Help On Buying And Hiding Heels

[BTBAIHeels]

I have actually found a pair of 6.25 inch heels! (picture down below) And since I have started working and earning money, I can afford things now. The problem is, I cant buy them yet. But only because I have no way of hiding the package. I can cover the money transaction through gift cards, but when they arrive, how can I get it without my parents seeing?

I'll take any possible solutions.

Thanks,

 Preston

[Thighbootguy]

I don't have an immediate solution to your stated problem.  However the problem would go away if your parents knew you liked heels.  It might be an easier conversation if you started with a less audacious pair of heels (and easier for you to learn to walk in). 

 

My advice is to first go to the top of this page and type "parents" in the search box.  There have been a lot of discussions here about parents and heels.

[pebblesf]

Dear Preston-

Boy, we all know what a difficult stage you are at with your interest in wearing heels.  And, although TBG's advice is best, I surely was not able to follow it years ago, and never would have been able to tell my parents about my interest in women's boots when I was living at home either. 

Is there anyone in your life that you would feel comfortable talking about your interest in heels?  Having someone you trust to confide in will make you feel so much better, and might give you some confidence which is so important.  In any event, we are all here to listen, and offer advice.

OK, back to your immediate problem.  How to purchase or get some heels to try out.  Well, have you tried visiting some thrift shops?  Buying heels, instead of mail ordering them, will solve the problem of boxes arriving in the mail.  I know, going into a thrift shop, browsing through women's shoes probably seems like an impossible task.  But, trust us, you won't attract attention in a thrift shop like Salvation Army or Goodwill.  Afraid to try the shoes on in the thrift shop?  I get that too.  Figure out what size you wear (your current men's size plus 2=the size you should look for in women's footwear), then you can simply look at the sizes at buy the shoes without trying them on.  If they don't fit right, big deal, $5-10 lost isn't going to break you.  Keep in mind that shoe sizes vary, so even ordering the "correct size" show online might result in a poor fit, which would involve more packages/mailing etc.   

If you feel strongly about purchasing new heels online, perhaps you could purchase a PO box, so you will have control over picking up the packages.

Please keep this line of communication open with us, and give some thought to a trusted firend/family member that you can confide in.

Don

[Thighbootguy]

Preston -

Don also has great advice.  The only caution about a PO box is that some vendors won't ship to a PO box.  Check with the vendor.

Unless your a bigfoot (larger than women's 10) like many of us, thrift shops are a good source of heels (and some really high ones).  When a lot of women give up on high heels they give them away.  Another great place is Payless (search for "Payless" above.  I've seen nothing but good references and shopping experiences.).  I shop at both places.  None of these places care if you try on shoes, especially if you buy something.  You won't be the first (or last) guy that tries on heels in their shop.  It is very important that you get shoes that fit comfortably.  You shouldn't have to squeeze your foot into a shoe, nor should it fall off your foot.  A reasonable estimate for women's shoes is male size plus 2 for closed tor shoes/boots and male size plus 1 for open toe and sandals.  For long time wearing, leave room for a cushioned insole.

Do consider trying boots with a block heel.  They can more easily be worn without the stigma of heels and they are generally easier to walk in than pumps, especially for a beginner.  I love wearing stiletto heels (I've been wearing them for +10 years) but I advise working your way into them.  Get the high part of the heels first then go for the narrow part.

One last note: Parents are generally real good at knowing whats going on.  It may take a little while for them to catch on but they will.  It's always good to be out in front of an issue before it becomes a problem.  As Mark Twain said, "When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years."

 

 

I was just looking at some of your previous posts and it looks like you are a little farther along that Don or I thought.

 

 

What did I finally do you may ask. Well, I finally dropped the bomb shell on my BEST FRIENDS!! Yes, he now knows about me and my liking for high heels, and he's totally cool with it! I even found out, if he had the opportunity, that he would also wear heels. Today has been a great day ending at -14 degrees F. signing off,
BTBA

 

 

Thanks Larry, Bikergoth, and Steve! It took a while for me to tell just that friend, and now I'm thinking of telling my female friend also when school gets back in session. But of course, I will probably wait till I'm on my own to tell my parents about this. Thanks again!

Preston

 

Let us know how it goes.

TBG

 

[pebblesf]

Preston

Great news, you are farther along than I had thought.  And yes, TBG raises an excellent point, forgot about the shipping to a PO box thing.  And of course, give yourself a chance for success with block heels first, don't expect miracles the first time in 5" stilettos.  Sounds like you have some great friends to talk about, and enjoy your heeling interests with. 

Good for you buddy, enjoy yourself.

D

[Lvemadomina]

This was the most nerve racking question I had for myself when I bought my first heels...

Also are those Bumper Elle-10's? Cause I've been looking at those for a while!

 

Anyways, I could suggest ordering them and hoping they arrive if there's a day that you're home by yourself. But those chances are VERY unlikely unless you're home alone a lot. I've been lucky to have that happen only once. Do your parents respect your privacy at all? They might just put the package in your room or something and not even bat an eye, but I don't know with that option because I'm not your parents haha. That usually only works if you order a lot of stuff online.

 

The last thing I can think of really is if you're ordering from a site that isn't restricted to female customers (Like amazon or something) is you can order the shoes and something that you like as well. The +is sometimes, especially with amazon, you can try to coordinate the order so that they put it all in one package. So if your parents ask you, you just say "Oh I got a new shirt, but I don't why they put it in such a large package" The -is that you have to spend more money

 

Also don't forget if you do order them though, go 2 sizes up for Women's US! I know a couple people mentioned that already but seriously, that's another thing that sucks, is getting a size that doesn't fit

 

If you have any questions, you have my Pinterest

[Guest]

My first pair I ever bought was from a shoe store in my small town. I will never forget how scared I was, well maybe, I have forgotten a lot. I played guitar when I was young and I always left my guitar on the stand so I hid the shoes in the guitar case.

My dad came home for lunch one day and caught me in a pair of heels. That was actually the second time. The first time I fell asleep in a pair of candies mules, (that was really my first pair of heels that I stole from my friends mom. Yes I am ashamed but where else does a 13 yr old get heels). Wouldn't you know it I slept like a rock and did not move once.

Nothing was really discussed from what I can remember. It did come back up when I was in the military. They were worried I would get in trouble if the military caught me in heels. Which they did.

Was drunk one night and it was very late. So I put on my white pumps and went out walking around. It was like 2 or 3am. I saw some car lights so I ducked into this racket ball court. Sure enough the MP'S came in and found me. They asked what I was doing and once they saw the heels they new. I think they got a good laugh and then told me to go home.

That reminds me of another time my dad caught me. Same mules. I went from a walk late at night. Sure enough here comes my dad walking down the street wanting to know what I was doing.

Same shoes another midnight walk. Saw a guy walking down the street so I decided to duck behind a guys house that I new. Turned out to be him.

Sorry. Not much help on what to do about ordering shoes. You may just have to confide in someone at a shoe store and see if you can have them shipped there.

The chunky heels are good advice. I wear chunky heel boots of some sort every day.

I know, the pumps and sandals look so much better. That's the way it was for me. But I found I can wear boots everyday. Now I don't spend the money on anything I won't wear in public.

Good luck. Be prepared they will find out.

[hh4evr1]

You could take a bag (rucksack etc)with you and go to a shop and buy a pair. Put them in the bag and go home. I often have a bag with me when I go to work (for my lunch etc) or am shopping) if I happen to find a nice pair of heels to buy I can put them in the bag.

Check delivery time schedules and plan when to order so they arrive when only you are at home to receive the delivery. Next day delivery is often available, but check the cutoff time for orders to ensure the delivery happens on the right day.

Have a friend/family member receive the parcel at their house. Possibly a neighbour.

[BTBAIHeels]

_{Don, TBG, Lvemadomina,I}

_{Thanks for the help! I am BUYING my first pair, but it is not the first pair of heels I have worn. My mom actually has around the same foot size as me, so I already know, I can fit into a 10/11. Her shoes are pumps with a 5 inch heel I inch platform. I have been wearing her heels since about 6th grade (now in 10th grade) How ever I would not call myself an armature yet since I have only had 3-4 pairs of shoes to walk in.}

 

_{I do have a problem with getting a PO box however, since they are expensive in my area. But I will try to go store shopping soon, as soon as I can get a car.}

_{Thanks again,}

_Preston

[crotchhiboots]

When you order them request tracking information so when get it you can be home when the package gets there.

[Guest]

Yea your kinda screwed.

Your best bet as someone else said is to maybe order something from someplace like amazon and also order heels at the same time. That way you have an explanation for the box. But I would tell your parents before you order it so it's not a surprise.

You might even go to zappos and just order some tennis shoes and get the heels at the same time. Box will be kinda big for 1 pair of shoes though.

[BootBoy42]

I recently ordered boots to a ups store. 

[SF]

Preston, I have had an attraction to gals shoes since I was a pre teen.  I had similar dilemmas as you seem to now have.  One solution - but it took a while - was to go away to school, where I was free to wear / buy any type of shoes that I wanted.  I remember the first time I really ever wore gals shoes in public was to class and no one seemed to even care.  My roommates saw me in gals shoes (mostly flat sandals) all the time and never said anything either.  

I was in the "hiding" mode when at home, and got "caught" a few times which was no fun, but my folks were understanding.  Still I did not wear gals shoes around them, but eventually did later.  

Maybe just tell your folks?  Sometimes simply being up front is the best solution.  Have fun sf

[Cl0setheels]

Don't have a (female) friend where you can get them delivered? Thats how I did things at first. Or just order them and have an excuse ready. Ones I have used are:

- They are a gift for a friend.

- I have asked in advanced if a friend can have something delivered at out place since it's a surprise for her sister.

- I picked them up for a friend and i'll take them next time i'll visit there.

[Guest]

Oh. I like the second one.

When my dad caught me with the ones on in bed I told him they were my friends mom's and I was fixing a strap. Don't think he bought it.

[Rick24]

we if you need to buy new trainers or work shoes, go to mall or another place,then put them in a sports bag and hide them in your room, then order your heels and when they are at your house, open up the plastic bag,and take the heels and the box and hide them for now, and put the mens shoes in the plastic bag that had the heels and its box in it, make sure the details are out of the bag as well, and burn them, then say that the details are on your pc, but you wiped it last night, put the high heel box in a trash bin that is far, far away from your home,

[Steve63130]

Parents are loving (mostly) and they were children once themselves, so they're "experienced." They're also not stupid (usually). This is the best advice: Tell them the truth! Tell them you love women's shoes and decided you wanted to try wearing them to see what it was like, so you bought a pair (with your OWN money). You want to wear them around the house, if that's ok with them. Make sure you tell them about this web site and let them know you're not the only guy in the world who likes wearing women's shoes. If you can, start with something that is unisex or not too feminine, like clogs, sandals, or loafers with a block heel. They will ask questions, like "are you gay?" or "are you transgender?" You tell them the truth. It sounds difficult and it probably is, but once you're past that hurdle, you will have the freedom to wear heels (if they're ok with it) but if not, at least you've opened up to them, entrusted them with your "secret" and if you decide to buy more heels later, you won't have to hide your stash. You will be glad you have the freedom from fear and "getting caught." And your parents will be very glad and relieved that you're being totally honest with them and not hiding anything. No matter how good your hiding place is, sooner or later you'll get caught. Explaining this situation then will be a thousand times harder and more embarrassing than being up front. Good luck!

 

Steve

[bluejay]

I'll echo Steve's comments. Good luck in your heeling. I hope you get to enjoy wearing heels, just like the rest of us, here do.

 

Happy Heeling,

bluejay

[Rick24]

in truth it is none of my parents business, its my own life, and have had to live buy their ways for a long time, life is short in your youth,

[Thighbootguy]

in truth it is none of my parents business, its my own life, and have had to live buy their ways for a long time, life is short in your youth,

  I believe Steve's advice was addressed to Preston, who is a very young man still living at home, and I think the advice is spot on.

 

Rick24, if you are still under the control of your parents at your age, there is a whole different problem.  Having said that, I'll add that most parents really do care about their children and try their best to be a positive force in their children's development.  But like you said, "Its my own life".  Most parents won't do something to hurt their children.  It seems to me that the children should reciprocate.  After all life is even shorter when you're older.

[BTBAIHeels]

Hey all,

I really like the feed back, it is as if I'm listen to a counselor. Steve and TBG, thanks the most! The only thing about thing about telling my parents is, how do I go about doing it or tell them?

Thanks always,

Preston

[Thighbootguy]

Hey all,

I really like the feed back, it is as if I'm listen to a counselor. Steve and TBG, thanks the most! The only thing about thing about telling my parents is, how do I go about doing it or tell them?

Thanks always,

Preston

Like I said before, type in "parents" in the search block at the top right of the page (use the dropdown and go to the advanced search which will search the entire board).  There are lots of posts on telling parents.  But remember you know your folks better than anyone on this board so take the advice for what it is, "advice from the internet (so it has to be right)".  As my 102 year old aunt used to say, "Quality work takes time".  Jumping right in with 5" stilettos may not be the best approach.

 

TBG

[BTBAIHeels]

Hi all,

I thought this through. I'm looking at a pair of J.C. Litas, would that be a better choice since they are more of a block type heel?

Thanks,

Preston

[Thighbootguy]

Hi all,

I thought this through. I'm looking at a pair of J.C. Litas, would that be a better choice since they are more of a block type heel?

Thanks,

Preston

black litas.PNG

 

Yep.   Probably take a lot less explaining, especially when worn with jeans.

[Cl0setheels]

And they are awesome to wear!

[Heelster]

Hi all,

I thought this through. I'm looking at a pair of J.C. Litas, would that be a better choice since they are more of a block type heel?

Thanks,

Preston

black litas.PNG

 

 

I would have to agree with the others that the J.C. Litas would be an awesome choice. The tend to be less feminine which may help your cause at this point. Boots in general may be the way to go initially. Most don't notice.

 

Your profile say's your in Colorado. Are you close to any malls or shopping centers where you may be able to look at shoes? Keep in mind most retailers have a return policy so you could buy something locally, and if they don't fit , you can return them (make sure your fully aware of their policies) Places like DSW, Hot Topic, and Journeys may be possible places to look, and cater to male and female, so your not likely to seem obvious. Even Kohl's, JC Penney and Target are possible outlets for you.

 

Oh - - - What about some womens western designs.

[Rob]

Hi all,

I thought this through. I'm looking at a pair of J.C. Litas, would that be a better choice since they are more of a block type heel?

Thanks,

Preston

black litas.PNG

JC does actually manufacture a "Mens version" (exactly the same boot, but in larger sizes) so you can confidently tell them that it is a men's style:

http://www.solestruck.com/first-by-jeffrey-campbell-lita-mens-black-distressed/index.html

Google image search "jeffrey campbell lita man" to see some guys wearing them. And also here:

http://www.jeffreycampbellshoes.com/lookbook/the-damned/

You could point to these pictures to show that there is nothing wrong with a guy wearing these Lita's.

PS: you may need to up your fashion game to pull off the look.

[BTBAIHeels]

I would have to agree with the others that the J.C. Litas would be an awesome choice. The tend to be less feminine which may help your cause at this point. Boots in general may be the way to go initially. Most don't notice.

 

Your profile say's your in Colorado. Are you close to any malls or shopping centers where you may be able to look at shoes? Keep in mind most retailers have a return policy so you could buy something locally, and if they don't fit , you can return them (make sure your fully aware of their policies) Places like DSW, Hot Topic, and Journeys may be possible places to look, and cater to male and female, so your not likely to seem obvious. Even Kohl's, JC Penney and Target are possible outlets for you.

 

Oh - - - What about some womens western designs.

Heelster,

Oh am I ever! I am near the Park Meadows Mall, and close to that is DSW and Nordstrom Rack. Inside the mall is the BIG brand stores like Macys, Dillards, and JC Pennys. Also inside the store, there is Forever 21, Hot topic, Journeys, and more. If none of that can work, I can always go to Plato's Closet or Kohls. As of the western design, I don't like it as much.

 

 

JC does actually manufacture a "Mens version" (exactly the same boot, but in larger sizes) so you can confidently tell them that it is a men's style:

http://www.solestruck.com/first-by-jeffrey-campbell-lita-mens-black-distressed/index.html

Google image search "jeffrey campbell lita man" to see some guys wearing them. And also here:

http://www.jeffreycampbellshoes.com/lookbook/the-damned/

You could point to these pictures to show that there is nothing wrong with a guy wearing these Lita's.

PS: you may need to up your fashion game to pull off the look.

Rob,

Thank you so much for the links! Unfortunatly, I don't have an extra $200 to spend, so im basically going for the cheaper option. And thanks to my mom, I can fit into a 10.5 shoe size, but ill round up to a 11.

[Heelster]

I Know where that mall is, but it's been years since I was there - - 

 

You should have lots of options to select from.

 

Platos Closet = = great option

DSW - look at the clearance racks in your size

 

Good luck

[BTBAIHeels]

Really?? Wow, I would have never known. It hasn't really changed much from the past years other than folies to macys, and more outer buildings.

Overall, I do have many options, and I'm grateful for it.

Thanks again,

Preston