Girls and guys in heels experiencing the same things?

[SleekHeels]

In a recent post in the guys forum, malinheels said:

...us guys are experiencing the same things the girls do while wearing heels.

... which made me wonder, are we experiencing the same things?

Sometimes I like to think that I'm experiencing the same thing, just the sheer fun, confidence and feeling special wearing them and not feeling silly or humiliated like most guys would... but then many girls talk about liking the sex-object way that guys look at them, and that experience is totally not for me.

[danielp6406]

I voted "SOME of the same things". Here is what I like about heels: - They look nice (So many styles to choose from...) - They make your feet look smaller and your legs longer - With the proper height, they are more comfortable to wear than flat shoes - I find heels to have a "calming" effect. I feel more "relaxed" while wearing them. - They are fun to wear

[Shafted]

I think that we are all experiencing the same feelings, but how we respond to those feelings mentally may be very different.

[Histiletto]

Could gals and gals and/or guys and guys experience the very same things in heels? Certainly they have many of the common physical feels while sensing the proper fitting heels on their feet. It seems to be a matter of perspective and familiarization. Had the wearing of heels been as common for the guys as the gals have had, possibly guys would think more in the direction of the sex appeal they radiate for the gals while wearing heels, like the gals do for guys now. In the cultures that didn't have heels, did they have a problem with their sex appeal in finding mates? Heels have all the designings and stylings that somehow seem to attract the senses of both men and women. Each have their own perspectives as to what they will determine, which may be very similar to another only with some types of biases.

[CRabbit]

I voted "SOME of the same things". Here is what I like about heels:

- They look nice (So many styles to choose from...)

- They make your feet look smaller and your legs longer

- With the proper height, they are more comfortable to wear than flat shoes

- I find heels to have a "calming" effect. I feel more "relaxed" while wearing them.

- They are fun to wear

That's absolutely my feeling about it too, and as SleekHeels said, the sex-object view from guys isn't my desire when wearing heels either. As for the notion of being a sex-object from a woman's point of view, I've never thought of heels like that...

Chris

[Thighbootguy]

I voted "I'm a GUY and I think we're experiencing MOST/ALL the same things." My perspective may be a bit skewed because I wear thigh boots. I think wearing them is a similar for a guy (once you get past the fear of wearing "women's" boots in public) and a gal. Thigh boots make a fairly strong fashion statement and wearing them is all about being noticed. Even as popular as the style was this past fall/winter there is still the stigma of wearing "hooker boots" that some folks can't get past. Some guys/gals are not comfortable presenting themselves wearing thigh boots but for those who are I think there is a similar feeling of fun and excitement generated by presenting yourself wearing them. For the guys, this is separate from the fun of wearing "women's" boots. I think maybe there should be another category on the poll " I'm a GUY and I think we're experiencing MORE than the gals". TBG

[Steve63130]

I think maybe there should be another category on the poll " I'm a GUY and I think we're experiencing MORE than the gals"

Hey, that's a good point. Whether we wear thigh high boots, knee high boots, pumps, sandals, loafers or clogs in public, what we're doing takes a fair amount of courage (or stupidity!) and the exhiliration that comes from conquering the demons in our heads, PLUS the thrill of wearing what we love, together probably DO allow us to experience more than the gals. I like the way you think, TBG.

Steve

[HappyinHeels]

ALL, Wonderful question but I have to wonder if we can even accurately answer it without comments from WOMEN about the feelings they have when wearing the heels of their choice. I'll offer one perspective just based on simple logic though. Since high heels and the seemingly endless choices that women's fashion entails has become a completed expected part of being a genetic woman I don't think they have the same sense of exhilaration since they're not doing anything unexpected of them. I do think the average woman feels confident and stylish in heels but that is probably it. The important thing is to be comfortable in one's expression and stylish at the same time. So, I believe guy's are experiencing some of the same things. I think both sexes that wear high heels absolutely love their heels but don't believe they wear what they wear with consideration to what the sheep of the world might say or do. That's where confidence radiates from within and slays these imaginary gremlins. HappyinHeels:wavey:

[roniheels]

I think I would have to agree with Thighbootguy and Steve63130. Even though many more men are wearing high heels in public on a regular basis, I think there is still that "OMG"look when we're first spotted while wearing high heels (that's what I've experienced). There have to be unique reactions, whether physically, mentally, or verbally, to a man in high heels in public. I just don't think that women wearing high heels get the "OMG" look or reaction like the men do unless the woman is wearing a very "unique" pair of high heels.

[SleekHeels]

I agree there is a sense of there being something more for guys because wearing heels is doing something socially "forbidden", but women can be fiercely critical of each others looks and I still notice a heck of a lot of disapproving stares from women when they see a woman wearing high heels. Combined with the impossibly high expectations of image that the media imposes on women, I imagine it takes them just as much if not more confidence to step out of the house in their heels each morning. So perhaps not the same experience, but I certainly feel a parallel there.

HappyinHeels, I think your post hits on a profound point too. Sure there are women who "don't have the same sense of exhilaration since they're not doing anything unexpected of them" - just like most guys would just feel silly if they wore heels, many women just wear heels because it's the fashion and there's no buzz there. BUT for those of us who feel the high-heel magic, as you also say "I think both sexes that wear high heels absolutely love their heels... That's where confidence radiates from within" and that's spot on!

[Histiletto]

To me it would be a better perspective if I wasn't viewed as one trying to wear women's heels, but viewed as wearing my heels. Everyone has their own perspectives and considerations to deal with. Rating the experience by others is the same garbage society has done to limit choices. I guess old habits are hard to put away, but it stay because there is still those who find it interesting.

[Roxyinheels]

Well, I'm the third girl voting and the first one posting.......very sad, because this subject is very interesting.

The sex object view is very important for us (women). Very...very important. Wearing heels is so natural...many of us wear heels since we became women from girls, when we were teens. Many of us know the sexual connotation of wearing heels. And, as Happyinheels said, for others, it's just fashion.

But I guess some special pleasure, only for guys, of breaking taboos, and doing something forbidden.

Another side...heels are a sexy way to come in a female fantasy world

Steve 63130 said

PLUS the thrill of wearing what we love, together probably DO allow us to experience more than the gals. I like the way you think

I agree

[Histiletto]

We all have read some very passionate posts about high heels. These intense feelings have come from both gals and guys. I'm sure we all have our own opinions about our experiences and what we want to happen. Therefore, I'm convinced that we all wear heels because of our desire to have them and they satisfy the need to have the footwear we choose to adorn with. All the other feelings, effects, and possible expectations are the bonuses.

[SleekHeels]

But I guess some special pleasure, only for guys, of breaking taboos, and doing something forbidden.

That reminds me of the thread http://www.hhplace.org/everybody/9963-first_pair_heels_you_wore-2.html#post247977 where PussyInBoots said:

What is most fascinating about the comments here, is that it would seem that the 'first steps in high heels' seem to be the same for both girls and boys. In fact there is a common 'secret' aspect to both sexes initial experiences of high heels.

which is an interesting common experience from childhood, and also highlights how we share many of the same role models growing up.

The sex object view is very important for us (women). Very...very important. Wearing heels is so natural...many of us wear heels since we became women from girls, when we were teens. Many of us know the sexual connotation of wearing heels. And, as Happyinheels said, for others, it's just fashion.

That really made me think. I don't wear heels to attract guys, but actually if my girlfriend really like me wearing heels then it would be a pleasure to be wearing them for her and not just for myself. I guess the "sex object" things depends if that means "piece of meat" or "sensuous goddess", and those two views don't have to be polarised male/female like the stereotypes... hence the poll/question perhaps?

[Jkrenzer]

I voted both feel the same things. Really no way to be sure since I am not a girl, but I do love the added snasation wearing heels gives me, a strange awareness and some pumped up feeling, I hear women get the same feelings. I do usually get an initial excitment when I first put my heels on but it quickly subsides.

[hhboots]

I agree with what most others have said. I also think it varies somewhat from man to man and woman to woman. But I do think we get a bit more from it than the average woman. To most women, it's rarely anything more to them than an accessory that can help them look prettier/sexier. To a man that wears them, there usually is a much stronger feeling they get from it. In reading many threads on this forum on the matter, heeling for most guys here started at a young age and they had a strong connection to them, and for many it was sexual. For many of the frequent public male heelers, that feeling they had at a young age might have adapted or faded over time. In those cases, their experiences and the feeling they get in heels are now probably closer in line with a female that enjoys wearing her heels, close but still probably not quite the same regardless.

[Histiletto]

We come to conclusions from our perspectives, which can't be verified as completely the same. People are individuals who see life through their personal understanding, using communication skills which are subject to ones own understanding. We feel our feet slip into the heels, feeling their caress and then we sense the highness while standing and walking. All of the other many perceptions or associations are bonuses from personal opinions, experiences, and/or desires. Sure there are similarities in expressing these bonuses, but these are what make each experience an individual account, which others may identify with, in similar degrees.

[pussyinboots]

Well, I'm the third girl voting and the first one posting.......very sad, because this subject is very interesting.

The sex object view is very important for us (women). Very...very important. Wearing heels is so natural...many of us wear heels since we became women from girls, when we were teens. Many of us know the sexual connotation of wearing heels. And, as Happyinheels said, for others, it's just fashion.

This.

Heels have always made me feel good about myself - even better than usual. I feel powerful and sexy in high heels. I am very aware of the sexual attraction that high heels have for men - and to see this in day to day life when I wear heels is a powerful intoxicant for sure.

[hhboots]

This.

Heels have always made me feel good about myself - even better than usual. I feel powerful and sexy in high heels. I am very aware of the sexual attraction that high heels have for men - and to see this in day to day life when I wear heels is a powerful intoxicant for sure.

Really good to know and now there are two of you ladies saying this...

But, do you think you and Roxy represent the majority of women out there? I never got the impression my wife (or prior gf's) felt so strongly about it and assumed most women don't, but perhaps I am way off and really don't know women. I guess that shouldnt really surprise me...

[saudade]

I'm going to file this under: No way to know for sure. And leave it at that.

[BoyLegs]

I think it's more of a privilege for men, more of an obligation for women. I think both men and women who wear heels like the way they look, feel and sound.

[christine_c9]

I picked--I'm a girl and I think we are experiencing some of the same things.

In three words for me heels are fun, exciting, and sexy. Also I am a shy person and wearing heels makes me so much less shy. Putting on heels is like taking an instant anti-shy drug. They add some colour to grey and boring things, and, obviously, they make me taller. A couple of months ago I wore my current favourites (which I had just bought then) to a 2 day document control training workshop and they made a normally boring 2 days a lot more exciting and fun (even if only for me). There is nothing I can think of that I could have worn that would have worked like wearing heels. It is not like I could have worn a hot party dress to a 2 day training workshop but I can wear heels and even with kind of boring jeans they are still fun, exciting, and sexy.

I have never known a guy who was into wearing high heels and I can’t imagine any of the guys I know wearing heels, but I don’t think most guys wear heels for fun, or to look and feel sexy, or to add some colour to otherwise grey and boring events. I am really sure heels don’t make guys feel less shy. Also I doubt most guys wear heels to be taller. I think they do it mainly because it is exciting for them because it is sort of against the rules and also maybe there are some guys who have a strong feminine side.

So as far as I can work out guys wear heels for small part of the same reason but for other different reasons too. If it were shown as a ‘set’ diagram (remember those from school?) then I think that the girl’s and guy’s sets would overlap about a quarter but the rest would be different … If you know what I mean.

I hope this does not sound silly. It took me about two hours to think it over and key it before posting it. This is what happens when you let someone who does documentation for their work into the forum. I almost needed to put heels on before sending it to give me the confidence

Christine

[Shafted]

Christine, After reading your post it confirms that at least you and I are experiencing that same feelings about heels. I really don't know if other guys have the same feelings that you and I have. Early in this thread I voted that men a women were experiencing the same feelings. At least for me that seems to be the case. THX

[saudade]

but I don’t think most guys wear heels for fun, or to look and feel sexy, or to add some colour to otherwise grey and boring events.

Wearing to feel sexy, not so much, but fun and to add colour sure. I'm more curious why you'd think guys wouldn't wear them for fun or colour? Especially if you've ever looked through guys shoes and their distinct lack of colour, is like a black and white movie reel with shades of brown thrown in to make things not overly drab and boring.

Then again, I'll admit I don't buy banana yellow or hot pink shoes, not sure how I'd ever come close to pulling that off with the clothes I have. I don't have the talent to pair that with anything.

[SleekHeels]

I totally relate to all three of christine's words: fun, exciting, and sexy. On the shy thing I think it's true it used to make me more shy back when wearing heels felt like a shameful secret, but daring to wear them in public has really turned that on its head - for one thing I'm more likely to tell a woman she looks beautiful because she's more likely to feel the genuine sincerity coming from a guy wearing heels, rather than just a sneaky chat-up line.

I think my 'set diagram' would overlap a bit more, maybe two-thirds. Perhaps that reflects that feeling empathy with women is part of the appeal of wearing heels for me (though ironically it's difficult to empathise with why a partner might not like it). Unfortunately women tend to learn from a young age that expectations of empathy/affection from a man are quite unrealistic, and similarly men tend to form unrealistic idealised expectations of empathy/affection from women. Wearing heels and feeling (or imagining?) a shared experience is perhaps my way of challenging that.

[Ricky909]

Yeah I have no personal experiences on which to base this, but I'd think a women in heels may experience feelings of "I'm beautiful," while a man would experience "Ok, I got away with it," or "Yes, person who caught a glimpse of me, this is happening." Both men and women however who truly love heels would just have an immense thrill from wearing them.

[Histiletto]

The perspective we hold now for wearing heels is different due to the social attitudes we have at this time. Had men and women been wearing heels together for the last few centuries, the set diagrams would depict greater numbers of similar experiences. Men haven't usually been seen as sexy in heels, because we have been programmed to see heeling as the feminine look and the male stereotyping hasn't allow for this appearance variation. During the formation of the United States, the roles of men and women through out the world weren't on equal terms. Infact, women and girls were seen more as the property of the man who earned their keep and provided for them, even in the so-called free societies. Most women weren't allowed to own property or be in the propriety of business on their own. The roles of women were seen as homemakers and nuturers in the family organization. If women were seen not wearing the dress/gown styled outfits, they were considered to be loose and unfit to mother children. This scenario for women has changed, because women got tired of being treated like second place human beings, especially when most of them had to do the same jobs men had done during the World Wars 1 & 2 to keep the economy and communities going. Also, women took another look at their citizenship and saw that they didn't have a say in who governed or represented them and yet they were being obligated to pay their taxes with out the benefits men enjoyed being citizens. These examples and other issues irritated women enough that they began movements toward equality. There are still areas that need improvement, but women are persevering to be treated as the human beings we all are. Every woman has more options to persue, which means they can have a greater hope and freedom to excel, which has benefited all of mankind. If only men would strive to make equal strides to enjoy the same freedoms, this world could become utopic for all. One of my main issues is that society has taken the right of personal choice away from individuals, who should be able to decide from their own perspectives, how they want to attire. This right has been in society's control so long that it is not even questioned as to it proper domain. Men's heeling has been directly affected by this social usurpation. The right to choose your own wares, should be in everyones thought process, but sadly our social programming tends to squelch this truth. When most people reach an age of accountability and they question the social standards they are told to support, there are some who rebel when they realize how controlling society has intervened into their personal choices. In time, they are forced to conform when society seems to give them no other options than to return to the standards of the period. With all of the historical notes leading up to this thread's question, there is no doubt in my mind that men and women feel and sense the very same things when they see and put on a pair of heels. They admire the beauty, the designing shapes, the textures, the color(s), the caress when slipping and securing them on, the sense of standing and walking in high heels, the stability of the heels, the sounds and the feeling of the heels on the surfaces, the awareness of their height increase, how good/sexy they look wearing the heels, and then deciding if the coordinate attire is available or needs to be purchased. All the preconceptions and posturings to the afore mentioned dressing in heels are subjective to the individual's life and social environment, which may be essentially different or similar depending on the situation.

[Amanda]

I would have thought that you chaps would have the same the same physical experience. However the danger and excitement of wearing heels must be similar to my own having sneaked them out in a bag and changed into them at school. Something I still remember quite well.

[Gudulitooo]

Women wearing heels are looked at by men in lust, and by women in disapproval / competition. Maybe men are just not so prepared, and gutted, to be so stared at and judged on their attire. Also it is not so clear what will be the reaction of other men or women. For me the experience is different in these way : More things are unknown, and men have little experience in withstanding other's looks. Definately need more feed back.

[benno]

I read a quote in a fashion blog a while ago... It said something like: Clued up young men are having far more fun with their clothes than the girls.