The Adventures of kneehighs...

[kneehighs]

First date last night. We scheduled to meet at 7:30 and when I arrived at the lounge she was standing in front of the lounge on the sidewalk waiting for me. I could literally feel her eyes blazing craters up and down my body as I approached her. She was sizing me up. "A blazer (she touched my blazer) and jeans...." As soon as her eyes caught my heels, she said something like, "And heels too??" Naturally, there had to be an audience of about 6 people watching our interaction. I was on the spot.

1 of those people was the bartender who I have a positive history of rapport with. We looked at each other and without even addressing the girl's curiosity about my heels, I said to the bartender, "Hey man! We're here to grab a table." "Cool, come on in" he said. At this time, I patted the girl on the small of her back and said, "Go on in." When inside I said, "let's go to the back to get a table." She actually stopped at the bar in the front shortly after (test again) and motioned as if she was going to sit at the bar. I replied, "No, let's sit at a table, there's some really comfortable pillows and couches and great ambiance in the back."

I'm not going to go into all the details of the rest of the night, but it did end well, at 3:15 am. She wound up texting me first today, reaching out to say thanks for last night.

The moral of the story that I want to emphasize here is frame control. I ignored her knee jerk reaction to create a false sense of importance around my heels from the very get go. It may have been newsworthy to her, but that doesn't mean she couldn't think about it after she'd learned more about me. Imagine what would have happened if I had allowed her knee jerk reaction of fear/surprise at my heels to define the mood of our interaction beginning with the point of first impression? Ultimately, heels are like sex, "no big deal."

[Bubba136]

The moral of the story that I want to emphasize here is frame control. I ignored her knee jerk reaction to create a false sense of importance around my heels from the very get go. It may have been newsworthy to her, but that doesn't mean she couldn't think about it after she'd learned more about me. Imagine what would have happened if I had allowed her knee jerk reaction of fear/surprise at my heels to define the mood of our interaction beginning with the point of first impression? Ultimately, heels are like sex, "no big deal."

This is a very important lesson. It's akin to walking through a mall wearing heels and reacting to people's reactions.....or, as my old dad used to tell me "act like you belong there and no one will question if you do or not.....

So, thanks once again KH!....I'm sure more than one aspiring public heels wearer will take this lesson to heart and be more comfortable and wiser for it.

[Thighbootguy]

or, as my old dad used to tell me "act like you belong there and no one will question if you do or not.....

Sounds like you had a very wise father.

[JeffB]

This is a very important lesson. It's akin to walking through a mall wearing heels and reacting to people's reactions.....or, as my old dad used to tell me "act like you belong there and no one will question if you do or not.....

Darn good advice which I follow all the time when out and about!

[roniheels]

Kneehighs ... Congratulations on a successful evening. I had a similar experience with a date one evening where I just told her of my wearing women's high heels in public, and she insisted on ending the date. It is always nice to hear someone who meets a woman that is positive concerning a man wearing high heels. Bubba ... Your dad was a wise man and that philosophy can definitely apply to many situations.

[kneehighs]

To go further into frame control in the context of Saturday night, the girl asked me the following question, "So why don't you have a girlfriend?"

Do you see how she was trying to set up the frame here to test me? It was a loaded question designed to put me in a corner. Somehow she wanted me to honestly answer that question yet still demonstrate that I was an attractive potential suitor to her.

Fortunately, I'm a bit smarter than that now and answered her with my own question, "I think the real issue is why don't you have a boyfriend?" When I asked this question, I asked with confidence, fully expecting an answer from her.

EDIT: another frame she tried to set up revolved around sex when she said, "I'm not sleeping with you tonight." "You brought up the topic, not me." I didn't try and logically convince her it was okay to have sex with me on our first date (it was not a blind date btw), I countered with a brief statement that made it seem like she was the one interested in sex and moved the conversation on from there.

DOUBLE EDIT: I asked her ,"so beauty in my life is common. In fact, in it of itself, it's boring. But people with a great attitude, with irreplaceable traits, with irreplaceable character are rare and worth working to keep around. What about you makes you irreplaceable?" Do you see my frame control here? It reframed our interaction to imply I was the selector, not her.

[Dawn HH]

Kneehighs:-) You really know how to play the game without letting any girl take advantage of any situation and giving them the knowledge that you are calling the shots to the direction in which you want to go. You certainly have the talent to steer any situation to your advantage. I take my hat off to you, my friend. Or as a gambler would say, "You must know when to hold them or when to fold them". Cheers--- Dawn HH

[Bubba136]

To go further into frame control in the context of Saturday night, the girl asked me the following question, "So why don't you have a girlfriend?"

Do you see how she was trying to set up the frame here to test me? It was a loaded question designed to put me in a corner. Somehow she wanted me to honestly answer that question yet still demonstrate that I was an attractive potential suitor to her.

Fortunately, I'm a bit smarter than that now and answered her with my own question, "I think the real issue is why don't you have a boyfriend?" When I asked this question, I asked with confidence, fully expecting an answer from her.

EDIT: another frame she tried to set up revolved around sex when she said, "I'm not sleeping with you tonight." "You brought up the topic, not me." I didn't try and logically convince her it was okay to have sex with me on our first date (it was not a blind date btw), I countered with a brief statement that made it seem like she was the one interested in sex and moved the conversation on from there.

DOUBLE EDIT: I asked her ,"so beauty in my life is common. In fact, in it of itself, it's boring. But people with a great attitude, with irreplaceable traits, with irreplaceable character are rare and worth working to keep around. What about you makes you irreplaceable?" Do you see my frame control here? It reframed our interaction to imply I was the selector, not her.

Judging from the way that "men in heat (and, thats 96% of them)" pursue females these days, the entire female species is convinced that they are the ones deciding what is going to happen, when and how much. Most are so used to having their "choice" of many," that not being in "selection mode" really disarming them and creating confusion in their minds.

I would bet the woman you were with began planning her strategy even before she walked out the door to meet you. And, your slight altering of what should have been the normal path to her decision of "what next" for you, confused and rattled her to a degree that she was totally out of cinc. Which, no doubt, caused her to reevaluate her tactics and take her decision on a completely different and entirely truthful (and, perhaps, not often used) criteria.

Well done....

[kneehighs]

^ what's funny is girls are raised to believe that men will chase them. That they are the selectors. It may begin in the family, extend to the media (magazines, movies), and perhaps even be religious in some cases. All sorts of factors train girls to expect men to chase them. I was swiftly reminded of this frame just now when some model (who is on the cover of a very recent beauty issue of Vogue) just called my cell. I've been deliberately challenging her...by taking my time to respond to her emails and sometimes not even responding to her emails at all. Most guys would drop whatever they are doing to be in the company of this girl. My responses were designed to challenge her. I wish I taped the conversation to bring it back here. She was literally hitting me over the head with how busy she is, how many options she has, how if we get together, it's going to be last minute, how she has sooo many options in her life. It was a verbal blitz full of her frames, which were her attempts to get me to buy into her frame. She came on soo strong, I was even thrown off a bit to be honest. So I just remained unemotional while letting her get emotional, which ultimately puts me in the position of social power. (when 2 people are communicating and one gets emotional but the other doesn't, the unemotional one always has the power). I told her I'd call her from Soho when I'm there tomorrow. Yeah, right. I've got another model who has also been on a vogue cover to meet with.

[kneehighs]

Hey I just want to add something here for all the people reading the recent posts on this thread and maybe not understanding how everything ties together. I'm past having to work really hard to put together an outfit that looks good. That's second nature to me now and it's fully integrated into my day to day lifestyle. I love fashion and style, so it's just a part of who I am now. My focus is now making my personality as attractive as possible, mostly to sexually attract women, but also to attract the platonic respect of other men. Some may think I didn't really have a problem with this to begin with, but my attitude is more along the lines of , "there's always room for improvement." Imagine a guy with amazing posture walks into a room. He's got what I call poetic presence. He moves with a minimum of effort. When a girl looks at him to size him up, he looks right back at her. With his eyes, he says something like, "I know something about you that you don't even know about yourself". He walks up to her, walking graciously, slowly...he looks at her left eye, then her right eye, then down to her lips. He gently purses his lips as if he is about to kiss her and leans in, "how can you look at me like that and not even say hi." That my friends is who I want to be, all the while wearing heels.

[Bubba136]

:clap:Sounds like the perfect beginning to the perfect English novel to me

[Dawn HH]

Sounds like the perfect plot to a great "chick flic" to me, or maybe a 3 hanky film.

[kneehighs]

Had a typical Saturday night last night. Started it by meeting a friend for dinner in Tribeca at 8:30. I selected this location because some people in my industry were there and I wanted to social proof my "professional" status up a notch. (she's a "10"/vogue cover girl). At midnight we parted our separate ways as she had a photo shoot to be up for at 7 am the next morning.

From there I headed to a favorite spot of mine in Soho. It was quite an evening. The first thing I did was put myself into a social state of mind. So I started talking to anyone, just priming myself for the rest of the evening and social proofing the room. I really do love the heart of women, their inner core , and just genuinely appreciate their company non-sexually. They just know how to connect and make you feel all warm and fuzzy. It kind of sends a tingle down the back of my neck.

After chatting with about 4 different groups of girls non-sexually, I found myself in conversation with 2 girls from Barcelona. The time and place was ripe for me to turn on my "mojo". I demonstrated leadership by directing the conversational topics using my personal "routine" system: from the vena amoris, to a little hand game I use for demonstrating why the wedding/engagement band is traditionally on the ring finger, to talking about the differing sizes of their index finger compared to their ring finger...I talked about the visual submodalities of their positive memories, tested their kinesthetic intelligence by having one girl close her eyes while I super flirtatiously held her hand and ran three fingers up the sider of her arm asking her to guess how many fingers I was using. I had these girls fascinated enough that even though they were going to leave before they met me, they stayed. About 45 minutes went by and I got the number of the blonde. Texted her on the spot to verify the number was valid. She laughed at the text which wasn't even funny (when they laugh at everything you say that's good). We'll see where that goes.

Later I saw one girl standing with a group of girls, but not socially engaged. She had a poker face so I opened the conversation with, "There's something about you I think I know." She paused and looked at me. I wasn't really waiting for a response from her, I just immediately continued "You seem like an objective person, a girl who doesn't wear her sleeve on her shoulder, who keeps calm, cool, and objective when making a decision." Boom, not only was I right judging from her reaction, but she was intrigued enough to keep talking. When i looked at her shoes and saw that they were patent wedges, I asked, "so what are those like to wear in comparison with your regular stiletto?"...She replied something along the lines of, "they are more stable". That's when I said, "Isn't it nice how much more fun life is when you are wearing heels?" "Yes, blah blah"...then I said, "that's why I'm wearing heels tonight too." She looked down and wasn't even half phased. It's like I asked her to look at the color blue in my jeans. It was a total non-event.

There were many other women I chatted up that night, other numbers I got, while wearing my 4.5" Nine West cone heels, a women's blazer, and women's jeans.

[Dawn HH]

Kneehighs:-) You certainly have a way or a system to grope the inner feelings of the females. You are good at it to your advantage. You understand exactly how they are put together. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[Maximilian]

A high heeled Don Juan in the making lol.

Your escapades in the Big Apple remind me of this scene:

[Bubba136]

A high heeled Don Juan in the making lol.

Your escapades in the Big Apple remind me of this scene:

Yes, the guy in the black cape and mask is a dead ringer for Don Juan Kneehighs, isn't he?

[Puffer]

... I just immediately continued "You seem like an objective person, a girl who doesn't wear her sleeve on her shoulder, who keeps calm, cool, and objective when making a decision." ...

If that's not a typo, kh, can you explain the saying, please? I've never heard it; does it mean the same as 'wear her heart on her sleeve' (i.e. have obvious, open feelings or emotions that all can see)? Or did you mean something else?

When one thinks about it, it is difficult not to wear a sleeve on the shoulder!

[danielp6406]

Well done kneehighs on your last outing

I'm sure Maximilian! is right on with the Don Juan video !

BTW, me too I would like to understand the meaning of "wear her sleeve on her shoulder"

[kneehighs]

If that's not a typo, kh, can you explain the saying, please? I've never heard it; does it mean the same as 'wear her heart on her sleeve' (i.e. have obvious, open feelings or emotions that all can see)? Or did you mean something else?

When one thinks about it, it is difficult not to wear a sleeve on the shoulder!

Well done kneehighs on your last outing

I'm sure Maximilian! is right on with the Don Juan video !

BTW, me too I would like to understand the meaning of "wear her sleeve on her shoulder"

It was a typo.

[Dawn HH]

Kneehighs:-) I also would like to know if that saying was a typo error or not. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[Tech]

Kneehighs:-)

I also would like to know if that saying was a typo error or not.

Cheers---

Dawn HH

See his post right before yours. He says its a typo...

[kneehighs]

So this Friday afternoon was interesting. After I took care of my business, I studied the stories that I've told over and over again during conversation and analyzed the traits within those stories that make me attractive to girls. I literally have a catalog of some 20+ stories I can pull out of a hat during a conversation with a girl. Each story is now told with the specific goal of attracting a girl to me as fast as possible.

Needless to say, this repertoire of stories comes in handy. In keeping with my existing wardrobe, I wore flare leg pants today which also tends towards the trend of flare leg pants that I talked about in another thread. 4" Nine West pumps in black, a form fitting black shirt and a black blazer that I had a seamstress bring in at the waist for a perfect fit.

Met 2 girls at one bar. They were from England, High Barnet. I saw them when I entered the venue standing at one bar overlooking the lounge. Minutes later, they were standing at the corner of another bar and about 10 minutes after that, they were at the opposite end of the bar. This made for a great opener, "So I see you guys are making your rounds around here (implying they were on the prowl for men)" and before long, we were in conversation.

That was actually the worst convo of the night though. The best first surfaced when I was stuck talking to some cute Asian lawyer with amazing hair. I had seen this 5'9" blonde girl in a blazer, black skinny jeans, and black patent pumps. When I saw this girl I wasn't in awe, but her long straight blonde hair and height and blazer and skinny jeans swept me away. Despite some other guys initiating a convo with her, I knew I had to talk to her. I made sure the lawyer I was talking with stood within eye view of the blonde.

Finally, after getting the number of the lawyer and talking a bit more, I excused myself as I saw the blonde walking alone. Within minutes, I found her sitting at a stool, all alone, with her legs crossed at the knees showing off her patent round toe pumps. "Now those are the type of shoes I need tonight" showing her my pointy toe pumps.

Boom, I was in. Within minutes, I was doing my typical finger analysis on her, talking about why the ring finger is on the ring finger historically and watching some dude who was also interested stand there trying to get her attention. He left. But her attention towards me only deepened. I don't know how to explain it, but I have really acute perception with regards to women's faces and could tell she was an ENTJ (MBTI). There's something about the lack of emotion she showed....so I went into "I have a feeling you are a very leadership type of person"....she talked about yes, she was always in leadership roles...."and you can be really sarcastic"....she talked about how yes, she likes to tear guys down at work..."and you sometimes have a hard time connecting with people on an emotional level"...and she agreed. It was almost uncanny. The intrigue had her so curious it wasn't even funny. She readily admitted to being in a complex "relationship" with a guy in Texas (after living in Boston for 6 months and NYC for 3 months now) and emphatically made clear that she wasn't looking for something long-term. To me, this means the door is open. Of course, I made sure to press her attraction buttons also, talking about how I came to New York City with no friends, no family, no job, not even a room to rent or a place to stay and NOW...blah blah....From her immediate reaction to this, I could tell she was totally turned on by my self confidence. This means that when we get together on Thursday night for a models party, I will be sure to press the self-confidence attraction stories again. It's funny, but I'm getting good at telling which attraction triggers set off a women's interest level. Her's were the stories I told that emphasized my social status and self-confidence. She won't stand a chance when we are alone on Thursday night. After texting her on the spot to test to see if her phone number was true and talking for about another 5 minutes afterwards, we mutually excused ourselves from the convo. She LEFT immediately. Alone.

Heels/pumps really make no difference. It's all in the self-imposed limitations guys here place on themself with regards to women. And when you overcome your limitation and self-doubt with women, that confidence tends to pervade EVERYTHING you do--enriching your entire life. And to think as Maximillian said, I'm only at the starting stages of being a "don juan in the making." That's true. It's just the beginning!!

[Bubba136]

Don Juan morphing into Alfie or Alfie morphing into Don Juan (Don Juan definitely had more "class," appreciation and respect for his female conquests, in my opinion)

[Dawn HH]

Kneehighs:-) No matter who or what you are morphing into really doesn't matter as you seem to be definately on the right track. Congrats. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[kneehighs]

Here are 6 things about wearing high heels that WILL make you more attractive to women. I would suggest mentally rehearsing these traits in your imagination as part of a total self-programmed, goal directioned lifestyle. In order in which they would occur in real time.... 1. High Heels are usually an immediate DISQUALIFIER. (she sees you without talking to you) A lot of girls put up a defensive shield or guard around new men they meet. Upon the first point of visual impression, a man in heels disqualifies himself from being a potential suitor to women. It's just NOT their usual steretype of what is attractive and therefore allows you to "fly in under the radar". It helps you get past their initial defensive shields. 2. High Heels give you CONFIDENT body language. (she sees you without talking to you) Straight posture, elegant walk, erect back....etc. The confidence is non-verbally communicated and will develop attraction. You can later set the frame that you are man who thinks for himself, regardless of what other people think. This demonstration of self-reliance can also develop into a powerful attraction trigger. 3. A man in high heels can look HUMOROUS. (she giggles b4 talking or while talking to you). I can't say the number of times I've had girls giggle at my heels. It's almost NEVER a bad thing. Some of you here are probably better at making light humor over that matter than me to be honest. Developing your identity as someone who can make her laugh is attractive. 4. High heels are a great PROP/CONVERSATION starter. If used properly, you can touch your toe box against her toe box and compare whose toe box is pointier. It can also give you an excuse to bend down and touch her heels to measure her heel height against your heel height and in effect, make her more comfortable with your touch. 5. High Heels help you build INTRIGUING conversation. If you can briefly touch upon what it's like to wear heels, what your back feels like, what it's like to walk on cobblestones in Rome, or walk on the ultra steep stairs of the inside of a Renaissance home in Amsterdam, you will intrigue her and develop attraction. 6. High heels enable easy ROLE PLAYING. "so what brand are you wearing right now? You know scratch that, let's go spend the day shoe buying. We can buy lots of matching Loub pumps and Loub boots....and then afterwards to celebrate we can go have crazy sex to release all our built up sexual tension from indulging in such sensual leathers all day! (said with smile on face and warm eye contact).

[malinheels]

Well done kneehighs what a marvelous post i,m sure if you gathered up all the information you have posted here organized it a little put it into chapters you'd have a book i'm sure this would be worthwile reading for any gentle man wanting to wear high heels & attract women & considering your into photography & fashion what a marvelous coffee table book it could be cheers Malinheels

[kneehighs]

^ thanks. Just wait till I get really good at this.

[Bubba136]

Wow, what a great contribution to, and explanation of, measures to build self confidence that any man can practice while trying to attract female attention. Wearing heels already sets apart any man that wants to "beat" the hordes of competition vying for female attention. Especially the techniques for getting past the automatic initial "rejection" that accompanies "weird guy - don't touch with a ten foot pole" stereotypes. While it's great to put all of your "secrets and technique" into a book for others to analyze, learn and practice, keep in mind that there are also some women out there that will also read it and be forewarned to recognize the "come-on's " when some guy attempts to put them into play. But, as you are already aware, any book that gives advice as to how to "get girls" is an automatic best seller.

[kneehighs]

^ that could be true. No book is in the works to be sure. Some thoughts for consideration: 1. an abundance mentality solves that issue. "there are other fish in the sea" as the old saying goes. If a girl doesn't like me, it's no big deal. 2. I've already had girls call me a "hustler/player" and really, it's just a test. I view tests as good signs, because if she wasn't interested, she wouldn't test at all. 3. I'm not advocating the application of technique over identity, which could be construed to be fake. I'm advocating the development of identity as a priority to the application of technique, which will make for ultimate congruence in everything in real life. My goals and identity for example aren't limited to strictly attracting women. My identity encompasses everything from cooking to auto-pilot financial investments, to petting a baby polar bear to attending toastmasters meetings to my daily health regimen. My lifestyle as a result is naturally attractive to women. The techniques are just tools which help promote those qualities efficiently in the overall male/female dating process. 4. there is a time and place for seduction and there is a time and place for platonic friendship. Both are gifts for which I am thankful for.

[dbert]

Kneehighs, Your experiences and advice given over the last few pages of this thread could really apply to many aspects of life, not just dating. I am fairly new to this forum, so haven't read the full background through this thread, but I assume you are pretty (very?) successful in your career as well as with your attraction to women? I'm sure if you show the same confidence and self belief in your working life as your social life that this is a big part of that success. I would imagine that using the lessons you are giving here in a job interview would work very well. Keep enjoying life, and keep passing on your experiences and life lessons to us. Thanks, dbert