Anyone Too Scared To Wear Heels Outside?

[Curt]

Just wondering what the percentages are. I used to be afraid, but not anymore. I want to be true to myself. Wearing heels are nice clothes gives me confidence to be the best I can be. Just because they are labeled womens shoes, doesn't mean guys would be sick wearing them. There are guys strutting the catwalks in paris in pumps, so there are people in the fashion industry are trying to lessen the gender gaps. I like to think that this site has helped me to be the person I want to be.

[pebblesf]

Hmmm, kinda of a difficult question to answer with a yes/no... I guess I am somewhere in between. I am thrilled to have developed enough courage/confidence to wear my 4" boots publicly with no real fear. BUT, they are fairly well hidden under my jeans. I need to keep working on my heeling skills/confidence/attitude so I can wear a decent pair of 5" boots over my jeans publicly with the same courage and confidence...So, I would describe myself as a "work in progress"...Don

[Steve63130]

Don, good answer. I think most of us who wear or want to wear heels in public are a work in progress. There are always new goals to achieve, new shoes to try, new heel heights to master, friends to introduce to our hobby, spouses or significant others to tell, and so on. The challenges are along an entire spectrum of achievement, and we are all somewhere on that spectrum trying to make heeling a regular thing that guys do. Steve

[Dr. Shoe]

Not me.

[Logjam]

For now anyway, I'm in the "not ready to venture out" camp. Maybe later... Logjam

[krazyhusband]

I guess im not scared, but more nervous. I usually wear longer jeans to.cover the heel, but lately, i have been wearing straight cut jeans instead of boot cut, so people can see more of the toe of the shoes. I usually wear hels with a rubber sole and heel, so its very very quiet while I walk. The last couple of adventures, I wore a wedge pump, regular sounding heel,not too many people noticed.

[loquito]

i am with krazyhusband, i am scared of the sound because it attracts lots of attention, currently i am working on my confidence . walking outside, during the day everywhere i can , i am wearing a wedge bootie with a 31/2 heel, very quiet when i walk and so far no one seems to care i tend to think is more the sound, and how high is it that makes your feet look shorter. i guess with time i wont care anymore .

[Pumped]

Scared? Nope! I have just made a decision that it is not worth the risk. I don't think my close friends would have an issue, but I am certain my work associates would an I can not afford to take the chance.

[w6ish]

we're all going to die boys. get busy with the living, high heels included.

[Pumped]

we're all going to die boys. get busy with the living, high heels included.

Maybe you have a profession that is easy to replace, or work some where that the unusual is easily accepted, but not here. Once I had a nice pair of men's Itailian dress shoes with a cuban heel, nothing crazy compared to what people wear on this site and I got a load of grief about them from many people, "What are those? woman's shoes??".

This area is sooo extremely conservative and boring when it comes to clothing. My wife and I will dress up a bit to go out Friday night and we will be the only ones there not wearing tennis shoes and jeans. A man wearing heels? Ha!

As for living, I do plenty other things that many here would find stange, so pick your battle, or poison.

[w6ish]

"Maybe you have a profession that is easy to replace, or work some where that the unusual..." Keep up the good work!

[jerbare]

I just spent the night at a local micro brewery. with 5" platforms and no one noticed so just go for it.

[LuvyourShoes]

I think the majority of my fear has finally subsided. I walked through the airport with 4 1/2" stilletto booties on (Christian Siriano) this past weekend. For the first time, I felt really natural and unnerved. I just walked, conducted my rental car procedures, picked up the car and drove off... all in the heels!! 30 Minutes in Heels in public! A new record!!! It truly was awesome. I really feel hindered while wearing flat shoes at times. I love the high feeling I get in heels (all fun with the pun!) And Im getting more addicted to the feeling every outing!

[SleekHeels]

That sounds like a great 30 minutes and a memory you'll always cherish. Wishing you many more.

[LuvyourShoes]

thanks SleekHeels

[ilikekicks]

Me? Not at all. I can say Ive been before over 1000 people ( rough door-count was closer to 1200 ) in the ' spotlights ' and it didnt phase me. Its all in our minds.

[Dr. Shoe]

Scared? Nope! I have just made a decision that it is not worth the risk. I don't think my close friends would have an issue, but I am certain my work associates would an I can not afford to take the chance.

OK, I can accept that there are some jobs where you might be taking a risk with your employment by being seen in heels. A school teacher might if a parent were to complain to the board of governors and perhaps a parish priest if a member of the congregation were to make a fuss. Beyond that I cannot think of any profession where you would actually lose your job because of heeling. I can also accept that colleagues in a male dominated, macho work environment may make things difficult at work.

However, it is your choice whether you wear heels in public or not, no one's going to put a gun to your head and force you to do it. If you want to, do it. If not, don't.

I once saw a little piece on a TG site that dealt with what many would consider "excuses":

"My neighbours won't like it." OK, move.

"I would lose my job." OK, get a different job.

"My wife or girlfriend won't let me." Have you asked her yet?

"I would be recognised." So go to another town.

I am not one to force people to wear heels when they're uncomfortable in doing so but I would encourage people because I can remember (just) the first few times I did it and you cannot describe the feeling.

[CassieJ]

Dr.Shoe, I think it is more than just getting fired. Many of us are in professions in which we would like to move up and gain raises and promotions. Even without any official policy against 'being different,' you have to admit that people will judge you differently in many cases. You can be passed over for promotions and even have your credibility questioned over things that really have nothing to do with your abilities or performance. A few people at my work know about my heels but I do not wear them at work nor would I tell many of my co-workers. It is not because I really care what they think or would say, but because they can affect my job in negative ways. Like it or not, most people are not 'live and let live' but want to put people into neat little boxes. Step outside the box, or get placed in the wrong box, and your career can stagnate or end.

[hhboots]

... Even without any official policy against 'being different,' you have to admit that people will judge you differently in many cases. You can be passed over for promotions and even have your credibility questioned over things that really have nothing to do with your abilities or performance. ... Like it or not, most people are not 'live and let live' but want to put people into neat little boxes. Step outside the box, or get placed in the wrong box, and your career can stagnate or end.

Totally agree with your words and I think this is exactly why I keep this part of me completely seperate from my workplace. I could probably get away with it and not have any immediate impact to my position, but I feel pretty certain it would cause some negative effects in the long run as positions and managers change around my office every couple of years, it could put a serious cloud around my chances to move up.

[Logjam]

CassieJ and hhboots, I agree completely. In my case at least, there is the added matter, even when away from work, of bumping into customers, contractors, etc. who may not see things as I do. Get a few hundred miles away, and I'd be willing to chance being out and about with heels, painted toenails, earring or earrings, etc. Logjam

[ilikekicks]

I think Im starting to understand a lot about ' people ' in general from this conversation.

Dr.Shoe,

I think it is more than just getting fired. Many of us are in professions in which we would like to move up and gain raises and promotions. Even without any official policy against 'being different,' you have to admit that people will judge you differently in many cases. You can be passed over for promotions and even have your credibility questioned over things that really have nothing to do with your abilities or performance.

What if the person doing the promotion just doesnt like the way we smile? Or if we have an accent? What if they like someone whom is taller or shorter?

For the promotion, all they really need to say to justify it ( legally ) is ' I believe I chose the best person ' and thats the final verdict.

A few people at my work know about my heels but I do not wear them at work nor would I tell many of my co-workers. It is not because I really care what they think or would say, but because they can affect my job in negative ways. Like it or not, most people are not 'live and let live' but want to put people into neat little boxes. Step outside the box, or get placed in the wrong box, and your career can stagnate or end.

Career? .. Liberties or self choice as well. Hear me out on this one folks before judging what I have said thus far.

I can understand that we all have ' interests to protect '. As a former business owner, I know all about it and probably moreso then just the ' average worker with a paycheck '. There are many things we do every day that can have detrimental effects on our employment or our prospects.

What I dont understand and really dont wish to is the FEAR people have. Im not going to make comparisons to past things/events but I need to ask : Are things really THAT BAD that a choice of footware can dominate your thoughts and make a person cower/become that negative? Are people so highly afraid to be themselves that they will fall in line and conform out of some worry of something that may not even happen?

For the most part, I believe I have lived quite a ' Free ' life. Outside of the few years I gave service to my country, Ive made some good and bad choices on my own. The good/bad ratio or perspective is probably balanced out as Im still alive, I eat everyday and have a roof over my head.

I dont understand how humanity can keep going along with people whom are so ' scared '. Its not like its the 80's and the US and USSR have enough nukes pointed all over the planet to waste us all.

Im going to ' shine ' some people right now, I hope they dont mind my mention of them. If they do, TOO DAMN BAD!

JeffB.

Ive recently come to a small conversation with him. His messages on the bottom read something about ' I dont want to be a woman , I just want to dress like one ' or something to that effect. His 200+ page adventure/outings thread speaks in volumes. I have no clue what he does for a living..

Shafted.

Hes an oddball of sorts, likes those scarves and fringe boots. Hes from somewhere in the NorthEast US.. He works in the entertainment industry in some way ( never asked the specifics, they dont matter ). I do know he does his own thing every sunday morning at a local McD's with the paper. Gets a coffee or something and just hangs out..

Dr.Shoe.

Im going to say ' She ' has gone on her own path. One many of us would NEVER have the stones to even get started on. Shes from somewhere in the U.K. , works with horses or something..

RockPup.

Hes some gay dude from Florida whom likes/loves guns. Hes quite into the laws and such behind them.. What he does for a living, I have no clue.. dont need to.. doesnt matter, hes just a damn good guy.

Me?

as I have stated before, I used to own a business. Im on what Im going to call ' medical retirement ' for the time being. Ill be on it for a while ( about 6 months THIS time ). I know what I used to do ( take out walls in houses and rebuild them ). Ive dug holes for sewer lines ( was a shitty job I tell ya! ), put on a few roofs, did some masonry work, tile work, electrical.. None of it really matters for what Im going to say..

What we do have is a group of individuals whom probably ( more then likely ) dont work in the same profession or anything related to each other. We have all sorts of different ' sexuality's ', ' Races ' , ' Genders ', Localities across a pretty good area.. Yet we all have only 1 real thing in common.

We all have ' fears '. We are all afraid of something, but what we are afraid of is on individual levels/ideals. Im afraid of nukes. What the others are afraid of.. I have no idea. Its not of my concern. What I would HOPE for, in most of us, is that the thing we arent afraid of are *ourselves*.

When I hired the 3 guys I had working for me, there was very simple criteria they had to meet : Honesty and Integrity.

I really didnt care what they wore as it was going to get destroyed over the workday anyway.

In the economic reality of today, I dont think employers have a high worry about whom we sleep with. I dont think they care what we wear so long as it isnt a liability. To some extent, I dont think they care what language we speak so long as we can successfully communicate and relay along the information to make a business successful. Theres no room to NOT promote the best they have!

w6ish stated "we're all going to die boys. get busy with the living, high heels included. ". Hes absolutely correct.

Im not looking for ANY form of sympathy, blessings or prayers, but Im on my second bout with some pretty bad ' mojo '. I thought the first bout was bad and stated I wasnt going to do the ' second time ' but someone special to me asked me to give it a go. Im glad I took her plea and things are getting MUCH better for myself.

This time around though, I did a LOT of thinking and I do have quite a perspective to offer.

Do you think your ' boss ' is important? How about the Tax Collector? How about that sniveling little pain in the arse brother/sister? What about that aunt or uncle that always destroys family gatherings/events with their petty drama? Better yet, what about the idiot from the Office/Job whom has nothing better to do then complain about everyone else and everything in between? What about those people whom others fear will judge them wrongly for a promotion or a raise or something because they look different or might wear a odd piece of clothing..

Do any of you really believe that kind of stuff ' matters ' when all is said and done?

What really matters is when you can look back and say ' Did I *live* my life? Did I forfill my happiness to the fullest extent that I could and in the process did I help set a tone of happiness for others? Did I actually enjoy what I believed were good things and actually disdain things I didnt care for OR did I actually appreciate it all? '

I appreciate every morning I wake up. It only grows from there. The only ' fear ' is the type I allow to exist for myself. The only fear YOU as individuals have are the ones you create for yourselves.

Regards,

-Ilk.

[Steve63130]

Dr. Shoe: You quoted: "I would lose my job." OK, get a different job. I did that in 1998. I took over a family hosiery company and started selling unique hosiery products for men (www.activskin.com). I wear what I want to the office and my staff is ok with it. It's the best thing I ever did in my career. So your advice is excellent! Steve

[Logjam]

ILK, Very well said, and darned hard to argue! Regards, Logjam

[Pumped]

OK, I can accept that there are some jobs where you might be taking a risk with your employment by being seen in heels. ................ Beyond that I cannot think of any profession where you would actually lose your job because of heeling. I can also accept that colleagues in a male dominated, macho work environment may make things difficult at work.

However, it is your choice whether you wear heels in public or not, no one's going to put a gun to your head and force you to do it. If you want to, do it. If not, don't..

You hit the nail right on the head. I work in sales, selling to companies in the construction business. Male dominated? About 99% male would be a safe guess! My credibility would drop like a rock if someone witnessed my heeling and the word got out.

Others here have commented on changing jobs so one can heel. In my case it is setting priorities. Working a job I enjoy, at pay that is darned good to say the least, for a company where my employers are some where between awesome and freaking fantastic to work for is far more important to me than wearing heels outside.

[Guest IronCross]

Others here have commented on changing jobs so one can heel. In my case it is setting priorities. Working a job I enjoy, at pay that is darned good to say the least, for a company where my employers are some where between awesome and freaking fantastic to work for is far more important to me than wearing heels outside.

That's great. I firmly believe that everyone has to do what works for them to be happy.

[ilikekicks]

You hit the nail right on the head. I work in sales, selling to companies in the construction business. Male dominated? About 99% male would be a safe guess! My credibility would drop like a rock if someone witnessed my heeling and the word got out.

I would say more then ' male dominated '. Reflecting back, I cannot think of a single female GC or Sub. I think the ONLY woman I ever worked with drove a cement truck and from the remembered looks of her, and her beard, I dont think she knew much of anything about ' high heels '. Maybe it wasnt a beard but chewing tobaco drip/saliva? She was NASTY!

I do know theres a LOT of ballbusting and all the ' guys ' are of the want-to-be ' alpha male ' types.

But..

Others here have commented on changing jobs so one can heel. In my case it is setting priorities. Working a job I enjoy, at pay that is darned good to say the least, for a company where my employers are some where between awesome and freaking fantastic to work for is far more important to me than wearing heels outside.

The joke in my area was that I was a ' flaming faggot ' but NOBODY could match my crews work. They laughed that for my crew I hired a convict, a young ' nigger ' and that If I answered the phone it might be in spanish or ' jewish ' ( dumb asses didnt even know that Hebrew is the language of Jews.. ).

Regardless of the mocking, we came HIGHLY requested. My phone STILL rings with GC's in my area calling to see if I can finish off jobs for them and when they find out Im out of commission for a while, they ask a date when I will be available. Heels and ball-busting aside.

Theres respect for the work and quality one does, then respect for someones person. They are 2 different things.

Im sure theres many outfits in your area you have had to follow up or clean-up after. Im sure theres places where owners have tossed out the previous crew/company for shoddy work and you have had to ' fix ' everything they have done.

Its not about the people, its about the work.

Wearing heels doesnt make one a worse off equipment operator, carpenter, plumber, painter, mason..

[Gudulitooo]

I think like CassieJ and Pumped. Not that alpha male rules the world. But at work there are highs and lows. when you are in a low, you need to present your best side. Merging companies is the industry fashion here. I mean, even public administrations do that. There are two people on your job. So will they keep the guy n°1 or the guy n°2 -that-wears-heels ? The problem is not the decision, it is the question : "-that-wears-heels" is a disctinctive epithete you don't want to be reduced to. That's also true for women : will they keep the woman n°1 or the woman n°2 -that-struts-all-around-in-her-killer-heels ?

[CrazyIcecap]

I am actually thinking of wearing my wedges when i go to work. At my workplace ( german version of a landfill, with lots of garbage-sorting systems and stuff ) we have to change into our working clothes, so it would have nothing to do with my work ( electrician and excavator operator ). I think some of my colleagues would make a little fun of me, but nothing vicious and nothing i can't handle.

But my village would be out of the question...it is just too small, so my parents would hear from it instantly.

Have a look:

https://maps.google.de/maps?f=q&source=s_q&hl=de&geocode=&q=Stiepelse&aq=&sll=51.151786,10.415039&sspn=6.010678,17.29248&vpsrc=0&t=h&ie=UTF8&hq=&hnear=Stiepelse&z=15

[Shafted]

And I thought my town was small.

[bootylover]

I wear my 4" knee highs regularly outside at night, in bars in front of my friends. sometimes inside jeans other time inside. They don't mind but I try not to rubb there faces in it. Wearing them at work well...My boss and three other work colleges are also friends outside and know and have seen me many times in heels. But I wouldn't were them to work. Even if they said it was ok, I wouldn't want to offend anyone else there, I respect my job too much to jeperdise it. Forgot to say, My boss knew about my heeling before he employed me. So I guess he would be cool with it.