jeremy1986

Another vote for Google here...

@KneeBooted - I enjoyed reading your accounts. sounds like some amazing progress for you. Enjoy  :-) 

Well, @Boots29 - good to hear from you on the one side, but so sad to hear of your issues. You do seem in a pickle, I needn't tell you. Your wife is naturally upset and feels betrayed after you lied to her. Sure, you and we know the background, but hiding things is not a great recipe for happiness in a marriage. At this point, I think you need damage control. Is your wife/marriage/family your first priority? If so - put everything else on the side for now. Make every effort to do so. It doesn't mean throwing things away, but yes - put them away in some storage unit and tell your wife you have done so, as she is the most important thing to you.

Yes - I hear the others here saying how its nothing, its just shoes. That ight be trues - but that's not the issue here. The primary issue is having betrayed your wife's trust again. You need to focus on rectifying that, and then after that, try work on the heels issue. Sure, there night be a middle ground that can be agreed on (many greys between white and black), but you first need to relay the trust. Show that you are commited and love her. 

Good luck!!

Loving those wedges, @balletboot - totally up my alley too :-) 

On 3/2/2020 at 2:44 AM, hiddenheels said:

Thanks for pointing that out to me, it does seem like the confusion is clearing up, yes... How I could broach this to my wife, I have no idea. Even the heels cause a lot of fuss and stress, I can't even imagine the reactions if I keep pushing it with her. Sigh...

I hear ya, mate. I still don't know how I did it myself, with heels. if it means a lot to you, you will have no choice but to breech it with her and work it through. 

On 2/28/2020 at 5:26 AM, hiddenheels said:

I'm expending my energy by shopping. Went to a second-hand store a few days ago and bought another two skirts, one which fits really nicely as is, and another which I'm taking some scissors to, I have something planned for that.

 

Today, wasn't planning on buying anything, but happened to have 30 minutes to kill at a mall while I waited for someone. Walked around, and found a store that looked like it was going bankrupt (it wasn't), but they had a massive section of super-cheap stuff. I ended up buying three brand new skirts, a denim mini-skirt that looks like it's torn for like 5$, a white mini-skirt and a beige one for 2-for-5$. All fit perfectly. Also found a pair of heels, they look sort of like running shoes, but have a stiletto heel and the front is pointy. I think it looks amazing. I have no idea how, but ended up paying ~22$ for the entire collection! All brand new stuff, lots of variety. Will have to go back when I have a bit more time. Will try to post pictures when possible.

Sounds like the confusion is clearing up

Enjoy the new items!

Lovely indeed! I think @bailey would enjoy these wedges too

On 2/24/2020 at 2:46 AM, KneeBooted said:

I haven't posted in a while but I’ve been present just reading through other threads when I have a moment here and there.

Work has been and will continue to be busy for the next few months. Combine that with family life and unfortunately this forum is getting crumbs at the moment.

I apologize for that but wanted to provide an update. I finally got a pair of boots and wore them over jeans, albeit they have only about an inch heel.

I have been on the quest for an engineer style boot. I wanted something mid calf and with a zipper, as I prefer that to the combat boot look. I originally found some Frye boots on Poshmark, but they were listed for $200, and I just couldn’t bring myself to make a reasonable offer, as nice as they looked.

Fortunately, patience paid off and I found a pair of J. Crew boots that I was able to get for $75. I wore them under jeans to work on Friday, but wore them over jeans today for church. For once, I thought this look was more feminine than my wife thought it was.

Either way, as usual, there were no negative comments, although I did get some noticeable looks. None of those looks however were of a negative nature from what I could tell.

Feel free to let me know what you think.

I like this look. Can be both masculine and femme at the same time. I think if your jeans were skinnier, it would be a much more feminine look. Those boots must make a nice noise as you walk in them...?

Coming in late to this thread, but can only say that I totally feel your confusion.... while I am not at the same place as you, I share that same confusion, not to mention the pressure from my SO and within my own head, that its something "wrong" and I should be 'cured' and be 'normal' 

Wishing you well, @hiddenheels mate! Stay healthy and safe - and keep us posted! 

On 2/21/2020 at 10:06 AM, redandwhite said:

Recent purchase from eBay. Lk Bennett vintage 

Nice looking pair, and Welcome back, BTW!

22 hours ago, jeremy1986 said:

3) I think anything "off center" will often rock someone's boat, especially, is that someone is someone close to you, and might be in the position of having to depend you (to friends, family, members of the community etc) 

Wow, so many typos in one line. Hopefully people understood what I meant, but just in case:

3) I think anything "off center" will often rock someone's boat, especially, IF that someone is someone close to you, and might be in the position of having to DEFEND  you (to friends, family, members of the community etc) 

14 hours ago, RonC said:

I think #3 is probably a very big issue.  I can't compare it to women wearing men's clothing, because they do that every day without question (there was an ad on this site that I looked at the other day that was selling direct copies of men's shoes for women.  Wing tips, brogues, etc.  Sad IMHO.)  But imagine if your wife or girlfriend decided she wanted to wear a false mustache every day.  It certainly would be thought of as weird and would be the talk of the town.  You wouldn't be jealous, and I doubt you'd worry about her being gay, but you likely wouldn't enjoy the undesirable attention that it would create I'm sure - and you probably wouldn't like the look either.  Men wearing heels, and especially a pair of heels designed for women, is still primarily thought of as being odd or weird, and I don't think that will be changing anytime soon.

I agree completely, and recently wrote this too on another thread. And the next level of discomfort is if she also has to defend you to others. 

14 hours ago, bailey said:

Thigh high wedge boots. A thrift store find in hard to find size 11. I think they will look good with a pr. of dark denim skinny jeans.

Can I LIKE this one twice? 

What an interesting thread. Also comforting, knowing there are so many of us out there, that cannot enjoy the freedom of heeling.

On 2/17/2020 at 7:28 PM, K2inheels said:

I do not know why spouses or girlfriends are so resistant to their man wearing heels? 

I think is pretty clear why - 

1) jealousy (and that might be why your GF is ok with you heeling - because as you say, she can strut her stuff!)

2) thoughts/fears about one being gay, as @Pierre1961 mentioned above.

and finally -

3) I think anything "off center" will often rock someone's boat, especially, is that someone is someone close to you, and might be in the position of having to depend you (to friends, family, members of the community etc) 

8 hours ago, loverleather said:

Bought these Pleaser Vanity-2013 boots from Poshmark Friday night, they showed up today! Ill get more pics up tomorrow!

Can't see much, but from what we can - they look great! Enjoy!

On 2/14/2020 at 2:16 AM, hiddenheels said:

Alright, I'll use this forum for some self-reflection in an effort to get these thoughts out of my head. Am very very frustrated, at the inability to find the time to relax, and enjoy just being myself. Between work, kids, clubs, and family in general, I barely have any time to "just be". My wife knows about the heels, and she's OK with it, but not supportive. I'm grateful for at least that. But between all the other commitments, where heels are a no-go, I find that I can wear them for only a few hours a week, usually at home. Maybe take a short trip to a coffee shop once a week if I plan things carefully and have work that I can do there, and not at work. This obsession is driving me somewhat crazy, and the desire to wear these, and dress accordingly (jeans, sweater, jacket & heels - with stubble on my face, so not even trying to look lady-like) is super strong. This all ends up in frustration. Day in, day out. Been thinking about trying to push the boundaries a bit at work, but right now is not the proper time for this, perhaps in a year or so. Often frustration turns to anger, at really wanting to do something, but the inability to do it. Maybe I should discuss this with my wife, ask for her help, and try to go out, alone, a bit more often.

Today, at a store, me not wearing heels, I saw a woman dressed like I aspire to, with towering heels. Although it was only a brief glimpse, envy kicked in. *That's* what I want to do.

Is anyone content with what they're doing, vs. what they would like to do?

 

Feeling a bit better. Venting over...

Well, I can say I feel for you buddy, as my situation is pretty much the same. For many years I worked from home, and my wife outside of home -- and enjoyed the perks that come with it - you know what I mean ;-) 
Now I maintain an office up the road where I usually work from, unless I need to babysit. In addition, my MIL has just moved in with us - permanently... so for me too, opportunity is down to a bar minimum, and it gets to me a lot. Especially when I see boots out and about so often, with the cold weather - including my wife. As with you - she is not supportive, but says she is (kinda) ok with me doing so around the house, but just doesn't want to see it.  So I find myself really scraping just a few mins here and there now adays… and as you say, often feel the frustration, but less than you, it seems. 

Wish I could suggest something helpful, beyond the previous ideas. Other than those, I think the only other thing that MIGHT work, is trying to have an open and honest (but scary!) discussion about it with you wife - maybe even with a counselor/mediator if you think its serious enough. 

Keep us posted mate. We could all use a little support here and there! 

@keels, as said - you should easily be able to get away with these. The 2nd set is a little more feminine, agreed. Great that your wife is taking these steps for you.

Well done, @chesterx

Nicely done @maninboots

1 hour ago, keels said:

They have a small heel so are not totally flat.

 

care to shoot us a quick pic?

Good for you @keels! Do you mean allows you to wear them OUT, or allows you inside?

17 minutes ago, maninboots said:

I’m delighted to hear things are improving with you and your wife and great little story about your night out and her boots, I’ve seen and tried those boots in M&S but never bought them, they seem to do a similar style most years, well done on your boots wearing experience aswell, great to see you taking the plunge and maybe trip by trip you’ll get a little more daring, i think starting with flats under trousers is always good until you build your confidence up then maybe try gradually introducing small heels under your trousers and progressing from there, i don’t expect men to jump straight in with knee high heels over jeans, but in time you can certainly build up to that and you’ll wonder what the fuss was all about, but well done on your progress so far, I’d love to meet-up with you sometime and help you along, a nice little shopping trip somewhere not too close to home and maybe try on a few pairs in some shops, could be a bit of fun and a good experience for us both 

Thanks for the encouragement mate - really appreciate it!

I had to deliver something to my kids school a later on - I chickened out on that one!! changed into boring Merrel loafers... 

Yes, I know its a slow journey sometimes... I'm certainly not one to rock the boat too much … But it felt great - and gave me an appetite for more, one day.

Thanks a lot also for the offer to meet up - that DOES sounds like fun - one day hopefully :-) 

Some small heeling/booting updates here.

My wife and I have been going through some very troubling times over the past 2 years. She has been suffering from various emotional issues, and its brought  us into dire straights. I have confided in a few of you guys over the years. Thankfully, things are (very) slowly, improving, after a many hours of therapy, marriage counselling included. There are good days, and bad days. Yesterday was a bit of both, but we had planned a night out after a doctor's appointment, and we stuck to it, despite a difficult session in the morning.  We planned that my wife would pick me up from work and we would go straight through. Soon after we started driving, I noticed my wife was wearing boots - and she showed me they were her heeled boots! and told me that she had especially put them on for me, for our night out. 

Now, anyone who is an avid reader of mine :-)  will know that my wife hardly ever wears heels anymore (she has tossed out most of them, or handed them down to me), and even boots are not common fort her, as she says she feels the heat a lot. Over the years, I would pass humorous comments here and there suggesting boots, but I usually just get a chuckle and then she chooses some flat ballerina type shoes in the winter - or (gasp!) slip slops/thongs in the summer....   So, I was really touched that she thought of doing this for me. She looked great in them, and I enjoyed seeing her in them, and the way they changed her walk... she reported back that they were really comfortable and manageable, and would definitely wear them more often, just that she isn't used to the heel. I told her its just a matter of getting used to them again. She even said I wonder what it would be like wearing them to work (she now works a long 8-9 hour shift at a shop...). I doubt that would happen, but even just hearing her say that seems way out of character  - in a good way I think. So that was a really fun evening. The boots themselves are a lovely pull-on style with soft suede and a kitten heel (roughly 2.5") from M&S she/we bought a few years ago. Some snaps below and you can read more about them here. 

Now to another update, hot from this morning's press.

I'm working home today, after having gone to an early morning run and then dropping everyone off at school and work. I decided that it should definitely be a morning in boots. But unfortunately having my MIL living with us now, means I cannot wear my stiletto's much!

So I chose a more under-cover pair- they are mid-calf, flat and a very comfy slouchy suede style. The soles are rubber, so they make a lovely  silent delicate sound as one walks around. I decided I would push my boundaries just a little (which is still no where close to many of you guys). I needed to get to a storage unit of ours and put stuff in, and remove other stuff. We were also supposed to get a grocery delivery during the morning, and I decided today would be the day. As you can see, these are very much under the radar - especially when worn under my chinos as I did, so its pretty much a none issue, unless someone takes a closer look and sees the style. The zip is mostly hidden. so first, while busy in and out of the storeroom, walking in and out of our place - not many people around, but at some point, the neighbor above us came passed and we chatted a little. I had the feeling that she looked down, but behind her sun glasses, i could not tell. Even if she did think she saw something, it was a split second - she didn't show anything, and I doubt she'll say anything to anyone. (She was actually wearing a really cute ankle boot with a small heel!) She then proceeded to drive away and life went on (read - the world continue to rotate, as some of you say!). I then continued my chores and then the delivery came, the 2 guys brought the stuff in, but also didn't seem to show anything, and I doubt noticed anything anyway. Interestingly, my MIL then came out to help, and chatted with me as usual, certainly didn't say anything. I doubt she even noticed. So all in all - only one of very few 'outings' I have had in boots, and its felt nice. and interaction with at least 4 people - which is definitely first for me! I am sure it would be more noticeable even while wearing my other flat boots, which have a plastic heel - and they make much more of a clip-clop sound as one gets around.

Anyway - I lovely day and some nice small achievements too!

Here are the boots (still wearing them!)

20 hours ago, Shyheels said:

I doubt if wearing heels, or anything else, makes anyone a better person, but being open, at ease, expressive and comfortable in yourself will certainly allow for a greater generosity of spirit, and a fuller expression of those good qualities that are already there

Agreed!

@KneeBooted, yours looks great, but the wife's look better ;-)   there is just more to see!

@Loverboot, well played! Superb looking heels. You manage well in them?