Shopping for heels: try them on?

[ChipsHH]

When they return I always ask if it is ok to try them on never been refused and always gotten compliments on how well I walk and how it goes with what I am wearing. The last pair of bebe's I bought the clerk asked well aren't you going to wear them out of the store? They really look great on you.

I did that at Carson's last week. I tried on 3 pairs of designer shoes, and was caught off-guard when she asked, "What do you think?" I tried repling back as if trying to start a convo, but didn't come out that way. I hope what happened with you happens to me ...in 3-4 more weeks.

[liveinheels]

You guys are right I should have left the store with them on my feet instead of a shopping bag. I find that it would be easier to take the step out of the store if I weren't alone. The first time I wore heels out I made it about 300 feet and heard from behind look that guy has on heels so I ducked into a food place and changed it was really a rush. I don't have a problem trying them on in the stores even with other people around never had a mean comment just can't seem to get past the door you know what I mean. It is getting easier though just knowing that all of you are out there heeling really helps. Happy heeling!

[CassieJ]

The first time I wore heels out I made it about 300 feet and heard from behind look that guy has on heels so I ducked into a food place and changed it was really a rush.

The best way to handle this is to let them know you heard them with a big smile. They tend to respect confidence. Show weakness and groups can become cruel.

[Saturn]

I haven't replied to this thread, and it's a good one, so I guess I'll add my two cents. It seems many of you went through the exact same thing that I did. First, I would try them on only in empty stores, and be very nervous and scared. Then I moved on to not giving a crap. I think things changed once I got older, because when I was in high school, everyone from school went to the mall. Now, I'm lucky if I see ANYONE I know at the mall. I don't care what these clerks think. I've even asked for help - why? It's FUN! I actually like seeing the reactions, but I only really ask for help when I need it, and only from women - though it is surprising how little some women know about heels, especially those working at a shoe store! I was shopping at a Shoe Dept. several months ago (this is a fun story). I was already in my "I don't care" mode, and I was trying on anything that I wanted. This was in May, so they still had many stilettos out (and on clearance) before the open-toed shoes came out. I was trying on some fairly normal-looking boots with a blocky 3" heel, and I asked the clerk girl if she could help me understand how they're supposed to fit. She was a little shocked, but helped me anyway, and then after a minute or two she didn't seem to care. But, as I mentioned, these boots were very inconspicuous. Then, I noticed that they had some (non-leather) patent knee-high boots with a pointed toe, large buckle on the size, and a 4" stiletto heel. They were very feminine woman's boots, almost remind me of the "Pretty Woman" boots (except not thigh-high). I tried them on right in the store, size 11, size 12, then size 11 again. They only had one boot because these were up front, and they had to have a clerk get you the second. I decided on the 11s, and the clerk (who was an elderly man) got my other boot for me. His reaction was simply hilarious. "Are you sure?" he said. I'm like "Yep, go get the other one!" Heh. So I bring the two pairs of boots up to the counter, the conservative and non-conservative one. There were two younger girls running the register (including the one who helped me). The only that didn't help me was talking about how she saw some strange goth kid that came in, and he was "dressed so weird and looked stupid. His hair was retarded." So the original girl starts ringing me up - "You're not going to return these, are you?" (talking about the 'hooker' boots). My reply - "Nope, they're mine now." So the other girl continues on about how she was visually offended with this goth dude, and notices the heels being rung up. She looks up at me, and I say to her - "Hey, everyone's got something inside of them that makes them a little weird." And then I winked at her. She nodded, but didn't look freaked out. It was kind of a melancholy response. I grabbed my bag and walked out. That was one of the most fun trips to the shoe store I've had in a while! Oh, and on page 11 of this thread I noticed that somebody said that Shoe Carnival is not that great of a place for large sizes. I beg to differ. There are usually many size 11s and 12s for MOST of the higher (stiletto) heels. The only heels that stop at about size 10 are the trendier "junior" style heels, which is unfortunate, but they are mostly blocky-style heels. When I was scared to try on heels in the store, I ended up buying a couple pairs of pointy-toed stiletto pumps (patent red and faux alligator) at Shoe Carnival in size 12. I've since learned that any size 12 (except Pleaser) slip off my feet, so I gotta get rid of those. You guys may see them on the "for sale" section soon enough. Of course, my experience at this store probably differs from store to store.

[Bubba136]

Great posting. Thanks for the "recount."

[HappyFeat]

Then I moved on to not giving a crap. I think things changed once I got older, because when I was in high school, everyone from school went to the mall. Now, I'm lucky if I see ANYONE I know at the mall. I don't care what these clerks think. I've even asked for help - why? It's FUN! I actually like seeing the reactions, but I only really ask for help when I need it, and only from women - though it is surprising how little some women know about heels, especially those working at a shoe store!

What a great story! I am glad you decided to chip in your "two cents." Like you, I have discovered the "not giving a crap" zone and love to ask for help, but usually do not ask for it unless I am serious about buying. Also, I have noticed that I am reluctant to ask for help from a male clerk. In some way, I kind of think its like getting marriage counseling from a priest, but then I remember that I am a guy who knows a lot about heels and wears them, so why would I assume the male clerk doesn't. Strange how I make assumptions about people when I am outside the stereotype myself.

In the end I am reluctant to get help from a man because I am afraid of a negative reaction. I know that I can get a negative reaction from a woman as well, but it doesn't seem to bother me as much. Though I admit that I bought two pair of shoes off the Macy's clearance rack today (that I just had to have) and was waited on by a guy who was very nice and courteous. SO I guess I can get extensive (expensive) therapy for father issues or just not care.

The Shoe Carnival experience is interesting as well. The only Shoe Carnival in my area seems to be staffed by muscle head young guys and I have never felt terribly comfortable there. Kind of blends my two issues...

[Guy N. Heels]

You are very brave. I went shopping yesterday in a shopping centre and couldn't bring myself even to enter a shop even though the shops were Faith, Aldo, Vivienne Westwood et al. By the way the shoes were gorgeous!

Buying shoes without trying them on makes no more sense than buying a car without having driven it. So just exactly what do the clerks and shopowners do to customers who first try on their shoes: shoot them; skin them alive; pillory them in the public square; barbeque & eat them; boil them in oil??? I've never had one to threaten any such thing and several have invited me to try them on while at least one insisted that I do so.

My friend, you have a "tigercage" around yer head. When you finally break-out of that "tigercage" you will not only see how silly you've been, but also you will find that a whole new world awaits you. So DO IT!

[Saturn]

Thanks for the "thanks!" Anyway, yeah, the male clerks. At Shoe Carnival (the one that I went to) had a lot of young guys in there, and several women. I'll have them ring me up, sure. In fact, one time, a guy my age asked for my area code (which was out of the area, I was away at college) and I gave it to him. He said (while ringing up a large pair of stilettos, mind you) that he was from the same area, and we chatted for a while. The shoes never came up in conversation. I have asked the male employees to "check in the back" for sizes, but aside from that, I won't ask them for assitance. I agree it's strange - here we're generalizing about other males, yet we ARE male. I think the reason I stereotype is because it seems that males are often more victims of conformism than females. It's okay for females to have emotions, wear what they want, do whatever.But a guy has to be a guy, at all times. So I'm not really looking forward to the reactions from them, as they're rediculously predicable. The female reaction is far more entertaining and enlightening, actually. Be it close-minded, or intrigued, or whatever, at least the female is INTERESTED, right? Being a guy who wears heels, you immediately have something in common with most women. So the women are at least curious on many different accounts and want to know more. Men just think that their masculinity will somehow be affected just by being around you. I'm very secure with my masculinity, and the heels don't upset it whatsoever. Still, they're allowed to have their view on the subject, but chances are I can predict how they're going to act. As an experiment, I wore a very obvious pair of heels in an outing. They were a pair of 3", pointy-toed stiletto boots - shin-high (not quite knee high, so whatever) and they were WHITE. Yes, white... blindingly white. And they clicked louder than hell. It was perfect. So, I stopped off at several rest stops on my trip home from college. I noticed many men looking around trying to find the source of the heels, which was actually kind of entertaining (as I do the same exact thing!). In fact, any females (young or old) did NOT notice my boots! I was wearing them with jeans, but they were in full view. One young boy, I'd say 12 years old or so, did a double take at my boots. That was it. Then, on my way out of the last rest stop, a huge entourage of 20-somethings featuring Abercrombie & Fitch/Aeropostale/American Eagle/Hollister guys with two girls walked in. I got past the entire group, but the very LAST guy in the group looked down (blatantly) then looked up at my face. This guy's face said it all - "You're a freak." And I'm not imagining it, I can read people very well. The next stop was my local HOMETOWN Wal-Mart. I often see people that I know here, and it was quite busy. Still part of the experiment. Well, Wal-Mart's parking lot tore the hell out of my heel tips, which sucked because they were doing fine on all the flat surfaces. Then, as I was walking in, a large group of black girls (late 20 somethings?) followed me in, maybe 15 feet away. One girl noticed right away, and pointed out my boots to her friends. She goes "Oh, look at those white boots? Do they have a heel? Yeah, they do!" I heard a little giggling, but I didn't mind. Actually, I usually see black women wearing the more prominent stiletto boots, so I'm not surprised they noticed right away (as opposed to the decidedly caucasian setting of the rest stops, where zero females noticed the boots). So what did I learn? If you go into crowded areas full of younger people, you might get laughed and pointed at. But like I said, I picked the most obvious pair of heels that I had. If they were black - I bet the people who noticed and said things wouldn't have said anything at all, even though they were very clacky stilettos. But this was my goal - to GET noticed, and see how bad it would be. Honestly, it wasn't that bad. One kinda negative reaction (Hollister guy), one neutral (curious young boy), one jovial/mildly negative reaction (black girl). And yes, the whole situation was a thrill. Hey, you only go around once. And you just might be the most interesting point of someone else's day, right? And I don't really mind that, as long as can't stop me from being me - which involves wearing heels, of course.

[Bubba136]

Interesting! I would guess that you managed to circulate closely in and around a couple of hundred people during the period of this experience and that is not much reaction. Not as much as one would expect. Your experience parallel's my own. Over the years I've found that when people are focused on their own business or engrossed in their own pursuits, they are much less attentive or observant than when they're relaxed and paying more attention to their surroundings. Chances of getting any reaction at all while shopping at a mall during the Christmas season or attending a concert or sporting event, and in other crowded venues, is almost nil. Then again, walking across a wide open parking lot in broad daylight, in open view of anyone that might be walking toward or behind you, chances are greater they will notice and would, perhaps, elicit a surprised, curious or look of disapproval types of reactions but hardly ever any verbal reaction. As long as you are dressed appropriately, walk with confidence and self-assurance, you will "blend" more naturally with your surroundings and, while people will notice "you" they will notice the "whole" of you and not only your shoes. Wear with confidence and enjoy your "outing."

[fastfreddy2]

You are very brave. I went shopping yesterday in a shopping centre and couldn't bring myself even to enter a shop even though the shops were Faith, Aldo, Vivienne Westwood et al. By the way the shoes were gorgeous!

Next time, why not take a friend or family member with you? I suppose a family member might be harder (wife/sister), but a friend might not be so difficult? I've a couple of options, and now I give it some thought, think I've only ever been shopping alone for shoes once [and that wasn't from choice]. It was much harder than going accompanied. Harder = I was more self-conscious BTW.

I think my view on it is; that a man shopping for girls-shoes on his own makes them look like "billy-no-mates" indulging in something kept away from their mainstream life. If you have a man/woman buddy with you, it seems like your situation is more 'normal'. Several here have suggested going into the shop wearing heels makes it plain your purchase is a lifestyle thing, not a fetish activity. I've tried both. I prefer wearing heels if I try some new ones on in a shop, because there's a good chance I've already got hose on my feet, and I won't struggle to acclimatize to heels while I've trying on the new ones.

Somewhere (many posts ago) I said I'd stop trying shoes and boots on in the shop. Wasn't able to do that. I still try them on, like these which I think are just wonderful. But I still 'impulse' buy and return pairs (that don't work) later on too.

...

[Saturn]

Yes, my outing experience wasn't too bad at all. People really just don't care. Just how nobody watches what they're doing when they're driving, or whatever, the majority of people seem to be lost in whatever it is that they're doing. To change gears a little back to the topic of trying on shoes in store: People are talking about shopping at Aldos or other trendy women-specific high heel stores. This is the only hurdle I can't leap just yet. These smaller, concentrated shops are STILL hard for me to go into and actually try the shoes on. Their entire shop is very small, with large glass windows, and usually pretty busy. It's strange. I'll go into any "family-style" store, and try shoes on. Clearance rack at a big mall department store? Fine. But these "full service" shoe stores still kinda scare me. I think the main reason that I'm scared is that I don't think those places will carry my size 11, and it'll just be a waste of time. I suppose I'll never know if I don't try - but hey, I've come a long way here.

[Stilettoscot]

People are talking about shopping at Aldos or other trendy women-specific high heel stores. This is the only hurdle I can't leap just yet.

These smaller, concentrated shops are STILL hard for me to go into and actually try the shoes on. Their entire shop is very small, with large glass windows, and usually pretty busy. It's strange. I'll go into any "family-style" store, and try shoes on. Clearance rack at a big mall department store? Fine. But these "full service" shoe stores still kinda scare me.

I think the main reason that I'm scared is that I don't think those places will carry my size 11, and it'll just be a waste of time. I suppose I'll never know if I don't try - but hey, I've come a long way here.

As someone who may be working in an Aldo store in a few weeks, I have to say that these type stores may be the BEST places to try on shoes around! But, I see your point about the windows...

Tips:

1. Talk to the clerk (especially a pretty lady) right away about your wishes to try on the shoes. Don't nervously peek around at the shoes...go right up to a saleslady. Once you see how helpful and attentive she will be towards you trying on/buying heels, your initial anxiety will fade quick.

2. Have the "footsies" ready, and try on the shoes pointing away from the windows (usually towards the registers).

3. Wear in pants you will want to match the shoes with, and ASK THE SALESLADY HER TAKE! This will take your mind off of anything else around you. Noone else will matter, trust me.

4. Have several styles to try on. Nothing says confidence like a bunch of beautiful shoes near you!

OR, you could go to the mall where I'll (hopefully) be working soon...LOL

Oh, and most Aldo stores have the majority of their style go up to size 11, which they list a EU43 (more of a 42)....

[HappyFeat]

As someone who may be working in an Aldo store in a few weeks, I have to say that these type stores may be the BEST places to try on shoes around! But, I see your point about the windows...

Tips:

1. Talk to the clerk (especially a pretty lady) right away about your wishes to try on the shoes. Don't nervously peek around at the shoes...go right up to a saleslady. Once you see how helpful and attentive she will be towards you trying on/buying heels, your initial anxiety will fade quick.

2. Have the "footsies" ready, and try on the shoes pointing away from the windows (usually towards the registers).

3. Wear in pants you will want to match the shoes with, and ASK THE SALESLADY HER TAKE! This will take your mind off of anything else around you. Noone else will matter, trust me.

4. Have several styles to try on. Nothing says confidence like a bunch of beautiful shoes near you!

OR, you could go to the mall where I'll (hopefully) be working soon...LOL

Oh, and most Aldo stores have the majority of their style go up to size 11, which they list a EU43 (more of a 42)....

I was in Aldo today and had a wonderful experience just as Stilettoscot was describing. I told the clerk I wanted to browse the clearance rack, she offered to get anything I wanted. I tried on about 10 pair, asked her opinion (though she really was pushing the peep toes) and had a wonderful time. She even went and brought me a few shoes as suggestions.

However, the dilemma that I found is that the Aldo 43 was too small, but they are so beautiful.

[loswabs]

Somewhere (many posts ago) I said I'd stop trying shoes and boots on in the shop. Wasn't able to do that. I still try them on, like these which I think are just wonderful. But I still 'impulse' buy and return pairs (that don't work) later on too.

...

I don't blame you for trying those. They're gorgeous

[Saturn]

I might give Aldo a chance yet, but I need to cool it with buying heels. Not because I'm embarassed, but because I've got some that don't fit me that I need to get rid of, and I really don't have much money or space. I mean, I've spent my last twenty bucks on a pair before, even though I only had a quarter tank of gas. It's addicting.

[aussieheels1]

I mean, I've spent my last twenty bucks on a pair before, even though I only had a quarter tank of gas. It's addicting.

hahaaa i hear you.... it is certainly additive....

[HappyFeat]

I had my first negative experience while shoe shopping the other day. I made a special trip to a shopping area that has both a Nine West and a Steve Madden store. Both stores were moderately busy, but not packed. I picked out a shoe in each store and asked for it in an 11. In both instances they told me flat out that they did not carry 11's. At first, I figured that they may not have considered me a potential sale, but I was wearing my Nine West pumps at the time, so it was obvious that I was quite likely to buy. However, I think they just didn't want to be bothered, since at both Bandolino and Aldo, they offered to check online and order them for me if it was possible. Maybe I will try another time with different clerks.

[loswabs]

I had my first negative experience while shoe shopping the other day. I made a special trip to a shopping area that has both a Nine West and a Steve Madden store. Both stores were moderately busy, but not packed. I picked out a shoe in each store and asked for it in an 11. In both instances they told me flat out that they did not carry 11's. At first, I figured that they may not have considered me a potential sale, but I was wearing my Nine West pumps at the time, so it was obvious that I was quite likely to buy. However, I think they just didn't want to be bothered, since at both Bandolino and Aldo, they offered to check online and order them for me if it was possible. Maybe I will try another time with different clerks.

Simple solution - complain to the management, either locally or at head office. If nothing else this is unnecessary discrimination and we all deseve better. You're a potential customer FFS - don't they want to make a sale?

[Mr. X]

I don't blame you for trying those. They're gorgeous

I agree those boots are hot hot hot!

[muddypaws]

I am sorrry to hear that. I managed to get some time away from my partner today, a rare event these days, and I thought that I would go into My fav. local store TK Maxx in my heels, but I chickened out in the end, but did go in in my shorts and tried on a couple of pairs. One I liked was 41/2" Morgan peep toes, but I opted out at the end. Telling myself that I did not really need them just now and that I could put the money to better use. I was fun trying them on in my shorts. No one took any notice. I had a pair of slacks in the car, but chose not to put them on. Great day. Muddypaws.

[HappyFeat]

I had a great experience at Macy's today. My favorite shoes, a black pair of Nine West "Lucero" pumps are getting a bit worn and I have been unable to find another pair of black pumps that I really like. Today I went to the mall on a computer related errand and decided to just take a look at Macy's and I found a pair of the exact shoes in my size! I grabbed it and handed it to the clerk who retrieved them. When she returned, she handed me the box and a pair of footies! She didn't even ask or hesitate, just assumed that I was buying them for myself. It is the very first time in YEARS of shoe shopping that a clerk just assumed that the heels were for me. I will be sure to give her good feedback on the Macy's Website.

[aussieheels1]

that's brilliant happyfeat....

[fastfreddy2]

Went to Brent Cross (North London) yesterday. Only went to Fenwicks, home of the good shoes sales. I'd only gone for a look, as I have all the shoes I need for the next 30 years .....

That said, there was a pair of boots there, reduced from £150 to £55 that took my fancy. Size 7, so probably too small, but I thought to try them on.

As a reminder, I've had a lot of good experiences here. With a short period just after Christmas with one young Asian fella practically following me around to help me with womans shoes. Another time, another Asian girl assistant offering me the pair to try on, I'd asked for. (Which I declined.)

Yesterday, the shop wasn't that busy, though it was quite late in the day when I arrived. Some of the assistants were going around tidying up, and in seeking to avoid the offer of help from a tall good-looking black girl, I wandered off to the mens section to try the boot. My HD boot off, and sale boot half on, the pretty girl came over anyway. Well, the look of shock on her face almost scared me!

I smiled, and got a smile in return, but it was an automatic response.

Minutes later, I saw her buried in conversation with two colleagues. Possibly, despite her 25+ years, she'd never seen men trying heels before. Obviously led a sheltered life?

I had a good look around, but couldn't find anything else to try on, to entertain the young lady further.

Maybe next time.

....

[las]

Do you try shoes at the store before buying them?

I'm waiting to find someone to go with I think... not ventured into town with anything different on before!

[Danielinheels]

a tall good-looking black girl,

Could you pass her my email address? haha

[LovesHiHeels]

Every time I go into a shoe shop I try on shoes and not just the men shoes. If you don,t want to try shoes on in a public place you could aways try them on in the changing room or your car. If you don,t like them just take them back or swap them before you go home.

[fastfreddy2]

Do you try shoes at the store before buying them?

I'm waiting to find someone to go with I think... not ventured into town with anything different on before!

Where are you in "England"?

There are few things I know of, as entertaining to me as shoe shopping. I can bring a girl 'as cover' if required, and either one likes shoe shopping too.

Maybe not such a useful offer if you are in Manchester though.

[fastfreddy2]

Could you pass her my email address? haha

I'll ask, next time I'm there.

[hhboots]

I have to agree with comments that Saturn and Aussieheels made on the addiction of buying heels. Up until this year, when i had mainly done heeling at home only, I had only about four pairs of heels. Since I started street heeling this year, I have bought around 15-20 pairs of shoes. Mostly I am trying to find that perfect pair of discreet heels, at least that is the excuse I keep telling myself, but I believe I am strongly addicted to buying heels at this time. Anyway, almost all that I bought were from using the internet, and just a few pairs I bought from actual walk-in stores, and those were uncrowded stores with all the sizes there for you to help yourself and only once did I try them on, but no one was around at the time.

[fastfreddy2]

Since I started street heeling this year, I have bought around 15-20 pairs of shoes. Mostly I am trying to find that perfect pair of discreet heels, at least that is the excuse I keep telling myself, but I believe I am strongly addicted to buying heels at this time.

That all sounds awfully familiar.