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Master Resource: General Public Discussions of men in heels

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8 hours ago, bambam said:

So I've been thinking about this a lot, and the world seems to be pretty clear about how it feels about this. Men's clothing must be functional only. Anybody who says a suit can be stylish, obviously doesn't understand what the suit is for. It is a derivation of a military uniform, and the point is, don't look different, focus on your work, and get the job done. This is as true in a board room as it is in a machine shop or battle field. Despite the fact that women have a huge wardrobe socially speaking, and can further take anything they want from the mens section (I consistently see websites with sections called 'Stolen From the Boys'), if men do anything for themselves or step outside the norm in any way, they are instantly thought of as non team players, and outcasts. Personally, that has been my biggest problem being ok with wearing high heels, I feel that I am not living up to my responsibility as defined by culture to play the game properly. My argument against that is that women regularly go against the grain now, and do what they feel is right. I'm not sure if I'm strong enough to live by that ethos, but if he can, regardless of who he is attracted to, he's a god. Literally. 

It goes back to what fashion historians refer to as The Great Male Renunciation in the 18th century. As part of the evolving culture of the Age of Enlightenment, it became de rigueur for men to renounce beauty and adornment, bright colours and fripperies such as heels, and adopt a more sober practical intellectual look. Earth tones were 'in', being a peacock at court was very much 'out'. Bright colours and heels were fine for women who were seen as emotional creatures not really clever enough for more intellectual pursuits. Women of course were never content to stay put and were - and remain - happy to borrow whatever they like from the male wardrobe, and had the moral strength to do so even in the face of strong social condemnation - as in the case of women adopting trousers in the 20th century. They persisted and won.

Men have never had that collective courage, and our fashion drivers remain firmly rooted in the 18th century - uniformity, sobriety, practicality, dark shades, simple colours. Theatricality in dress is not allowed. It is seen as unsound. Does not belong with the herd. 

How that changes, I do not know - unless the collective boredom simply becomes too much. 

 

 

     

6 hours ago, MackyHeels said:

The aussie being gay and shunned by the community is amusing. Replies to him asking, "Why are you wearing heels? "that's disgusting your a man." While hetero guys like myself and others on the forum have difficult time being accepted wearing heels or feminine clothes. Having a  prejudice to get passed people's perceptions and stereotypes exists using labels onto me.

This news video of him wearing heels to the office while announcing to his superiors as he will wearing heels not for approval but a statement was smart. We know people don't like something will lie and say no way dress wearing your loafers.  Suppose his co-workers or boss wouldn't hire him if they known his high heeling style would be brought to the office.  Yet dismissing his job or duties maybe not to far around the corner. Let's face it clever people hate some co-workers for whatever reason often superiors will find a way to vacate  his job and push them out one way or another.

Jobs are to obey superiors and be a team player and if you go on your own path or beat of your own drum in his case heels, different from the norm, then he is no longer has value to the company or workplace. 

See how long he will last before the boss and employees get fed up and make him no longer valuable asset to keep.  Walking on eggshells superiors need excuse around his heeling desires to banish him for good. Would not surprise me if we hear from him again about a lawsuit towards his employers after they dispose of his job. 

Wonder if there will be dress code implemented at his workplace stating gender specific attire must be required to be worn by employees. Until they make a high heel court shoe labeling it men's shoe from specific brand rather him picking them up in the ladies section you can't wear them heels anymore. Hope i'm wrong but doubt he will survive the prejudice people have in the workplace. We all know boss will befriend him stating his compliment before he stabs him the back and gets rid of him. The poor aussie will feel that his job was eliminated not because his boss dislikes his heels but simple business move.  Only way to wear heels in office is advance yourself to be the boss and even then board members might vote you out because your detrimental to the image of the company is trying to have. 

Only place i can think of you can wear heels is own your private company or work for italian designer shoe company such as Stuart Weitzman then again if the owner dislikes your wearing heels because his customers woman are appalled or disgusted then he will make you accountable losing business.  Funny because Weitzman made an advertisement degrading women. While i heard woman owning his heels threw them in the trash vowing never to own his pair ever again.  Sexism and labels will always exist but bottom line do your job brilliantly then you have value and stay off the radar and you keep working and making an income. 

Screenshot_2016-06-17_11.31.54.png?14661

 

The guy works at a bank. Meeting clients. If his boss wasn't happy with it, or had doubts, he/she would tell him so. Maybe they do things differently in Canada but Australians are fairly plainly spoken - we're not shy, we speak our minds. 

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1 hour ago, Shyheels said:

Men have never had that collective courage, and our fashion drivers remain firmly rooted in the 18th century - uniformity, sobriety, practicality, dark shades, simple colours. Theatricality in dress is not allowed. It is seen as unsound. Does not belong with the herd. 

How that changes, I do not know - unless the collective boredom simply becomes too much. 

It changes when you have the courage as a man to lead the herd.  Maybe, I have it easier because of where I live, maybe because I have been outside (ahead of) the herd and on the cutting edge of things. 

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And do you see lots of men following your example? The herd looking up from their bunch grass and trotting along behind?

Edited by Shyheels

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Well...they're persistent, I'll give them that. I am not at all surprised to hear their crowdfunding failed.. 

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I like the concept but I don't find their styles attractive. I don't like tie shoes. I'm sure many do, so I wish them well. Their prices are too high for me. I've never spent that much on shoes and don't intend to.

Steve

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19 hours ago, Shyheels said:

And do you see lots of men following your example? The herd looking up from their bunch grass and trotting along behind?

No I don't see lots of men following my example, yet. But I do see more and more asking me about it. 

I'm starting to see more and more men wearing what look like leggings.

Look at the "man bun".

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I don't know what a 'man bun' is. It doesn't sound nice...

As to the questions from the guy on the street - I am not too surprised there could be latent interest or desire. I suspect, as Thoreau said, the mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation...

Edited by Shyheels
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I am following this guy on lookbook. Just found his Youtube Channel. Look at 1:11 on the following video he has got a nice pair of high heel boots and I like his pirate outfit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AtnzVPWhcFY

http://lookbook.nu/user/5796755-Ken-N

He also did a video with Ari Fitz there https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KzmSHiBJJsU

 

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I had a very interesting time on Saturday, out for the day at a business meeting with three ladies. One of them took her car so we converged on her house to get a lift. When I arrived, they said, You're the odd one out - we're all wearing skirts! I said it's a real shame I didn't know the dress code before I arrived! I was wearing my usual 4.5 inch block heels, but no comment was made, although I'm sure they know I wear them. I've known two of them for over three years. Even then, could you really sit next to someone in the back seat of the car for over an hour without that other person seeing what you're wearing? Anyway, the four of us are going to another business training on 14 April and we've decided our clothes will match for colour (blue) and our tops will have pictures of birds on. I'm now just waiting for a few prompts, as we're on a separate FB chat group. I would absolutely love the opportunity to wear something more daring in the way of shoes - some blue stilettos, perhaps? It will be a 'safe' environment - the company's head office - with moral support from three others. However, I don't want to force the issue, obviously. Perhaps I should get my blue heels in anticipation... One of them might even provide a skirt! I shouldn't get my hopes up too far, but it certainly made for a very interesting conversation.

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1 hour ago, Tacchi Alti said:

I had a very interesting time on Saturday, out for the day at a business meeting with three ladies. One of them took her car so we converged on her house to get a lift. When I arrived, they said, You're the odd one out - we're all wearing skirts! I said it's a real shame I didn't know the dress code before I arrived! I was wearing my usual 4.5 inch block heels, but no comment was made, although I'm sure they know I wear them. I've known two of them for over three years. Even then, could you really sit next to someone in the back seat of the car for over an hour without that other person seeing what you're wearing? Anyway, the four of us are going to another business training on 14 April and we've decided our clothes will match for colour (blue) and our tops will have pictures of birds on. I'm now just waiting for a few prompts, as we're on a separate FB chat group. I would absolutely love the opportunity to wear something more daring in the way of shoes - some blue stilettos, perhaps? It will be a 'safe' environment - the company's head office - with moral support from three others. However, I don't want to force the issue, obviously. Perhaps I should get my blue heels in anticipation... One of them might even provide a skirt! I shouldn't get my hopes up too far, but it certainly made for a very interesting conversation.

Sounds like an interesting opportunity. If the skirt interests you - go for it, sounds like the door was opened already :cheeky:

 

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I'm not particularly interested in wearing a skirt but as part of an overall good time and coming out properly in heels it would take a lot of beating, and if my heels were on show I'm sure I'd get some comments, including how well I can walk in them, etc. Everyone says I have great legs (modest...) so there might even be a bit of light-hearted bitching there.

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ok, well it sounds like it might be a safe opportunity, as you said. Maybe for the last session of the training? 

I assume you will need to hide the skirt thing (and new stilettos?) from your wife for now? 

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The thing that concerns me is I think you said this is a business trip/outing.  Generally speaking, it is usually best to keep your work and personal lives separate.  But, I am not you, and I know nothing about your work environment.  Nonetheless, I would give it some thought before jumping into the skirt. 

On the other hand, you have worn block heeled shoes/boots with your coworkers before, so no one will be "surprised". 

I would certainly bring the skirt/gear on the trip though, just in case you decide the occasion is right. 

You mentioned the wife also I think, so certainly make sure she is OK with it before going on the trip...

Have fun!  I'm envious for sure....

On ‎3‎/‎23‎/‎2018 at 9:21 AM, Gudulitooo said:

I am following this guy on lookbook. Just found his Youtube Channel. Look at 1:11 on the following video he has got a nice pair of high heel boots and I like his pirate outfit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AtnzVPWhcFY

http://lookbook.nu/user/5796755-Ken-N

He also did a video with Ari Fitz there https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KzmSHiBJJsU

 

These guys look great.  The combination of feminine and masculine gear screams confidence, would love to be able to achieve this look for sure

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22 hours ago, pebblesf said:

The thing that concerns me is I think you said this is a business trip/outing.  Generally speaking, it is usually best to keep your work and personal lives separate.  But, I am not you, and I know nothing about your work environment.  Nonetheless, I would give it some thought before jumping into the skirt. 

On the other hand, you have worn block heeled shoes/boots with your coworkers before, so no one will be "surprised". 

I would certainly bring the skirt/gear on the trip though, just in case you decide the occasion is right. 

You mentioned the wife also I think, so certainly make sure she is OK with it before going on the trip...

Have fun!  I'm envious for sure....

These guys look great.  The combination of feminine and masculine gear screams confidence, would love to be able to achieve this look for sure

I wouldn't bring the skirt myself. I'd say that if they wanted me in one they should bring it. That will put the onus on them, and a get-out for me. I doubt this will get beyond fantasy, but we can always dream. I sent one of them a FB message just saying my male brain was trying to process the signals they gave out, from the initial remark to the detailed discussion about clothes, and ascertaining how serious they were, as I didn't have the female seventh sense. She thought my message was hilarious and said the bit about the matching colours was serious, as was the bird pattern - an extra touch by one of them. I didn't mention anything else specifically. Anyway, it's sown the seed. It's obvious they regard me as 'one of them'. The one I contacted had already said in a group message that they should call me Charlie, and they were the three angels. I saw her and another of them at a business presentation last evening and I greeted them loudly as 'my angels', much to everyone's amusement, and there were hugs and kisses. That's not unusual in this business, BTW. These aren't giggly teenagers - the youngest is in her thirties and the other two are in their forties and fifties.

I wouldn't tell my wife! She'd see the new shirt, of course, but that wouldn't cause any problems. Any footwear other than my usual heels would have to be smuggled into the car. I have some black suede stilettos with round toes and heels just over 4 inches. I could take those and test the temperature - even just to wear in usual man mode.

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As you say, the seed has been sowed... see how it plays out. and at the very least - as you say, you have the fantasy :cheeky:

 

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Sounds like you have this situation well under control!

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It sounds to me like a recipe for a potential life-altering disaster.

Edited by Shyheels
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I agree, Shyheels. He could lose his job and his spouse! I sure hope not.

Steve

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Tacchi Alti,

You may be reading too much into it. I don't know what kind of company this is so I cannot begin to know what their corporate culture is. This may not be the best venue to stretch your freestyling envelope. If you wore a skirt and if your wife was okay with it and if the other women actually wear what they said they would then it may all work out. Notice the three "ifs" in the last sentence? When there is this much uncertainty the above comments of Shyheels and Steve63130 may prove prophetic indeed. Perhaps save your skirt and alternative heels for home time or a time and place outside your local area. Only you can best gauge what is in your best interest. Thanks nevertheless for throwing the topic up for discussion at the virtual bar with virtual beers all around. :cheeky:  HappyinHeels

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I had a interesting talk with a young sales associate last week.

I stopped in a women's shoe boutique that I look into every once in a while.  I asked young sales associate if they had any 4 inch or higher heels. She pointed to the center table and one wall and told me "how about these wedges."  The strange thing was there wasn't any wedges on the center table or the wall, all block heels.  I then asked her if she knew what "wedges" were.  She fumbled with the description of a wedge.  At that point I took off one of my Steve Madden wedge mules and told her. "This is a wedge." "Oh!"

She then ask me not to tell her boss that she didn't know what wedge were, which I didn't.  But (1) Why you you take a job selling women's shoes if you have no clue about women's shoes?  (2) Who is this boss that hire such an employee?

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One answer for both questions: Minimum wage staff. 

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4 hours ago, Shyheels said:

One answer for both questions: Minimum wage staff. 

exactly.....

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10 hours ago, Cali said:

I had a interesting talk with a young sales associate last week.

I stopped in a women's shoe boutique that I look into every once in a while.  I asked young sales associate if they had any 4 inch or higher heels. She pointed to the center table and one wall and told me "how about these wedges."  The strange thing was there wasn't any wedges on the center table or the wall, all block heels.  I then asked her if she knew what "wedges" were.  She fumbled with the description of a wedge.  At that point I took off one of my Steve Madden wedge mules and told her. "This is a wedge." "Oh!"

She then ask me not to tell her boss that she didn't know what wedge were, which I didn't.  But (1) Why you you take a job selling women's shoes if you have no clue about women's shoes?  (2) Who is this boss that hire such an employee?

She's learning on the job... I don't see an issue with that. Many of us did that! 

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What amazed me was this twenty-something year old woman had no idea what a wedge was. How many other 20-something women have no idea what are wedges?

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Believe it or not, some women don't put much thought into their shoes, just like there are men that do so.  They just wear what aligns with what everyone else wears. 

Sure, a majority of women really like shoes and will certainly know what a wedge is, but there are actually women out there where shoes are of very low importance to them, they are purely a comfort thing and they might try to emulate what everyone else is wearing, but beyond that, no thought about the shoes is involved. 

She is probably doing this job because its a paying (minimum wage) job and they hired her because she is a willing, capable worker, not because she loves them or knows everything about them.

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Come to think of it, I have very little idea of the different types of men's shoes because I don't wear men's shoes...but then I also don't work at a men's shoe store.

Edited by Cali
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On 29/03/2018 at 7:36 AM, Cali said:

I had a interesting talk with a young sales associate last week.

  But (1) Why you you take a job selling women's shoes if you have no clue about women's shoes?  (2) Who is this boss that hire such an employee?

Selling things don't really require to know what you sell ... :cheeky:

Yesterday, I met a real estate agent that didn't know about the technical obligations of the seller. Also most of the ones I have met knew almost nothing about a house, except where is the kitchen, the rooms, etc. What they really know is how much they earn when the deal is closed !

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