The High Heeled Ruminations Of Melrose Plant

[mlroseplant]

With the receipt of my Prada platform mules, mentioned in the "New Shoes" thread, and because I have time on my hands, I got curious about how tall these shoes make me. Because believe me, it is a pretty big step up to slide into these shoes in the morning. But exactly how big? I got out my framing square, put the long side of it against the wall, then turned around and slid it down until the short side of it touched the top of my head, then held it fast against the wall so I could make a pencil mark on the wall, which I then could measure from the floor. I believe this method yields reasonably accurate measurements. So, the good news is, I haven't shrunk any more in height since the last time I did this, which was at least two years ago, maybe it has been longer. In bare feet, I am 65 ¹/₈ inches, or 5' 5", or 165.4 cm. Not a tall guy. Historically, I was about ³/₈ of an inch taller, or about 1 cm, but time has dragged me down a bit. So how tall was I in my new shoes with 5 ⁷/₈" heels with 1 ⁵/₈" platforms? Nearly 5' 10". 5' 9 ³/₄" to be exact, or just over 177 cm. This means that the heel steepness gave me an additional 3" of height, plus the platform, for a total of 4 ⁵/₈", or awfully close to 12 cm of additional height. No wonder it seemed a big step up to put on these shoes!

As an additional curiosity, I tried the same thing in my new Hey Si Mey mules, 5" heel, no platform. The results were telling, but not unexpected. The steep 5" heel gained me a mere ¹/₈" extra height compared to a 4 ¹/₄" heel, for a total height increase of 3 ¹/₈", or just under 8 cm. Geometry is fun!

[mlroseplant]

Sometimes it's difficult to think of something to write, because there is really a limited subject matter to begin with. I mean, how much innovative and interesting prose is it possible to write on the subject of wearing high heels? However, a new idea was presented to me just the other day, in the form of a video one of my friends sent me. It was one of those fashion Dos and Don'ts videos. My friend wanted to know what I thought about some of these rules. I will not specifically enumerate every rule, and one of her rules was not a rule at all, but rather the rolling back of a traditional proscription. She said it was ok to mix brown with black. Jeff B, wherever he is, is appalled I am sure.

Most of these things are just common sense, but I'll list two of my favorites. "Don't wear white to a wedding." I agree with this wholeheartedly, and would go even further and say that one shouldn't wear white anywhere, ever. Because you'll just end up spilling red pasta sauce on it anyhow. Only one out of the ten rules did I disagree violently with, and that was, "Don't wear open toed shoes in the winter." Though she did not specifically say it, I believe what she objects to is when girls wear flip flops or Birkenstocks to run errands, while also wearing winter coats and hats. I am not sure whether she would object to the types of sandals I typically wear.

In light of all this, I wore my new Prada mules to the grocery store, which are brown, with a black trench coat, mainly teal colored sweater, red hat, and a gray mask. Perhaps this is going too far, I don't know. I didn't really get any stares, other than one woman asking me, "Aren't your feet cold?" I answered, "No, not really, and besides, some self-appointed fashion guru on YouTube told me I couldn't wear this, so.  .  . well, here I am!" Which at least got a laugh.

[RonC]

Well, as a largely colorblind person, the mix of colors doesn't bother me at all...lol.  I have to say that those shoes look pretty good on you, which surprises me as they are not a style I generally like.  That said, I'm still not in the market for a pair .

[Cali]

@mlroseplant Wear the white and just skip the pasta with red sauce that day..

[Shyheels]

Wearing white is positively daring The Fates to do something...

[bluejay]

I wear whtie even in winter. I like to wear white and it adds bling to your ensemble.

Happy Heeling,

bluejay

[mlroseplant]

23 hours ago, RonC said:

Well, as a largely colorblind person, the mix of colors doesn't bother me at all...lol.  I have to say that those shoes look pretty good on you, which surprises me as they are not a style I generally like.  That said, I'm still not in the market for a pair .

I thought very much the same thing when I saw them, that they are like, HUGE and clunky looking. The only reason I bought them, the ONLY reason, is that they were dirt cheap, and they were Prada. However, now that they're actually here and I have worn them a bit, they've grown on me. I think they do look a lot better on than they do sitting on a display shelf. Since you usually look at a person's shoes with a downward facing angle, maybe it takes some of the clunkiness away?

_________________________

I see that there are definitely two factions, with very little in-between. Pro-white and anti-white. When I say one should never wear white, I'm actually saying that for humorous effect, with a touch of truth to it. Also, when I say "white," I'm generally thinking of white pants or a white sport coat. Of course, I wear white shirts on a regular, though not frequent, basis. @bluejay, @Cali, I'm trying my best to imagine me wearing anything externally white in the winter. Unfortunately, what I imagine is me trying to get anything out of the trunk of my car, or even out of the back seat. It always ends badly.

[RonC]

7 hours ago, mlroseplant said:

I think they do look a lot better on than they do sitting on a display shelf. Since you usually look at a person's shoes with a downward facing angle, maybe it takes some of the clunkiness away?

Not sure either, but I'm still not in the market for a pair...lol.  You look good in them.  I guess maybe there is a certain masculine bent to the heaviness of them.

 

[mlroseplant]

I have completed a Full and Fair shoe inventory for the first time in over two years, so it's time for some statistics! I have done some cursory counts since that time, but this is the first full cataloguing since 11/22/18. At that time, I owned 56 pairs of heels. I am now up to 80. Most of this increase is due to two splurges, one about a year ago, and one fairly recently. The one thing I do not keep track of is the date I bought the shoes. Not that it really matters, but it is kind of interesting to note how long I've had certain pairs of shoes. It is also interesting to note that I have worn two different pairs of shoes outside very recently that I purchased more than 8 years ago. I guess I knew what I was doing at least some of the time back then. So here are the numbers!

Total            80

Pumps          13    16.3%
Sandals         43    53.8%
Mules            45    56.3%
Stilettos        29    36.3%
Wedges         13    16.3%
Boots              5      6.3%

Heel heights:

≤ 4”                      7      8.8%
>4” - 4 1/2”        10    12.5%
>4 1/2” - 5”        33    41.2%
>5”                      30    37.5%

Heel steepness (subtracting platform from total heel height):

<4”            24    30.0%
≥4”            56    70.0%

Interestingly, if you make this small change in category, the numbers change significantly:

≤4"           41    51.25%

>4"           39   48.75%

 

Evidently, I like shoes that are right around 4" of steepness. In fact, I was curious, so I went back through and counted 43 out of 80 that have a steepness of between 3 3/4" and 4 1/4", or 53.75% of my shoes. Just keeping going here, having too much fun, 22 have steepness greater than 4 1/4", or 27.5%, and 15 are less than 3 3/4", or 18.75%.

There has not been a radical change in percentages compared to years past, so at least as far as heel height, steepness, and style, I have remained consistent in my tastes for at least two years. I feel like I have bought a lot more shoes right around the 4 1/2"+ range without platform than what I used to have, but it's just a feeling. I have no statistical evidence to back that up.

Edited January 7, 2021 by mlroseplant
Accidentally posted before finishing

[RonC]

Wow.  I bet there are very few people in the world that own 80 pairs of shoes of any kind.  Wonder what your total investment was?  Also, just looking at the numbers, I assume that there is some carry over between mules and sandals?  Otherwise, things don't add up.

[Cali]

@mlroseplant you are very brave to count. I'm too afraid to count. 

Edited January 7, 2021 by Cali

[Puffer]

5 hours ago, RonC said:

Wow.  I bet there are very few people in the world that own 80 pairs of shoes of any kind.  Wonder what your total investment was?  Also, just looking at the numbers, I assume that there is some carry over between mules and sandals?  Otherwise, things don't add up.

There is clearly some overlap - and I don't really understand some of the categories.   If there are 80 pairs, then I would expect to see the various basic styles (pumps, sandals, mules, boots - surely mutually exclusive?) add up to 80, not 106.   The other 'categories' (stilettos, wedges) are surely just descriptions of the type of heel - but they total 42, so what heels are on the other 38 pairs - presumably block or cuban heels etc?   Perhaps melrose can explain and clarify.  😔

Likewise, the interesting statistics on 'steepness' would perhaps be better understood if the increments were smaller, e.g. say 3.5" - 5" (or whatever limits apply) in increments of 1/4".  👠

I'm not trying to pour cold water on the results - or the effort melrose has put into compiling them - but it would be of further educational interest to get a little more detail.   (And you never know - there might be a PhD awarded in Canada for a suitable dissertation! 🙄 )

[Mr. X]

You appear to have a shoe fetish like me @mlroseplant  My stats are not as detailed as yours though.  I really need to do another count soon myself.  Last check i was in the 80 to 100 range.

Edited January 8, 2021 by Mr. X

[Jkrenzer]

Honestly i stopped counting at 300.

[Shyheels]

7 minutes ago, Jkrenzer said:

Honestly i stopped counting at 300.

And you’re not even a tenth of the way to Imelda Marcos

[mlroseplant]

12 hours ago, Puffer said:

There is clearly some overlap - and I don't really understand some of the categories.   If there are 80 pairs, then I would expect to see the various basic styles (pumps, sandals, mules, boots - surely mutually exclusive?) add up to 80, not 106.   The other 'categories' (stilettos, wedges) are surely just descriptions of the type of heel - but they total 42, so what heels are on the other 38 pairs - presumably block or cuban heels etc?   Perhaps melrose can explain and clarify.  😔

Likewise, the interesting statistics on 'steepness' would perhaps be better understood if the increments were smaller, e.g. say 3.5" - 5" (or whatever limits apply) in increments of 1/4".  👠

I'm not trying to pour cold water on the results - or the effort melrose has put into compiling them - but it would be of further educational interest to get a little more detail.   (And you never know - there might be a PhD awarded in Canada for a suitable dissertation! 🙄 )

Yes, there is a lot of overlap between categories. For example, I have quite a few sandals which are not mules, and quite a few mules which are not sandals. I am including my rather extensive collection of clogs in the category of "mules." There is quite a bit of ambiguity between mules and clogs when you get to the heel height my collection is. Perhaps a more accurate category title would have been "Backless Shoes."

I included the heel types that I did because over the years, people have seemed to want to know that information. I suppose I could have included with more specificity the remaining types of heels, but let's just suffice it to say the the remaining 38 pairs do not have stiletto heels, nor do they have wedge heels. Actually, the vast majority of the 38 have what I would call "taper" heels--too big to be a stiletto, but definitely not a block heel. Without exception, they are way too tall to ever be considered a Cuban heel.

Oddly enough, one of the places where there is no overlap, but there definitely could be, is 13 pairs of pumps and 13 wedges. It's strange that they happen to be the same number, but they are mutually exclusive, i.e., I do not own any pumps that have wedge heels.

The steepness statistic is kind of new for me, or at least any emphasis on it is. That came about because there is a significant contingent of people who consider platforms to be "cheating," if there is any such thing as "cheating" in shoes. I guess the point I was trying to make is that I evidently have a lot of shoes with steepnesses right at 4 inches, so it skews the numbers wildly depending upon whether you include the 4" measurement with the lower range or with the upper. I just thought that was interesting, nothing more. I would not be opposed to doing a more finely graduated statistical analysis of steepness, if it's something people are interested in. It really wouldn't be too hard.

In the end, it comes down to the question, "Is 80 pairs of shoes too many?" I haven't mentioned that it's soon to be 81, but I have no plans at the moment to make it 82. Exactly 2 pairs at the moment are unwearable by me because of extreme steepness. 2 pair I keep for nostalgic reasons, but never wear. I have several I probably should divest myself of. For example, those round toed Aldo pumps in size 39 really are too tight, and they will probably never stretch sufficiently. Also, I have a pair of Michael Kors sandals which I have really enjoyed, but one shoe has started to squeak when I walk, and one of the heels seems just a bit wobbly, same shoe. I suspect a damaged shank. I should just throw them out, they're not really good for anyone. There are a whole bunch of black shoes in the middle of my east shelf which don't make a lot of sense to keep during this pandemic, but may prove to be worn regularly later, once we get back to normal, whenever that may be. It is likely that the 80 number will hold steady for quite a while.

 

[Puffer]

So, knowing your liking for 'backless footwear' in particular, there is it seems a fair overlap between mules and sandals as you suggest - presumably 26 pairs being double-counted as I can't see how pumps or boots could overlap with either of them, whilst wedges and stilettos overlap with any of the others (being merely heel types).   Am I right? 

I agree entirely with you having a 'steepness' category.   As you realise (but many do not), stated heel height becomes virtually meaningless if it is effectively reduced by a platform sole.   I get tired of reading the often boastful references by various people (including a few here) to their 'six inch heels' etc which in reality are perhaps coupled with a 1.5" platform and thus a very different shoe to wear and walk in, quite apart from style.

[RonC]

22 hours ago, Puffer said:

Likewise, the interesting statistics on 'steepness' would perhaps be better understood if the increments were smaller, e.g. say 3.5" - 5" (or whatever limits apply) in increments of 1/4".  👠

That seems a bit much to ask.  All 80 shoes measured in 1/4" increments.  Guessing @mlroseplant has better things to do.

18 hours ago, Jkrenzer said:

Honestly i stopped counting at 300.

Seriously @Jkrenzer.  Wow, that's an insane amount.  I've probably owned 300 pairs of heels in the course of my 50+ year infatuation, but most are long gone.  I suppose if I would have had the capability to store them somewhere, maybe I'd have that many as well.  I know there are many that I wish I still had!

[Puffer]

49 minutes ago, RonC said:

That seems a bit much to ask.  All 80 shoes measured in 1/4" increments.  Guessing @mlroseplant has better things to do.

...

He had to measure them all anyway - so putting them into a more closely-defined height order was not really any extra work!

[mlroseplant]

15 hours ago, Puffer said:

So, knowing your liking for 'backless footwear' in particular, there is it seems a fair overlap between mules and sandals as you suggest - presumably 26 pairs being double-counted as I can't see how pumps or boots could overlap with either of them, whilst wedges and stilettos overlap with any of the others (being merely heel types).   Am I right? 

I agree entirely with you having a 'steepness' category.   As you realise (but many do not), stated heel height becomes virtually meaningless if it is effectively reduced by a platform sole.   I get tired of reading the often boastful references by various people (including a few here) to their 'six inch heels' etc which in reality are perhaps coupled with a 1.5" platform and thus a very different shoe to wear and walk in, quite apart from style.

 

14 hours ago, RonC said:

That seems a bit much to ask.  All 80 shoes measured in 1/4" increments.  Guessing @mlroseplant has better things to do.

Second things first: Yes, I probably do have better things to do, but no, it wasn't that much trouble to compile the extra data.

First things second: I'll take your word for it on how many things are double counted, but I can tell you that out of the 45 mules, 32 of them are open toed, and 13 are closed toed. Most of the closed toed pairs should probably be called clogs, but at that heel height, what is a clog, really? There is definitely some gray area. In addition to that, I have 11 pairs of sandals which have some sort of back strap.

While I was at it, I noted that out of my 29 pairs of stilettos, 16 of them are sandals, and 13 are enclosed shoes. I have no peep toed pumps, so you can stop that line of questioning right now. Not that I've got anything against them, I just don't happen to own any.

I have exactly one pair of sandals that features an enclosed heel, like a Latin dance shoe. Unlike a Latin dance shoe, this one pair of sandals happens to feature a wedge heel.

Of my 13 wedge heeled shoes, 11 are sandals, 10 are mules. The 2 enclosed toed wedges are both mules, and both you would probably call clogs.

And now, the moment you've all been waiting for, the enhanced steepness statistics. Even they do not tell the entire story, as I wear U.S. Women's size 9. My 4 1/2 inch shoes, though tolerable to me, would be incredibly steep for my size 5 1/2 friend, or yawningly low for a size 14. What I am saying is that this particular chart doesn't really tell you anything unless you're my size or pretty close to it. Nevertheless, here it is:

< 3 1/2"                   6     7.5%

3 1/2 - 3 3/4"        13   16.25%

3 7/8 - 4 1/8"        31   38.75%

4 1/4 - 4 1/2"        25    31.25%

> 4 1/2"                  5        6.25%

Flattest shoes: 2 5/8"       Steepest shoes: 5 1/8"

No, I have not worn my steepest shoes outside. I can't walk up to my standards in them.

Finally, here are pictures of my collection. I do have 5 additional pairs stored elsewhere.

[p1ng74]

I love how we present our shoes on the shelf with the heels facing out so that we can see the best part.  At stores, they always present them with the heels facing in so you can see more of the shoe.

Edited January 9, 2021 by p1ng74

[Cali]

@mlroseplant I notice a big hole in your heels.  NO BOOTS.  What wrong with you. Get some knee high boots and correct this situation at once. 

[p1ng74]

I spy a pair of boots down by the bell of the baritone...

[RonC]

Actually looks to be two pair of boots there.

Curious, are all of your shoes kept in the cellar?  Or do you keep the "currently being worn" shoes elsewhere?

[Cali]

I'm bad (or needed to enlarge to see).  But only two pairs of boots out of 80 pairs...that only 2.5%.    I'm just kidding with you. I know I have no pumps and that might be sacrilegious to some members here.

Edited January 11, 2021 by Cali

[Shyheels]

And I have only boots 

[CHRISPAP]

On 09/01/2021 at 14:07, mlroseplant said:

 

Deuxièmement, d'abord: oui, j'ai probablement de meilleures choses à faire, mais non, ce n'était pas si compliqué de compiler les données supplémentaires.

Tout d'abord, je vous crois sur parole pour savoir combien de choses sont comptées en double, mais je peux vous dire que sur les 45 mulets, 32 ont les orteils ouverts et 13 sont fermés. La plupart des paires à bout fermé devraient probablement être appelées sabots, mais à cette hauteur de talon, qu'est-ce qu'un sabot, vraiment? Il y a certainement une zone grise. En plus de cela, j'ai 11 paires de sandales qui ont une sorte de sangle arrière.

Pendant que j'y étais, j'ai noté que sur mes 29 paires de talons aiguilles, 16 sont des sandales et 13 sont des chaussures fermées. Je n'ai pas de pompes à bout ouvert, vous pouvez donc arrêter cette ligne de questions dès maintenant. Non pas que j'aie quelque chose contre eux, je n'en possède pas.

J'ai exactement une paire de sandales avec un talon fermé, comme une chaussure de danse latine. Contrairement à une chaussure de danse latine, cette paire de sandales comporte un talon compensé.

Sur mes 13 chaussures à talons compensés, 11 sont des sandales, 10 sont des mules. Les 2 coins à bout fermé sont tous deux des mules, et vous appelleriez probablement les deux sabots.

Et maintenant, le moment que vous attendiez tous, les statistiques de pente améliorées. Même s'ils ne racontent pas toute l'histoire, car je porte la taille 9 des femmes américaines. Mes chaussures de 4 1/2 pouces, bien que tolérables pour moi, seraient incroyablement raides pour mon ami de taille 5 1/2, ou très basses pour une taille 14 Ce que je dis, c'est que ce graphique particulier ne vous dit vraiment rien à moins que vous ne soyez ma taille ou assez proche de celle-ci. Néanmoins, la voici:

❤️ 1/2 "6 7,5%

3 1/2 - 3 3/4 "13 16,25%

3 7/8 - 4 1/8 "31 38,75%

4 1/4 - 4 1/2 "25 31,25%

> 4 1/2 "5 6,25%

Chaussures les plus plates: 2 5/8 "Chaussures les plus raides: 5 1/8"

Non, je n'ai pas porté mes chaussures les plus raides à l'extérieur. Je ne peux pas marcher jusqu'à mes normes en eux.

Enfin, voici des photos de ma collection. J'ai 5 paires supplémentaires stockées ailleurs.

Thank you for the pictures, dressing impressive by the quantity

[mlroseplant]

On 1/10/2021 at 6:24 AM, p1ng74 said:

I spy a pair of boots down by the bell of the baritone...

That is actually a 1966 Conn Model 20J recording bell tuba. To be perfectly accurate, "20J" and "recording bell" is redundant, but only to vintage Conn geeks. And yes, there are in fact two pairs of knee high boots behind the tuba, but they are covered in spider webs. I don't know if the resolution of the photo will show it. I haven't worn them since last winter.

@Cali, I have no idea why y'all are so adamant that I wear boots. I used to own a dozen pairs of boots at one time. I am down to four nowadays. Five, if you count a pair of booties that are really nothing more than shoes that come up a little higher on the foot than usual. Who knows, I may break them out within the next couple of months. I just haven't yet.

@RonC, All of the shoes are in the basement except for 5 pair, which are stored in a remote location. I suppose I could fit those as well, if I did a little bit of rearranging, and found another place to put the metronome, but it's a very convenient place to keep it for handy access.

[Cali]

@mlroseplant I'm just playing with you.  We all have gaps or single minded heels., like boots-only @Shyheels. When you have over 50 pairs and no place to wear them (staying home) some do gather cobwebs.

[bambam]

As A sax player, I'm only faintly aware of the confusing mess of horn types, and I don't envy the complications. As a violin player, I envy the sax player in me.