Jeremy's heel stories, pictures & thoughts

[Shyheels]

You are still wearing them - it is still your taste and style. It doesn’t matter if you wear them in your office at home or whilst hosting the Oscars, it is still a matter of your own personal styling. Not a hobby. Collecting coins is a hobby. If you were collecting sets of high heels, as a collector, in a similar vein as a coin collector,  that collection might be a hobby but simply fancying heels as a fashion accessory would not be isn’t any more than wearing jeans would be.

[jeremy1986]

3 minutes ago, Shyheels said:

You are still wearing them - it is still your taste and style. It doesn’t matter if you wear them in your office at home or whilst hosting the Oscars, it is still a matter of your own personal styling. Not a hobby. Collecting coins is a hobby. If you were collecting sets of high heels, as a collector, in a similar vein as a coin collector,  that collection might be a hobby but simply fancying heels as a fashion accessory would not be isn’t any more than wearing jeans would be.

You make perfect sense @Shyheels -thanks for the clarification, seriously.

* * * 

On another note - my wife has taken it upon herself to redo our bedroom and today was the day! We moved around some furniture and she was going through her clothes and seeing what's staying and what's going. Her boots are usually on the bottom of her clothes cupboard (other shoes are in another cupboard), and that was the one that got emptied. I was happy to see she is keeping most of her boots, flat and heeled - which is good news (seen as the "whats going" pile of clothes was getting higher and higher!), and there were 2 pairs of boots that she put with my heels, under my bed. I wasn't sure what her intention was, so asked her, and she said pretty plain and straight forward-like "I'm probably not going to wear these, so you can do what you like with them", which is quite cute - she is offering them to me if I want to keep them, albeit saying it in a kind of 'round-a-bout way.  They are both a little higher then "ankle boot" style one mid heel height and the other very high heel, but more of a bedroom heel.... I am re-posting some picture of them below, I wrote about them back in Dec 2017 in this thread above.  https://hhplace.org/topic/24422-jeremys-heel-stories-pictures-thoughts/?do=findComment&comment=372047  and https://hhplace.org/topic/24422-jeremys-heel-stories-pictures-thoughts/?do=findComment&comment=372142  (both Payless, by the way!) 

So I guess this is a somewhat positive development, re our discussion above about acceptance. 

 

[Shyheels]

I would say that is certainly a positive development - a measure of acceptance. Hopefully something to build upon

[jeremy1986]

50 minutes ago, Shyheels said:

I would say that is certainly a positive development - a measure of acceptance. Hopefully something to build upon

Yup - thanks!

[Tech]

5 hours ago, Shyheels said:

It doesn’t matter if you wear them in your office at home or whilst hosting the Oscars, it is still a matter of your own personal styling. Not a hobby. Collecting coins is a hobby.

You would be amazed how many people put "Wearing Heels" as a hobby when applying to join HHPlace.. **Facepalm**

[p1ng74]

I have “boots” listed as one of 3 hobbies in my profile but that is, like Shyheels said, a reference to time spent during free time collecting and shopping for boots.  My actual wearing of boots every day is not a hobby, it is a lifestyle.  

[HappyinHeels]

j-1986,

As Shyheels said a very positive development indeed. Perhaps this is the pivotal moment you have sought. Just keep talking and listening and things are bound to get better between the two of you. HinH

[jeremy1986]

3 hours ago, HappyinHeels said:

j-1986,

As Shyheels said a very positive development indeed. Perhaps this is the pivotal moment you have sought. Just keep talking and listening and things are bound to get better between the two of you. HinH

Thanks buddy, for the encouragement  

[Puffer]

Isn't the best word to describe heel-wearing (or any other regular and reasonably structured leisure activity) a 'pastime'?   Literally, one's chosen way of passing the time pleasurably.

Edited March 25, 2019 by Puffer
typo

[Shyheels]

1 hour ago, Puffer said:

Isn't the best word to describe heel-wearing (or any other regular and reasonably structured leisure activity) a 'pastime'?   Literally, one's chosen way of passing the time pleasurably.

Why? Would you describe wearing jeans as a pastime? Wearing pink shirts as a pastime?

I might chose to idle away an afternoon at a pavement café  whilst wearing a Panama hat, but I would hardly call wearing a Panama hat a pastime. Would anyone? Seriously? Is getting dressed or wearing clothes to you a structured leisure activity? 

Hats, shirts, jeans...whatever; it is utterly no different with ones choice of footwear. 

People need to stop making a big thing of this if they ever want heel wearing to be accepted. You can be damned sure that when women decided to embrace the wearing of trousers, they didn't go about it sneakily, using contrived terms such as ''hobby' or  'pastime' to describe the wearing of them, or consider themselves to be in costume. They simply put on trousers and got on with it, and made the look their own. 

Edited March 25, 2019 by Shyheels

[Puffer]

42 minutes ago, Shyheels said:

Why? Would you describe wearing jeans as a pastime? Wearing pink shirts as a pastime?

I might chose to idle away an afternoon at a pavement café  whilst wearing a Panama hat, but I would hardly call wearing a Panama hat a pastime. Would anyone? Seriously? 

It is utterly no difference with ones choice of footwear. 

People need to stop making a big thing of this. 

If someone choses to spend time intentionally going about in public dressed in a particular and special way - whether shoes, jeans, hats or something else - then that is more than just incidental, and is arguably a planned pastime activity.   If, as a musician, I walked the streets playing my favourite instrument for pleasure, I would surely be indulging in a pastime or hobby?   Similarly, although going out to the shops in everyday conventional clothing is a routine process; deliberating parading in (say) a pair of stiletto boots for my own pleasure is not and is arguably a planned pastime.   I'm not 'making a big thing of this', just suggesting that anything done regularly in a structured and intentional manner can assume the characteristics of a 'pastime' (or whatever word best describes a voluntary leisure activity).    

[Shyheels]

Well, I get up in the morning and intentionally put on jeans. They do not form themselves upon me. I intentionally put on a shirt, socks and (usually) boots when I head out the door. I select what colour shirt I will wear - intentionally.  And I intentionally wear matched socks rather than just reach into a bureau drawer and grab two sight unseen. Does all this deliberation make my getting dressed a pastime? A structured leisure activity? Hardly. 

We all of us get dressed in some form or other every day. It is hardly a pastime or leisure activity. It is part of daily life.

Furthermore, why do you use this loaded term 'parade' to describe the way someone wears heels - deliberately parading. That sounds awfully censorious to me. Certainly judgemental. Can they not, in your view, simply wear stilettos? Just as they would any other style of footwear? Is that an impossibility even to imagine? 

 

 

 

Edited March 25, 2019 by Shyheels

[Puffer]

There is a difference between merely wearing clothes, albeit selected items, for routine activity and going about dressed in a particular way for one's special pleasure and leisure, whether to show-off to others or not.   I accept that wearing one's favoured clothing does not necessarily involve any 'parading' or other overt exhibitionism, but it may do, and I was certainly not trying to be censorious by using the term; it simply means making a personal display - 'promenading' is a rather old-fashioned alternative for the same sort of activity, i.e. showing-off in one's finery whilst 'taking the air'.

Let's leave others to decide whether indulging in a particular choice of clothing becomes a hobby, pastime or whatever.   

[Shyheels]

Again, you're assigning motives to wearing heels that are highly speculative and rely on a point of view that wearing them is in some way a form of costume, a bit of dress-up, or play-acting. Is it not possible, in your view, for a man simply to put on - routinely - a pair of heels, as he would his jeans, coat or tie, and go about his everyday activities? Must wearing heels inevitably be 'a display'?

One could just as easily make the claim that any article of clothing we wear makes some form of statement about ourselves - the pinstripe suit says something different than the tweed sport coat, the open-collar shirt versus the tie , Levi jeans as opposed to Tesco ones, the style of watch we wear, brogues versus chukkas, etc.  Unless you're Beau Brummel, getting dressed isn't the prelude to some kind of promenade. 

Nor is it a hobby or a pastime. It's simply getting dressed. 

Edited March 25, 2019 by Shyheels

[Puffer]

As usual, you attempt to make some very specific and considered comments amount to an absolute statement, and then endeavour to destroy it.   

I entirely accept that choosing and wearing heels, or anything else, can be and usually is nothing more than a routine activity and does not in itself amount to any form of intentional display or 'promenading'.   But it might be, if that is what the wearer intends or observers infer.   Most clothing choices do make a statement, however subconsciously or unintentionally, about the wearer - that is why we have a choice of apparel that goes beyond what is purely modest, protective or serviceable.

My only point, which I repeat, is that some people like to dress in particular clothing (or carry out some other activity), in public or indeed in private, which by its nature, regularity and/or element of self-satisfaction amounts to a recognisable hobby or pastime (label unimportant) as distinct from mere routine.   Nothing wrong with that; I neither condone it or condemn it (as a concept or a practice) but I am open-minded enough to recognise that it exists.

[Shyheels]

Sure - there are people who dress up as Civil War soldiers and Napoleonic War soldiers and those who go to the various mediaeval jousting tournaments held at English Heritage castles around the country each year and yes, to them, such an activity would be a pastime or hobby. Absolutely.

I'm just talking about people who roll out of bed in the morning, get dressed and go off to do their daily routines, dressed however best fits their sense of style, personality and mood for the day. That's not a hobby or pastime or costume; that's just getting dressed. 

The more people - especially here on HHP - persist in seeing wearing heels as something 'special' or a hobby, the less likely it is ever to be accepted by mainstream society.

Edited March 25, 2019 by Shyheels

[p1ng74]

To me, the distinction between a hobby and a lifestyle is not mutually exclusive.  I think @Cali’s original encouragement is to make wearing heels a lifestyle, not just a hobby for your spare time.  Yes, your passion for this lifestyle may result in certain hobbies like going shopping in your spare time, taking pictures, and posting on this forum.  But ultimately it is the lifestyle that normalize heel wearing.  

The same goes for my other hobbies.  Spending a significant amount of spare time learning an instrument can be a hobby, but the full enjoyment of listening to all the music around you and in your head as you go to work and carry on with life is the lifestyle that enriches the whole world we live in.  

[Tech]

Would your life continue as normal if you didn't do this...?

Yes = Hobby,
No = its a chore.

:-)

[Cali]

Since I started this hobby debate I thought I way in. (couldn't for a few days)

I would say that for some of members, the word "hobby" might be a perfect description of how they view their interactions with heels. But if you want to normalize it, even in your own microcosm, then it's a word you want avoid. Here I think @jeremy1986 wants to normalize it in his life, at least at home. I wear heels, have painted nails; these aren't hobbies, it's just me being me.

[HappyinHeels]

I think too many are falling for the trap of trying to find a label for an activity to check a certain box. Who gives a damn if it's a "hobby", "pastime", "chore" or whatever. It is something which we share in common and that's the focus. There is a certain truth to the notion that considering wearing certain items such as heels anything more than dressing will certainly not lead to acceptance by mainstream society. Whatever we wear must be done confidently and with the unmistakable optic it is part of our identity. We demand the same common courtesy which is afforded others seeking their place in the world. How many times have I said it????? Life is exceedingly short so quit wasting time on checking analytical boxes and get about the business of enjoying the life before you. If you don't put the proverbial heel to the pedal you'll grow old and regret not having done everything in your power to enjoy everything you imagined but found ways not to do it. Should have, could have, would have are mantras for losers sitting in taverns, pubs, and cantinas who fritterred away the opportunities life gave them. Successful people of vision and determination pay no heed to them for their goals shall surely never be reached. We all took a step in the right direction by coming to this forum. We all need to continue taking steps in deciding exactly how we'll go about enjoying our life, interacting with others, finding our own style, and just doing the sorts of things all people do.

As I said in another thread on the value of meeting other members here I met or saw again three different members in 2018.

I saw Steve63130 and his wife in August and had a great time talking with his neighbours who are all 70+ years old and none of them judge him and care about labels.

I saw Cali in California and saw his style and see that he is a free spirit living the dream on the Central California Coast. He loves how he lives and doesn't give a damn about labels. He just does his thing.

I saw mlroseplant in Iowa and had a good time sharing a meal with his family. He does his thing and is completely unafraid. His mules are as normal a part of the background in that town as a cornfield.

They are all quite different from me yet we share enough in common I look forward to seeing all of them again. The words hobby, or pastime, or chore would have little significance. They do their thing and hurt nobody in the process. Now that's  something we all should strive to have in common as well. That's my view from the slowly thawing Wisconsin countryside HappyinHeels   

Edited March 26, 2019 by HappyinHeels
missing letter

[Shyheels]

Language is an important tool and if the wearing of heels is to achieve day to day acceptance, either broadly, in society, or more narrowly, within the confines of a relationship, it has to be presented in a routine matter of fact manner. Words matter. Tip toeing around the edges, using euphemisms and coy terms and speaking apologetically will only perpetuate the idea that it is something strange or abnormal.

Edited March 26, 2019 by Shyheels

[maninpumps]

One of my hobbies are wedge heels and I did list it on my profile .  I have always understood a hobby to be something you do in leisure time to relax . Given the fact I can only wear my wedges during my leisure time , it's a hobby for me . Let's face it , can't wear heels in a steel mill .  For anyone that is interested I also collect and build 1/72nd scale WWII planes and ground support equipment  and I am building an HO model railroad set in the 1950's . 

Edited March 26, 2019 by maninpumps

[Puffer]

 

5 hours ago, Cali said:

Since I started this hobby debate I thought I way in. (couldn't for a few days)

I would say that for some of members, the word "hobby" might be a perfect description of how they view their interactions with heels. But if you want to normalize it, even in your own microcosm, then it's a word you want avoid. Here I think @jeremy1986 wants to normalize it in his life, at least at home. I wear heels, have painted nails; these aren't hobbies, it's just me being me.

 

2 hours ago, Shyheels said:

Language is an important tool and if the wearing of heels is to achieve day to day acceptance, either broadly, in society, or more narrowly, within the confines of a relationship, it has to be presented in a routine matter of fact manner. Words matter. Tip toeing around the edges, using euphemisms and coy terms and speaking apologetically will only perpetuate the idea that it is something strange or abnormal.

 

2 hours ago, maninpumps said:

One of my hobbies are wedge heels and I did list it on my profile .  I have always understood a hobby to be something you do in leisure time to relax . Given the fact I can only wear my wedges during my leisure time , it's a hobby for me . Let's face it , can't wear heels in a steel mill .  For anyone that is interested I also collect and build 1/72nd scale WWII planes and ground support equipment  and I am building an HO model railroad set in the 1950's . 

I entirely agree that the goal is 'acceptance', and that 'labelling' male heel-wearing with terms such as hobby, pastime or whatever might be considered perjorative and unhelpful to the cause.   Equally, to describe it as one's everyday conduct or lifestyle might not encourage non-believers to accept it.   This debate took place because of the original suggestion that it was a 'hobby', subsequently countered or supported by others.   Clearly, there is a difference of opinion (and why not?) and no definitive answer.   Any participant can, and does, decide for himself the importance and 'normality' (if you will forgive that somewhat loaded term) of his activity, and thus regard and describe it, if necessary, as being an integral part of his lifestyle and character or as something else - more casual and essentially a leisure pursuit.   One's categorisation and terminology are unimportant and a matter of personal choice.

[Cali]

I look at it from a marketing stand point (after all I was once a Marketing Director), if I want it treated as normal (at least for me), then I must use words that convey that message. I am a full time wearer and my needs may be different.

Remember it's not a bug, just an undefined feature.

[jeremy1986]

1 minute ago, Cali said:

Remember it's not a bug, just an undefined feature.

Love this (as a programmer!) 

[Puffer]

8 hours ago, Cali said:

I look at it from a marketing stand point (after all I was once a Marketing Director), if I want it treated as normal (at least for me), then I must use words that convey that message. I am a full time wearer and my needs may be different.

Remember it's not a bug, just an undefined feature.

Oh dear!   I think you have now lost all credibility, and much of your undoubted honesty and integrity too!   

[Cali]

9 hours ago, Puffer said:

Oh dear!   I think you have now lost all credibility, and much of your undoubted honesty and integrity too!   

Oh no, not my credibility.

I have worn many hats in my life, author, editor, illustrator, research scientist, artist, coach, ..... Marketing Director was just one.

[HappyinHeels]

Though it doesn't pay anything another hat you have literally worn is an SF Giants cap. I guess that is a hobby and a pretty relaxing one at that. HinH

[jeremy1986]

Hi all,

So with my wife putting additional work into spring cleaning... she decided to part with 2 additional pairs of boots.
One is a pair of knee high wedge boots with the modest heel of about 1.5". Suede material (faux) and really cosy to wear. a great fit for the both of us too, and because the heel is hollow, they make a nice click-clack as you walk. Sadly, they have seen better days - one of the heels is broken a little on the side and the suede is coming out a little on the front of one of the boots. I cant remember the brand of them - no names for sure. 

The other one is a lovely pair of high wedge heels - ankle height boots from Payless (Fioni brand). Heel is about 4" if I remember correctly, maybe 4.5", and they have an almond shape toe.  The (faux) suede here it so smooth and soft to the touch and they feel unbelievable on. They are a size 11 US, which is a great fit. The heel is mostly hidden by a fold of the material, which has a slouch effect. These are really unique looking, and have that solid feel that wedges have, a real pleasure to wear. These actually made the cut when my wife went through things 2 weeks ago (see post above), but she tried them on yesterday and said they were tight on her, sadly  
2 pics below - one with the material pulled up a little to see the heel. I'll try put them on some time soon and snap some "on" pics! 

But the good news, is she left both pairs on my side of the room and said "she wanted to ask me what I want to do with them", which was really sweet, and considerate. I looked at them and saw the condition of the first pair, and decided not to keep them  - which I was quite upset about, as they are (were) really nice, but they are pretty sad looking.  The other pair was a no-brainer and I told my wife I will keep them - but still sad they do not fit her anymore.

Is this acceptance? is this encouragement? Not sure (and presumably those can go up and down over time as well sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse) … but regardless, its really sweet of my wife and I really appreciate her giving them to me. Which reminds me, I should probably thank her properly!

 

[Shyheels]

Well, she is certainly recognising your interest in heels and boots, and not doing anything to discourage you - indeed donating some of her old pairs. Can only be a good thing.