Out With Kilty

[Steve63130]

Kilty, From your posts I gather that you are hosting a LOT of demons in your head about public heeling/skirting. As many others here will tell you, confidence is the key to success, and your level of confidence is currently insufficient. The answer is baby steps. If you want to dress in heels and a skirt, a park is the last place you should go. People don't wear such formal clothing to go to a park, so you stand visibly out of place. If you want to be invisible, take the good advice of Foxyheels and others to go to a busy public venue like a shopping mall, where everyone is too self-focussed to notice you. You'll be invisible, and your success is almost guaranteed. Build on that to do it again and again and grow your confidence. If your heels are too uncomfortable for much walking, find another pair that is better. Maybe try heels with bootcut jeans to walk in public places with a minimal amount of visibility while you build confidence. The main things are: (1) keep at it if it's something you want to do, and (2) don't let the demons win. Finally, if you can hook up with another mate who is more confident and can mentor you in the fine art of skirt/heels wearing, join him/her in your outings and watch and learn. Good luck in your outings, and thanks for posting a thread of your own. If you're successful in the long run, you'll look back on these early days and wonder what the fuss was all about. See yourself as successful and others will see it that way, too. Right now you lack that vision of yourself, so keep trying. Steve

[heels59]

Kilty, If you were a dirty old man with a fetish for sexy women's clothes and wanted to go outside the house where would you go? What would you do if someone called you out? You played the role perfectly. If on the other hand, you like to wear modest and appropriate well-fitting comfortable clothes that happen to be from the other side of the aisle, you'll go about your normal daily activities with little thought about what someone might think. How you get to that point is a process. Baby steps can include more androgynous clothes, or semi-hidden items. I started with heels hidden under jeans, then dabbled with skirts a bit. The only way to know what you like is to try it and see if you like it. Some things are an acquired taste. Tastes change over time. It's human nature to get bored with the status quo and want to push it a little. The goal is to get to where you wear whatever you want, when and where you want, with little concern for others' opinions. Some here have achieved that. Other keep on counting jaunts as special occasions, instead of integrating their awesome fashion sense into their everyday lives. (What's up with that, JeffB?) Some like me are only comfortable showing that side to strangers, so it's only a travel pleasure. From the perspective of my personal experience, you were hit with an unusually difficult situation, well out of the norm. Try that outfit where a brief fleeting encounter is normal, putting gas (Petrol) in the car, or running into the quick-mart for a cup of coffee. Next stop is the shopping mall when it's busy. Few people will even see what's in front of their eyes, fewer still will care, fewer still will bother to make something of it.

[SkirtDude]

I think i'll take it on board and blend in with what I observe local girls wearing - jeans and trainers it is then

I dont want to be that weirdo in the park, or anywhere else, so thats helped me decide heeling perhaps isnt my thing. Even the skirts is taking me outside my comfort zone to cross dressing. The Mrs isnt happy with it either, so I think my jaunting days are over for the coreseeable future. I want my family to be happy and that comes before anything else.

Those of you who are able to heel I admire your courage. There can only be one JeffB, I dont want to be a cheap imitation... ♥♡♥

I will observe from the sidelines for now. That run in was too much for me

[JeffB]

I think i'll take it on board and blend in with what I observe local girls wearing - jeans and trainers it is then

I dont want to be that weirdo in the park, or anywhere else, so thats helped me decide heeling perhaps isnt my thing. Even the skirts is taking me outside my comfort zone to cross dressing. The Mrs isnt happy with it either, so I think my jaunting days are over for the coreseeable future. I want my family to be happy and that comes before anything else.

Those of you who are able to heel I admire your courage. There can only be one JeffB, I dont want to be a cheap imitation... ♥♡♥

I will observe from the sidelines for now. That run in was too much for me

How unfortunate. But I guess you have to do what you have to do. And the really sad part of the whole thing is that troll you encountered has long since forgotten about you. Well, I hope you'll be able to live vicariously through us.

[SleekHeels]

I think i'll take it on board and blend in with what I observe local girls wearing - jeans and trainers it is then

I don't think that's what people are suggesting, it would be a sad day indeed if we all just gave up on fashion diversity and caved in to the bland majority. Blending in is more about wearing heels (and whatever else) in an environment where women would wear them. My philosophy is that if I'm wearing heels in unlikely surroundings then I'm setting myself up for a bad reaction, whereas if I wear heels in suitable surroundings and the only distinguishing aspect is that I happen to be a guy then that makes a far more focused statement against gender prejudice, and that's important to me.

... I think my jaunting days are over...

If that's genuinely how you feel then do that and be true to yourself - best of luck to you.

One thing to keep in mind is that all the advice can be overwhelming and can sometimes make you feel like others have had a much smoother path. However that's almost certainly far from the case, most people have learned the hard way, made mistakes and had bad experiences. I'm just saying that you shouldn't feel like you've "failed" where others have succeeded, just because you crossed paths with a narrow-minded loud-mouth. I'm not trying to get you to change your mind, just trying to give you a positive slant on what you've experienced. It was very brave of you to get out there and give it a go.

[Shafted]

My philosophy is that if I'm wearing heels in unlikely surroundings then I'm setting myself up for a bad reaction, whereas if I wear heels in suitable surroundings and the only distinguishing aspect is that I happen to be a guy then that makes a far more focused statement against gender prejudice, and that's important to me.

And remember too, there are those of us who wear high (stiletto) heels day in and day out without giving a hoot where we are, with little adverse effects.

[ilikekicks]

Well, pardon my ignorance (which can be considerable), but don't we all?

No shit. The " considerable " part of your mentioning applied to myself.

Kilty: An important thing to consider is what you wear and when you wear it. You wouldnt wear a cocktail dress and five inch stiletto heels to the supermarket, or a t-shirt, jeans and flip-flops to the theater. Tailor your outfit to your surroundings and the time of day, observe what women wear and do your best to emulate them. Try to blend in with your surroundings instead of standing out like the proverbial sore thumb, that way, you can avoid attracting undue attention from the wrong sort of people. It may not be flashy, but it's practical, and you can't go wrong by being and looking practical.

' Blending in ' is a great thing.

Ive been wearing heels out to places now on a semi-daily basis and nobody has even really recognized I was wearing them. A few things WILL gain attention. Neon Pink or Yellow Stilettos stand out. Metal heels making all sorts of sound.

A suggestion I would make is to wear a ' basic ' pump or wedge the first few times out with some form of pants/trousers. Go about the day as a ' normal day ' and think nothing of whats on your feet.

What I believe causes a major restriction relates to the whole ' jackstand ' concept. Face it, guys are somewhat taller ( on average ) then most women. 5foot8 on a woman is on the taller size. The same on a guy is ' average '. Toss in some heels, both hit 6 foot. Toss them on Jackstands and you now have a guy whom is known to be 5foot8 clearing 6 foot or coming closer to 6 and a half feet.. thats rather tall for a guy!

If one wishes to ' stand out ' , go for it. If you dont, get a pair of reasonable 3-3.5 inch regular ' court ' shoes or ' pumps ' and get used to those first when going out and about.

I believe that is one of the things you have going for you. ' Simplicity '. Nothing flashy, no jackstands, no frills and ' bling '.

Sometimes simplicity is very fashionable and tasteful.

[JeffB]

What I believe causes a major restriction relates to the whole ' jackstand ' concept. Face it, guys are somewhat taller ( on average ) then most women. 5foot8 on a woman is on the taller size. The same on a guy is ' average '. Toss in some heels, both hit 6 foot. Toss them on Jackstands and you now have a guy whom is known to be 5foot8 clearing 6 foot or coming closer to 6 and a half feet.. thats rather tall for a guy!

Quite true. Still, I have worn the attention garnering combination of a short skirt and my Payless five inch platform sandals, I was easily six and a half feet tall, and no one paid me any attention. It's all about how you present yourself, and how you carry yourself when you're standing head and shoulders over the populace. I just acted like it's no big deal, and it wasn't. I consider myself extremely fortunate I've never had the sort of hellish experience Kilty did with that lowbrow moron, but I'm not so naive to think that can't happen to me, because it can, it's only a matter of when and where. And even for those members content to wear heels hidden under long pants or jeans, there's always the possibility you too could become the target of some loudmouthed idiot, it's how you handle the situation that ultimately determines the outcome.

[SkirtDude]

.

[Steve63130]

Kitty, I'm not going to try to convince you to keep wearing heels or skirts, but I do want to point out that it was something you set out to try to do, and if you give up, then the demons (in your head) win. That is not the outcome you wanted, nor does it have to be that way. Your destiny is still very much in your control. Steve

[HappyinHeels]

Kilty, After reading through these posts a second time I'd like to continue the astute points made above but none less so than by Steve63130 to demonstrate a point. Many have pointed to the right outfit at the right time and place and certainly the time of day and presence/absence of people at that time of day can easily facilitate or COMPLICATE what should a pleasurable experience. Since I don't know how/have privileges to move something posted in one section to another I'd ask you to go to the "Real Life Meetings" section and click the "HappyinHeels Visits Seve63130 in Ohio" thread and start at post#1 by the aforementioned Steve63130.

This is the description of a real meeting with a real guy in a really cool college town in the middle of Ohio just a few weeks ago. I went and got a pedicure at a salon wearing the Jessica Simpson sandals with nearly 6" heels, a gray cap from Bakers, a polo short, bootcut jeans, a woman's Pulsar dress watch, and carrying a tan fringe handbag. We then went to a crowded shopping mall in Columbus, Ohio and I was wearing the tan wedges in the first photo , 6" of wonderful wedge heel glory, and we effortlessly made our way around the mall and got nothing but great service. I was dressed neither as a woman nor completely as a man but rather a mix of either's clothing and............nothing bad happened!!! I had the right outfit at the right place and time and just blended into the hustle and bustle of the venue. I had neve been in that place and was with someone I had only been visiting for about four hours but I strode with CONFIDENCE which is the universal currency. I knew in my heart I'd have a great time and that is precisely what happened because I willed it to be. This story should tell you that this isn't just a bunch of internet bullcrap rather it is a real story and it can just as easily be YOUR story too. Wear what YOU want and live your life on YOUR terms because you'll grow old and frustrated waiting for the precise moment. You must be that moment in time that you take charge of what concerns you and confront it. Once your mind is free of the self-created bondages that have enshackled you the limts of your own imagination are your only real boundaries. We all wish you the best but I personally wanted to convey that we are sharing genuine experiences that could help you conquer those fears.

HappyinHeels

[Guest]

I would just said to the bitch; "put a sock in it lady!" & be done with it, so there............. LOL

[SkirtDude]

Kitty, I'm not going to try to convince you to keep wearing heels or skirts, but I do want to point out that it was something you set out to try to do, and if you give up, then the demons (in your head) win. That is not the outcome you wanted, nor does it have to be that way. Your destiny is still very much in your control.Steve

It looks like this heeling lark will be expensive, and if some aren't supportive of me on the forum, what hope do I have of convincing Joe Public about fashion freedom? Remarks like saying I'm 'giving up' doesn't help. I fit in better with kilt forums, what interest I had in heels has been killed off by 'suggestions' which seem more like thinly veiled criticism.I'm done.BTW for the final time my name is NOT Kitty.

[dww]

How on gods earth can wearing heels be expensive. I think you will get 100% support from anybody on this forum about wearing heels and anything else for that matter. My 5 pennith worth is take things long and slow and you will find things will turn out as you wanted in the end. I know been there done that in all forms of forcing myself to wear heels, it's taken me forty odd years to be happy in what I do, and this site has been very helpful in the last ten or so years, so don't give up think about what you want and plan carefully. I think most people can read and know your name Kilty.

[Shafted]

From my own visual experience, Kilty does look an awful lot like Kitty when I don't have my reading glasses on. Steve, put your glasses on. lol

[JeffB]

From my own visual experience, Kilty does look an awful lot like Kitty when I don't have my reading glasses on. Steve, put your glasses on. lol

Ditto. I think I made that same mistake once myself.

[hh4evr1]

I misread it to. Especially when using my phone to view this site.

[Steve63130]

I apologize for the error. I actually knew it was Kilty, but must have hit the wrong key anyway and didn't catch it in proof reading. It was completely unintentional. I was not trying to be negative at all. Kilty, if you want to give up wearing heels, it's your decision. I just think it's a bit of "sour grapes" after one bad experience. All I was saying was that you have it in your power to get back into the ring for another round if you want to, and I and many others here would encourage you to do so. While you got knocked down, you weren't knocked out. Steve

[Curt]

I hope you don't leave Kilty, I've enjoyed your posts and seeing your style don't let negativity from the public get you down. We all deserve to dress and conduct ourselves that make us feel happy. All the best. Ashly

[RonC]

A cocktail dress and heels would look good in a grecery store.

A cocktail dress and heels would look good anywhere....lol

[SkirtDude]

I've been low key for a while but I have been out skirted for a while. I've been meaning to get my shoes re-heeled, but at least I finally found a decent skirt for winter! Its a smart pinstripe pencil in a 12 (I've put on weight), and have plan to wear it on dress down Fridays to work. They've seen my black kilt so I will be pushing the envelope with these boots but JeffB pulls the look off with ease. Not sure if the "office skirt" is too formal and I should just go with a plain black denim one Sorry if the pics come out at a funny angle, its my phone... Also, is it easy to get some boots repaired? My black ones have split from the sole, a small hole has appeared at the side. Kilty

[Jimnj3]

Yes JeffB does pull it off with ease but don't think at work. Just out and about around Philly.  Not knowing where or what you do at work you are the only one that would know if this can be done without jeopardizing your job. Have to keep that in place to afford new clothing/shoes. 

 

I wouldn't mind a full shot of that skirt but I know how hard it is to photo yourself while holding the camera/phone.

 

Getting your boots repaired shouldn't be an issue as long as you can find a good shoe repair shop.  They seem to be disappearing. This summer I had a pair of zippers replaced in my ankle harness boots for a really decent price once I found a local cobbler.  Good luck!

 

Jim

[Bubba136]

I've been low key for a while but I have been out skirted for a while. I've been meaning to get my shoes re-heeled, but at least I finally found a decent skirt for winter! Its a smart pinstripe pencil in a 12 (I've put on weight), and have plan to wear it on dress down Fridays to work. They've seen my black kilt so I will be pushing the envelope with these boots but JeffB pulls the look off with ease. Not sure if the "office skirt" is too formal and I should just go with a plain black denim one

Sorry if the pics come out at a funny angle, its my phone...

20131104_092331.jpg20131104_091814.jpg20131104_091805.jpg

Also, is it easy to get some boots repaired? My black ones have split from the sole, a small hole has appeared at the side.

Kilty

a good coat of polish might Go a long way toward convincing your co-workers that you really do take pride in your appearance as well as taking time to select just the right clothes to present the look you are after.

[JeffB]

Yes JeffB does pull it off with ease but don't think at work. Just out and about around Philly.  Not knowing where or what you do at work you are the only one that would know if this can be done without jeopardizing your job. Have to keep that in place to afford new clothing/shoes.

 

I wouldn't mind a full shot of that skirt but I know how hard it is to photo yourself while holding the camera/phone.

 

I agree. I'm rather surprised more folks here don't follow my lead in using a simple point and shoot camera (the camera I use is well over ten years old but still works like a charm) with a 10 second timer on a tripod, allowing you to shoot head to toe pics. Give it a try and see what happens.

[SkirtDude]

Yes JeffB does pull it off with ease but don't think at work. Just out and about around Philly.  Not knowing where or what you do at work you are the only one that would know if this can be done without jeopardizing your job. Have to keep that in place to afford new clothing/shoes. 

 

I wouldn't mind a full shot of that skirt but I know how hard it is to photo yourself while holding the camera/phone.

 

Getting your boots repaired shouldn't be an issue as long as you can find a good shoe repair shop.  They seem to be disappearing. This summer I had a pair of zippers replaced in my ankle harness boots for a really decent price once I found a local cobbler.  Good luck!

 

Jim

Jim,

http://hhplace.org/gallery/image/3902-dscf0664/

Here's a shot of the skirt, I hadn't any tights on yesterday, though I think I won't wear it to work just yet. A kilt I can get away with.

 

I'd love the day where this isn't such an issue for guys. Though things are very slowly changing... bored so messing about with Photoshop...

http://hhplace.org/gallery/image/3901-dscf0000678/

 

 

 

This morning, it's a simple plain grey skirt (a bit of a squeeze as its a 10) and a knitted green top. Here's a side shot of the skirt.

 

I'm wearing a denim kilt to work this Friday, and perhaps next week a denim skirt, and see if they register Kilty

[Jimnj3]

Looks good from what I can see!    Wonder if they will notice the difference between the kilt and the skirt?  Let us know.

[JeffB]

Yes, I would also be interested in learning what the reaction from co-workers will be like!

[SkirtDude]

Yes, I would also be interested in learning what the reaction from co-workers will be like!

On the Friday, there were gasps... even heading to work took a lot of psyching up, got a seat on the bus after a young lad got up, that was sweet. But then proceeded to stare at me, and took out a phone to try and take a snap of me, but I just put my bag on my lap. I was sat by the window, some schoolkids found it amusing first of all, but soon lost interest. Once at work, I got teased, most said 'I've not seen that kind of kilt before' (it was a plain grey pencil skirt) but one guy said I had guts to wear such an outfit.

 

One of the ladies from HR had come over from another department, and she said that although she was surprised, she had to admit it was fairly modest and a skirt actually suited me!      That surprised me. Sadly it was misconstrued, as she asked me that if I was thinking of 'transitioning', I could always call them for a chat and they could tactfully break it to the team.  Taken aback, I said no, I just find skirts more comfortable than trousers, but it's not to replace trousers completely. It's just another option in my wardrobe. With more celebrities taking on the 'manskirt', I guess they will see more of such fashions in the near future.

 

Aside from the guy staring at me whilst heading to work, the day, in all was a success It's done wonders for my confidence! Though I need to buy some more thicker tights as winter's coming

[Thighbootguy]

Amazing account.  Thanks for sharing it with us. What did your HR person says after you explained that you just liked skirts?

[SkirtDude]

Amazing account.  Thanks for sharing it with us. What did your HR person says after you explained that you just liked skirts?

She was not surprised having seen the kilts for the last 5 weeks though I'm just going to stick to dark colours, grey, black, navy, mostly knee length pencil. I think that's the most sensible style for me. Other styles are a bit too femme for my liking, though I might look for a nice tartan pencil skirt soon... I'll intermix it with my kilts and trousers... I was surprised it was such a non event... though I will still tread carefully... The Mrs doesn't quite like the skirts, having just gotten used to the kilts. Its the "what will others think?" that holds her back. Still, I have met neighbours kilted and skirted, no problem. I have a smart denim kilt, and a black denim skirt that goes unnoticed by most. This year's UK X Factor has a band, Rough Cooy, where one member is skirted or kilted, he's taken that as his look, so people are getting used to 'manskirts'