The High Heeled Ruminations Of Melrose Plant

[mlroseplant]

I've got this boy, 10 years old, in the 5th grade, who has never shown any interest whatsoever in shoes of any kind. He'll wear out a pair of shoes until they're barely holding together, then complain when we want to buy him new ones. Suddenly, two nights ago, he figured out that his feet are really only a size smaller than mine, and that he can wear my shoes without too much trouble. So he's been walking up and down the driveway, back and forth, back and forth, practicing walking in heels of various sorts. His mom is kind of freaking out. I told her to keep calm, just let it ride, he'll probably lose interest in a week or two. I truly believe that this is likely to be the case. However, he did say he had plans to wear my Dansko clogs all winter. Who knows? Incidentally, @HappyinHeels has actually met this kid. Twice. So I'm curious to hear his take on this especially.

Edited September 10, 2019 by mlroseplant
Further thoughts

[pebblesf]

I understand his Mom's concern, she does not want the boy to be taunted/teased...  But, I would agree, let him experiment, I'm sure he is not running off to school in pumps.  Might just be a phase, who knows....But, it is best to treat it like a normal thing and not make a big deal of it...

Is this boy your son, a relation, or just a neighbor/friend?

[HappyinHeels]

Ah yes, I do know this kid. My view is if his current interest in heels comes anywhere close to that of general mechanics then the kid will become as fond of them as you. Small engines under repair in the garage and heels under the clothes in the closet. He is gifted in mechanics and I think this interest in heels may be curiosity at a very impressionable age as a result of seeing how much joy it gives you. It may pass or not but I doubt it will go away completely. Remember he's seen at least two dudes in heels now so there's a certain legitimacy to him. That's my take. I hope that helps. HinH 

[pebblesf]

Love wearing my boots while working on outboards in the basement....Enjoying pictures of lost friends/loved ones, listening to special songs adds even more peace to my work...

[mlroseplant]

12 hours ago, pebblesf said:

I understand his Mom's concern, she does not want the boy to be taunted/teased...  But, I would agree, let him experiment, I'm sure he is not running off to school in pumps.  Might just be a phase, who knows....But, it is best to treat it like a normal thing and not make a big deal of it...

Is this boy your son, a relation, or just a neighbor/friend?

He's my son. The mom in question is my wife. My wife, as I have previously mentioned, is tolerant, but not by any stretch of the imagination enthusiastic about my choice of footwear.

[pebblesf]

3 hours ago, mlroseplant said:

He's my son. The mom in question is my wife. My wife, as I have previously mentioned, is tolerant, but not by any stretch of the imagination enthusiastic about my choice of footwear.

I dream of my better half being "tolerant"....

So, he is your son....Has he ever asked you about your footwear choices?    I wonder if he has ever asked his Mom, and how she answered him....

Edited September 11, 2019 by pebblesf

[mlroseplant]

Last night, there were no high heels. It was no big deal, he just didn't put any on when he came home from school, didn't say anything about it, didn't ask about it. It's not like he didn't have any exposure. As you can see, the tuba has been banished to the basement because it drives Mama crazy, and that's where my shoe collection is. Perhaps he was distracted by his new etude book I just bought him, which luckily he likes a lot better than his school band book. I told Mama to just ignore it and it would pass. You think she ever listens to me?

7 hours ago, pebblesf said:

I dream of my better half being "tolerant"....

So, he is your son....Has he ever asked you about your footwear choices?    I wonder if he has ever asked his Mom, and how she answered him....

He's never really asked me about it before, or if he has it's been years and I just don't remember. I suppose if that's all you've ever known, you don't really think about it. I can tell you what Mama answered if he ever broached the subject with her. "Because your Daddy is CRAZY!" Or whatever the equivalent of that is in Vietnamese.

[pebblesf]

8 hours ago, pebblesf said:

I dream of my better half being "tolerant"....

The tuba, oh brother, you must be great parents....  My parents wouldn't even tolerate me running my trains in the basement, "those damn things mess up the TV...!"  Well, it is nice too see a youngster enjoying something besides a phone...

[jeremy1986]

wow @mlroseplant - that tuba is bigger than him! 

And re your son's heeling - well, if we tell ourselves its normal and (should be) acceptable, then that's the message we should give and empower the kids with too - otherwise you're just giving the message that he's doing something wrong. 

[mlroseplant]

22 hours ago, pebblesf said:

The tuba, oh brother, you must be great parents....  My parents wouldn't even tolerate me running my trains in the basement, "those damn things mess up the TV...!"  Well, it is nice too see a youngster enjoying something besides a phone...

I don't know about us being great parents, but we do have a very unusual kid. He does get some screen time in to be sure, but he spends a substantial amount of time doing things here in the real world, and most of that is working out in the garage getting dirty--and driving his mama crazy. He's good at that part.

22 hours ago, jeremy1986 said:

wow @mlroseplant - that tuba is bigger than him! 

And re your son's heeling - well, if we tell ourselves its normal and (should be) acceptable, then that's the message we should give and empower the kids with too - otherwise you're just giving the message that he's doing something wrong. 

The tuba weighs 28 pounds, or nearly 13 kg. It's unusual in the fact that it's a vintage instrument, made in 1966. It is, as far as I know, one of the largest regular production tubas ever made. The forward facing bell seems to be an American thing of that period. I have never seen a British or Continental instrument made that way. Of course, my son found this thing on ebay and brought it to my attention. He never lusted after a shiny new Yamaha or Besson or Mirafone, he wanted this giant old beat-up Conn. Don't get me wrong, it is a great sounding horn, but it looks almost comical by today's standards. In other words, it's perfect for our family.

I can tell by his demeanor and his attitude that my son doesn't see anything "wrong" with guys wearing heels, but he is acutely aware that he may will get some static from his classmates should he ever meet them unexpectedly while wearing heels. I haven't heard him say anything about his classmates' reaction to my wearing heels for a couple of years. I guess that's good?

[HappyinHeels]

I think this is where invoking some history is in order. Some 500 years ago high heels were conceived by men for use by men. It wasn't until much later that women starting using them along with men until men discontinued wearing them except for about 8 years in the 1970's. Since it is most likely the most ignorant to shoot off their mouth then some ready education is usually the best method at quelling the static. There is something disarming about a ready-to-go  and informed response especially if the perpetrator has no clue about it. Those who continue to give static may ultimately be dealt with in other ways. Remember your son already said, in my presence, that he sees how much joy it gives you so he has already thought about it. He's very observant and quite articulate. Two qualities which should serve him very well in life. HappyinHeels

[mlroseplant]

More instrumental action at our house this week. To complement our vintage Conn tuba, we got a vintage Conn euphonium (pictured below) which I am really excited about. The horn worked and sounded sweet right out of the box, and we are both having fun learning how to play the thing. After two days of practice, we decided we were good enough to record a video, which we did in two takes. This screenshot is from the first take, and was rejected for three reasons: 1) I didn't realize the videographer was shooting vertically, which drives me nuts unless there's a very specific reason to do so, 2) The videographer didn't realize that by shooting vertically, it showed my heels while playing, which drives her nuts and forces her to make up lies to answer awkward questions, and 3) we screwed up pretty badly the first time anyway. However, it did provide a nice screen shot suitable for posting here.

Shoes are Steve Madden Crunk. I have no idea how or why they came up with that name, but they unfortunately did. One of my very favorite sandals in the "Candies" style. Denim shorts are Celebrity Pink, and are one of the few pants/shorts I own that are not modified in any way. These are my "long" shorts, and I like to wear them to practice various instruments for comfort reasons, where my legs might stick to a chair or bench wearing shorter shorts. I think these have about a 7" inseam, which puts them about 3" above the top of my kneecap when standing. I don't feel like that's the best look for my short-ass legs, but it's practical for certain things. Even when worn with slightly feminine flat sandals, I don't get a second look ever when wearing these.

I need to figure out a different way to place my feet when playing tuba in heels. This screenshot looks very weird to me, but maybe this picture will serve as a "Conn-duet" for promoting fashion equality. Terrible pun, but I'm not going to apologize for it.

[SF]

Never, ever take vertical videos.....  Never.....   But wear heels proudly.....    ha ha......    sf

 

 

And......   when folks ask my wife about me wearing high heels, she just smiles and tells them to ask me....  He is wearing HIS shoes....  They never ask....  ha ha...   Nice sandals mlrose...  

sf   

Edited September 14, 2019 by SF

[Cali]

Those Steve Madden Crunk are my type of heels. Since I have a high volume toe box, being able to adjust the strap across the toes is what I look for. My Freebird Canti are that way and I was able to add an extra hole.

I looked at reviews of the Crunk and saw that the buckle is not functionable....too bad

[jeremy1986]

@SF - PS, loved the vertical video thing!  funniest thing is the "glove and boots" production... someone one this forum maybe  

[SF]

Ha ha ha....   Yeah I hate vertical videos too!!  But my wife and kids take them all the time, so maybe it just me...  But, as the PSA says, it's not like crack or anything, but it's still pretty bad....  Fa Fa and Mario have other videos out there that are pretty funny as well.  

Mlrose, please take no offense, I'm just goofing here.  Playing an instrument with your kid - in heels - is great!!  I love it......  But those Crunk sandals (yes, weird name) are a bit to tall for me....  

Take care... sf...

[mlroseplant]

I have been lazy this summer. I have always said that wearing very high heels successfully is like doing ballet or playing an instrument. If you don't practice, and practice efficiently and effectively every day, you lose something. I re-discovered this yesterday. It's not that I haven't worn heels this summer, but I've not walked very far in them, and typically my heel choices have been low-ish (for me) wedges. So when it came time to break out the truly high heels again, I should have thought my shoe choice out a little better.

I was drafted to fill in for some instrumentalists in a couple of different church bands who were out for various reasons, and I wound up playing three services, which meant I was on my feet, standing mostly in one spot, for five hours. There have been times in my life when I wouldn't have thought twice about wearing my Nine West Plantera loafer pumps anywhere for all day. However, I'm not in high heel shape like I was. It wasn't really painful, but I was ready to get out of them by the time I got back home. My feet were really tired.

[Pierre1961]

That’s exactly what happened to me because of the summer vacation.

Despite of some ankle stretching every day,after 2 weeks without wearing heels,I had to start with wearing medium heels at first. 

The good thing is that muscles and brain have a memory,so everything came back within 2 days. 

These shoes look very attractive!

[Jkrenzer]

Love those shoes. Yep, one must keep in practice. 

[HappyinHeels]

mlroseplant,

After looking at the photo of you and your son playing I thought you could either cross your ankles as your son did OR make the chair slightly higher so your legs aren't apart. Either of these should change your posture to your satisfaction. HinH

[mlroseplant]

19 hours ago, HappyinHeels said:

mlroseplant,

After looking at the photo of you and your son playing I thought you could either cross your ankles as your son did OR make the chair slightly higher so your legs aren't apart. Either of these should change your posture to your satisfaction. HinH

After experimenting around and consulting old photos of me playing in college (in flats, of course), I realize it is the chair I was sitting in. We just rearranged the basement to allow both of us to sit side by side, which makes instruction quite a bit easier, but the second chair is a cheap metal folding chair, and it is not really suitable for a large tuba. I realize I am holding my legs like that to keep the instrument from sliding off the chair. In addition to procuring some more music stands, I guess I need to get some better chairs. I'm planning on jamming four people down there for our putative brass quartet. I know a horn player, and he ain't exactly a little guy!

[HappyinHeels]

mlroseplant,

During my government career I was told a "SME" was a Subject Matter Expert but I always used this acronym as Simple Midwestern Engineering. I find so many situations can be figured out by simply collaborating with others around you. I'll look forward to some basement photos of your quartet. HinH

[mlroseplant]

Here is an update on the kid in heels situation: It has definitely settled down, almost to the point of it being no big deal. He has mostly worn his own shoes, but there have been a couple of nights when he's worn my "low" high heels for pretty much the entire evening without comment from anybody.

[pebblesf]

6 hours ago, mlroseplant said:

Here is an update on the kid in heels situation: It has definitely settled down, almost to the point of it being no big deal. He has mostly worn his own shoes, but there have been a couple of nights when he's worn my "low" high heels for pretty much the entire evening without comment from anybody.

Sounds perfect....He has explored his interest in heels, tried them out, and most importantly, "no big deal".....  He will wear heels if he feels like it, and does not have to hide it.... 

[mlroseplant]

This has been a strange year for me. I won't say I've backed off wearing heels, but I sure have backed off buying them. This is for several different reasons. The main two reasons have everything to do with money. I haven't had the overtime that I've had in the past, so I have far less discretionary income. Furthermore, because my 10 year old son has started band this summer, I have spent my shoe money on instruments and accessories. Even though he officially only plays the tuba, I have bought, count 'em, THREE horns this summer/fall. Naturally, we have begun to collect a certain make (Conn), and we're only interested in instruments manufactured before about 1970. We've enjoyed the heck out of all of them. They just don't make 'em like they used to, UNLESS you're willing to spend like $10,000. In that case, in many ways, they make 'em better than they used to. That is many times more than my entire shoe collection is worth.

Speaking of shoes, now that sandal season is almost over, the Alaia sandal I bought back in June have finally become truly comfortable. I wore them for several hours a week ago, and I wasn't ready to take them off when it was time. I look forward to wearing them for many years to come. That was a case of having some experience and intuition about what was going to eventually work.

[Cali]

@mlroseplant I would also suspect that another reason is that the heels they are making are not tall enough.  I'm have trouble finding heels that are 3.75 inch tall, let along 4+ inches. Sometimes you just have to make sacrifices for your kids.  Just be glad that "band" is not very expensive compared to other activities.

 

[mlroseplant]

On 10/19/2019 at 10:00 AM, Cali said:

@mlroseplant I would also suspect that another reason is that the heels they are making are not tall enough.  I'm have trouble finding heels that are 3.75 inch tall, let along 4+ inches. Sometimes you just have to make sacrifices for your kids.  Just be glad that "band" is not very expensive compared to other activities.

 

Yes, I find myself saying more and more these days, "Wow, those are really cute! If only they were an inch higher." I think I came along at a time in history when heels in general were much taller than any other. I say this because we often romanticize the 1950s with its ubiquitous stiletto heels. There is a woman from my hometown who has started a sort of historical group, and people have given her thousands of photographs from the 1960s and older. One thing I notice about all the pictures from the 1950s and even into the 60s is that if the picture was taken at any sort of semi-formal event--even just going to church on Wednesday night--all the women were wearing dresses, and almost all of them were wearing high heels. Thing is, the heels just weren't very high by our standards. I didn't see any that were much over 3 inches.

My mother was definitely a heel girl back in the day, and when I see old pictures of her in high school or shortly thereafter, she was always wearing the highest heels of anybody in the group. Again, not that impressive. I never saw my mother wear anything higher than 3 1/2 inch, ever. I don't really think they were available through "normal" channels. Pretty much the same thing for the 1980s--heels just weren't as high as we remember them when I look at old pictures and ads. I mean, there was Baker's and Wild One, but you really didn't see the highest models they sold all that often on the street. Then about 2000 - 2010, somewhere in that range, heel heights just exploded, usually with platform, but even considering the platform, they were MUCH higher than any time before or since. 4 inch was suddenly kind of low, and even the high school girls, if they wore heels at all (many didn't), were all tottering around in 5+ inch heels. That's about the time I came along as far as wearing heels myself, and I must admit, it's kind of a letdown when, like you said, now it's hard to find even a 4 inch heel in mainstream outlets.

[Jkrenzer]

Yah, was in dsw last week for the 1st time in a few years. No height anywhere.

When I'm out I'm in the higher heels than everyone. Never under 4.5, usually at 5 inch, no platform. The women more than not like the look but most who do comment also say they simply can't walk in higher heels.

Still many very high heels are available on the market, so women must still be buying even if they ultimately just end up in closets.

[Puffer]

On 10/21/2019 at 11:33 AM, mlroseplant said:

Yes, I find myself saying more and more these days, "Wow, those are really cute! If only they were an inch higher." I think I came along at a time in history when heels in general were much taller than any other. I say this because we often romanticize the 1950s with its ubiquitous stiletto heels. ...

Some interesting comment there, but not entirely in accordance with my distinct recollection of the contemporary situation in the UK, although I will accept that it is all too easy to focus on the highlights rather than the mundane realities of life.   I stand by what I wrote elsewhere on this board recently:

'My memory of heels seen regularly in public in the (southern) UK in the late 50s - mid 60s was that 3 - 4" stiletto heels were everywhere, and worn by women of all ages.   But 4 - 5" was by no means unusual; there were many styles in the high street shops and worn for both work and dressier occasions, again by women of all ages.   Yes, shoes with a heel above 4.5" were not in every shop window and closet but they certainly existed - and none had platforms before around 1970.   Happy memories!'

If one looks at the newspapers, newsreels, films, mail-order catalogues etc of that 'golden age', there is  ample evidence of what I said was the situation - although I think there were some distinct differences between the UK and the US, with more restraint by women in the US as to what they wore.   From observation, it seems as though US women took more pains to look 'elegant' in formal and semi-formal settings and had (or took) more opportunities to 'dress up', boosted by somewhat greater disposable income.   But (film stars and the like aside), the typical US 'matron' at (say) a dinner party, restaurant or theatre would be less likely to wear the revealing dresses, tight skirts and 4"+ heels that were considered acceptable (and desirable) by a wide range of women in the UK.   However, that was not everyday working or home-making attire for most women, although there was certainly a greater adoption of dressy rather than casual clothing - stockings, skirts and (modest) heels were almost universal unless precluded for reasons of safety or comfort.   So, we see stilettos of at least 3" and up to 4" worn almost everywhere for many different activities by women of between (say) 15 and 60, including schoolgirls (out of uniform) and housewives buying the groceries.   And I would emphasise that there were (mercifully) absolutely no platforms - they had disappeared by around 1950 and were not to reappear before 1970, then to create the illusion of much greater height-gain for a given rise. 

Although significantly higher and thinner heels are (allegedly) currently less fashionable if not unfashionable, they are certainly still available in UK high street shops, quite apart from those widely offered online.   I was recently in a large shopping mall where at least three shops stocked shoes and sandals with 4.5 - 5" stiletto heels (and little or no platform) alongside the equivalents with chunkier heels of anything from 2" to 5", again often with little or no platform.   With the longer boots, however, there seemed to be a definite trend towards chunkier, but still often high, 'stacked' heels, although modest stiletto ankle boots were still on offer alongside their thicker-heeled counterparts.   (Lots of wearable heeled boots for men to consider, if their feet were small enough!)

Edited October 23, 2019 by Puffer
spelling correction

[mlroseplant]

I actually wore boots last night for the first time since early Spring of 2018. It's not that I hate boots, but perhaps I don't have the right boots any more for my style. Of course, last winter I challenged myself to see how long I could go into the winter and not wear boots, and I wound up making it all winter. The other problem is that most of my boots are what you'd call "calf high" I guess. This is fine if you're wearing boot-cut jeans, but look dumber 'n hell if you're wearing skinny jeans. Like many of us here, I started out wearing exclusively boot cut jeans in order to minimize the visual impact of my heels. When I bought all of my boots, I certainly didn't see any need to buy tall boots, as they were going to be covered by pants anyway. Now, of course, it's a completely different story. I hardly ever wear boot cut jeans, I own only two pairs of knee high boots, and I don't love either of them. As I mentioned before, I have stopped buying shoes temporarily, so I'm certainly not going to invest in any new boots this year. I do need to address the fact that my sandal collection is getting a little thin, though! Boots do last a lot longer than sandals.

Edited October 25, 2019 by mlroseplant
Corrections