The Shopping Experience

[jetheelsfan]

My first "shopping" experiences ocurred in the fall of 1970.  I was terrified when I ordered through the Wards and Aldens catalogs.  Then came the long phase of "Shopping For..." girlfriend's and wife's present in person. 

 

Finally in the fall of 2012, I did it; I went to a Payless with the full intention of shopping for myself when asked for help.  The nerves were on end as those words rolled of the tongue and out of my mouth to the salesgirl: I need a pair of heels for my Halloween costume. She had to see my nervousness and proceeded to try to eliminate my fears.  She explained they had several guys in doing the same and it was not unusual.  She asked what size and helped me find the answer.  Then she asked what heigth I was looking for and Isaid I had no idea.  She encouraged me to try on shoes starting with the Kimmi, Karmen, Lunna wedge and finally the Kosmic.   I wanted the Kosmic and tried 12 to 13W along with everything in between.

 

Again the feeling of that day began to weigh on me during the summer of 2013.  I noticed a pink pair of open-toed T-strap pumps available on clearance about 25 miles away.  I just "had" to go try them.  Again the sales girl was very helpful and offered a discount to seal the sale as I was trying them out for a "Cancer Awareness Walk."  I still hope to find one available to use  them.  And the thrill of shopping in person and wearing became greater. 

 

It has now become "habit forming" wanting that feeling.  Since November, I have had the pleasure of making visits to shop at many of the Payless stores with a more and more at ease feeling.  I had one salesgirl let me know she was the manager and she would be happy to help anytime and answer any questions.  She was not there when I finally made the purchase of a pair of shoes that she stated - "Those look sharp on you."  I know she was probably just trying to seal a sale but that comment stuck and when they went on clearance, they were still available. 

 

I have tried on various styles, heighths, colors, and materials over the last six months and purchased seven pair total.  I was in an upscale store lately and saw a vast area of display for the ladies while the guys were religated to a single 4 x 6 foot tiered display table.  It is very clear as to why the ladies who have the "gene" have so much fun shoe shopping.  And I would be lying if I did not admit being somewhat envious of that joy.  It has been a fun "hike" along the way and it is more fun in heels.

 

Maybe, maybe the next step is ....

 

... but not sure I can (or want to) do that successfully.

[radiodave]

I enjoy the shopping experience as well.  Most female sales associates figure out they are for me right away, and seem very comfortable assisting.  Some males either figure I'm buying them for me, but a few others ask if they are for my girlfriend and seem a little dumbfounded if I try them on.  Some time ago, before Baker's went through a big change, I was trying on some, and told the young lady that I'll bet they don't get many guys.  She said that they actually do get a few guys buying for themselves.  I even had one young lady at Aldo say that she was jealous of my size 9 feet since she wore a 10.

 

Somehow, it's not as exciting buying online.  It's especially annoying if you buy online and then find out the sizing runs small and you have to return them. 

[jetheelsfan]

Yes, Baker's was a great source of great looking Qualicraft Shoe styles in the late '70 for a reasonable price.  At that time, I still was able to wear a size 10; and then came the fewer when I needed a size 11. I wish I had had the nerve to actually sit down in one of the stores and be served.  But as I remember, most of the SA weremale and there was no way I could face that event and thus some were not a comfortable fit.  But they did have some very beautiful styles I longed for many times.  Glad times have changed - or is it just my perception.

[kickass]

I refuse to try on womens shoes if the sales associate is male. I get nervous around males. i find that the younger girls are the best, they are always willing to help and recomend shoes. they make me feel comfortable.

[bluejay]

I refuse to try on womens shoes if the sales associate is male. I get nervous around males. i find that the younger girls are the best, they are always willing to help and recomend shoes. they make me feel comfortable.

There is a male associate at a local Macy's store, that is very comfortable with men trying on heels. I have no problem with him, as he has admitted to me that he wears heels too, but not out in public.  He's about 40 and loves working in Macy's shoe department. I have bought a couple pairs of heels off the clearance rack from him. A couple of the women associates, also are comfortable with men trying on heels in the store. They always tell me how nice I look in heels, as I'm usually wearing heels, shoes or boots while shopping for heels.

 

Happy Heeling,

bluejay

[SF]

Shoe shopping is FUN!  My first women's shoe shopping experience was in San Diego the early 70's when I was a teen.  I remember it vividly.  I had always liked women's sandals, and saw a pair of flat Bernardo leather thongs at the Walker Scott store.  At that time a lot of the women's shoes only went to a size 9, so I figured the sandals would not fit, but decided to give it a try anyway.  And to add to the "drama" this store, like most others at that time were full service - you had to deal with a salesperson.  I was determined and at the same time nervous as heck!!  

As I looked around I was approached by a lady in her 40's I would guess - about the same age as my mom - and she asked if she could help me.  I pointed out the sandals I was looking at and asked to see them in a size 9.  She went and got the shoes for me, and while I was looking at them said that my mom would really like them, as they were a popular style at the time.  

I told the lady that the shoes were for me, and asked if I could try them on.  Initially she sort of looked shocked, but then smiled and said sure!  I then sat down, in front of her and the whole world and tried on my first pair of sandals in a store in public!!  

As I had expected the shoes were just a tiny bit too small for me.  The sales lady watched as I put the sandals on, she was smiling and also agreed that the shoes were a bit too small.  She apologized and told me not to be disappointed, that some shoes come larger than others.  Overall, she was very nice and helpful, not sure if she felt sorry for me or thought it nice that a teen guy wanted to wear women's shoes.  I did leave disappointed but eventually found another pair of Bernardo sandals (that fit) a few years later!!  Loved those old classic Bernardo sandals...

 

Another early shopping experience was at a store (Payless I think) that was a self service place.  I was trying on a pair of wedgie sandals when the sales lady came to me and said in quite a shocked voice that I was trying on women's shoes, and pointed in the direction of the men's section.  I told her that I knew the sandals were women's but I liked the style of these shoes.  She said something about the shoes looking nice, and asked me to let her know if I needed any more help.  I wound up buying the sandals and wore them for quite some time.  

 

Since those "good 'ol days" I have had a lot of shopping experiences, none negative, some neutral and the rest verity positive.  My advice, get out and do it, most likely you will have a nice time….  Take care all….  sf  

[Steve63130]

Great account, SF. Thanks for posting it.

 

The demons are all in our heads when it comes to guys trying on women's shoes in stores. The sales associates have seen it and heard it all. Just do it and be honest and if you get good service, develop a relationship with her or him, like Bluejay does. Return to the store and ask to see her or him again, to say hi and ask what's new, etc. She or he will get to know you by name and know what you like. You may even get a call when something comes in and they will put it away for you.

 

Nice to see you posting again, Bluejay. I know you've been busy lately.

 

Steve

[radiodave]

I think it was just last year that I was in Aldo and the guy working there was wearing a pair of white stiletto pumps.  It was the first time I'd seen a guy wearing stilettos outside of a heel meet, and he must have had some guts to wear them where he worked.  Haven't seen him there in a while though, I don't know if he still works there.

[SleekHeels]

In the early 1990's I rather nervously went to buy a pair of pink mules. The sales assistant who brought them from the store room was a young guy, and he was laughing as he asked me if I'd like to try them on. I'd react a lot differently now, but at the time I just said "they're not for me". His boss, a young woman, glared at him and pulled him aside to discreetly tell him off before returning to me to complete the sale in a very friendly and professional manner. Looking back, the respect shown by her shouldn't be overshadowed by the disrespect shown by him.

 

Another time, again around the early 1990's, I went into a store and asked for a pair of black patent courts in my size (not to try on or even admit they were for me, that would've been unthinkable at the time). The very young female sales assistant disappeared and none of her colleagues approached me as I waited. I eventually left and never bought anything from that branch, though I did buy those black patent courts from another branch that I subsequently went back to many times over the years because they were always courteous and helpful.

 

About a decade later (still not admitting that the heels were for me) I had a couple of frosty reactions from older female sales staff. One was a cashier at a self-service store who looked at me very disapprovingly as I purchased a pair of white courts. In a different shop the assistant came back from the store room claiming they didn't have my size, but it was clear from her manner that she wouldn't have brought them out even if she did find them. I don't wish to give older female sales staff a bad name, I've had plenty of positive shopping experiences with them too.

 

As for male sales staff, guys like the one in the first incident above seem more likely to be blagging their way working in mobile phone shops these days, while the guys working in shoe/clothes shops often seem to be really into fashion (either they're fashion students or just very trendy). So, while I used to be very reluctant about male sales assistants, that's completly unfounded and my shopping experiences have been positive. I wouldn't particularly go out of my way to find a male sales assistant, but neither would I go out of my way to avoid one.

[Guest]

If a guy gives you a hard time just tell himm that you figured he works there because he likes to wear heels too. It will be very hard for him to convince you that he does not wear heels.

[Matt010487]

Great post jetheelsfan. It's great to hear other stories of shopping as I love shopping for heels and I think I have built confidence in stores like you and many of the guys on the thread have. I tend to travel a little distance from where I live (80 miles or so) and then go shopping in the mall in the knowledge I won't run into anyone I know. I too like chatting with girls in the stores and I have had some great chats. Not too long ago I was in a changing area of a store with one female associate for around an hour and she was bringing me more shoes to try on but it was just so great to talk about heels with some one as I don't get to very often. She said she found it attractive too which I didn't expect! Every few months I'll go for a drive at a weekend and just try heels on, it's great to do and that rush is amazing! The previous heels I bought (posted a few months ago) I bought from a department store and there were all kinds of customers coming through and I must have tried on at least 10 pairs! I may go shopping this weekend now.....

[RonC]

As work was taking me into the city this week, I was all set to do some shoe shopping at my favorite Nine West outlet store on the north side of Chicago.  It has always been a great place for a guy to shop, as it was about the only outlet store that stocked size 12, and being in a neighborhood known for its LBGT population, tolerance was high, and there was never any problem at all trying on shoes there.  I finished my business early and I was thinking great, I can get to the store early before it gets crowded, as I do prefer to do my shopping in a less crowded situation.  Well, I turned the corner on the street where the store is located only to find it gone......what a disappointment.  Then I thought, ok, they had another store fairly nearby that was also an outlet type store, but didn;t stock the size 12s.  I thought maybe with this store being closed, the other might now have the 12s in stock.  So I drive there, and that store is closed as well.  Wow, I am very disappointed.  I have always liked many of the Nine West styles, and the comfort of shopping in that store was unmatched in any other location.  And they are now gone forever.  I guess it's another sign that internet shopping is taking over.  Too bad....really too bad for me.

[hhboots]

When solo shopping, I tend to favor the stores that put all the shoe sizes out on display, such as Famous Footwear, Kohl's, Payless, DSW, and so on.  

 

If I go to a store where they tend to you directly, its usually with my wife which really helps to put me at ease in those situations.  In fact, pretty sure I've not gone to one of those stores alone to try them on, I would somehow feel naked I think.  A lot of those stores tend to have shoes that are more than I want to pay anyway.  lol

 

I still buy about 2/3 of my shoes online though and I have had pretty good luck with it... only a small percentage have ever had to be returned.  Helps to have smaller feet I guess.  

[AZShoeNut]

I love shoe shopping too.  I too have only once had somebody bring shoes to me to try on.  As hhboots says, the shoes at most of those places are too expensive for my budget.  Should my budget ever open up I think I would have to go do it.

 

Best,

Larry

[jetheelsfan]

Sign of the times - jobs replaced by "do it yourself" service.  Started with the "gas pump jocky" and now most stores have "self check-out" - service is becoming a fading staple in retail.  The all powerful computer - but not one computer has bought a product.

[jerbare]

I usually shop at Payless stores. In Sioux Falls we have 3 stores and I stop by often to see if there is anything new. On Friday when I stopped and there was another male also looking at the size 12-13 shoes. I did try to visit with him but he was a little nervous. He did have on a ladies blouse and a pair of flats. After he left the manager and I visited a little and she said that this was the first time she saw him but they have 8 or 9 regulars that shop for heels. One usually stops by just about closing time and often is dressed in a mini skirt. So there are heel weares way out here in the sticks

[Steve63130]

Yep, we're dispersed everywhere, but unless we found each other here in one place, we wouldn't know that others exist. We'd think we were the only heel wearer in the world, and that would make us feel very odd and very alone. The presence of many others who share our interest in heels has motivated many of us to get out there and wear what we want!

Steve

[jetheelsfan]

I could not agree with you more Steve; it has been that way for me for many years.  It is totally acceptable for a lady to look, try on, purchase, and wear without any critical comment smaller (or even larger) mens style shoes.  Payless just finished a commercial push for "Mensware Styles" for the gals.  I doubt I will see the time there will be an opposite push for the guys.  Womens styles are designed to decorate and accentuate the seductive shape of the foot while guys are for functionality.  The push for "equality" sent the direction of foot-ware toward functionality - the lowest common denominator.  Too bad; too sad in my humble opinion.

 

I hope to soon have another opportunity to go shopping (and hoping the manager is there) at the Payless that was so attentive.  I have been in there a few more times and have yet to see her again.  I'm afraid that she found a "promotion" to a different job.  This is the store I hope to make my first foray into public wear.  I guess a call is in order to find out if the manager is still the same person to see if I need to come up with a different plan.

[jetheelsfan]

I stopped at a couple of stores yesterday as hoped.  The manager was no longer there - for what ever reason.  Too bad and I hope the best for her.  When we met, the store had at least 3 and a half linear feet of size 13 shoes on display.  Now it was one foot.  The other store in a smaller market had a limited 1 foot dedicated to size 13 had two pair of black Karmen pumps in 13 and 13W mixed in with the size 12.  I guess it was bound to happen that a great place could only go in one direction when they were at the top.

[vector]

I kinda met one heeler through Ebay.  His auctions sometimes mentioned that shoes male and female sizing.  He is in the US and is a lurker on this board.

[stealhers]

I had a great time shopping I was in my work clothes jeans and skate shoes went to a NOVO store found a beautiful pair of VANESSA ankle boots asked for them in a size ten the lady came straight out with them and directed me to the seats and said "try them on" without any mention that they were actually for me. I tried them on then started to walk around and she said "they look amazing on you and you walk better in heels than I do!" She then told me that the second pair are half priced and was there any others I wanted. She then started grabbing all sorts of flats and low heals me trying them all then we settled on the boots and a classic pair of black suede flats. All in all massive boost to my confidence of trying on in store.

[jetheelsfan]

It sure seems we are probably our own worst about our fears.  I was uncomfortable on my first attempt but the SA was great - patient, helpful with suggestions on styles and fit.  Now I find it much easier and the only "discomfort" I have had was when a mother and her kids walked past me as I was trying a pair. 

[mtnsofheels]

I have been shopping at Fluevogs for quite sometime now and having keen and positive sales people make the experience so much better. Any of the ladies and guys who work there are always getting to me try other styles in boots and or shoes. They are so awesome, of course me buying many pairs also makes a difference for what kind of help I get. Back in 1998 in Seattle I also went in and tried a couple pairs of boots on with my wife, trying them on was a little uncomfortable for me but the store was pretty good with the help back then.

[geot]

I stopped by my favorite Payless a couple of times in the last few days.

 

On Sunday, I was out running a few errands and though I'd stop by and see what's new. I was wearing a black shirt, blue jeans and red suede platform heels. The store was mostly empty, and the local security guard was hanging out in there. He greeted me as I came in and went to the womens 12 & 13 racks. I didn't see anything to grab my attention and the clerk said come back on Tuesday when their next shipment is coming in. As I was leaving, the guard called out to me "were you wearing them when you came in," pointing to my heels. The clerk came to me defense and answered in the affirmative, and i left. 

 

Then yesterday I stopped by to see what was new. As I went in there was another guy trying on heels in the size 10/11 racks, which back onto the 12/13 in this store. The clerk (a different woman than on Sunday) asked me what i was looking for and showed me some of the new arrivals. The other guy just put his guy shoes back on and rushed out, head bowed like he was embarrased to be caught, even though I was trying on heels too. The clerk commented on it, and we then had a short conversation about guys buying heels and she said she gets a lot of men in there since this store has the largest selection of 11+ in the city. In the end the shoes in store - Brash Kailey sandals - weren't a good fit but I ordered as 13W in store and got an extra $4 discount on top of the discounted price. I did try the Fioni Jinx sandals in size 12, which fit just fine, but I'm not really a gold or silver glitter kind of guy or girl. It was surprising just how smaller a size 12 looks from above compared to a 13. Doesn't sound like a big change, but it makes a difference.

 

I finally did think to get my feet measured. Turns out I'm a size 12.5, but wider than normal but not really a full wide size. Payless had a gauge, but it was kept behind the counter and i had to ask to use it.

[bluejay]

I also stopped by one of the Payless stores in my area. It was BOGO on all shoes there. The guy manager, at that store that I stopped at, said nothing really new to show me. He knows that I wear heels and that Payless is a favorite of mine. Unforunately, I went away empty handed. I already bought all the colors, of the "O'Malley" wedge heel sandals, that Payless has.

 

He said stop by after next Tuesday, when they get their new shipments in.

 

Happy Heeling,

bluejay

[maninpumps]

Shopping for new heels is more fun than making the last car payment ! My wife has a thing for purses so it works out great for us . She gives her opinion on heels and I give her mine on the purses. 

[Rick24]

female shoe shop staff, are the only women that understand, us men, My biggest dream would be too buy a pair of boots from a  louboutin store, women who work at womens shoe shops, know that we are just normal men, and are harmless,

[Rockpup]

Rick24: I've been to the Louboutin shop in Miami a couple times, never seem to find what I want in a 40

[Sydheel]

I have found no hassles. The first time i was thinking what do i say for gf, and the sales girls just smiled and said "are they for you?" And i said yes and that was it, never had too much issue. Ive been to windsor smith here in sydney, dina ferrari store, nine west store and about ,,6 in 1 morning at a factory outlet centre. My fave though is wittner. Beautiful boots. And shoes. Staff are lovely. Even when the place has half a dozen girls trying on i still get  2 assisting me. 

It can be such a buzz. I have never had anything even approaching rudeness or sniggering. 

Go for it

[SF]

Shoe shopping is FUN…  A few years ago I purchased from "Marmi" shoes in the L.A. area a pair of really nice toe loop slides called "Melea" with a 2 inch heel.   I came to really like those heels and wore them a lot.  When I bought the shoes the Marmi staff were wonderfully helpful and I later wished that I had gotten two pair.  The subsequent years passed and Marmi did not continue the Melea style.  This year things changed, Marmi actually brought back the Melea sandal again!!  

I called the Marmi store in the L.A. area (El Segundo), to inquire about sizes etc.  As before, the lady I spoke with was very helpful, I told her the shoes were for me and she thought that was neat.  They did not have my size in stock, so a pair was ordered and they arrived a few days later.  The wonderful sales lady I had been dealing with encouraged me to come down and try the sandals when she was at the store.  I arrived a few days later and guess what, the lady I had dealt with was not there - bummer -  the only clerk in the store was male.  I thought to myself "this will be interesting."  I told the clerk I was there to pick up some sandals and he went and got the shoes.  When he brought them to me I told him that the sandals were for me and I would like to try them on.  The clerk smiled - in a nice way - took the shoes out of the box and handed them to me.  I tried on the shoes, actually I tried on two pair of different sizes - several times - and felt very comfortable doing so.  The clerk offered some sizing advice and even stated that even though not many guys come in to try on heels, these sandals looked quite nice on me.  

I would up taking the sandals and the male clerk said that the female clerk I had been dealing with will be sad that she missed me, and encouraged me to return to meet her.  I don't live close and was not able to return, but did call the gal to thank her for her assistance.  She too said that she was sad that at she missed me, and asked me to return, and offered to keep an eye out for similar shoe / sandal styles, if some come available she would call me.  

I highly recommend Marmi shoes.  They have quality shoes and sandals that come in larger sizes, and my experience with their staff on the phone and in person has been wonderful.  Now I have a second pair of my most favorite sandals, just in time for winter !!!  ha ha….

Here is a pic of the sandals……  Take care all…  sf