Not a Fetish

[mlroseplant]

I was just thinking (because I do that sometimes) that there are a number of things I like to do which at first blush seem above and beyond the normal course of behavior. For one, I wear high heels whenever possible. That in and of itself is strange enough. Not only does it feel natural, but I get a kick out of it. I especially get a kick out of people saying, "How on earth do you do it?" I would like to claim it's a superpower, but it's not. I'm just as bad as anyone else at walking in heels, it's just that I practice a lot more, and consciously practice. I'm sure that doesn't even enter into most people's consciousness.

The other sub-thing I really seem to enjoy is wearing sandals or backless clogs all winter long. I don't know why I like to do it. It's not really a fetish, and it's not really a bragging rights thing, it's just something I like to do. Maybe because it involves a little hard work and sacrifice. Sometimes I feel guilty that I've got several pairs of boots which never get worn. Just some random thoughts.

[Shyheels]

I like knee boots - or over the knee boots - with and without heels purely for reasons of fashion, style and personal taste. There’s nothing of fetish in it at all. It annoys me when people assume that there must be some sexual angle to any guys preference for footwear that society assigns to women. It simply is not the case, not with me anyway.

[Cali]

5 hours ago, Shyheels said:

There’s nothing of fetish in it at all. It annoys me when people assume that there must be some sexual angle to any guys preference for footwear that society assigns to women.

Why limit it to just footwear?

I wear a lot of turtlenecks in the winter and I will layer them. I have switched to women's because they fit me better, are softer,  more colorful, sleeveless (when needed), ....

[Shyheels]

Well, for one thing this forum is about high heels

Secondly I doubt if many people consider turtleneck sweaters to be fetish objects, whereas fetishes about heels, shoes and boots are well known and recognised - which is why so many people blithely assume that a guy who likes wearing heels and tall boots must have a fetish, and totally discount any other possibility.

  

[Cali]

I could have choosing many other items, such as pants, or jackets, or ... 

It takes the same type of courage to wear heels in public on a daily basis as it is to wear say fingernail polish, or leggings, or anything else. If you are confident and show confidence then you can expand what people think. I like tall high heel boots and if you walk and display confidence, you can diffuse the fetish vibe. Don't let what you wear define who you are.

[p1ng74]

7 hours ago, mlroseplant said:

I'm just as bad as anyone else at walking in heels, it's just that I practice a lot more, and consciously practice. I'm sure that doesn't even enter into most people's consciousness.

I like that you use the word consciousness, because I think that is my key motivation.  For much of life I just wore whatever was essentially handed to me, but recently I discovered that to not be conscious of your own fashion choices is a missed opportunity to express a unique part of yourself and present new ideas.  I feel like being conscious and deliberate in experimenting with footwear complements an overall desire to be more aware and conscious of everything else going on around me in life.  

[Shyheels]

20 hours ago, Cali said:

I could have choosing many other items, such as pants, or jackets, or ... 

It takes the same type of courage to wear heels in public on a daily basis as it is to wear say fingernail polish, or leggings, or anything else. If you are confident and show confidence then you can expand what people think. I like tall high heel boots and if you walk and display confidence, you can diffuse the fetish vibe. Don't let what you wear define who you are.

It’s not a matter of giving off any vibe, it is simply a matter of expectations on the part of a great many people who believe that any male who wears heels has some sort of fetish. That this is not necessarily true is irrelevant. How you carry yourself or behave is similarity irrelevant in this context. People see only what they want to see, or believe in.

And no one is suggesting that anyone allows these views and misconceptions to define them, only that these assumptions and misconceptions exist. Which they do.

Edited December 29, 2019 by Shyheels

[dagino]

I have a fetish knee high boots with heels. When a woman puts on them, I'm ready. Each of us has a different attitude to women's shoes. I like the graceful shapes of boots. I don't like bare feet in sandals.

[HappyinHeels]

mlroseplant,

You wondered aloud the same thing on one of my visits to your place. I distinctly remember your then 9-year-old son saying "you do it because it gives you joy." He nailed it concisely and simply. It really is no more complicated than that. No wonder I like that kid he's got stuff figured ahead of time . In the meantime have a good New Year's Eve over there in Iowa no matter what heels you have on! HinH

[mlroseplant]

On 12/29/2019 at 9:01 AM, dagino said:

I have a fetish knee high boots with heels. When a woman puts on them, I'm ready. Each of us has a different attitude to women's shoes. I like the graceful shapes of boots. I don't like bare feet in sandals.

I suppose it depends upon your definition of "fetish." Do you focus on the boots only, or is it the total look that goes along with the boots? Do you feel the same when you're wearing such boots yourself? I honestly don't have anything against boots, I think they can look quite nice in the right context.

On 12/30/2019 at 3:31 AM, HappyinHeels said:

mlroseplant,

You wondered aloud the same thing on one of my visits to your place. I distinctly remember your then 9-year-old son saying "you do it because it gives you joy." He nailed it concisely and simply. It really is no more complicated than that. No wonder I like that kid he's got stuff figured ahead of time . In the meantime have a good New Year's Eve over there in Iowa no matter what heels you have on! HinH

Did he really say that? It sounds like something he would say, though I don't remember it specifically. Can you believe he will be 11 in a few short weeks? Happy New Year! I'll be staying at home this year.

[Logjam]

On 12/30/2019 at 1:31 AM, HappyinHeels said:

mlroseplant,

You wondered aloud the same thing on one of my visits to your place. I distinctly remember your then 9-year-old son saying "you do it because it gives you joy." He nailed it concisely and simply. It really is no more complicated than that. No wonder I like that kid he's got stuff figured ahead of time . In the meantime have a good New Year's Eve over there in Iowa no matter what heels you have on! HinH

Sounds as though that young man has his head screwed on much better than many adults with whom I’ve interacted. Good job, Dad!

And echoing HiH - a Happy and Peaceful New Year to all!

[HappyinHeels]

Yep, he said it! My memory is still fairly reliable. He has a winter birthday like me. My wife and I will be home for New Years for the first time in a few years. We went to Nashville a year ago and Memphis the year before that. We'll be headed to the Florida Panhandle to visit friends and then head West to Mexicali and SW Arizona after that. We're waiting to see how far the Packers go in the playoffs since we have tickets for them. We now know we'll be at Lambeau Field on the 12th and who knows beyond that. All the best! HinH

[Chorlini]

For me its a fetish. While I enjoy wearing heels myself I enjoy them more seeing them on women. It's part sexual fetish and part also because I like to wear them myself around the house whenever I feel like it. And I reckon wearing heels as a fetish applies to most men, because judging by the number of shops and brands that cater to fetish heels that also stock in large sizes it must be spread wider then we think. I mean, how else could we explain why 7" fetish heels still get made, the almost impossible to wear Scream series, and yet 5" to 6" single sole is sometimes impossible to find? The men here for whom wearing heels in daily life is probably but a small subsection of the number of men that probably have a fetish pair hidden in their closets. If all the men who have ever bought a pair of high heels were to come out male fashion would probably be changed forever over night. But contrary to most people here to these men its not about about fashion but fetish.

That's my take on the matter. Happy new year by the way!

[Pierre1961]

I appreciate the way you explain why we like to wear high heels. Well said .

[mlroseplant]

On 1/2/2020 at 7:55 AM, Chorlini said:

For me its a fetish. While I enjoy wearing heels myself I enjoy them more seeing them on women. It's part sexual fetish and part also because I like to wear them myself around the house whenever I feel like it. And I reckon wearing heels as a fetish applies to most men, because judging by the number of shops and brands that cater to fetish heels that also stock in large sizes it must be spread wider then we think. I mean, how else could we explain why 7" fetish heels still get made, the almost impossible to wear Scream series, and yet 5" to 6" single sole is sometimes impossible to find? The men here for whom wearing heels in daily life is probably but a small subsection of the number of men that probably have a fetish pair hidden in their closets. If all the men who have ever bought a pair of high heels were to come out male fashion would probably be changed forever over night. But contrary to most people here to these men its not about about fashion but fetish.

That's my take on the matter. Happy new year by the way!

I guess I should reassess my original post. I won't ever try to say that I don't find women in heels attractive, maybe to the point where I fixate on shoes and feet. However, as soon as I put them on myself, all of the sexual responses disappear, and are replaced by a general feeling of well-being, bordering on bliss at times. I've caught myself walking along more than once, happily clicking away, and wondering, "What could be better than this?" That's what I mean by "Not a fetish." Luckily for me, I don't have to worry about finding stuff in larger sizes, so I can buy "normal" fashion shoes easily. I would actually like to try some fetish height heels sometime, just to see if I can hack it, but I have not yet managed to convince myself to spend any money on something I know I'll never wear outside the house.

[hiddenheels]

On 1/3/2020 at 7:58 PM, mlroseplant said:

I guess I should reassess my original post. I won't ever try to say that I don't find women in heels attractive, maybe to the point where I fixate on shoes and feet. However, as soon as I put them on myself, all of the sexual responses disappear, and are replaced by a general feeling of well-being, bordering on bliss at times. I've caught myself walking along more than once, happily clicking away, and wondering, "What could be better than this?" That's what I mean by "Not a fetish." Luckily for me, I don't have to worry about finding stuff in larger sizes, so I can buy "normal" fashion shoes easily. I would actually like to try some fetish height heels sometime, just to see if I can hack it, but I have not yet managed to convince myself to spend any money on something I know I'll never wear outside the house.

I feel the exact same way. They look great on women, but when I put them on, it just "feels right", like "this is how it should be". I've explained it to my wife using these words, and she understands. Doesn't like it, but understands. In any case, it's not a fetish, although I do have a few heels that I'm sure would be categorized as fetish, and those are just for fun at home.