Well, it’s a start……

[TXGuy]

After all the good advice on the other thread, I took a shot at it tonight. A few things going for me. I’m out of town, flying back early tomorrow morning, trying to keep in my mind that who cares what people think, I’ll be long gone and they’ll never see me again. I went to a DSW at 7:00PM and it was packed, lost my nerve. I knew of a smaller one about 12 miles away. So, I tried that one, also packed, went back to the first, at about 8:30, the crowds had thinned out a bit and I went in. Started browsing the women’s shoes. Spotting the ones I liked, and would try to try on. I was looking for black, platform, stiletto pumps. I found three good choices. All the while I kept repeating to myself: “I have no choice, I must try on a pair of high heel stiletto pumps.” Over and over again. Sort of a mantra to keep from thinking about what the other people are thinking about me. I pulled out the first pair, a pair of Nine West black leather pumps, the name on the box is WNStayLive. I was nervous at first, looked around and pulled the pumps out of the box. Sat down, untied my shoes and took them off, and put the pumps on. An old lady came by at that time and I just gave her a wink. Walked back and forth a bit, then tried on a size just smaller as the first ones were loose. Liked these better. Then decided to push it a bit more, and walked down the aisle to the other side in the pumps to look at another pair by Guess. Tried that pair on and walked around a bit. At this point, I don’t know if anyone was really looking at me. Just thinking of walking in a store in beautiful high heel pumps. Decided on the Nine West ones. Took them off, reluctantly…. Before getting there, I had thoughts of going all the way and walking out of the store in them. Lost my nerve at that point and put my regular shoes back on the check out. No problem at the case register. Had a guy, didn’t ask me anything or make any comments, just another transaction. I was actually hoping for the woman next to him as every time I have purchased a pair of heels in a store with a woman checkout person, she has asked me who they were for. I was already to say that these were for me, which would have been a first. Put them back on in the car though, and went to fill up the gas tank in the rental car before I fly home early tomorrow morning. Man, it was amazing how busy the gas station seemed. Took me a bit of time to pull up, get out in the heels and walk around the car to the other side to fill her up. It was amazing how loud the clicking of MY heels on the concrete was. I was almost hoping the woman on the other side of the gas pump heard it, maybe she did. Then realized, the gas opening was on the drivers side. Had to walk back, going click, click click…. Turn the car around and filled it up. Seemed like I was standing out there in the heels forever as the tank filled up, people walking into the convenience store and back out the car. I didn’t notice anyone take a notice of me. But on the one hand, my Levis were covering most of the shoe. Went back to the hotel, once again disappointed to take MY pumps off and put my other shoes back on. But I work in a conservative area (company wise vs geographic location), I can’t sacrifice my job, so I have to be discrete, but stick to areas I know I will not run in to anyone I know… But I put them back on as soon as I got up to the hotel room and started writing this. I wasn’t as bold as I had hoped or imagined, but hopefully next time will be easier. And there will be a next time! But, I have to learn how get the correct size pumps. Even though these felt great in the store, they are feeling a bit small now….. Oh well, another learning experience.

[Jarl Ayari]

It all comes with time and confidence and as you say, circumstance has a lot to do with it. I have no progressed that am past caring what the general public think of what I wear having been overweight for years (a lot) and having the P*** taken out of me verbally for so long that when I lost the weight and started wearing heels out I just took any bad jibes (of which there have been very few and in fact some very surprising positive comments off some of the most unlikely people) with a pinch of salt. Enjoy the experience and do what you want to do, you will be amazed at how many people only see what they want to see and are blind to whats hiding in plain sight.... Andi

[SleekHeels]

Congratulations! That sounds like a pretty successful first "real" shopping experience.

You must've felt pretty confident to go to the gas station too. I can totally relate to the inner mantra chanting thing, mine was "I'm just a regular customer". I also didn't like really busy stores at first but it's no big deal now - actually I prefer that to a totally empty store because some positive interaction with other customers would be cool. Anyway, you say "there will be a next time!" so you've made the biggest step, the fear evaporates and each time you enjoy the fun a little bit more. Do let us know all about your future shopping experiences.

[scrappycoco]

[quote=Kossitch;279190

Went back to the hotel, once again disappointed to take MY pumps off and put my other shoes back on. But I work in a conservative area (company wise vs geographic location), I can’t sacrifice my job, so I have to be discrete, but stick to areas I know I will not run in to anyone I know…

[SF]

Nice story. I have been heeling in public for several years now. My early experiences and feelings were similar to yours. Good luck and have fun!! sf

[Shafted]

Congratulations, Kossitch! You have taken your first step to a new life in heels. As you get out in heels more your confidence will grow. That's part of the magic I elude to. I would also like to second scrappycoco's post concerning your place of employment. In time you will probably find that the best thing you can do with the people you work with is to tell them up front, so they won't be blindsided later when they happen to see you outside of work.

[docs41]

Great story about your adventure. It gets easier as time passes. Good luck...

[TXGuy]

Hi all, good feedback. Concerning the work part, we’ll see, I know my wife will also not be comfortable with that. She’s not comfortable with my being seen out in the wild as I saw someone else’s post refer to it. Plus, I deal with customers directly, and I’m not ready to gamble on what my bosses may think of this when I’m specifically in this role. If I was in R&D or something, I think that would be a lot different. In terms of getting back on the horse again ASAP, I’ve already started scouting out my next trip and want to get some feedback, especially helpful feedback to make it easier. I made a trip to see what the conditions are like at the time I plan on doing it. Basically, go to another DSW, try on an purchase another pair of heels. For some reason, the fact that I did it in DSW the first time, I feel I have an easier shot at it again. This time, also walking through the fact that after I purchase the heels, go to a specific seat and put them on and walk out of the store in them. I think this is a requirement for my next step. As a stretch goal, go to a nearby mall and make a transit through the mall. I have some concerns here as a lot of floors are tile and I am going to have to get used to the obvious tapping of the heels real quick. But if successful, may be later come back and hit the two shoes stores I pass and browse while wearing my heels. But I have a question if anyone has any opinions. Most of the posts I have read have been about the feedback from female sales women. What about men? Maybe being summer, but there was 3 men to 1 woman in the store and as much as I try to block out my imagination from thinking about their reactions, it does sneak back in. Also, while I'm comfortable walking in heels. I think I have to find a way to boost my endurance on the bottom of my foot to last for a long walk like that. Still looking at/for exercises I can do as I don't have time to walk as much as want to in heels. Thanks

[roniheels]

Congratulations on your outing. It does get easier and more fun the more you venture out in high heels. Planning your outings is also a very good idea. Good luck on your next outing and above all, have fun.

[Thighbootguy]

For some reason, the fact that I did it in DSW the first time, I feel I have an easier shot at it again. This time, also walking through the fact that after I purchase the heels, go to a specific seat and put them on and walk out of the store in them. I think this is a requirement for my next step. As a stretch goal, go to a nearby mall and make a transit through the mall. I have some concerns here as a lot of floors are tile and I am going to have to get used to the obvious tapping of the heels real quick

DSW is a good place to heel. They just love to sell shoes, and a sale is a sale. Payless is also a good choice.

As for tile floors, even the most experienced heel wearers can have problems on a slick floor, especially with a higher stiletto. The answer is to practice, practice, and practice. Most folks let the heel hit the floor first. If that is your stride, make sure you transfer your weight to that foot slowly, just in case it isn’t squarely under you.

Most of the posts I have read have been about the feedback from female sales women. What about men? Maybe being summer, but there was 3 men to 1 woman in the store and as much as I try to block out my imagination from thinking about their reactions, it does sneak back in.

I hadn't noticed that there were more salesmen than saleswomen in any shoe stores. If you meant a general reaction from men, I find that most men, if they disapprove, just give a disgusting look, but if they approve, are too shy to admit that they like heels. I only recall two men ever commenting about my thigh boots.

Also, while I'm comfortable walking in heels. I think I have to find a way to boost my endurance on the bottom of my foot to last for a long walk like that. Still looking at/for exercises I can do as I don't have time to walk as much as want to in heels.

Insoles help a lot.

[CRabbit]

Congratulations on your recent outing and I'm happy you're pushing to make a second trip soon! I've had a mix of salesmen and women, none yet have personally asked who my footwear purchases were for and in a way I'm dying to say they're for me for the first time. That would be a nice milestone in it's self. As for people noticing what I'm wearing, only two security guards have given any indication that they've noticed, both being male, both being slightly disgusted by it. It's not a great sensation I admit, but if they're not man enough to accept a pair of shoes then they might as well be invisible to me. C

[tpryor]

I was encouraged by the stories, so I finally ventured the nerve to go out in my painted nails and heels (two separate trips). The other night, I was wearing a pair of sandals around the house (first picture attached) and my wife came home and mentioned that her car needed gas (my job). I went for the loafers and then thought - NOW is as good a time as any, purple toenails and all. I jumped in the car and went down to the gas station at the freeway and pulled up on the freeway side and proceeded to pump her gas. The pump receipt dispenser wasn't working and I had to go in and get a receipt. The station was packed - a few looks but no comments. I survived!! Today I felt like wearing my newest heels home from work (second picture attached) and noticed that I needed gas as well. So, again I find a busy station and get out, fill up the vehicle, and went home. There was a guy in a Mercedes behind me and a lady and a police officer on the other side - along with the feeder traffic I deliberately parked next to. Again, a few looks - no comments - and I survived again!! Ordered some black leather wedge boots (5 inch heel, 1 inch platform) today. Time to go out for real this time....... Thanks guys (and gals) for all the support. Never been happier.

[Thighbootguy]

Tpryor-

Congratulation on your outings. It’s amazing what we can survive. I encourage heeling is a crowd, but gas might be cheaper away from the expressway.

I’m looking forward to some pictures of your new boots. I suspect your first outing will be wearing them under pants, but when you more confident, consider wearing them over skinny jeans.

Confidence comes one step at a time, especially when your stepping with heels.

[HighNHeels83]

I was encouraged by the stories, so I finally ventured the nerve to go out in my painted nails and heels (two separate trips).

The other night, I was wearing a pair of sandals around the house (first picture attached) and my wife came home and mentioned that her car needed gas (my job). I went for the loafers and then thought - NOW is as good a time as any, purple toenails and all. I jumped in the car and went down to the gas station at the freeway and pulled up on the freeway side and proceeded to pump her gas. The pump receipt dispenser wasn't working and I had to go in and get a receipt. The station was packed - a few looks but no comments. I survived!!

Today I felt like wearing my newest heels home from work (second picture attached) and noticed that I needed gas as well. So, again I find a busy station and get out, fill up the vehicle, and went home. There was a guy in a Mercedes behind me and a lady and a police officer on the other side - along with the feeder traffic I deliberately parked next to. Again, a few looks - no comments - and I survived again!!

Ordered some black leather wedge boots (5 inch heel, 1 inch platform) today. Time to go out for real this time.......

Thanks guys (and gals) for all the support. Never been happier.

Superb! That is great to hear. I am happy for you guys and applaud your courage. I hope to go public heeling soon and take some photos for everyone.

and I agree with ThighBootGuy, tpryor lets see those boots. ;D

[tpryor]

Superb! That is great to hear. I am happy for you guys and applaud your courage. I hope to go public heeling soon and take some photos for everyone.

and I agree with ThighBootGuy, tpryor lets see those boots. ;D

Here is the link - http://www.footnotesonline.com/trendnotes-Fall-2010-How-Low-Can-You-Go/Ash---Uma---Black-Leather-Wedge-Bootie/Ash-Uma-Black/98-10123/Product?ad_id=shopstyle

I will post "live" pictures when they arrive (they are due Thursday)..

[CRabbit]

tpryor: I saw those boots online not too long ago - was seriously tempted to purchase them myself. Stunning boots and almost impossible to tell they're heels at a distance. Let me know how they wear - I might have to join you in that purchase C

[TXGuy]

Frustrating morning! To work myself up to getting out more, I’ve been wearing a pair of Clark’s Dream Harmony booties out. About a 2 3/4 inch heel. (I bought two pair when I bought my wife a pair…) I’ve been getting pretty confident in getting out wearing these. With my normal jeans, the heel is pretty obviously not a men’s, but also not as obvious as a stiletto… I went to a local outlet mall this morning wearing the boots. Looking to purchase another pair of boots, hopefully with a slightly higher heel. To continue wearing out and about. Planning to finally and obviously, interact with a sales person and try shoes on in the store. Early before it got too busy. Not that it will probably be too busy for a while as I figure as most people are shopped out after the holidays… With heart pounding, I walked into Nine West to hopefully find a pair of boots I had seen online. Once in, I said hi to the sales girl who was there. She asked if she could be any help, interested in anything specific? I told her I was looking for a pair of boots for myself. I walked around the whole store and noticed that she did notice that my shoes had heels narrower than the typical man’s. They didn’t have much left over from the season (yea probably bad timing on my part…). And definitely nothing my size to try on. I said goodbye and Happy New Year and left the store. Got outside and realized that no alarm bells went off, I wasn’t ridiculed, or anything else that you might imagine as happening on a first time visit. I immediately walked down to the ALDO store, basically had the same result in terms of available shoes as well as interaction with the sales girl. I then went in to the Clarks store. Where I purchased the boots I was wearing a few months ago. They didn’t have anything of interest. But the sales girl there definitely recognized the boots I was wearing. But once again, no boots in my size. I then walked around to one more store, and once again no luck. I was frustrated at this point, I wanted to find another store to go and walk in with the shoes and hopefully find a pair of boots in my size to try on. As I was leaving, I remembered that there was a DSW a few miles up the road. Ran up there and walked around a bit, but while there were a few things of my size, nothing that I would have purchased. So, I didn’t try anything on in the store. Plus, I was really looking for the interaction of talking to a sales person who had to actually help me with my selection. At that point, I ran out of time at had to get somewhere....

[CRabbit]

TXGuy: Though it's been a few months since you last updated this thread, it's good to know your getting more confident with public heeling. I went through a phase of hoping for (and expecting) attention for what I was wearing, though I naturally feared what anyone might say. I think it's an internal desire for support and acceptance rather than anything else - at least, that's how I rationalized it. Sorry to hear you didn't find anything to your liking. Unfortunately we're now moving into the season of sandals and glittery party shoes so you might find the next 6 months a little more difficult to find those ideal purchases - I know I am already. Chris

[SleekHeels]

TXGuy, that sounds like a successful trip, really. OK you "failed" to find any shoes to buy but it certainly seems like you flew the flag for heelers with dignity and confidence - good on you!

Better luck finding a pair next time.

[w6ish]

fun stuff! am interested in the next adventure!

[TXGuy]

Great Day! I finally had time to go into a store and face my fear, talk to a sales person, and declare that the shoes are for me. That I, a man, need to try them on before purchasing. And it was not that hard. I got there just after they opened so there would not be anyone there except the staff. I had thought of a few ways that it would go, what they would say, what I would say, etc. Assuming that they would say some version of “who are they for?”. To which I would say, for myself. Entered the store, said Good Morning to the one sales person, talked a bit, she told me about their sale, etc. She did not ask who the shoes I was browsing for might be for, and I did not add it to the conversation as this point. And off I went browsing along. Turns out, there was not a shoe in a size greater than 10. Figuring that 11 would have to be the size. So, not to make effort a total loss, I decided I would at least try on a size 10. And to force myself to deal with the issue, I went up and asked the person if she/they minded a guy trying on women’s shoes/heels. She was surprised. But quickly came back with whatever floats your boat. The specific pair of shoes I was going to try was right there as well, so, grabbed the box off the shelf and started to put them on. A pair of basic black platform pumps with a 1 inch platform and 5 inch heel. (Actually, the same pair that my wife purchased for me to wear on our anniversary dinner, but that is another story. ) We ended up talking the whole time, and as others have said before on other threads, that other guys have been in trying on shoes, there is a group or so nearby that like to wear woman’s clothing (I said it’s just the shoes for me)..... I asked how you tell if a pair of pumps fit or not. Even though I was expecting to need a size 11, the shoes did not seem too short. Maybe a bit tight in the toe box, from the side, not from the front as if the shoe was too short, but not hurting tight. And the heel was mot popping out as I walked. We talked about that there will be some stretching etc. She also made a comment that I walked really well in the heels, much better than a lot of the women/girls that come in and try on heels that tall. She also admitted that fact surprised her a bit as well. So, even though I only walked around in the shoes for a few short minutes, and will not know if the leather will stretch or not, I decided to purchase them. Partly because the salesperson was really good at making me feel comfortable, and having a pretty good conversation that ranged over a few different topics. Overall, I considered the shopping trip a great success and once I crossed the boundary, and actually had the shoes on and walking around in the heels, talking to the sales person, the worries went away and had fun with it. I’m not sure when my next shopping trip will be, but I already feel a lot less stress about doing it. I will probably do it once or twice more after a store opens so there are not that many people around. One step at a time.

[FreshinHeels]

Welldone TXguy

[Steve63130]

Thanks for posting that! It's a great example of how the demons are in our heads. Most of the time nothing bad happens. But look out for teenage girls in packs. They giggle a lot! Steve

[HappyinHeels]

TXGuy, Wonderful story with a wonderful ending isn't it? This is what many of us have said would happen and it just happened to you! Now you have a good idea for future trips as to what to expect. While I realize it may not happen the next trip I would recommend wearing some heels, perhaps closed toe or perhaps some open-toe wedge sandals and perhaps without any obviously-polished toes, when you go shoe shopping. This will break in your shoes, give you practice walking in heels, and eliminate any doubt as to whom you are shopping for. Give it some thought my friend. Thanks for sharing your story. I'd also mention that in Dallas is a store called electriqueboutique which has an enormous selection of heels and it is VERY friendly to guys buying heels. HappyinHeels

[TXGuy]

HappyinHeels – I wanted to get back on the horse pretty quick, so I took your recommendation. I didn’t have any closed toe heels that I could wear. I have few heeled sandals, but none that I feel ready enough to walk out in the public in. So, I decided to hit a few stores. I went to a DSW first, looking for a low heeled, wedge pump, hopefully black leather. No luck there. But in browsing, I did find a decent pair of black 3.4 inch wedge heeled booties. Just as I was about to try them on, a sales lady came around the corner and I thought I saw a strange glance. I asked her if it was OK for me to try on women’s shoes and she said go for it. So the strange glance was probably in my head. Tried them on, they fit pretty well, and went to check out. She ended up being the check out person and we chatted a few minutes. Pretty good visit. Put them on in the car and went to an outdoor mall. Visited both a Nine West and Aldo’s wearing the booties. I didn’t really find much that I wanted to buy in the ALSOs, but decided to try something on for the experience. Asked the sales person for my size, actually, asked if it was OK for a guy to try on a shoe first. She said she didn’t care. I probably should have assumed that as I know she saw the wedge boots I was wearing. Unfortunately, the largest size in that store is a 10, and it is definitely a small 10. No luck in the Nine West store either. Chatted with the sales lady there for a short bit. Did not discuss men wearing heels, etc. She also noticed that I was wearing wedge boots. I tried one pair of heels on, but they did not fit either. I walked around the mall for about 45 minutes before I headed out. I want to try it again next week. I’ll hit another DSW. But this time wear the wedge boots in and try a few more heels and see what I end up with. I still need to get more comfortable with other customers around. Getting pretty relaxed with the sales people. I also noticed that the Nine West sales person was wearing a great pair of high heeled wedge sandals. The Aldo sales person was just wearing a pair of flat sandals, but she was pretty tall, so probably doesn’t wear heels as much. A pretty good trip out over all.

[Shafted]

TXGuy, Wearing heeled footwear into a shoe store will DEFINITELY help when buying high heels (I've done it on more than one occasion). It set's you apart as being a serious customer. Who knows, you just might have made that salesgirl's day.

[danielp6406]

Congrats TXGuy. What a great post ! (Reading it was like I was there in the store) The first time trying hh shoes in a store is never easy but it will get easier with time. FYI about Aldo, their closed shoes are very narrow but most of their boots are OK. I'm a regular customer to Aldo and I also wear women's size 11. Well done !

[rxrenesis]

TXGuy, Wearing heeled footwear into a shoe store will DEFINITELY help when buying high heels (I've done it on more than one occasion). It set's you apart as being a serious customer. Who knows, you just might have made that salesgirl's day.

I agree wearing heels when shoe shopping really helps.

rx

[TXGuy]

I wanted to get back out there, so today during lunch I ran down to a local mall. I wore the suede wedge heeled booties I purchased a week ago. While my jeans covered up a lot of them, they are definitely a feminine style and can definitely see that I’m wearing over a 3 in heel. I was nervous getting out of the car. Even though I’m getting better at walking into a women’s shoe store and looking around, being around people is another story. Instead of trying on heels in a store, my goal was to walk around in a crowd. I jumped out of the car and started walking towards the entrance before I could chicken out. Telling myself that I can do this…. Walked into the mall and headed for the food court. I figured it being lunch time that would have the biggest crowd. And yes, definitely the largest populated space. Men, women from work, mothers with children, retired people. I headed right through the crowded section along the front of the food “restaurant”. Through people standing in line, employees asking me to try samples of food, etc. Didn’t run or rush, just walked casually in my heels. No one freaked out; no one yelled “There’s a Guy in Heels!!”…. I did see a few people who were sitting down and eating notice my shoes and follow them a second as I walked by. But no “looks” that made me feel anything about it other than they noticed I was wearing 3 inch wedge heels. Walked all the way around the mall. Walked past the Nine West, Bakers, and ALDO store, sort of scouting out a future trip where I’ll stop in to try on a pair of heels and maybe purchase. Although, I’d rather try on a pair of boots to buy for walking around. Not exactly the season for those. It’ll be a while before I walk around in the pumps I purchased recently, or feminine sandals. Overall, a pretty successful trip. My first walk through a crowd of people and I survived to heel another day.

[Shafted]

Sounds like you are starting to relax already, TXGuy. From here it only gets better (they may be a few minor bumps along the way). Good for you, man!