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womenshoelover

Straight or gay?

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We have many vendors and sales reps who frequent our business and some of them have the exagerated female mannerisms and theres no doubt that they are gay. I cant recall anyone commenting on any of them.

"No doubt?" Just as in there's "no doubt men who wear heels are gay?"

I know several happy, healthy, married heterosexuals who have "exaggerated female mannerisms" which include the hand gestures, inverted hand on the hip, a thin high voice and the proverbial "gay" lisp.

I also know several people who attend our church regularly who're most certainly not Christians - by their own admission (and actions). I even know a "black" man who's actually 3/4 Caucasion. His Mom is half-black, his Dad is pure Scottish! His biggest pet peeve is when people correct various applications and reports that require him to list his race. He always puts "caucasion," and the clerks keep changing it! I know a lady who's 3/4 Indian (her parents were born in India). She was born and raised in the U.S. and doesn't look Indian at all (and certainly doesn't sound like it).

You really can't label anyone as anything based on outward appearances alone, including race. The old expression, "you can't judge a book by it's cover," holds true for mannerisms, skin color, and choice of clothing style, including heels.

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It's truly sad that so many people, often horribly uniformed or just plain ignorant equate clothing with sexual orientation, which is totally ridiculous. That sort of thing indicates a sadly narrow mindset which, for some, is set in concrete and will never be changed.

Early on in my public outings in heels, I'd been asked if I was gay, always polite and patient, I'd reply that I'm not, and when people ask why I'm wearing women's shoes, I'd reply that they're not women's shoes when I wear them, or, when I'm in a comical mood: "Sshhh! If you don't tell women, I won't either!"

Good one!

I've rarely been asked about it, but I do remember the first time my sister and law stayed over for three days shortly after I began wearing heels...

My wife wasn't hesitant to tell her about it, because she's quite open-minded. Nevertheless, she just plain forgot, and the day after she arrived, I wore my sandals (2.5 inches) to breakfast.

I thought my wife had told her the night before because they stayed up until after 11 (we go to sleep as a family around 7 or 8pm, a habit we began after our son was born).

So here I was, up before dawn, preparing breakfast - french toast, turkey bacon, and scrambled eggs!

As the sky began getting light (about 5 am, that time of year), my sister-in-law walked into the kitchen in her robe, bleary-eyed.

We talked for a couple of minutes while she drank coffee, then I got up to turn the french toast. That's when she spotted my heels.

"Um, Gene'? Why are you wearing those things?"

"They help my ankle."

"But they're women's shoes!"

"Not on me, they're not!"

"Hmph. Just don't go crazy on my sister, you hear me?"

I chuckled and said, "of course not - she knows all about them."

"She does?"

"Of course - we don't hide things from one another. Besides, it was her idea."

"It was???"

I changed the subject, and when my wife came in about 15 minutes later and saw the expression on her sister's face, she quickly explained.

But for a few moments that morning, things were indeed a bit strained - I wasn't quite sure what my sister-in-law was going to say or do!

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JeffB:-) Congratulations on advancing to your 4 INCH SANDALS. What took you so long? How come you didn't celebrate in the thread titled, "Celebrate your high heel post promotion here"? Cheers--- Dawn HH

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jeffB: I love your response to the comment that you are wearing women's shoes, particularly the second part about not telling "the women." I have used the first part but the seond is a real ice breaker. It demonstartes that you did not take their comment seriously and so they should not either. DawnHH: Am myself getting close to a "promotion." Cannot speak for others but I often miss days of logging onto and contributing to this forum due to hectic employment schedule (long days). It greatly reduces the number of posts coming from my corner of the country. I miss out on the progression of threads too. I would not consider reading or posting during breaks at work on those long days as it is against company policy to use computers for "personal business", not to mention that Internet activity can be a matter of pulic record.

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Hopelessly heterosexual, married with two daughters - and I LOVE womens shoes (sandals). I beagn wearing womens shoes (flats) when I was 15 or 16 - hid it from my parents. Went away to college and began to wear the flats all the time. About 7 years ago I bought a pair of hh thongs and went public in heels. Now I have about 30 pairs of flats and 15 pairs of heels. My wife is OK with my heels but has asked me if I am concerned if others think I am gay. My response, who cares? I like the look and feel of womens shoes, both flats and heels. Mens shoes are generally ugly and just don't suit my style. I just wish more guys wore heels in public. My two cents.... SF

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It can be a bother that people often equate clothing with gender, as if one is exclusive of the other. That men should only wear men's clothes and women should only wear women's clothes, and any crossing of those boundaries would label you as weird----or worse. I won't go into that tired old bottle of whine about women boldly wearing men's clothes and shoes without raising so much as a peep of fuss and how men catch holy hell for wearing women's things. And, of course, shoes seem to be the biggest bugaboo, that you'd be labeled gay because of footwear. That just doesn't make a lick of sense. Education of the masses about the lack of distinction between clothing, gender AND sexuality is important, and neccessary if our little movement is to gain steam and we gain acceptance. Or at least lose the stereotyping.

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SF:-) I also wish that more men would wear high heels in public, especially around my area as it seems that I am the only one so far. I have seen a couple of men in cowboy boots but with a 1½" heel. I don't consider wearing a 1½" heel as wearing high heels. To me, that is like wearing flats. Cheers--- Dawn HH

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well, i agree that wearing shoes is just a fashion choice... has nothing to do with your sexual orientation...years ago wearing a couple of earings (in both ears) looked gayish in men to some people, now a days it's just a fashion thing... I love wearing woman clothes,heels & make up often & that doesn't define my sexual orientation...i'm BI & has nothing to do with the fashion... cheers! :drinking:

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Raponchigo:-) I also love wearing women's clothes, heels, and make-up. I also enjoy dressing as a male, putting on my heels, and doing some street-heeling in public. :D Cheers--- Dawn HH

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Agreed that wearing woman's clothes does not make you gay, It's society's view. I also just happen to like wearing heels and feel that its unfair that society does not allow us to do it freely. Luckily, im quite passable and often spend a week wearing only fem clothes and heels every day. That doen not make me gay! But it is a wonderful adventure being able to wear heels for a whole day in public!

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Dianne:-) I quite agree with what you say about society and wearing fem clothes and heels. Go to it and wear what you are comfortable with and enjoy it to the fullest. I and a lot of other hetro, (Non-gay), fellows do also and post about it here on the Forum. Cheers--- Dawn HH

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genebujold wrote:

The vast majority of psychological research on this issue (of which I'm intimately aware as a certified counselor) is that the incidence of crossdressing among the heterosexual male public is statistically equal to the incidence of crossdressing among the homosexual male public.

Elsewhere, Anita quoted a study that said aproximately 5% of all males crossdressed, then Gene said he thought that the figure was vastly underinflated.

I would like to write a letter to my local newspaper and would like to be sure of my facts, particularly the one in the quote. The letter would read something to the effect of:

The vast majority of psychological research has shown that the incidence of crossdressing among the heterosexual male public is statistically equal to the incidence of crossdressing among the homosexual male public. Given that such studies also show that approximately 5% of all males crossdress, and that ~15% of males are homosexual/bisexual, this means that only about 1% or less of the male population is both gay, and crossdresses. Put another way, anyone who assumes that a man wearing women's clothing is gay, has a 99% chance of being wrong!

Question (particularly for Gene): Is there something haywire with my logic somewhere? If so, what would the correct figure be? Thanks, AJ.

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genebujold wrote:

Elsewhere, Anita quoted a study that said aproximately 5% of all males crossdressed, then Gene said he thought that the figure was vastly underinflated.

I would like to write a letter to my local newspaper and would like to be sure of my facts, particularly the one in the quote. The letter would read something to the effect of:

The vast majority of psychological research has shown that the incidence of crossdressing among the heterosexual male public is statistically equal to the incidence of crossdressing among the homosexual male public. Given that such studies also show that approximately 5% of all males crossdress, and that ~15% of males are homosexual/bisexual, this means that only about 1% or less of the male population is both gay, and crossdresses. Put another way, anyone who assumes that a man wearing women's clothing is gay, has a 99% chance of being wrong!

Question (particularly for Gene): Is there something haywire with my logic somewhere? If so, what would the correct figure be? Thanks, AJ.

About 5% ever cross-dress in public. Upwards of 25% to 40% cross-dress in private.

The figures for those who cross-dress and who're gay are accurate.

Given that such studies also show that approximately 5% of all males crossdress, and that ~15% of males are homosexual/bisexual, this means that only about 1% or less of the male population is both gay, and crossdresses.

Erp, flagrant statistical error, there...

You incorrectly assume mutual exclusivity...

A correct wording would be:

1. Approximately 5% of all males crossdress in public

2. The percentage of those who crossdress in public is the same for the heterosexual population as it is for the homosexual population.

3. Between 25% and 40% of all males crossdress in private.

4. The percentage of those who crossdress in private is the same for the heterosexual population as it is for the homosexual population.

5. Thus, the liklihood that of a man being gay has little, if anything, to do with the fact that he crossdresses, either in public or in private. His chances of being gay are the same as that of the general population.

To quote Lillie Tomlin, "and that's the truth, ppppbbblllttthhssss!"

Good morning, folks - it's early (well, late, now), and I've got to go to work.

- Gene'

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Well, I read this toppic with suspence, even though this thread has died a bit in the last few years. Probably it sprung up somewhere new, but I fout it now here and that's why I post -here. As for me, I'm 100% straight. I do occasionaly cross-dress at home. Otside untill now only on carnaval - But then really heavy! :-) ok, ok. Well "I once had a girl or should I say, she once had me". Anyway she was quite dominant or a "power-woman" - only to state it more subtle way. I was really afraid of confessing her my love for high heels to her, whilst I even managed to pursuade her to wear balletboots for occasional sex. She hated but she just did it for me and she said this openly. You can imagine that it is a bit more difficoult to retain the errection when you know that your couterpart is just doing it reluctantly. When I suggested if I should wear them because it would be fun for me, she almost freaked out. I think if I would have stayed with her, and confess her my weekness for high heels, she would either leave me or, I would become her cucold-husband probably. Anyway, I left her. I met a gorgeous brasilian girl, who was much easier with this theme. She was quite open and did not mind me wearing high heels of different hights inside and outside. Infact sometime she got angry at me why I bought myself a pair and for her none in the same style? Needless to say, she caught my heart, I married her and now our 2nd kid i on the way. However, through the times we have accumulated about 100 pairs of high heels which we have now deposited in a specially constructed wardrobe. About a year ago, my wife's friend from her language class (also a brazilian girl) visited us. At that time I have stopped hiding my passion for high heels infront of people who visit us, so a few pairs were lying on the flor. When she learned that I also use high heels she was eager to see me walk. So i did. Her responce? - Can you also teach me to walk like this? About 3 months later her visa was ending and she asked us if she could move to us in order to get a different visa. We agreed and as a welcome gift she recived a pair of TOPSHOP high heels. Now we almost live as a happy family of 4(,1) and I cannot stop thinking how lucky I am to live with two gorgeous Brazilian girls who share my passion for high heels. They continue learning German, and we share the burdon of rasing kid(s) together. Downside to it is of course that my expences for heels rose a bit, but to see the girls in 6 ans 7 inch heels and even in ballets now and then, repays the extra work to full extent. Long story short - stick to your belive, be yourself and be good to others. Then no mater what wear, people will respect and treat you good as well.

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Great story and advice Acin75. 2 beautiful women running around the house in 7" heels! You have my envy......

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For me my sexual orientation is one of the few things i never had doubts about. I'm very fond of women, they are gorgeous and interesting `creatures`. :unsure: I might have a little more feminine brain than the average guy, but i don't feel about men as i do about women. Not that i'm judging! Everyone should be able to do as they want, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone. My love for heels is unrelated to my sexual orientation. Wearing pantyhose with heels was something i resisted for a long time. In my mind it was crossing a line, i don't see myself as a crossdresser. But pantyhose give so much more comfort and my female friend convinced me i should try them and now i'm hooked on hold-ups. But thats as far as it goes for me, i don't feel the need to wear skirts or tops. I've thought about that if it could be a next step that i didn't want to admit. But it just isn't me, i prefer jeans and a nice shirt with my heels. An odd look maybe since i prefer very feminine heels. I read some replies about heels being a fashion choice. For me not really i guess, i just love heels and never gave the 'mix and match' a lot of thought. I've never worn heels outside yet so this might change if i ever get the guts to do so.

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ALL, I think I know why this thread died in 2004.....people got past irrelevant labels and moved on. Asking a man who buy high heels his sexual orientation is akin to asking a woman wearing workboots her sexual orientation. It would be awkward and pointless. Smart stores welcome ALL customers and smart people embrace each other's differences. A man who dons heels and a woman who sports very short hair and wears a baseball cap are presenting themselves to the world as they feel comfortable and are not interested in being quizzed about sexual orientation. They are VERY interested in dignified human interaction. A variation of what Martin Luther King once said still holds true;" judge not the person by the color of their skin (or the clothing that covers that skin) but by the content of their character." HappyinHeels

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Agreeing with HappyInHeels. I don't really see the need for labels etc, I think it's silly that people worry about that sort of thing. However... Just to add my bit to the thread, I'm a straight male. I feel no attraction to men whatsoever :unsure:

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HappyInHeels, great post. I agree. In the spirit of the original post, I'll add this: Straight. I'd like to be married to a cute, petite woman and have kids. So my like of women's shoes is separate from my sexual orientation as it were. I appreciate how they look on women, and I know more about heels than many men. I could be accused of 'checking out' women's choice of footwear as a sort of checklist for future dates (and sometimes what to look for in shoe sections in stores).

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For me it is straight. I am quite lucky and happy to have a wife that is more than understanding as well as 2 step-daughters who are supportive and understanding. I also have the great luck of an understanding niece as well.

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Wearing heels does sort of bring out the feminine side,but I love the ladies and they look absolutely stunning in sexy heels,there is a god!.

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ALL, I think I know why this thread died in 2004.....people got past irrelevant labels and moved on. Asking a man who buy high heels his sexual orientation is akin to asking a woman wearing workboots her sexual orientation. It would be awkward and pointless. Smart stores welcome ALL customers and smart people embrace each other's differences. A man who dons heels and a woman who sports very short hair and wears a baseball cap are presenting themselves to the world as they feel comfortable and are not interested in being quizzed about sexual orientation. They are VERY interested in dignified human interaction. A variation of what Martin Luther King once said still holds true;" judge not the person by the color of their skin (or the clothing that covers that skin) but by the content of their character." HappyinHeels

The thing is that this is applied to men only.At least in my country there is NO problem for a woman to wear all male-looking apparel or have "masculine" interests while the other way around is not so possible without social negativity.

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While growing up, when I realized I had womens shoe fetish I've had to fight the feelings of whether I am straight or gay. I've come to understand that a shoe fetish has nothing to do with one's sexual orientation, but even with that understanding there are still days I wonder. Any other guys have this conflict?

I had same problem until I came here and found this place of similar thinking souls. Now I know it has nothing to do with sexual orientation, hence I just adore women so much that I like even their clothes, specially shoes and nylons... Maybe this love for shoes and everything make me feel closer to them. Don't know yet.

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straight but love wearing womens lingerie and especially high heels

When you say lingerie, is that a sexual thing? I've worn a pair of panties to work, simply because it was laundry day and my Mrs was wearing my clean boxers. I found no sexual thrill from it, but they were comfortable.

I don't think I will ever understand the apparent link between sexuality and clothing. If you like it, and it's comfortable, wear it. I think it was on this forum that I read around 40% of men 'crossdress' in private...Does that make 40% of men gay? Probably not.

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Where have you seen that 40% of males privately crossdress?

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Crossdressing has nothing to do with sexual preference. It's a myth. Most crossdressers are straight, just like in the general population. Steve

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Where have you seen that 40% of males privately crossdress?

I think it was on this forum, but I can't seem to find it. I might have the figure wrong...I knew I should have saved it when I saw it. In my search for the page, I'm finding a different forum saying 1 in 3 have tried it, and 1 in 10 liked it enough for it to become a 'habit'. I'm guessing there are a lot of conflicting numbers around.

I'm aware that a lot of crossdressers are straight, and that's the point I'm making. I will never understand why people immediately connect the wearing of clothes/shoes to a sexual preference.

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