and cranking up your creative side (as well as keeping your feet warm and comfortable).

 

Something like these boots under the keyboard: