Is Society Being More Tolerant?

[Dan J]

AMEN brother.

Come on guys get out there as we do. The more it is seen, the more it will be copied.

TB2

Agreed.

Dan

[JNR]

My country was once known for its tolerancy. But society is getting more and more intolerant in an alarming high speed. Every day people become a victim of verbal or physical agression. On trains and buses, in traffic etc.

Or because they are gay, or have a "different" religion or colour of skin. The numbers of incidents are rapidly increasing.

Although I haven't heard about male heelers being attacked, the circumstances are not that great anymore.

I am not optimistic for the future. If there were times which were promising for male heelers it must have been the 70's. I grew up in the 70's. Too bad I still was too young to live my passion those days......

When you live in a country where there isn't any "wrong" and actions have no consequences, that has an attitude of "who are you to judge my conduct or behavior -- disrespect and lack of common courtesy towards one another, becomes a way of life. This is one of the first rungs on the ladder of anarchy.

[thedesigner]

??? is it discourteous for gents to wear heels in public then ? if its anarchy, then i'm johnny rotten.....

[roniheels]

I did live in the 70's and I did wear (men's) high heels in the 70's every day all of the time. My college roomate and I wore each others high heels and thought nothing of it. But just like that, the trend was gone and you did not wear high heels (if you were a man) or you were being silly or gay. Just that fast! History does repeat itself quite often. Judging by all of the male members of this website who wear high heels privately and publicly, there might be a turning point somewhere around the corner...or on down the block.

[Guest]

oh yes roniheel, I'm 53 myself & I do remember those times as well!! (boy, DO I!! )

[roniheels]

Did you wear boots or shoes similar looking to your avatar? I sure did, everywhere and every day!!! And I loved wearing them!!!!!

[Guest]

oh yes, I sure did, loved them too (as the black ones seen in my avitar are my current pair of platform boots)

[thedesigner]

mine were burgundy like that, from the Kings Road.... Wore them and a red nightshirt (only) to my 21st !! And, may I say, thought nothing of it cos it was the rage then.... I got some wedge stacks from Ken market about the same time, the only time i twisted my ankle in heels, running for a train in them... Keep 'em high !!

[aussieheels1]

how i wish those times are here again..... cause i missed it the first time round

[thedesigner]

the thing is, we did it as fashion, not bcos they were heels, but it stuck as being a great idea - same as i still see guys with slicked back hair from teddyboy days.... or guys with grey hair in a pony tail, from hippie times... trouble is, they look dicks trying to hang on to a past life, move on and do yourself NOW !! And stay young and dangerous!!

[roniheels]

Whereas I prefer a more feminine high heel with my suits, back in the day I loved those patform shoes and boots. I was lucky to have a roomate in college who wore the same size shoe as me. We bought all different types and style and traded shoes constantly. I did go through middle age crazy: kept my hair long even though I suffered from pattern baldness (comb-over and hair dye). One day I said, "hey, here I am, and that ain't me." I decided on a style for a man my age, incorporated my favorite high heels, and I'm living happily ever after. This is me and that's that. Take me or leave me.

[johnieheel]

Whereas I prefer a more feminine high heel with my suits, back in the day I loved those patform shoes and boots. I was lucky to have a roomate in college who wore the same size shoe as me. We bought all different types and style and traded shoes constantly.

I did go through middle age crazy: kept my hair long even though I suffered from pattern baldness (comb-over and hair dye). One day I said, "hey, here I am, and that ain't me." I decided on a style for a man my age, incorporated my favorite high heels, and I'm living happily ever after.

This is me and that's that. Take me or leave me.

And your answer is?

[roniheels]

The answer is yes. Society is a roller coaster. We're rounding the bend toward an anything goes type society again. Maybe not quite like the 70's, but seems to be moving that direction...slowly but surely.

[johnieheel]

The answer is yes. Society is a roller coaster. We're rounding the bend toward an anything goes type society again. Maybe not quite like the 70's, but seems to be moving that direction...slowly but surely.

I agree. I think that it's coming to , nothing is a surprise anymore. I also believe a lot of it has to do with punk and goth and the whole just be your self individuality thing.

[tightsnheels]

In my experiance I have never had any problems. I have had smiles from a few women but never a out and out compliment. When I was out with my wife once she "over heard" two women complaining (White platform sandals at the time) but they didn't confront us. I have overheard a teenage girl talking to one of her friends about me once in a positive way. I have been out many times even to church in boots (3.5 inch narrow heels) and many styles almost all of my shoes are feminin styled (Ie: I actually have a pair of patent white peeptoe flats).

I to feel that the more of us that can and do come out of the closet the more acceptance we will have.

T&H

[thedesigner]

All of us have the same take on it, do as you darn well pleasy, edgy fashion always is looked at WHATEVER IT IS so dont be afraid or selfconcious !! It's only fashion style folks, no more than uggs.... only a lot nicer.....

[roniheels]

I agree. I think that it's coming to , nothing is a surprise anymore. I also believe a lot of it has to do with punk and goth and the whole just be your self individuality thing.

Johnie you have brought up a very good point. If no one gives a second look to a young man with purple hair, black eyeshadow and lipstick, a face full of piercings, and arms covered in tatoos, why should anyone react at all to a man walking down the street in high heels? And don't get me wrong, I have nothing against the before mentioned young man. To each his own. But that must also apply to the man in high heels.

[HappyFeat]

I voted that society is more tolerant, however I kind of take a macro view. 40 years ago, there would have been a high probability in much of the U.S. that somebody would have beaten a guy wearing heels. Though that probability still exists, it is much less a possible reaction. I live outside of Pittsburgh. I would say that the most negative reaction I get is people whispering behind my back or downright laughter. Sure is a long way from being physically threatened. However, I am reminded of a story in the local news a few months back. A man was arrested after going to a small town public library, not far from where I live, under the suspicion of fondling himself in the library. This in and of itself is one thing. The real reason he was arrested was that he was dressed as a woman. Ironically the "fondling" was caught on security tape and run over and over and over and over and over again on the local news. Can't fondle yourself in the library, but I guess its OK on TV...anyway...I am convinced as was the ACLU that he was being targeted for being a cross dresser. Since there was no follow up (likely because there was no new footage) in the news, I have no idea what happened. So is society MORE tolerant...yes. Is society tolerant, no way.

[JeffB]

Johnie you have brought up a very good point. If no one gives a second look to a young man with purple hair, black eyeshadow and lipstick, a face full of piercings, and arms covered in tatoos, why should anyone react at all to a man walking down the street in high heels? And don't get me wrong, I have nothing against the before mentioned young man. To each his own. But that must also apply to the man in high heels.

Funny you should mentin that. Just yesterday afternoon, I saw a young man in a popular strip mall area crowded with shoppers. No more than 20 or so, he sported a black leather jacket, jeans so tight they could've been spray painted on, checkered sneakers and, the finishing touch: a spiked mohawk that was light brown, almost blond and was easily a foot high.

Oh, sure, that kid got plenty of stares and double takes, but nothing more than that. That got me to thinking, that if those same people saw that kid, then me wearing heels, who would entertain more derision? Chances are, probably me as society is used to goths and headbangers, but not men in heels? That's going take a while to sink in with the public I'm afraid.

[Guest Loveshiheels]

I hope that society is coming more torerant with men wearing heels in public. Most shoe shops these days are fine about men buying female shoes, after all a sale is a sale. The only real way of finding out is to go out there with your heels on and see who notices and what comments are made to you.

[Bubba136]

Is society becoming more tolerant or, based on the current idea of "political correctness," less likely to react to strange, out of the usually "accepted" standards behavior?

[Thighbootguy]

I heard a discussion on a TV program the other day (sorry, I don’t remember the show) on how the next generation is a much more tolerant generation than previous generations. The discussions theme was males and females in the next generation consider themselves as equals and because of that were more willing to work together. Another report on how generational attitudes are changing is in How Young People View Their Lives, Futures and Politics A PORTRAIT OF “GENERATION NEXT” from The Pew Research center for the People and the Press.

They didn’t ask about men wearing heels but here is one result that is in the same ballpark (And no, I do not consider all male heelers to be homosexuals or that heeling is even related. This is just an example of the next generations view of what is accepted by society.)

Gen Nexters also are more accepting of homosexuality generally. Nearly six-in-ten (58%) say homosexuality is a way of life that should be accepted by society. This compares with 50% of those over age 25.

It is my observation that it is generally older folks ( <--my age and above) that look at me disapprovingly when I’m wearing thigh boots. The younger they are the less they seem bothered (ie. more tolerant).

Making a determination of what has changed is difficult for me. I know that my view of what is tolerable has widened considerably. After all, I’m wearing thigh boots with 5” stilettos in public. I wouldn’t have done that 20 years ago. Back then, if I wore heels at all, they were well hidden and then only on rare occasions. I was really concerned about being “caught” wearing women’s boots. I’m not sure what changed first, my attitude or societies. One day I decided to walk into a restaurant wearing a pair of black leather crotch boots with 5” stilettos and I have been wearing thigh boots ever since. I think I got lucky and my decision to go for it and society becoming more tolerant coincided. The other possibility is that I have become an old eccentric that doesn’t care what society thinks and would wear thigh boots anyway. Although there is some truth in that last sentence, I think people’s attitudes today have made it easier for me to wear boots with heels. I just don’t get the hostile reactions I expected to get 20 years ago.

Since I never got the hostile reaction 20 years ago, however, I expected to get one if I got “caught” and that didn’t happen. Today I don’t expect to get hostile reactions which means that my expectations have changed and that is based on my perception of societies attitudes.

[Dr. Shoe]

I actually voted no. This whole "tolerance" thing is in our own heads. You see society has never been particularly intolerant, more indifferent. By and large nobody gives a toss what you put on your feet or what you wear really as long as you keep yourself to yourself. Sure a tiny minority has always had an issue with homophobia but just like racism this is not going to go away. You may not notice as many double-takes or strange looks when you go out in heels but I thinik that that is only because you are far more confident and just not looking for them.

[Guest]

well said, Dr shoe:smile: thats EXACTLY how I feel myself, I really could care LESS how many stares or "looks" I might get in any given day, I just act like I do every day (as myself) & as you say-if you do look for the stares then you might seem to be more NERVOUS to others in doing so.

[sabotalot]

I'm in N.E. Ohio, too, and have been satisfied with using certain styles on a low-key basis. I like 4" hh clogs, but the styles I choose are very ordinary-looking to the casual observer. I guess that there is at least one other one of us in N.E. Ohio who likes these styles, but who has made them a fashion statement, but who otherwise likes stuff that Hugh Hefner is famous for.

[roniheels]

I actually voted no.

This whole "tolerance" thing is in our own heads. You see society has never been particularly intolerant, more indifferent. By and large nobody gives a toss what you put on your feet or what you wear really as long as you keep yourself to yourself. Sure a tiny minority has always had an issue with homophobia but just like racism this is not going to go away.

You may not notice as many double-takes or strange looks when you go out in heels but I thinik that that is only because you are far more confident and just not looking for them.

well said, Dr shoe:smile: thats EXACTLY how I feel myself, I really could care LESS how many stares or "looks" I might get in any given day, I just act like I do every day (as myself) & as you say-if you do look for the stares then you might seem to be more NERVOUS to others in doing so.

Yes to both of you. I'm at the point in my life that I welcome the stares, smiles, frowns, whispers, and chuckles. At least I know I'm being noticed and I'm actually exposing society to my experiences.

[Tech]

Gotta agree with the Doc on this, everybody rants on and on about "tolerance" which as far as I see, this is crap. A well dressed guy going out in heels is likely to be noticed by, shall we say less than 5% of the people he encounters (Based on what you guys here have written about how little you get noticed when you go out) So, if people dont notice, and those that do, dont care, where on earth does this whole "Tolerance" thing come into play, and where have you ever encountered "In-tolerance"? You cant ask for tolerance of something that you either wont do in public, or you do and doesnt get noticed. Having a bad government, or high fuel prices is something you have to "Tolerate" because its negative, and everybody has to deal with it, and you cant get away from it, like bad weather, you can either tolerate it, or move (In-tolerance) So, lets all stop using this stupid term of "Tolerance" for what you put on your feet, its just plain nuts. Oh, this also applies to "Acceptance" as same above methods apply.

[Guest]

oh I fully agree Richie, I do NOT need others tolerance of MY choice of footwear, I do NOT need their so-called "approval" or "Acceptance", what I DO need is for others to mind their OWN bussiness & I'll gladly mind mine. see, I know what your getting @, & that is any one of us males who CHOOSE to wear what they like on their feet never ASKED for approval, or acceptance OR tolerance FROM them (ie.strangers)

[Tech]

Exactly, its clothing, you have only 2 options, "Like or dis-like" Tolerance, acceptance, call it what you will, but those are terms used to describe things that are commonly un-accepted or intolerable even. So, to anybody who reads this, I say: Get off this whole sad case "tolerance" BS because society doesnt give a crap what you put on your feet. Those of you who might get laughed at (Very few minority), are being laughed at not out of in-tolerance or non-acceptance, but probably because you look like an idiot. (Dont ask me to start naming names) (I can happily say that because I've seen some of the photo's) Of course, that is just my opinion on the matter, I'm no authority on the subject, but I really do think so many of you blow something so insignificant, way out of proportion by using this whole "When will society be more tolerant" and "How can we get acceptance" non-sense, it really is rubbish.

[Tech]

Hiya Kneehighs With all due respect buddy, whats that got to do with "Men in heels" ? Your talking about Gender descrimination, were talking about footwear.